What if a teenager’s child began to steal? How to wean a child to steal: a psychologist, reviews

In this article, we will talk why children steal, what are the reasons for this behavior and how to deal with them.

Content

The topic of children's theft is relevant not only in dysfunctional families. Brought up children can also steal, even when the family is more than provided. The difference between them all are the reasons that have been distinguished by such an act. Regardless of the situation, it is important to recognize the problem in time and respond to it, in particular, to wean the child from theft. At the same time, you need to do it right.

What if a teenager’s child began to steal?

Each parent is always in shock when the child steals. That's just not always the situation is really terrible. Most importantly, not to let everything on its own, because it is in childhood that the basis of morality is laid for the future. It is much more difficult to cope with advanced cases when the child stole repeatedly. But after the first theft, it is enough to correctly explain to the child why it is impossible to steal.

When parents become aware of the theft of the child, they experience a storm of emotions - they are angry, indignant, or maybe even in rage. The main thing is to prevent them from capturing themselves completely and wait for the first wave of anger to pass. If parents decide on a serious conversation, then you need to do this calmly and without hysteria. It is enough for the child to make it clear that you are upset. It is not necessary to intimidate, because the main task is that the child understands the stupidity of his act.

You should talk in private so that no one else listens to the conversation, and even more so does not climb with its moralizing. In addition, goodwill should always be present. When the conversation is calm and the parent helps the child find a way out, this is the best solution to the problem.

You can’t say that the child will grow up with a thief and frighten him with a prison. There will be no benefit from comparing the child with others. Because of this, he will not be ashamed. In no case should the child be judged, especially if his fault is not too obvious and there are doubts about the reasons why he generally went to such an act.

If the child stole money from his parents, then it will be useful for him to find out why the funds were intended for. To show what damage was done - refuse to buy sweets for a couple of weeks, for example, until a sufficient amount is collected.

After analyzing the situation, never return to her. If each time to reproach the child, then this will not benefit him. As a rule, children make theft from despair. This suggests that now they need increased attention. The behavior of the teenager in the future depends on how exactly the adult behaves.

The child steals toys in kindergarten, what to do?

It also happens that the child steals toys from the kindergarten. Parents in such cases are usually very worried and begin to think that everything is very bad. But in fact, this is often found and, as a rule, at least once every family has to face it.

You must understand that this situation is normal, because at a small age, children still do not know how to control their actions and desires. They have not yet formed a volitional component. Of course, the situation in any case requires attention and everyone should explain to the child that this should not be done.

When young children begin to take someone else's in demand, there are several reasons for this:

So behave in the family. If parents show the children that they themselves steal, then no conversations about the fact that someone else cannot be taken will not give the proper effect.
The child has no personal items. It happens that things are like a child, he will scatter them and his mother immediately removes them. It turns out that like all the child, but under the control of parents. Or he has a brother or sister with whom he has to share. From here it turns out that the concept of his and alien is blurred. Be sure to have some things that he will dispose of. Moreover, parents should not touch them at all. In addition, it is necessary to explain to the child that each of the house has its own.
Self -affirmation. If parents constantly compare the baby with someone and pull on this subject, then he will try to assert himself at the expense of theft.
Lack of attention. So that the child does not have a desire to steal, he cannot be given a reason for such behavior. Of course, there are other reasons why a child can go to theft, but they are detected directly when working with a psychologist.

In any case, you never need to swear for this. Each parent must explain to the child that it’s not good to take someone else's, and why. This should be spoken in a calm tone, and conducting dialogue is important.

If the adoptive child steals - what to do?

In foster families, it also happens that the child is stealing. However, this is not always theft. Adults can sometimes experience not only how the child did, but also have their own fears. For example, they are afraid that others will condemn them.

Experiences about the fact that the child steals because he is adoptive, really take place. That's just to blame the genes here. The fact is that the development of children is closely intertwined with the experience of prosperous attachment. That is, in this case, a child must develop a conscience. It is she who forms the fear of losing respect for loved ones and not even in punishment.

Many children who are raised in the family are already well understood by six to seven years, which is possible and impossible. At first they simply do not want to upset their parents. But they can only consciously act according to conscience only by the age of 12 or at about this time. It appears to the same age and control of their actions. This is due not only to the correctness of the development of the child himself, but also by his nervous system.

When the children lived in a dysfunctional family or an orphanage, then their conscience can develop a little later. It is more difficult for them to sympathize with others, because there was no such experience. The child has not yet had a relationship that he was dear to him, and therefore the value of things comes to the fore.

Every adoptive parent should understand that the child will need more time to learn how to behave correctly. And external control will not hurt. This applies to non -suspicion of the child, but to create conditions for the assimilation of new rules of life.

Moreover, if the child does not steal from mercantile, it is important to fight not with the problem, but the reason for its occurrence. It is necessary to show the child that you support him and are ready to solve his problems. Then, over time, he will no longer have to steal, because he will learn how to deal with difficulties differently.

If the child steals money at 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years old - what does this mean: reasons

To figure out how to act to parents and get rid of the situation where the child steals, you need to understand the reasons for this behavior. We have already examined them above for some children. But there are general ones that are most often found, we will talk about them now.

Hard restrictions or too much freedom. These are two extremes that can actually provoke theft. If from childhood the child is used to the fact that he is not forbidden to him, then he will take someone else's. At the same time, this will not be considered theft. As for too hard control, the child will steal as a rebellion. Hard boundaries sooner or later lead to the fact that the child cannot resist the temptations and takes what parents prohibit.
Attitude to material values. If material values \u200b\u200bare not respected in the family, then this is also reflected in children. For example, you can’t immediately run and buy a new phone if the third gadget was already broken this month. The same applies to broken toys or simply “throwing” with money. With this behavior of parents, the child then ceases to appreciate the material and it means nothing to him.
Boring. It also happens that the child steals simply from boredom, because he wanted a thrill. When children always have something to do, they do not think about stealing.
Self -affirmation. Teenagers often steal to show everyone how “cool” they are. So that this does not exist, the child should have other ways to stand out. In addition, he must appreciate himself and understand that the steepness is not evaluated by rash acts. Each teenager needs his own position, vaccinated by a family so that no one can take him “weakly”. In addition, each parent should talk a lot with him and explain that we need to say no in time.

How to wean a child to steal: a psychologist's advice

When the child steals, then for parents it is always shock. In this situation, they must behave correctly and not aggravate the situation.

Psychologists to resolve this issue, as well as its warnings, advise the following:

Engage in education. The concept that there are other people's things, each parent must lay in a child since childhood. In addition, he must understand that someone else's must be respected. Well, trusting relationships will help the child trust you, even if he did something bad. He should not be afraid, but to understand that parents will always help to cope with problems.
Allocate money for pocket expenses. It doesn’t matter what the amount will be, albeit the smallest, but from childhood the child should learn to understand the value of money and handle it.
Start with yourself. Parents are obliged to give children an example and should not be the fact that the child will be reproached for them during the next conversation that they themselves do this.
Calm. Even if the child argues and snaps, do not scream at him. In any case, he is scared, and such behavior is a protective reaction. Always be calm. Threats and reproaches to achieve nothing will work.
You are also to blame for this. Understand this and make it clear to the child that you are ready to fix everything with him. Do not show how much you are upset, but better make it clear that you will not throw it alone.
No public. The problem does not need to be clarified in public, and also do not force to apologize for the crowd. This is humiliation for any person, and the child may be broken or angry. In addition, do not let others insult the child. Promise that you yourself will understand everything.
Find out the reasons. From why such an act was specifically committed, already determine the reaction, and also what assistance will be provided to the child.
Get rid of temptations. Never keep money or some things that are most interesting for a child. Ask the same to do the same.
Be sure to respond to any theft. If the child took candy from the store, then pay attention to this. It is not even what was taken, but the very fact of theft. When parents carelessly relate to this at a small age, more serious thefts can occur in the teenage.
No violence. Beating, threats and screams will not give anything good. The child will simply become embittered. He will steal simply in spite, because he is already branded.

If you have found the reason for the theft and corrected it, then do not allow anyone to reproach the child. And the parents themselves must refrain from this.

The child steals money: reviews

Often parents turn to forums when the child steals. A lot of tips are given by those who have already gone through this. We offer to get acquainted with several comments on parents who have coped with the problem.

Video: Children's lie and theft - School of Dr. Komarovsky

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