How to praise a child correctly: tips for the boy’s parents, girls

Recommendations of a psychologist for praise for children.

Content

Absolutely all people need encouragement and praise, regardless of age. However, many have difficulties with choosing words, and praise. This is especially true for raising young children. In this article we will tell you whether it is necessary and how to praise the child correctly.

Why can't you praise children?

Some psychologists, as well as developers of special training systems, argue that children do not need praise. One of them is Maria Montessori, who became the author of the sensational training system.

Why you can’t praise children:

She believes that it is enough for children to understand that the parent observes a specific action, while allowing the child to carry it out.
Accordingly, children do not need approval.You can’t say “well done”.
This is especially true for parents who do not know measures and even the first drawings of children are called a masterpiece. You can’t do this, because at school someone will say that this is not a picture at all, but a sweeping.

Why praise children?

Modern psychologists are still sure that none of the people is able to live without praise.

Why praise children:

Increasing the self -esteem of the child
Approval of the correctness of actions
The desire for development
The desire for ideal and improvement of skills
Instilling the necessary skills of routine work

How to praise a child correctly?

Many parents rush from extreme to extreme. Someone constantly praises children, considering a trifle to be the greatest achievement, someone does it very rarely, because in everything you need to know the measure. The fact is that children who are never praised are very difficult to evaluate their own actions.

How to praise a child correctly:

At the initial stage, when the child is still a preschooler and goes to kindergarten, he needs to indicate what is good, bad, stimulate his development, homework.
The child must understand that parents like some actions, something cannot be done. It is for these purposes that praise was invented.
Of course, you do not need to praise the child 100 times for the same achievement, especially if it concerns routine homework.
You do not need to praise your duties, or do it very restrained.

Recommendations on how to praise a child correctly

Below are recommendations on how to properly praise the child. There are several “impossible”, which should be followed when the child is praised:

In no case should you compare the child with someone,talk, that he is better. Try to avoid any comparisons at all.
In no case should you compare the children of the same family, that is, brother and sister, or brothers. This leads to competition, and makes hatred between children. In this case, they will be forced to fight for the attention and praise of the parent, become enemies of each other.
In no case should you simultaneously praise and criticize the child. Everything has its time. It is mandatory to praise the child with restraint, but at the next work, it is necessary to indicate errors. Moreover, it is best to do this in a soft form, without aggression.
In no case should you humiliate one of the acquaintances in time or indicate his mistakes. This leads to the fact that the child will feel better than others. This cannot be done in any case.

How to praise a child correctly: a psychologist's recommendations

The main task of praise is to teach the child to adequately evaluate his actions, to analyze their correctness. Mandatory praise not only the final result, but also the process itself.

How to properly praise the child, the recommendations of the psychologist:

For children, it’s quite normal today to get a good assessment, and tomorrow it’s a little too lazy. This is due to the instability of the nervous system and the psyche. Accordingly, it is necessary to praise the child not only for good grades and certain achievements, but also the process itself.
The kid should be sure that he acted correctly, no matter what the result will be. The main task of parents is to convey to the baby that he is moving in the right direction, and the final result is not the most important thing.
In no case, after certain achievements and good assessments, it is impossible to purchase toys to the child as an incentive. Otherwise, all his work will be reduced to a kind of expectation of payment.
That is, without buying a toy or pocket money, the child will not want to do anything. That is why the main task of the parents is to convey that there are certain responsibilities that must be fulfilled, they do not need praise. Of course, in no case should you be exclusively punishing the child and avoid praise, considering it unnecessary. Children are not prisoners, so in no case they cannot be constantly punished and indicated for errors, without subsequent praise for good achievements.

How to praise children of preschool children?

It’s easier to do with kids, that is, with preschool children. Praise in this case should be emotional, and reinforced with hugs and kisses.

How to praise children of preschool children:

That is, the child must understand what he does well, and praise should be associated with sincerity, joy and cause pleasant emotions. Thus, the next time, performing specific actions, the child will expect joyful emotions and praise.
This is quite normal, such manifestations of emotions stimulate the development of children, their desire for some work. Of course, it is very difficult to accustom a child to complex homework, so you need to start with a small one.
If the baby does not like to collect toys for himself, but with pleasure helps mom around the house, you need to include them in homework. That is, in this way the parent simply masks certain actions, stimulating their implementation.

How to praise a girl correctly?

Boys and girls have a very different psyche, so praise should differ. The girl, unlike the boy, must be educated with constant unconditional praise.

How to praise the girl correctly:

That is, it should sound something like this: you are my princess, you are the most beautiful, the best. Only in this case, the girl will grow with high self -esteem, will be sure that she is beautiful, regardless of the characteristics of appearance.
Even if the child is not very beautiful, with a full of figure, in no case should he reduce his self -esteem. In this case, the girl will grow with reduced self -esteem, there is a lot of troubles in adulthood.
The girl, on the contrary, does not need to say that you embroider very well, or observe cleanliness. It is best to say that she is well done, and the room is very clean. Praise the girl and indicate that she is a good mistress. The main differences are that the boys praise should be specific, for a certain action, and the girls are common.

How to praise boys correctly?

The situation with boys differs exactly the opposite, due to the characteristics of the psyche. Basically, the boys are connected with action. They think little and quickly carry out some actions. Accordingly, in the case of the boy, the praise should not be the child himself, but a specific action.

How to praise boys correctly:

For example: you are well done, because you could cope with the laces; I am very glad that you helped me convey heavy bags home, so real men do.
Or like this: you are much better to cope with your homework, you can see that you are growing up and growing.
Accordingly, boys do not need to praise “You are the best or well done”. Be sure to specify the praise in the case of your son, and indicate why you praise him.

How to praise a child, punish the child?

There are many questions regarding how to praise and punish the child. As indicated above, parents tend to intercept, or vice versa, excessively punish the child.

How to praise a child, to punish the child:

That is why you need to know the measure. It is necessary to punish the child, but in no case should you use physical strength, or loneliness for this. No need to put the child in a corner, punish him, it is necessary to try to associate the main action with the consequences.
For example, if you have broken a toy today, then this week you will not get goodies, or some rewards. The child must agree with this.
The main task of the parents is to instill in the child that a bad act will be associated with a specific consequence for which the baby himself is responsible. This is a kind of way to instill responsibility for your actions.
It is necessary to tell the child about the consequence of his wrong actions. That is, if you break toys now, then within a week you will not receive pocket money or encouragement in the form of a walk in the children's center, entertainment on the carousels.

Words to praise children

Rthe ebok should clearly understand that in the case of the action, he will be forced to be responsible for him. Thus, when the child does not want to do lessons, it is necessary to say that if he does not perform homework now, he will receive a deuce tomorrow, and later he will not be able to become an astronaut. Of course, such an explanation is very primitive, but only so that the parents understand how to point the child to a mistake, punish him. The current parents will agree that the punishment is simply necessary.

However, if you recall your childhood, and again feel the emotions that were experienced during the punishment, it is clear that we did not feel anything other than anger, disappointment and despair. Accordingly, the punishment was wrong. Therefore, there is no need to put the child in a corner, and even more so punish him with the use of gross physical strength, beat or whip with a belt. In addition to bitterness, anger, there will be no emotions. Another thing is if you can keep your promise and not give the baby a toy. Show that you will not acquire the long -awaited game to the baby if he treats his things like that. This instilles the baby with frugality and teach to know the price of money. Below, in the table the words praise children.

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