How to survive the betrayal of loved ones - mother, son, daughter, husband, wife, lover: Psychologist's advice

This article describes the advice of psychologists how to survive the betrayal of loved ones at work.

Content

If a loved one betrays, this always leaves a deep and painful imprint on the soul, and then you lose the ability to believe in such positive phenomena as friendship and even love. But sometimes such events can be regarded as the necessary evil, a way to free from addiction.

In some cases, surviving such a blow as the loss of a friend or loved one will become easier if you use the help and advice of an experienced specialist.
To survive the betrayal of a loved one is a difficult process.
But it is necessary to go along this path in order to preserve or even revive in yourself so important beliefs as faith in other people and their loyalty to each other.

Each person, regardless of his position, including social, has to face at least once in his life the betrayal of a best friend or loved one, but at the end to find the strength to rise in himself and to regain the will to life.

How to survive betrayal: what is this phenomenon from the point of view of psychology?

To combat a psychological notes, it is necessary to understand their essence, and in particular what kind of actions people call the word “betrayal”, their causes, thoughts, feelings. What is this phenomenon in terms of psychology?

In a general sense, a betrayal is considered to be a violation of fidelity or a refusal to fulfill its duty.
The moral laws of any society urge to condemn the traitors and their acts, as a violation of the Tabu, which is granted.
By betraying, such people destroy trusting relationships between people, thereby undermining the moral and moral foundations of the social structure.
This naturally leads to a violation of the stability and stability of society.
Violations of “laws” of honesty and fidelity are considered especially painful.
Being once deceived, people not only cease to believe the apostate, but also begin to be suspicious of each other.
Their life is becoming increasingly closed, the norm is the fear of trusting anyone.

The result of this process is not only an alien attitude, but also open hostility towards other people.

Reasons for betrayal: why do people betray?

It is impossible to say who is more often cheating - men or women. But betrayal or betrayal in any case is difficult. The reasons for any betrayal will always be:

Egoism
Weakness
Unconsciousness
A person’s inability to understand the reason for his own actions

All this together allows you to call the traitor an unreasonable person. It also helps to recognize the truth that anyone can betray. Moreover, regardless of their related, material or social status, despite any moral obstacles.

Often, betrayal is almost always a sign of ordinary weakness. This inability to not follow the simplest way to abandon any obligations to a person, from all responsibility.

How to survive the resentment, divorce and betrayal of a beloved guy, husband: what do women who survived betrayal feel?

It is difficult to survive resentment, divorce and betrayal of a beloved guy, husband

The traitor destroys the society in which he lives. Causing harm to a particular person implies the destruction of not only the external, but also the inner world of the devotee.

It is worth knowing: Pre -traitors, even if other people cause terrible pain, at the same time their cruel acts involuntarily teach the minds betrayed in themselves.

The most severe betrayal will forever remain an insult and the betrayal of a loved one is a guy, husband. You do not expect a blow from him elementary under any circumstances, and you do not allow such a thought. How to survive this and divorce if it happened? What do women feel surviving betrayal?

Here are the answers:

The trust confirmed by time is the basis of the relationship.
Therefore, you expect from them an appropriate attitude to yourself: honesty and readiness for everything. And this is the greatest danger: abandoned women do not consider the probabilities of deception from loved ones and not indifferent to themselves.
Not expecting that they may be capable of such a pernicious act, women remain unprotected in the most vulnerable place.
During the betrayal of loved ones, it affects the cruelty with which it is committed.
But in fact, a person is betrayed by his lack of readiness for betrayal, a lack of understanding.
For people deprived of their souls, betrayal acts as a kind of norm, unlike the betrayed, and at the same time a misunderstanding that everyone can be devoted at any moment.

Many men are able to spit into their souls, and it does not matter how much good was done for them. But they do this just for the reason that they are not able to be reasonable.

In addition to their personal predatory instincts, for these people there are no other motives, and common sense. For this reason, people are so difficult to trust. But people continue to do good for a loved one in the hope that he will be reasonable. Even taking into account the existence of the overwhelming unreasonable majority, they made the right choice. They just want to believe it, and the betrayal of this faith deprives them.

How to survive betrayal, treason, deception of a loved one - wife: a psychologist's advice

It is difficult to survive betrayal, treason, deception of a loved one - wife

From the foregoing, it is clear that the most destructive effect on a person has a betrayal in love. This is the most painful and heavy, erasing the cleanest and sincere, a person’s feeling. All this is replaced by unbearable pain, which seems to be impossible to get rid of. Here are the advice of a psychologist, how to survive betrayal, betrayal, deception of a loved one - wives:

Think about the fact that many in their lives had to go through such a test, or have only to do.
You suffer more than one, since love and betrayal are inseparable by nature of your phenomenon.
The betrayal has a positive side: a devoted man is forced not only to suffer, but also to learn to be wise, to cultivate power in himself.
In this case, finally abandon the illusions in which you were before.
The betrayal in a sense makes a vaccine from weakness, giving greater vitality and experience of life.

Unfortunately, the necessary role of traitors in the life of other people is to be their “teachers”, designed to bring experience not to trust people. Living without confidence in others is not only difficult, but in principle it is impossible. Therefore, each person is forced to trust someone, but choosing allies and support with all the required prudence and caution.

How to survive the betrayal of friends, friends: Psychologist's advice

It is difficult to survive the betrayal of friends, friends

It is much easier for a person manages to survive the betrayal of friends, a friend for a man or girlfriends for a woman. Such an outcome of events is not able to completely devastate the soul of a devotee, although it will cause emotions to a certain extent painful. Here are the tips of the psychologist, how to survive the betrayal of friends, friends:

You should remember that the choice of friends - a priori is one of the most responsible and difficult activities.
The elected friend plays the role of the reflection of the person choosing him, proving the truth of the phrase: "Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are".
Therefore, the next time, choose a friend, showing careful and close attention, so that one day not to call an ally of a well -disguised enemy.
Friend-chairman played for you the excellent role of the "teacher". Of course, you are now deprived of hope not only for a friend, but also for other people.
Therefore, you need to believe in yourself and your own strength.
Such a lesson is useful, because in most life situations you, like other people, have to count on, if not exclusively, then primarily on your own capabilities.
Just know that everything in this life returns with a boomerang.
Other people, albeit who have an important role in his life, can at any time act with your traitor in the same way as he recently acted with you.

Even on the seeming incredible cruelty, the person who was abandoned or deceived at the most crucial moment needs to go through it. As mentioned above, taking into account the likelihood of such a development of events, often through this it is necessary to once go through the traitor himself. Thinking about this, it will become easier for you, because you understand that he will be punished and will also suffer.

Now, having such an experience, you will be ready for betrayal. You will try not to let other people too close to yourself, because you understand that if the betrayal is a surprise to you, then you yourself will be guilty in this. After all, you found themselves at the betrayal of the unprepared and, in fact, independently substituted under the blow.

How to survive personal collapse, betrayal: what is the wine of a devotee?

Experience of personal collapse, betrayal

The betrayal looks vile and unexpected. But do not forget that the devoted to a certain extent is guilty of the fact that one day he was deceived. How to survive personal collapse and betrayal? What is the wine of the devotee? Here's the answer:

People tend to look at loved ones and friends through “pink glasses”, attributing them the best moral qualities, such as fidelity, reliability, compassion, responsiveness.
They can’t even assume that, perhaps, in fact, everything will be completely wrong. This process was called "idealization."
As a result, a person can christen not only the unwillingness to do anything.
Even an elementary inability, the lack of the ability of loved ones to sacrifice their feelings, time, money or something important for a person, can be accepted for betrayal.
Often, devoted himself is in the position of an egoist, laying too much expectations on loved ones. They turn out to be so unbearable that people will not be able to justify, due to external circumstances. In this case, a person calls the refusal to receive what is desired to this second.

That is, a betrayal may often not be the trampling of not written moral laws, but an ordinary mismatch of a person’s expectations with a real state of things. Therefore, think, perhaps, personal collapse is just a small trouble that will pass soon, and then you will remember it with a smile.

How to survive the betrayal of the mother and live on: betrayal as an occasion of liberation from dependence

Mother is the closest person for any of us. Therefore, her betrayal is one of the most painful feelings. How to survive and live on:

Summarizing all of the above, we can draw a paradoxical conclusion that betrayal is capable of playing the role of not only the lesson of independence and vitality, but also become the reason for the liberation on the dependence of one person on another.
This also applies to the betrayal of the mother.
We all depend on our parents for the time being.
But many people all their lives cannot get rid of this dependence.
Such a betrayal can be as an occasion of release from this subject.

The same can be said about love between a man and a woman, or friendship between two people.

Friendship or love is easily easily with dependent relationships.
In this case, you have to look for a solution to an impossible task: “How to make a person always happy next to me?”
People are shocked, once realizing that their friendship or love eventually transformed dependence.
After all, this position is no different from the relationship "Patron-consumer".

For example, the lives of two people who have been friends or relatives for many years once begin to go on several excellent scenarios.

One becomes successful, unlike the second.
Moreover, this can be with the mother with the child when children become more successful than their parents.
In addition, a daughter or son does not forget to support their parent, or a friend helps a less successful friend, not only morally, but also financially.
The second over time begins to perceive his help for granted and ceases to respond to it even with formal thanks.

Even parents, despite the fact that children are obliged to help them or they should thank their children. Not to mention friends, between whom naturally there is a break in friendly relations:

The first one once breaks all kinds of relations with the second, and the second calls the first “traitor”.
But in reality, it was not friendship, but a prolonged dependence of the “patron-baked”, finally torn.

Get used to thank you. Even if a person is a very close relative or friend to you. No one is obliged to do something for you, and if he does (helps or just comes to visit), then for this you need to at least say “thank you”.

How to survive the betrayal of the child - son, daughter: tips

The soul of a loyal person is always captured by conflicting emotions: rage and thirst for revenge on the one hand, and confused with regret for lost relations on the other. Often, adult children betray their elderly parents, throwing them to the mercy of fate. It is difficult for a mother or father in this case to survive such a betrayal. After all, a child is a blood, the most expensive person for the parent.

In this state, one cannot be alone with your grief and do everything possible to gain faith in people and self -confidence. How to survive the betrayal of the child - son, daughter? Here are the tips:

A person is obliged to take responsibility for his life in his own hands.
Think about the fact that the child will change his mind and will still come to you with a guilty head. ,
Take the truth, of course, it is difficult, but it will be easier to survive the negative feeling that when faced with betrayal, you are freed from addiction.
Negative emotions can be released by writing “on the table” several angry letters of the daughter or son-chairman.
Do the activities that bring positive emotions daily.
Exclude such destructive thoughts as "people cannot be believed" and "everyone can become a traitor, and even their own child."

If nothing helps, then from the closed circle of negative emotions, the corresponding sessions of the psychologist will help you break out.

How to survive the betrayal of a lover: a psychologist's advice

A lover for many women is the only and most beloved and dear person. When he betrays, it is also unpleasant and painful. The woman becomes a victim of deception. Here are the advice of a psychologist, how to survive the betrayal of a lover:

Remember that this is only the temporary stage of your life from which you need to learn the right lessons.
As a result of this, the situation and the experience gained will make you stronger.
With a 100%guarantee, it can be argued that in a few years you can say “thank you” to the very betrayal that opened your eyes and hardened you.
Do not revel in despair and try to bring the ends with life or worry in depression.
After all, it will still work out, and you will find that very, beloved and only person.

You are not alone with yourself. Go a walk with your friends, get distracted by something. Every day it will become easier for you, and you can not only forget your offender, but also meet a new love that will make you happy.

How to survive betrayal at work: Tips

What one person considers betrayal can perceive as a simple misunderstanding. Several dozen people can work in one office, and they are all different in nature and personal preferences. Therefore, someone can accept this or that situation as betrayal, and for another, this is just a slight misunderstanding. Here are the advice on how to survive betrayal at work:

Assess the situation:

Determine the parameters of what happened and ask questions if the problem is unclear.
For example, you found that your name did not fall into the main report to which you contributed.
Find out if it was deliberately or in carelessness.

Soften the situation:

Another thing is if you suddenly find, for example, that a colleague took a loan in your name, setting you up.
Naturally, how you survive in a similar situation, should be based on your relationship with a colleague.
If this is a person whom you know for a long time and who has never shown false behavior in the past, a frank conversation is in order to find out what is really happening.
On the other hand, if there were skirmishes with a problematic colleague, and the tactics of deception are aggravated, the time has come to contact the leader for mediation.

Unrealistic expectations:

Sometimes what seems to be a betrayal is actually unrealistic expectations.
For example, if you assumed that you will be raised to the manager of the department when your immediate boss retires. But instead, another person will be hired from the side. You may feel that what was yours was rightfully taken away.
Such a situation can actually be. It can also be the wrong performance that arose in your head, but this did not actually happen.
Determine the validity of the circumstances before drawing hasty conclusions.

Frank betrayal:

There are cases when an evil or lying act is clearly not a misunderstanding, but rather a deliberate attempt to spoil the relationship, albeit workers.
If an employee with whom you work shows this type of behavior, you can survive the situation in one of the available ways.
It is necessary to resist a colleague, clarify the situation, express your concern and anxiety.
Find a way to solve the problem and go through it to maintain a professional relationship.

If all your attempts are in vain, and you understand that because of this situation at work, something terrible happens in your life, bring the information to the senior manager.

The stories of women who survived pain and betrayal: reviews

If you yourself can’t survive pain and betrayal, then read the stories of other women who have gone through it. Here are their reviews:

Margarita, 27 years old

My boyfriend invited the girl with whom he slept before that she would spend Christmas with us. In general, we decided to spend a holiday with a friend. When he arrived to pick me up, this girl was with him in the car. As soon as I saw her, I was shocked all. I looked at him and asked: "Are you serious?" However, he accused his friend of inviting her. Worst of all, she was drunk. But I went to see what would come of all this. On the way to a party, she tried to start a conversation. When we arrived, he got drunk already. As a result, I found him in another room with this girl in bed. So the whole story is a real betrayal, deception and treason. Naturally, I broke up with this person.

Tatyana, 28 years old

I caught my ex -husband on treason when I was in the eighth month of pregnancy. I was scared, hit him and gave him a slap in the face to another woman. Then I returned home, put all his things in a cardboard box and sent her to his mother’s house. On the same day, my fights began. My daughter was born a little thin, but healthy. She is now 14 years old. I got married again and now I'm happy. The ex -husband was drunk, and I don’t know where he lives. Yes, and I don't care.

Julia, 24 years old

My boyfriend was very sweet and always said that he loved me. However, we rarely met, since he, according to him, was busy with work. I trusted him 100%, and we spent the whole weekend together. Once I was waiting for him, but he did not come, explaining that he was ill. Later I found out that he was at a party. The next weekend he also did not appear, and three days later - tore with me on SMS, explaining this by the fact that I was too focused on studying. A few months later I found out that he cheated on me with his ex. He also had connections with retired colleagues in exchange for money or gifts. It seems strange for the guy, but it was. At that time, this greatly influenced my self -esteem. But now I am glad that I got rid of this “piece of garbage”.

Labkovsky "How to survive betrayal" is a personal psychologist: video

Mikhail Labkovsky - This is a practicing psychologist, lawyer, television and radio host. He can become your personal psychologist, since the doctor writes all his answers to the questions of the audience and listeners to the video. Therefore, see and happen that the specialist advises: