My husband changed me - is it worth it to forgive and how to do it? When should not forgive betrayal and why?

Men often cheat on their wives and even the most ideal marriage is not safe from this. Let's find out how to behave correctly and whether it is worth forgiving treason.

Probably the most difficult event in the life of everyone from which no one is safe is a betrayal, treason, a close beloved person whom you trust and want to live a long and happy life.

Yes, treason is very painful and unpleasant. He defeats so much emotions that it does not even work soberly to reason. But you have to gather your thoughts and decide what to do next.

In the betrayal of a man there are reasons and they must be taken into account. Maybe he fell out of love, or maybe it was a minute weakness. You should make a decision whether to forgive a man, but we will try to give a few recommendations that will help you decide.

Why do men change: reasons

Often, men are of the opinion that treason is a norm for a man. This is impossible for women, but they can do everything. At the same time, if this is a one -time situation, then there was no betrayal. So why do men go to treason, but often remain in the family? As a rule, this indicates that a man loves his wife and wants to maintain a relationship, but how then to understand him?

• Sexual needs

Then a man does not have any affection for a mistress. Yes, they don't even communicate. The connection quickly passes and usually it can be random with unfamiliar girls or old acquaintances.

• Diversity

Sometimes men want new impressions and they are looking for them on the side. To not happen, you should think about your sexual life. Maybe it is not diverse enough?

• Random obligations

As a rule, when intoxicated, the boundaries of the permitted are erased, and sexual attraction increases. By the way, this is a common cause of betrayal.

• The senses

In such a situation, treason is natural, because it is part of a relationship based on love.

• The persistence of the mistress

Today, a lot of women are not married and many are ready for relations even with married men. When a man has to meet such an initiative lady, he simply cannot refuse her. Moreover, no one wants him to be considered legally incompetent.

• Self -affirmation

When a man cannot realize himself in his career, it hits his pride. He comforts him with his sexual victories. As a rule, the more successfully a man and the more he has in harmony, the less he changes.

• Revenge

Sometimes men change when they want to take revenge on a woman and do it as much as she is. Moreover, this allows you to get rid of humiliation and confirm that it is free.

• Temporary separation

Often, men are looking for a replacement for their wife. Formations or vacations can be a good reason, because the separation is long, albeit temporary.

• Bonus for success

This reason is often inherent in men who are too persistently striving to realize their dreams and goals. When he has been working hard for many years and finally receives what he wants, he decides that he can get a bonus in the form of a mistress.

It also happens that men are content with the principle that life is short and is given only once. In addition, in today's society, betrayals are almost encouraged. Well, it’s a sin not to take advantage of this.

The betrayals of men are perceived as pranks, satisfaction of needs, and so on. But, to maintain loyalty or not is the personal decision of everyone.

How to understand that a man is cheating: signs

You can understand whether a man can be changed by different signs and then we will talk about them.

• Mobile telephone

Today, everyone has mobile phones and if a man carefully hides his betrayal, then she may definitely appear here. If a new “Vasya” suddenly appears with a female voice, calls from work in the evenings or SMS with advertising will begin, then you should think.

Every woman will notice that there were changes, because he will carry the phone with him, put the password and so on. But you don’t have to immediately think about betrayal, because suddenly he just prepares something pleasant to you.

• Changing behavior and appearance

Often women note that a man close to treason or already doing this begins to fill himself. If constant calls, blockages at work and the aroma of other people's spirits are still somehow explained, then the behavior in love already evokes bad thoughts.

Basically, men carefully monitor themselves, doused with spirits, update the wardrobe and so on. If you didn’t move a man to such an attitude to yourself, then think about who he suddenly wants to like so much.

Change of mood will be very noticeable. For example, he is always angry and tired in the evenings, suddenly he will come in a good mood and does not exhaust him. In general, there will be a feeling that somewhere he has a “gas station” station.

• Less free time for you

If treason was more than once and it flowed into something more, then it takes more time. Therefore, you will often hear that he has a meeting, a business trip, a trip to a sauna with friends and so on.

• Lies and excuses

Every woman who knows her man well can determine that he is lying. It remains only to make sure of this. Constant excuses, some stories with inconsistencies, stuttering and even nerves for ordinary questions are already forcing to think.

If you decide to figure out what is happening, then calmly ask him about everything, noting inconsistencies. Either a man admits you, or everything will be clear without it. In any conversation, it is important to consider gestures and facial expressions, because most often the man is telling the truth.

• The attitude towards you has changed

If a man changes sharply in relation to you, then this is a reason to think. This can appear in several ways.

Usually, after treason, a man has a feeling of guilt, and therefore he can become too attentive, caring and sensitive. Even in bed, everything will become too good. This is mainly happening when a man does not want to part or decided to change your relationship.

When a man falls in love with a mistress and often visits her, his behavior can be explained by a manifestation of feelings that hurts you too.

The second scenario - you will be reproached in different things and compare with another. And your view is not the same, and the attitude is not that. Relations always begin the same way - it seems that it has never been so good and only she alone loves and understands. Often, men succumb to this and what is happening.

If you do not want to solve the problem radically, and there is no evidence, then try to establish the situation. The figure is not the same? So we go to fitness. Did he buy a subscription for training? Go with him. There is nothing to talk about? Watch his favorite movie or show.

This will allow you to be distracted from experiences, and it will affect the relationship better. Even if the situation ends badly, you will still be in the plus.

• Tastes are changing

Few men like to change something in their lives, so if your husband suddenly changed the usual order, then he found where else. You just need to understand where.

If he began to ask to cook something new, cut the potatoes differently and ask why you are doing this way, then think about it. There are also changes in bed. He begins to ask for poses or techniques that previously unknown to you.

If you have suspicions, then ask you directly where it all came from. This question will fail him, because it will be difficult for him to remember who and what he likes and who said.

If you are ready to hear the truth about treason from a man, then ask him directly about everything. Perhaps he will unlock, but if you drive him into a dead end, he admits.

Is it possible and is it worth forgiving treason?

Inappropriation is a strong blow even on the most ideal relationship, from which it is very difficult to recover. The most difficult thing is not to get out of all this, but to decide what to do.

It is one thing when your husband collects things and goes to his mistress. Then you are left without the right to choose. You just need to survive the gap and learn how to live alone. Another - when the traitor begs a second chance and wants to stay with you.

That's just then the question arises - is it worth it to forgive treason or is it better to leave? Of course, you will have to solve this issue and not always dramatically, because sometimes it is enough to simply fix the relationship.

Among psychologists, it is believed that treason is a strong blow to the psyche, from which it is extremely difficult to recover. Those who had to face betrayal should carefully monitor their condition. It is important to take into account both physical and moral. Often, women's diseases are manifested in women, and in men, alcoholism.

Before solving the issue, you need to perform several actions:

• Calm down
• Wait until the first emotional outbreaks from betrayal pass
• Try to close from strong emotions and try to assess the situation soberly
• Do not make any serious decisions at all while you have a depressed state

If your husband demands to answer him, then do not swear or discuss something. Ask for you to think for a while.

How to behave correctly if my husband has changed?

One or two weeks enough to understand the situation. You can decide on your feelings for the wrong spouse and understand whether you are ready to forgive him.

Be sure to restore your strength and tune in to a serious conversation in which you will make a general decision. Do not tighten the situation too much, because sooner or later the conversation will take place anyway.

Your conversation should be held in a calm environment. Refrain from the scandal and tantrums, as well as dramatization with tears and accusations. Behave adequately, be higher than that.

During the conversation, find out under what circumstances and why treason occurred. Yes, it will be very unpleasant to listen to, but take yourself together and listen. It is much easier if it was only once and by chance on a drunken head, and if it happened for years, then the blow will be extremely strong.

In the latter case, you should already think, are you sure that you know your man well? Is it worth it to forgive him if he managed to deceive you for years! What prevents him from doing this again?

It is also worthwhile to ask whether a beloved repents of a perfect act and what he thinks to do next. Perhaps he does not want to save his family, and infidelity was just an impetus for parting. If he convinces you that he wants to maintain relationships, and also that he loves you and everything happened by chance, then there is a point in forgiven treason.

When is it worth it to forgive the betrayal?

So, you found out what you wanted and now you need to think and understand whether it is worth giving your relationship another chance or better to part. It makes sense to forgive treason in several cases:

• It was once for your life together, and even then by chance
• The partner is really your soul mate and you lived happily until this point
• You love your husband very much and do not know how you will live without him
• You largely depend on your partner and you have no other choice

The latter, of course, is not the reason to stay together, but if you decide to leave everything as it is, you will have to put up with betrayals in exchange for a good life.

• The wrong husband sincerely repented his deed and wants you to forgive him
• Treason was the only time and you are sure that this will not happen anymore

In each of these cases, you can regard treason as a stupid mistake, and since no one is protected from this, then everyone is worthy of forgiveness.

When should not be forgiven treason?

The wrong spouse should not always be forgiven, because your kindness can turn against you. They can use this, wipe your legs about you and ultimately you will face a bunch of diseases from nerves and others. There are several reasons when the betrayal should not be forgiven:

• Your husband does not feel remorse and does not see anything bad in his deed or even tries to blame you for being guilty
• He cannot guarantee a repetition of such a situation
• Treason is not the first and you once gave him a chance
• The husband admits that he fell in love and cannot abandon his mistress
• The deception lasted many years and the man lived for almost two families
• You do not experience your previous feelings, you are out of habit with him, and treason is a good reason for parting you do not like your spouse, and you were held together by the habit
• You do not tend to forgive people

In each of these situations, it is better to break all the relationship and go your own way, because you will not succeed in anything good, even if you try again. Undoubtedly, everyone decides whether a man is worthy of forgiveness, but before making a decision it is necessary to consider the situation well, so as not to regret their choice. Look at the situation from different angles, because everything happens in life.

For example, a woman goes to the principle and drives her husband, not even giving him the opportunity to explain herself, and then sorry for her stubbornness. Someone lives all his life with someone who is cheating on her and simply closing his eyes.

After forgiveness of infidelity, the man again changes and causes even more suffering. And someone manages to restore relations and live happily. What exactly is your case-it is impossible to say, but you always need to take into account different points, and not some kind of one. After all, this will not necessarily happen again, although such a stereotype has already settled in society.

In conclusion, it is worth recalling once again that if you decide to forgive a man, then never remind him of a mistake.

Video: How to forgive betrayal? For forgive or not betrayal? The husband changed. The wife changed