Should I give a second chance to a man, a husband after treason, a friend? When is it not necessary to give a second chance?

Each pair has its own reasons for breaking up, but one common factor unites them-in a relationship, someone did not receive warmth, affection or support. But often people have a desire to give a second chance, is it worth it?

Unable to achieve mutual understanding, the man and woman decide to disperse. Meanwhile, the official termination of relations does not mean at all that the connection between people is finally lost.

Why do we want to give a second chance?

• According to psychologists, The feeling of incompleteness of relations It arises when people, being together, did not fully understand what exactly they wanted to get from their union. This is the feeling incompleteness and lack of fire And it makes you think about whether the relationship is given to the relationship.
• Often emotional attachment to a loved one Does not disappear after parting with him. This is manifested in obsessive thoughts about the former lover, in the desire to take care of him and receive response from him. In the case when such feelings are mutual, maybe you should try to resume the previous connection.
• Sometimes I want to give relationships one more attempt, even if before they were not perfect. Longing for a former partner or just fear of loneliness forces us to return to the dilemma again and again: “Is it a second chance to give relationships?”
• There can be no single correct answer to this question. Each person has his own story, and he performs it in his own way.

To understand whether it is worth giving relationships a second chance, psychologists advise the following:

• Remember what your relations before parting, How valuable were they? Would you like to return them? But only real ones, and not those that you yourself came up with, or you hope. The decision on the second chance depends on how many positive points you will find in the past.
• Remember that in the previous union caused your discontent? Do not risk your emotional balance for the sake of the relationship that you considered dysfunctional.
• note On the moral principles of his partner regarding other people. A person cannot be bad only for others, but to make an exception for you. The moral basis of character always manifests itself. Therefore, his negative qualities will sooner or later affect you.
• It is much more correct to ask the question: “Is it a second chance?”, But the question: “Can we be together?” Think about this, given the fact that after parting people never remain the same.
• Quite often torment about what is it a second chance to give a person Hide the internal problems of the person himself. In fact, he is just too unsure of himself and does not want to admit that he cannot exist without his half. In this case, we are not talking about the problem of relations, but about the attitude to oneself.

• When a person does not trust himself, then he will not be able to trust anyone else. So if this is the case, then no second, and even the third chances, the situation will not be corrected.
• A person will be constantly absorbed in his own suffering. He will always blame his partner and will never think about whether he behaves correctly.
• Unions deserve special attention in which “repeated chances” are an integral part of the way of life. That is, one of the partners constantly allows itself unseen actions, And the other each time gives him another attempt and “forgives” him. There is nothing reprehensible in this fact.
• Everyone has the right to decide how to live. However, if you voluntarily choose relations with a person who drinks, cheat, parasite, Alfons, it is better to confess to this true. And do not outrage yourself with questions, to part or not. The eternal feeling of the need to solve something, leads to emotional depression and depression.
• Honestly admit to yourself that your spouse is like this, and for some reason you cannot leave him. Realizing this circumstance, think about how minimize the negative in relations And try to fill your existence with other joys. Master and develop other spheres of life, like communication with friends, sports, creativity, career, obtaining another education.

When to give a second chance to a man?

In many cases, reconciliation and renewal of relations justify itself and leads to a happy life together later.

You can give a second chance to a man if you:

• Discussed all the previous mistakes with the partner And they determined how you intend to act in order to avoid them in the future.
• They decided firmly spend all his life with this person And they are ready to forget about all their "spare" versions.
• You understand that a lot connects you with a man: children, joint business, events of past years or special relationships.
• We solved all the problems with a man, which caused the parting.
• Want the same future for your couple.
• Able to ask forgiveness for all past grievances, applied by you, even unintentional, as well as forgive a partner in response.
• We are ready to accept mutual responsibility for destroyed relations.
• You can show patience And give yourself a time for changes, as well as recognize the right to possible errors.
• But most importantly, give a former partner a second chance It is possible when you see real evidence that it has changed. Do not believe the promises that this will happen in the future. Demand actual confirmation today. For example, if the husband did not work, his employment will serve as evidence if he was abused by alcohol - contacting a specialized clinic, if he had a mistress - evidence of parting with her, if he could not provide a separate residence from relatives - renting an apartment.

• However, take into account that the changes accomplished are only a confirmation of intentions, but not a guarantee of a happy relationship in the future.
• And if the second chance does not justify your hopes, and You and the man will part finally, Do not regret such an attempt. Regard this step as an experience that will give you an understanding of your own true needs and what partner you need.

Is it a second chance to give a relationship?

One of the main values \u200b\u200bin life is the relationship of men and women in which they are comfortable both. Therefore, after parting, many decide on a second chance, wanting to change and trying to rebuild their relationship, making them more trusting and deep.

Having decided to give the relationship a second chance, it is very important to consider the following points:

• Second chance It is possible only when both partners realize that there will be no previous relationship. Having survived the bitterness and pain of mutual grievances, you enter into a completely new union. You both need you Change your established habits and stereotypes of behavior.
• You need to understand that all the insults will not leave at once, and conflicts will not be forgotten overnight. Relations must be restored gradually, having first survived the loss of the past.
• You must understand The true reasons why they parted with a partner. This will help to avoid mistakes in your new relationship. Ask yourself the question of what you did not manage to give your loved one, and what you did not wait for from him.
• The second chance can only be given if When each partner is aware of his responsibility for building personal happiness. It is necessary to openly talk to each other and talk about your desires and how you see your union in the future. At the same time, get distracted from the negative assessment of your ex and think that you can give a new relationship specifically you.

Why don't you need to give a second chance?

Having decided to give your couple another attempt, keep in mind that the resumption of relations justifies itself only in half of the cases. It is likely that the second chance may not bring positive results.

As a rule, this happens for the following reasons:

• One of the partners, and, possibly, both, they do not want to make concessions. Each of them bends its own line, not wanting to admit the correctness of another person.
• Man and woman they failed to find mutual understanding and determine the deep causes of which there was a gap.
• Some of the partners actually he does not want to change anything in his life.

If the second attempt did not justify your hopes, then the third, fourth chances will not lead to anything. This is a waste of time and nerves. Each subsequent chance only reduces trust in each other. And the more attempts you make, the higher the likelihood that your relationship, in the end, will be collapsed, and the gap will be much more painful.

When you can not give a second chance to a man: TOP-9 signs

Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish temporary difficulties in relations from the final break. And hoping for the best, the woman thinks to give a second chance to a man.

However, psychologists indicate several signs when you should not give a man a second chance and resume interrupted relations with him:

1. A man behaves unacceptably: Drinks, cheating, does not want to work or simply is not capable of serious relationships. Often a woman is ready to give such a person a chance only because she is afraid to be left alone. She is not confident in herself and doubts that she will ever meet another. So he forgives, cherishing the hope that the noble will change. However, you do not need to be deceived on this subject. You should not be with a person who is not worthy of you, only out of fear of loneliness. Moreover, temporary loneliness is an opportunity to understand yourself, your sensations and desires.

   

2. You just you really miss the past. Nostalgia about the past time is sometimes overcome all of us. And the human brain is arranged in such a way that, in order to avoid self -destruction, it concentrates its attention only on positive memories. However, if your former partner has not changed, then along with the good he will bring to your life and bad.
3. For the sake of their loved ones. Sometimes parents or friends exert psychological pressure, assuring that you can’t find the best man, rather than your ex, and you just don’t understand your own happiness. But in such issues it is necessary to listen only to your feelings. Only you should decide with whom to build relationships.
4. Passed Too less time for a man to change. Even if he assures that he understood and changed, do not rush to give him a second chance until you see real evidence.
5. From possessive feelings. When the thought that your ex can be found, and still be happier with her than with you, causes you painful suffering. And you agree to the resumption of torn relationships only so that it does not get to anyone. However, this path is false. Due to your own egoism and jealousy, you risk spoiling your life and not meet true love.
6. Out of pity. The man says that he will not be able to continue to live without you, or will do something bad with him. Perhaps he even resorts to blackmail. However, one cannot sacrifice your own life to anyone. Moreover, it is likely that your former partner simply manipulates you.
7. The man accuses only you of destroyed relationships. He completely shifts responsibility for the current situation on your shoulders. At the same time, he assures that everything can be established if you change. Run away from such a subject. With a person who does not recognize his mistakes and accuses other people in all, it is impossible to build a strong relationship.
8. In cases of domestic violence from a partner. Moreover, both physical and psychological. This can cost you and your loved ones and even life. Violence is a consequence of the character of a person. Even if a man swears that he “realized” everything, changes in this case are unlikely. Usually, to completely get rid of outbreaks of aggression for a person cannot do. This requires contacting specialists and long -term psychotherapy.
9. You have a partner Different plans for the future. If you pull each in your direction, eventually you will become strangers. Leave the hope that you can change an adult. It is better to part in a good way and build your life as you want.

Is it worth giving a second chance after treason?

• Probably, for all pairs, treason is the worst that can happen in a relationship. Inappropriation is perceived by people as betrayalwhich inflicts deep wounds. Some people are trying Wipe out bad memories And move on already without a partner. And others try to establish relationships, giving the "traitor" a second chance.
• Thinking about whether to give another chance to the wrong spouse, it is necessary to comprehend what happened. Is treason a impulsive impulse under the influence of any circumstances or is it a constant walking to the left? In the event that this happened once, then a partner can be forgiven. But if a man is a womanizer by nature, then you should think well.
• Of course, he may swear to you fidelity and even give passwords from his phone or pages on social networks. But the moral attitudes of people change extremely slowly, or even do not change at all.
• In general, psychologists are sure that Cheating is only the tip of the iceberg. And it is based on the problems of life together, accumulating for a long time. Typically, those partners who do not have enough sensations in marriage change: tenderness, passion, romance or novelty. Before you decide what to do next, are you ready to recognize the listed factors and start work on yourself?
• Keep in mind that after treason the time for partners flows differently. For the one who has changed, the act is perceived as an event of the past. But for the deceived spouse, the infidelity of a loved one and the pain from her remain in the present.

If you decide to give him a second chance after treason, then listen to the advice of psychologists who will help to establish relationships and further avoid such situations:

• At first after the news of the infidelity of the spouse refrain from communicating with him. Now both of you are overwhelmed by strong emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to calm down so as not to tell each other too much.
• Answer yourself honestly to the question can you completely forgive your partner who has changed you. After all, it is very difficult to truly forgive and forget about what happened. And not all people can give complete forgiveness.
• Try with your spouse again become friends. It is naive to believe that the relationship will return to the previous direction. So now you need to learn mutual trust and respect. Open each other new qualities that will allow you to create strong friendship.
• Do not relieve yourself of responsibility for what happened. This, of course, is not easy. Not every person is able to admit that it can also be to blame for the betrayal of a partner. But working on restoration of relations is necessary together.
• Do not be afraid to establish the rules. You need to determine the boundaries of the permitted person to restore your own psycho -emotional state. However, try not to sound like an ultimatum.
• Forget all the bad things that happened between you. Never recall your spouse about his mistake, do not reproach or make fun. You can not turn my husband’s betrayal into a lever of psychological pressure on him. So think about whether you are sure that you will never start to reproach him with what happened.
• Do not take a position impeccable sacrifice. Cheating is a signal that relations came to a discord in which both sides are to blame.
• Establishing a relationship try to spend more time with each other. It is desirable that you do not have the opportunity to find out who is right or to blame. So give preference to joint trips to the cinema, to exhibitions, to the theater.
• Mark your reconciliation Some good event, which will become a symbol of the beginning of a new relationship: go on a trip, play a wedding again, exchange gifts with a special meaning.

As a rule, having lost love and passing through a series of trials in order to find it again, a man and a woman begin to value and protect each other more. In addition, past experience teaches a couple to correctly evaluate conflicts and allow them with the least losses.

Should I give a second chance to a friend?

• Probably someone once offended each of us. It is doubly more painful if the offender was a close friend. Friendship gives a lot of warmth and light. And it becomes very bitter when it leaves for some reason.
• Sometimes a person who caused us trouble comes with a confession and asks give him a second chance. For forgive or not in this case is a difficult question. Some people believe that the one who betrayed once will betray again. Does it make sense to give a chance to communication that has exhausted itself? And is it possible to reanimate friendship?

Morality and religion teach us that we need to let offense and give people forgiveness. In addition, psychologists call several reasons to forgive people:

• Numerous studies have confirmed that a person who is forgiving resentment feels happier.
• Forgiveness gives us hope that in the case of our error, we will also be forgiven.
• Over the years, people can significantly change their own views and principles. And the one who once offended or failed you can now be a completely different person. Having given a second chance, you will give him the opportunity to demonstrate his positive changes.
• Decide whether to forgive a person and Is it necessary to give a second chance, It is necessary to listen to personal sensations. A key role in this issue is played by your worldview. Do not think about how society will respond to your decision. To you no need to adapt to the opinion of others. If one of your friends condemns you because of your position, then these people do not deserve your attention.
• Forgive the offender is your right, but not an obligation. From the point of view of psychologists, only what requires less emotional costs on your part. In other words, what is least nervous is true. So be guided by this principle, making a decision. You can be kind, but your forgiveness should be adequate and proportionate offended by you. And also, forgiving people, it is not necessary to return them to their lives.

If a person who has offended you is very dear to you, you can give him a second chance. But there is no need to hope too much that he will live up to your expectations.

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