Jokes about bosses, humor, jokes in pictures, verses: selection

Read the funniest jokes about the boss in this article. A large selection will help to learn a lot of new jokes.

Content

The theme of relations between the boss and the subordinates is very popular and has been beaten more than once in various fields of art, for example, cinema and humor. Jokes were no exception.

Read on our website another article on the topic: "Fun about alcohol". You will find quotes, jokes about funny drunks with photos and videos.

This article will make a selection of the most popular and funny jokes about bosses. Read further.

What is the funniest joke about the new boss: three envelopes, 3 letters

A fairly famous joke about how the boss leaves his place decides to make fun of his receiver. Here's what the funniest joke about three envelopes, 3 letters for the new boss:

The old boss leaves the place of work. A new one comes. The outgoing gives the newcomer three envelopes and says:

- This is for you. When it becomes hard, open the first envelope. It will become worse - open the second. When it becomes bad at all, you will open the third.

The new boss hides envelopes in the table box. Two years later. The beginner does not cope and is on the verge of dismissal. Suddenly remembering the envelopes, he takes out the first and opens it. The envelope says: "Get everything to me." The boss comes to the meeting. Between the employees of the swearing and the scandal. The boss says:

- I am not guilty. This is because of the previous one. He left it all that way. Employees calm down.

A couple of years later. Everything is bad again. The boss begins to get nervous. He takes out and opens the second envelope. It says: "Conduct modernization." The boss goes to the meeting, and there is swearing. Boss:

- I tell you that. Everything created by the old boss needs to be updated - everything was getting over again.

Five years later. Everything collapsed. The suppressed boss reveals the last envelope and reads: "Well, now prepare three envelopes and wait for the receiver."

A very ironic and life story, which is not difficult to imagine in the modern world.

The funniest jokes about the work of the boss and subordinates, workers

Funny and ridiculous situations are a common occurrence for relations between people. Of course, subordinates and bosses are no exception. Here are some of the funniest jokes about the work of the boss and subordinates, workers:

Recently, scientists conducted a sociological survey to find out why subordinates and bosses do not like each other. It turned out that all because neither the first nor the second, I did not like to work.

The boss collects employees in his office. - Now I will tell a joke to check your sense of humor. - Let's. - From this day, I cut you a salary by 70%, cancel the entire weekend and increase the working day up to 10 hours. Everyone begins to laugh. - Now a joke.

- The boss said that this month we will receive a salary of vegetables. - What, right said so? - Yes, he said so, hell to you.

The boss enters the working workshop. - I forbade smoking during work! A drunk worker spits on the floor: - And we do not work.

“Chef, a man came there and says that he has two evidence that he is your relative.” “Is he an idiot?” - There is one more evidence.

There are a lot of jokes and memes about the work of subordinates and bosses, some are ridiculous, others are not very good. In any case, replicas and jokes from these stories, in real life it is better not to repeat. Especially if your boss does not have a sense of humor.

Humor: jokes about the secretary and boss

Among the many jokes about subordinates and bosses, stories and humor about the relations of bosses with secretaries are apart. This is especially true when this female worker. Here are jokes about the secretary and boss:

The secretary comes to an interview. - How many characters can you print in one minute? - 2000! - Fabulous! -Yes, but for some reason nonsense always turns out.

The secretary runs to the boss. - Your car was stolen! - Call the police quickly! Have you seen the faces of the hijackers? - No, but I managed to record the car number!

Two secretaries are sitting in a cafe. - Imagine, the day before yesterday my boss gave me an expensive necklace, yesterday a car, and today made an offer! - Here is a goat, I started saving!

Needless to say, secretaries are rarely deprived of male attention, including from their bosses. This means that the flow of jokes and jokes associated with this topic will never run out.

Anecdote about the chief of staff and anthill, ant

This is a short, ironic story about the missing head of the plant, with a happy ending. Here a joke about the chief of staff and anthill, ant:

The head of the plant disappeared. There is no day, no two. The workers gathered and decided to look for him. We went to the city, began to show people a photograph and ask, did you see, anyone? And so, they met one peasant who identified the missing one, and so, they say, sits in the forest. Employees go to the forest and find their boss, who sits on the hemp, and strates on the anthill. Naturally, they run up and begin to fill up with questions. The boss raises surprised eyes and says in a half -whisper:

- I don't understand anything! No one yells, does not swear, does not finish, and they work! And they work well, your mother!

Of course, this ironic story has been invented and this is difficult to imagine in reality. But, the moral of the joke is clear.

Anecdote "handed over" about the boss

Here is another joke on the topic of relations between bosses with secretaries. Pretty old and vulgar. Here anecdote "handed over" about the boss:

The boss calls the secretary: - Urgently go to the office, I got a question here! - I can't, I have a monthly report! The boss puts the phone. After some time, the secretary enters the office of the boss: - Maybe orally or retroactively? - Thank you, no, I screamed by hand!

In general, vulgar jokes about secretaries and bosses are a common occurrence. It is much more difficult to find decent. Such a specific topic!

A joke about the turner and the boss

In contrast to the relations of bosses with secretaries, there are jokes about bosses and turners. There is no vulgarity here, everything is tough and truthful. Here a joke about the turner and the boss:

The turner sits and wipes the key, with a rag. The boss is suitable:

“What the hell are you already going home?” Work another three hours!
- Well, for now I’ll pull the key, while I’ll remove the machine, and then wash my hands, with soap, change clothes ... just three hours will pass.
- So wrong! I’m at the end of the working day, I’m going quickly and leave!
- Well, why are you going to get together? The mouth slammed and went!

Here is such a harsh, working, life humor.

A joke about the boss's birthday

Another famous joke about the boss, in which there was also no secretary - about his Birthday:

The boss wakes up in the morning, on his birthday. He is joyful in the shower, then into the kitchen, singing some funny song under his breath and wondering all the time what his wife and children will be given to him. However, neither his wife with children, nor even worse, gifts are nowhere. The mood began to deteriorate. - How so? - He thought - Really forgot?

He went to work in a depressed mood, preparing on the road the script of the Pluts, which he will suit his subordinates. Well, what, a person endowed with power has the right to recoup for a spoiled holiday, on other people. However, as soon as the boss entered the office and go to his office, like on the way, like a basket - Koroviev, a secretary of Yulechka arose.

- Good morning and happy birthday, chef! - the girl said in a languid voice, holding out a small cake to the boss. The mood of the birthday man improved dramatically.

Somewhere closer to noon, knocked on the door.

- Come in, - the boss said and Yulechka entered the office.
- Chef, maybe we will have lunch together? - Offered the secretary, in a gentle voice.
“A good idea,” the boss agreed, obviously counting on something more than a simple dinner.

And they went to the restaurant. Four Martini later, in a restaurant, Yulechka made a second offer to the boss, this time to go to her home, since things at work were over, and he still has a holiday. The proposal was accepted.

When they arrived, Yulechka put the boss on the sofa and retired, whispering that she would change into something more convenient. As soon as the secretary left the room, the boss jumped up from the couch and began to frantically take off his clothes. Undering to the goal, he sat on the sofa and began to wait for the return of Yulechka.

Ten minutes later, the door swung open and the long -awaited Yulechka entered, holding a huge cake in his hands, and followed, a whole procession proceeded into the room, which included: a wife with children, mother -in -law, parents, friends, colleagues and a bunch of unfamiliar people.

Here is such an instructive story that you should never rush with conclusions and commit rash acts.

A joke about the stupid, evil, shit of the boss

It sounds surprising, but the bosses are also people. And like other people, they are sometimes angry. Yes, there is not enough pleasant in the evil bosses, but what a reason for humor. Here jokes about the stupid, shit of the boss:

Two secretaries talk. “What are you doing after the boss gives you up?” - I cook coffee! - Wow, I could not. - So, but what to do, you can’t do not care right in the face, it will fire it!

The boss scolds the subordinate: - Again you are late for work, how much can you? - And you don't pay a salary! - You will receive your salary! - Well, I came to work!

The boss yells at the employee: - What do you think that I'm a moron? - I don’t know yet, I just got settled today.

Few people will like it, and all the more they will want to work under the leadership of the evil boss. However, even in such situations there is a place of ridiculous and funny situations. A good indicator that you need to look for positive in everything.

Anecdote about the son of the head of the hydrometeorological center

Some of the most popular humorous topics are children of bosses and constant mistakes of the hydrometeorological center. Why not combine these two topics? Here anecdote about the son of the head of the hydrometeorological center:

The son of the head of the hydrometeorological center 40, most likely 25, feels 19. At times - a daughter.

Until the hydrometeorological center ceases to make mistakes with forecasts, and their bosses will have children, the hybrid of these two topics will be relevant. So, even more jokes and fun.

Anecdote about the Monkey of the Head

The bosses are different, some kind, others evil, some smart, and having received a reprimand from others, you begin to think about whether he is not a monkey? Here jokes about the monkey of the boss:

The employee flirt with the secretary. The boss comes in. The employee instantly takes on a business look: - So, you listen, what am I telling you? The secretary, not noticing the entered boss: - Yes, you said how you will cram the face of this old monkey, and then you and I will fly away to the Maldives.

Somehow scientists wanted to compare the monkey with the boss. They put them in different rooms, with a tree on which a banana hangs. The monkey went to the tree and shocked it. The banana did not fall. Then she took a stick lying in the corner and shot down a banana. Scientists enter the head of the boss, and he shakes the tree. An hour shakes, two shakes. Tired of the scientists to wait for this to end, they say:-Well, you may come up with something else, well, there, for example, a stick lies in the corner. The boss reddened with anger: - What the fuck is the stick? Well, everything shut up and quickly shake the tree!

As they say, one cannot be smarter than the boss, even if he permits. But the boss can and even need to be smarter than a monkey. The opposite situation is able to give rise to not only new jokes, but also troubles, for sure.

Anecdote about the head of the transport workshop

Head of the transport workshop from the joke

A short but capacious joke on the subject of the authorities of transport workshops:

On the door of the transport workshop there is an announcement: “Dear comrades! From this day, the use of non -normative vocabulary is strictly prohibited in the workshop! For violation of a fine of 500 rubles. Below it is attributed to "I will fuck, the boss ...".

Raised and cultural people are found everywhere, including among bosses. Apparently, transport workshops are no exception.

Jokes about shift chiefs

The shift superiors are not much different from other bosses and jokes about them no less:

The head of the shift of one of his subordinates on the street meets: - Well, how to understand this? After all, my wife just called me and said that you were taken to the hospital! - That's a fool, I asked me to call tomorrow!

The shift supervisor collects all employees: - You are aware that we have 40 people work for us, moreover! “And how will we find this superfluous?” - Pull the lot!

Call to the office: - Hello, do you need a shift chief? - Not! - Then fire him, why keep it!

- Please tell me how to find your shift supervisor? - He is having lunch! - And when will he return? - I don’t know, he did not come to work.

In one Russian company, an American was settled to work as an American shift. He collects all the employees and says: - I did not know that the Russians love to run in the morning, this is very commendable! - Udinated employees: - Why did you think so? - Well, so, so eagerly drinking water in the morning only those who are involved in the run!

Two new employees come to work. The shift supervisor looks at them and asks a question to one: - Drink? - I drink! - How much can you drink at a time? -I don’t know, it happens differently! - I see, you are dismissed! Suitable for the second: - Drink? - I drink! - How much at a time? - Three liters of vodka! - Well, well done, work out! The first is indignant: - How so, does he eat so much vodka, but will they leave me? The boss replies: - Because, you need to know your norm!

The new shift chief collects subordinates and tells the work plan for a week: - On Monday, we are all resting from the weekend. On Tuesday, we are preparing for work. Wednesday - we work. Thursday - we relax from work. Friday - preparing for the weekend. One of the workers gets up and asks: - So, I did not understand. Are we going to work on Wednesday now?

Employees learned to drink unnoticed by the shift supervisor so that there was no smell. Time passes. The shift chief collects everyone and says: - If you drink, then be kind to drink so that there is a smell. Better, visitors see that you are drunks than take for morons.

The phrase of the shift chief “I have an idea” is a sign of approaching a new, stupid work.

Ten years, I told my colleagues that the shift chief was a moron. And so, the time has come when I took this position. Now I can’t understand how the previous boss coped with this crowd of morons.

The shift supervisor appeals to the employees: - Stop contacting me "boss". I am extremely alien to this overseas serving! - Then how to contact you? “Well, I don’t know, somehow in Russian, for example,“ Father Native ”,“ You are our breadwinner ”.

Have you heard that our shift chief died? - Heard. I just don’t understand who else died? -Why did you get that someone else died? - Yes, it is written in the necrologist: "Together with the head of the shift, our best specialist died."

Here is such a small selection of jokes about the shift superiors.

Jokes in verses about the boss: a selection

In verses, jokes about the boss are even funnier. On the one hand, these are just verses, on the other, they can be told instead of a joke. Here is a small selection:

Jokes, jokes about the boss: the funniest in the pictures

Another interesting and original option for serving a joke about the boss is with the help of pictures. Here are the funniest jokes:

A similar topic is also popular because it is close to many people. In these small stories, any employee can find any features of his boss or even his own, why not? On a hard working day, when it is far from the weekend, and the mood is so -so, why not raise it with a good joke about the annoying boss? Read, remember and tell your friends and colleagues. Good luck!