In this article, we will talk why it is impossible to beat children even with the aim of raising, and we will also analyze how to punish the child otherwise.
Content
When children are punished physically, this carries certain consequences. Pressing children may be required sometimes, but only there are options that do not involve assault. Most parents who use this type of punishment indicate that they were also beaten in childhood and everything is fine. In fact, children cannot be beaten and there are several reasons for this. Let's talk about them.
Why the child does not obey: reasons, psychology
Psychologists have found that when children do not obey, there are reasons for this. These include:
- The child is fighting for self -affirmation
- He is trying to attract the attention of adults
- He wants to contradict
- He feels uncertainty
- Parents have inconsistent education
- Parents make too high demands on the baby
Each person considers himself unique, however, gradually this sensation passes. By the year, the child is already beginning to feel himself with a person with his own opinion and position. This is only adults believe that it is small and behave accordingly. From this, misunderstandings arise.
If the child is not enough attention from adults, then he can choose a way of drawing attention to disobedience. This, by the way, is a very good way to influence.
Another method of influence is to do the opposite. The reason for this behavior may be either a resentment or lack of attention of parents. Uncertainty in the child appears due to the fact that parents constantly pull him, or are annoyed even for insignificant occasions. So, a protective reaction is triggered and the child no longer perceives constant pulling from the mother and abstracts from this.
Why parents beat children: reasons
In fact, parental rigidity and education are incompatible things. Nothing good from upbringing will work. Parents often believe that an extra slap will be useful for education. Only they do not take into account that at the same time, children do not develop the best feelings - resentment, fears, hatred. Therefore, you can not beat children.
Along with this there are other reasons why this should not be done:
- Poor heredity. Often cruel children are brought up in the same way and for them this is the norm of behavior. They still have some grievances, which they then transfer to their children. As a rule, parents do not even think about other ways of education. This method is considered the most effective for them.
- Parents do not want to raise children. It is always difficult to raise children, and especially good people. You have to work on this constantly. With children, you need to constantly talk, play, teach. But parents are often not ready for this. Someone spends a lot of time at work, and someone just does not want to do anything. It is important to always explain to the child how to behave and how to.
- Illiteracy. Often, when the parent no longer knows how to explain to the child some points. And when his arguments run out, he is already beginning to use force. This suggests that parents do not know the basics of education and do not even try to recognize them. They simply cannot understand how to behave with an active child. And besides, he always needs more attention. In this case, it is important to understand, at least the basic principles of education, so as not to apply force in various situations.
- Little parents. When parents cannot assert themselves in the family or at work, they constantly have some problems, they begin to break into children. They feel power over them. Of course, the child is weak and defenseless.
- Mental disorders. There are parents who simply need punishment. It's like a medicine for them. This allows them to get moral satisfaction. Although, then they regret their actions. Such people are not healthy, they need professional help.
Why you can’t beat children: reasons
Many people have a question, why is it still impossible to beat children? First of all, it hurts and unpleasant. At the same time, other undesirable consequences may occur:
- The child will constantly wait for him to be punished. This can ultimately lead to the development of neurosis.
- Children with the problems of the nervous system may have difficulties in communicating with their peers. They will be more difficult to adapt to the team. In addition, in adulthood, such people also have difficulties, for example, with the creation of a family. Neurosis does not allow them to normally build a career, as well as to assert themselves.
- When parents beat children, the latter begin to think that power is more important. That is, if you are strong, then you are right. When children grow up, they actively use this rule. At the same time, in this way they try to increase very low self -esteem.
- The child may have delays in development, which, again, are the result of a neurosis. For example, problems of an emotional plan, mental or speech.
- Children are distinguished by multiple attention, they do not remember the information well and their thought process is somewhat difficult.
- With a high degree of probability, their children will also beat their children. Again, they will consider such methods of educating the norm.
- Regular cruelty makes the child fearful and anxious. Because of this, he closes in himself and it is difficult for him to find a common language with other people.
- It is always important to remember the Law of Boomerang. When you raise a hand to your child, think that he will become an adult, and you will not be so strong. He is unlikely to help his parents, or maybe he will also create problems.
From such parents, children go nowhere. They can live in basements, contact a bad company, drink and smoke. They all do this only because not to be subjected to violence. There are even such situations when children decided on suicide.
How to punish a child if you can’t beat him?
You can’t beat the child - this rule is always important to remember. Instead of punishing it better, use the following tips:
- Ask the child what he wants to do and what his dreams he has. Try to do an interesting activity with him, read a book or just have fun
- Every baby wants him to be given attention, care and affection. Press it to you, kiss him once again. Let him feel your love. Spend at least a couple of hours a day with him, despite the clock and slowly in your business
- If the child is guilty, then it can be punished with a ban on entertainment. For example, forbid you to watch your favorite cartoon, deprive his walk. He must understand that when he was guilty, he is waiting for a punishment
Even if no ways of exposure work, you still should not raise your hand on it.
Video: Why can't you beat children? Self -control of parents and physical punishment
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