How to refuse, without refusing: the technique of polite refusal, methods

How to refuse, without refusing: the technique of polite refusal, methods

You need to be able to refuse without refusing - this will help to be calmer and more confident in yourself.

In the life of each person, a situation occurs when a friend, relative or colleague asks for something. However, there is simply no desire, no time, nor the opportunity to fulfill the request, but it is very difficult to refuse the interlocutor. In such situations, you need to be able to correctly and politely refuse, so that later communication with this person does not overshadow distrust and reproaches.

Read on our website another article on the topic: "How to politely refuse the employer to get a job?". You will learn about situations that may arise and how to solve them, and you will also find examples of phrases.

In order to develop the ability to competently refuse requests, first of all, to understand the causes of their own trouble -freeness, as well as analyze several important points. Read further.

The habit of saying yes: why is it bad to be trouble -free at work?

The habit of saying yes is bad
The habit of saying yes is bad

Rightness is a kind of illness. The generation of uncertainty, weakness, the absence of the correct life attitudes.

  • The roots of the disease called "reliability" originate from adolescence and childhood.
  • From childhood, many parents have taught their children to help around the house, and all kinds of help often occurs exclusively on a forced manner.
  • The child gets used to the fact that unpleasant work or suddenly falling up tasks should be done through "Don't want".
  • The same situation is observed in adolescence. In order to join the team or not to stand out, the teenager has to go to many victims, including their desires and interests in favor of those who have enlisted great authority or have more self -confidence.
  • Gradually, reliability goes into adulthood, making his way not only in communication with other people, but also to work.

Determine in yourself this terrible habit of saying only "Yes" Not so difficult. Like any psychological disease, "Harmfulness" There are specific features:

  • A sign of reliability can be the desire to fulfill the requests of people in the hope of placing them to themselves.
  • Inability to calculate your strength or intentional ignoring personal resources for the benefit of fulfilling the requests of others.
  • Systematic suppression of your own preferences and views for participation in events at someone’s request.
  • High and often impossible requirements for yourself
  • The motivation for the execution of requests/instructions is often the unwillingness to come into conflict with the requester.
  • Exposure of the feelings of other people to the detriment of their emotional comfort.

As can be seen from these signs, reliability is a generation of self -doubt, weakness, inability to correctly evaluate your strength and the strongest, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity, the desire to please everyone. Why is it bad to be trouble -free at work?

  • Rightness creates people extremely convenient for society. However, at the same time, the emotional, physical and mental comfort of a particular person is fading into the background. This is the biggest problem.
  • A person convenient for society is obviously unhappy. He has nothing his own, he is constantly under pressure and stress, accumulating inside himself a destructive mixture of discontent, resentment and guilt.
  • A long stay in such a state negatively affects not only psychological health, but also physical.

Weakness, fatigue, insomnia, weakening of immunity and illness that appear against this background - all this is far from a complete list of what can wait for a person suffering from long -term nervous tension.

Is it possible to abandon the proposed work, order: it is important to be able to refuse

You can refuse the proposed work
You can refuse the proposed work

It often happens that uncomfortable requests catch people at work. Replace a colleague due to some life circumstances, take additional work, finish for someone a project, go out on your weekend, postpone a vacation due to workload. In all areas of such situations, simply cannot be counted. And it seems to be good, because more work means more money, but in fact, such an advantage is very doubtful, because, where there is more work, there is a lot of load, stress, and therefore more time, which is necessary for high -quality recovery.

So is it possible to refuse the proposed work or order?

  • Yes, you can - it is important to be able to refuse.
  • Overcoming the feeling of guilt, fear of offending the interlocutor, anxiety about money and a further impression of the requester, you need to identify your position.
  • If the proposed work is a burden and does not fit into the plans, in principle it delivers discomfort, then it is better not to suffer and refuse.

Again, this is important precisely for a comfortable existence of a particular personality. Having taken the work, a person does not only doom himself to additional loads, but also for additional responsibility, stress, additional expectations from the asking one who can not always pay off money or gratitude.

For greater confidence in their own rightness, in this case, it is better to look at others and their attitude to requests and refusals. Indeed, there were probably situations when the currently being at the site of the petitioner refused the one whom he asks or someone else. Did he feel remorse? Was he afraid to offend or fail with his refusal? Did he suffer from the fact that he did not take over the excess? Hardly.

  • Therefore, you should never be afraid to hurt someone's feelings or betray someone's trust.
  • Still, everyone should deal with their problems.
  • The same logic should be guided by work.
  • If this is really not necessary, if there is a feeling that such work or additional load is not on the shoulder, then it is better not to suffer and just refuse.

Thus, it will be possible to save yourself and your peace without any problems. It is better to leave additional work to someone who really needs it and someone who is really ready to fulfill it without prejudice to himself.

What to do if there is no inspiration?

There is no inspiration
There is no inspiration

Very often a situation arises when there is work or a good order, but any attempts to fulfill it only pour into irritation or a very unsuccessful result of the work. The reasons for this incident lie precisely in the absence of inspiration or, as it is sometimes called, in a creative crisis. Sooner or later, this kind of “curse” comprehends every creative person. In some ways, it can even be called natural, but this does not mean in any case that you need to lower everything on the brakes.

The key signs of a creative crisis are:

  • Loss of faith in oneself and in their strengths, abilities and opportunities
  • Depressed and depressed condition
  • Lack of inspiration, desire to create new ideas
  • Endless discontent with the results of the work done
  • Unwillingness to continue creative activity

There are several effective ways to get out of the creative crisis. What to do if there is no inspiration?

  • Before making any decisions regarding the project and continuing to participate in it, you should try to rehabilitate yourself with the help of quick and affordable means and paths.
  • To begin with, you should try the most banal - relax. To continue your activity, you just need to have fun, switch your attention, get new impressions, just sleep.
  • Sometimes the routine presses so much that it is simply impossible to create. Therefore, for any creator, it is important to periodically arrange a decent rest.
  • Also, often in overcoming a creative crisis, they help to play sports, communicate with other writing people and occupying something not typical. I like to sit at home - you should get out of nature or in a crowded place.
  • You can try a new kitchen, a new restaurant, visit an interesting place, read a new book or re -read the old one.

There are simply a lot of options for obtaining new impressions that each person can try. If nevertheless it was not possible to overcome the creative crisis, then it is worth considering the option of refusing work or ordering. In the case of such an outcome, it is important very correctly, politely and accurately justify the reason for your refusal.

Of course, it will be extremely difficult to avoid dissatisfaction on the part of the interlocutor, but you should not be afraid to be afraid of someone. Still, it is better to honestly admit and entrust the work of those who can do it with dignity than to suffer, subsequently giving out a not very good result, for which it will ultimately be ashamed of everyone.

How to refuse correctly without refusing: the technique of polite refusal, methods

We learn to politely refuse
We learn to politely refuse

Read on our website another article on the topic: "How competently, culturally and politely refuse a person in the request, borrow money without offending him?". You will find words, phrases, dialogue.

As has already been considered above, the ability to refuse is a very important skill for everyone. However, to any person it is clear that it is very difficult to immediately start telling everyone "No", if before that a person has been actively "reliability". The inability to refuse to literally grew with a person and does not want to let go, responding with a strong feeling of guilt and discomfort. Therefore, it is very important to learn to refuse gradually, choosing a suitable model of behavior in the right situation. So, how to refuse correctly without refusing?

You can use such ways to say no "no" - this is the technique of polite refusal:

  • Not rush to the answer, first say no "

Before answering someone's request, it is worth maintaining a small pause or just say a solid “no”. You can also ask the interlocutor to repeat the request again, thereby receiving more time to make a decision.

  • Do not apologize too much

Repeated apologies for several times lose their meaning. You need to apologize only in the cases appropriate for this. With each said “sorry” the feeling of guilt before the requester intensifies almost exponentially.

  • Be concise

You need to refuse briefly, but do not forget about politeness.

  • "Mirror" the behavior of the interlocutor

In this case, it is worth mirroring the behavior and request of the interlocutor, ending with her polite refusal.

  • The technique of a hackneyed plate

It is also worth refusing to do anything to frequent repetitions of the request, ignoring the pressure from the requester.

  • Explain the reason for the refusal

If a simple “no” is not enough for refusal, then you can briefly outline the reasons why the interlocutor’s request cannot be fulfilled.

  • Offer to fulfill the request another time

The refusal here and now does not mean that the request cannot be fulfilled at another time.

  • Ask for additional information

This case is not a complete refusal, but the opportunity to discuss the current situation with the interlocutor in order to find a decision convenient for both sides or finally refuse.

  • Ask time to make a decision

It is important to appreciate your own time and strength, so you need to demand time to weigh all the pros and cons.

How to answer the refusal of cooperation politely?

We answer the refusal of cooperation politely
We answer the refusal of cooperation politely

It is very important even in the refusal to remain a cultural and polite person, unless, of course, it is planned to completely turn off the request from himself. A polite refusal of a request is normal and natural behavior. Not all requests of people are subject to immediate satisfaction. Therefore, refusing, a person does nothing wrong or illegal.

For a polite refusal, you can act according to this algorithm:

  • Carefully listen to the interlocutor. Thus, indifference to the problem of the requester and his person will be demonstrated.
  • Ask for time to think if in this situation there is no way to competently and carefully formulate arguments.
  • Evaluate all the pros and cons of cooperation with the requester. If a person does not fit according to some criteria, then it is better to immediately refuse cooperation, not afraid to hurt someone's feelings.
  • To inform the requester about the refusal by giving out specific reasons for the refusal.
  • To complete the negotiations with gratitude and, possibly, a polite remark about how sorry that this person is not suitable in this project.
  • If necessary, to maintain good relations with the requester, and leave the opportunity to involve him in cooperation in any other project, it is worth hinting that his help may come in handy a little later.

How to answer the refusal of cooperation politely?

  • Following this algorithm, most likely, it will be possible not to offend a person with a refusal, but at the same time to remain with his own.
  • The requester with the lowest probability will arise a feeling of resentment and anger, since his request was listened, considered and sensibly appreciated. Well, the refusal, most likely, simply will be drunk on the will. Can answer: "OK, no problem".
  • Plus, the reasoned refusal will probably help the asking, forcing him to reconsider his behavior and finalize the identified gaps.

In conclusion, it is worth saying that there is really nothing wrong with the refusal, since troublesome makes a person neglect his own interests, desires, time and means in favor of another. Rightness leads to self -destruction, which, in turn, gives rise to many other problems. Take care of yourself and your health!

Video: How to say no?

Video: How to learn to say no? How to refuse without a feeling of guilt?

Video: How to learn to say no?

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