Why do I forgive him treason and can't leave? Should I forgive betrayal and why not do this?

Partner betrayal is the most common cause of divorce. However, it must be understood that far from betrayal actually becomes the reason for parting, because treason is a consequence and the result of the fact that something happened in the relationship of the couple does not go well.

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Today we propose to talk about why many people forgive betrayal, and try to figure out whether it is worth doing.

Why forgive the betrayal: reasons

Many people who have forgiven treason hear the same question in their address: “Why forgiven. forgiven the betrayal? ” In fact, the reasons why people forgive their partner of treason.

Here are which of them are distinguished by experts:

Strong love. Sometimes such love is called blind, because a person loves a partner, turning a blind eye to all his shortcomings, actions and actions.
The desire to save the family for the sake of children. For this reason, people most often forgive their partners. Indeed, in our society it is generally accepted that a child cannot grow happy and healthy in an incomplete family. At the same time, experts argue that most often such a cause simply hide behind, because they are not ready to take responsibility for the consequences of the divorce.

"I can’t go because there is nowhere." Another most common reason why the couple continues to live together even after treason. Very often such a phrase can be heard from women. But again, this is only a matter of principles and priorities, because for someone it is simply unacceptable to stay with the changer and no circumstances can contribute to this.
Because of the fear of loneliness. Many people suffer from low self -esteem, believe that they are not worthy of true love, and no one will pay attention to them. This is especially true for women who remain with children, because in our society you can often hear such a phrase as "who you will need with children, trailer." In this case, experts recommend turning to psychologists for help that will change the attitude of a person to himself and teach him not only to love, but also to respect himself.
Due to a normal attitude to treason. Not all people see something terrible in treason and not everyone makes a tragedy out of this. Based on such views on life, some people calmly forgive betrayal and continue to live with an incorrect partner further.
Because of your own betrayal. There are situations when a person forgives infidelity to the partner due to his own betrayal. That is, a person feels his guilt for changing his partner and therefore cannot but forgive him for a betrayal.

Why can't you forgive betrayal?

As you know, how many people are so many opinions, therefore there are those who believe that you can and should be forgiven, and those that are sure that you cannot forgive treason.

Now let's talk about why you cannot forgive treason:

Any betrayal -This is a comparison of you with someone, but if a person loves, he does not need to make sure that you are the best, beautiful, suitable for him. If such a need has appeared, and the person has changed, then he passed the feelings for you.
Once forgiven the betrayal, you give a person to understand that his actions are not so scary for you, and he can continue to “go to the side”, because one day you have already forgiven him for this and most likely sorry, if necessary, again.
Forgive betrayal - To show disrespect for yourself, and if you do not respect yourself, then why should others do this? It is fair to note the fact that treason is betrayal and disrespect. Moreover, disrespect from the most loved and close person to you. But did the person who betrayed you so much, worthy to be loved? For most people, the answer will be negative. Well, in this case, the question suggests itself: “Why forgive such a person and continue to live with him?”

Because relations will no longer be as before. Yes, there were cases when, even after treason, relations in the pair remained the same, there are even cases when treason improves relationship. But this is an exception, not a rule. The reality is that after betrayal and forgiveness, life with a partner becomes unbearable, because there is a distrust, a constant desire to control a partner and check it, and reproaches do not disappear anywhere, because the pain from treason cannot be eliminated only by forgiveness.

In no case should you forgive treason , If the partner blames you with what has happened. For example, “changed/changed because you devote little time to me”, “because I don’t like our sex”, etc. Any such reason should cause your partner a desire to talk to you, figure it out and decide how The situation can be corrected, not a desire to change.

Why is it worth forgiving treason?

But, as already mentioned earlier, there are those who believe that treason is possible, and sometimes it needs to be forgiven. These are the reasons for this are distinguished by specialists and people who adhere to this opinion:

You can forgive betrayal if you have a partner strongest feelings If you literally cannot live without him, lose yourself, the desire to live. In this case, specifically for you, this scenario will be more favorable.

Sometimes you should forgive treason for the sake of preserving the family. Most often, this applies to those cases when treason was single, in stupidity, as they often say because of the "hormones". If at the same time your partner sincerely repents in his act, admits that he did wrong, made conclusions and tries to establish a relationship, it makes sense to forgive treason.
If you are interested in continue relationships with the changer. Unfortunately, or fortunately, to date, a marriage of calculation, a partnership marriage is a completely unimportant thing. In this case, forgiving treason is quite simple, because, as a rule, partners do not feel any feelings to each other, but there is no hunting to change the usual way of life.
If you also cheated on your partner. In this case, it is difficult to make any claims regarding his fidelity to the partner, because you also have such a jamb. Having talked with your loved one frankly, you can turn this page of your life, forgive each other's insults and start building relationships first.

If initially between you and your partner was an agreement on free relations. That is, initially you gave each other good for intimate relationships on the side. In this case, even if after some time you began to experience love feelings for your partner, it makes no sense to make complaints about “treason”. And it is difficult to name a partner’s behavior in this case. Here you need to let go of the situation and talk with your loved one about changing the rules of family life.

Why forgave it, forgive the betrayal: reviews

Anna, 30 years: “Marriage with her husband was 10 years old, during which time two beautiful children managed to give birth. But a year ago I found out that he cheated on me, immediately put a point in this relationship. I understand that if there were feelings, he would not change me. I do not regret such a decision, because I do not want to live with the feeling that I had betrayed the most dear person, and there is no more trust in him. Well, I think it is stupid to keep marriage for the sake of children, he will always be a father for them, regardless of whether we live together or not "
Alexandra, 40: “My ex -husband and I lived together for 15 years, when I found out about treason, I thought I did not survive, but I decided to get divorced. At first it was very difficult, especially since we were tied up by children, and it was often necessary to see it, but after some time it became easier, and after 2 years a new man with whom I was still happy appeared in my life ”
Andrey 45 years old: “I never doubted the fidelity of my wife and believed in her betrayal until she herself admitted to me. I thought for a long time what to do, because together we were more than one year, and decided to forgive. At first it was difficult, periodically reproached her for treason, could not let her go the situation, but after a while the relationship was getting better. Of course, it is necessary to say that the wife made a lot of efforts to regain my feelings and trust, it probably saved our relationship. "
Igor, 34 years old: “I learned that the wife is cheating on 5 years of marriage. I did not dare to get divorced, since at that time 2 small children were brought up, forgave it, gave a second chance, which, by the way, very much asked. But six months later I learned about another betrayal. After this, I decided to divorce, which I do not regret now. The children, by the way, stayed with me, raising them with her new wife, who accepted the babies as their own, and the former and now, as far as I know, leads the same way of life ”

Each person has the concept of betrayal of different things, for someone this is sexual relations on the side, for someone even light flirting and love emoticons in correspondence. And the attitude to treason is also different, so forgiving the campaign “to the side” or not is your personality. In any case, it is worth remembering that there are no insoluble situations and there is no need to endure humiliation, insult and betrayal from a partner.

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