Why does the husband manipulate divorce all the time? How to understand that the husband is manipulating: signs. My husband manipulates me - how to resist: a psychologist's advice

From this article you will find out what to do if the husband manipulates and how to understand this.

Manipulations in the family are always very difficult, because you always have to do the way the husband wants. In pairs, which have not yet officially registered their relationship, this is also found. Let's talk with you about how such manipulations appear and how to deal with them.

Why does the husband manipulate divorce all the time?

There are situations when the husband constantly manipulates divorce. Only now the matter does not reach him. Usually it manifests itself like this-the husband asks to do something or vice versa, not to do, otherwise he will leave. Usually such threats begin in the case when you can’t get it otherwise.

The reasons for this behavior are as follows:

• He does not always develop everything well in his career
• He himself makes decisions, for almost always they are stupid and unsuccessful
• He is often annoyed by the child, he makes him engage in adult business or moves away
• In any matter, he accepts only his own opinion and believes that he is right, and therefore defends him by force and emotional outbreaks

If all this is familiar to you, then do not pay attention. It is better to take him to a psychologist and explain that the reasons for this behavior are laid deep inside since childhood.

This can be affected by banal jealousy and presentation of treason. By the way, this happens most often and basically the reasons for harmless. Just do not rejoice, because there are other reasons when a man behaves like this. At the same time, he tries to conceal them with this method. Among them stand out:

• A lover appeared. When a man begins to suddenly threaten the departure, it means that the place where he will live.
• Sets up other family members against you. This behavior is called the "Mamenkin Son" syndrome. But he certainly will not go against his mother.
• The wife herself constantly provokes scandals and such a reaction - This is a banal protection. Indeed, it happens. Women themselves are often to blame for themselves that they are very pressed on a man with their jealousy, hysteria, and so on.
• Constant jealousy, distrust, irrational decisions that contradict the opinion of her husband. For example, when the wife considers herself the main one, he tries to make a “goat” from her husband, but he does not throw habits from an unmarried life. For example, he spends nights in clubs with friends or secretly with a friend, imposing anti -moral ideas.

As you know, the threat of divorce can come not only from the husband, but therefore, to begin with, pay attention to your own behavior.

How to understand that the husband is manipulating: signs

Usually, when the husband constantly manipulates, the same signs are manifested by which you can just understand that the manipulation began. It is important to know them in order to then learn how to resist them. For example, often men crush pity and pretend to be sick.

For example, he does not want you to go to a girlfriend and during a conversation in order to achieve what you want, he pretends to be sick. Well, can he refuse him? It immediately appears in thoughts that this is wrong. By the way, as soon as you stay at home, everything will go right away, because he achieved his own. Although, it is possible that he is really sick, so make sure this from the very beginning.

There are other possible signs that allow you to recognize the manipulation:

• Constant reproaches

Feeling guilt always moves people, especially sensitive. Most likely, if you do not do as he asks, then you will be shown why you are wrong and how much you are to blame. Although, as a noble prince, he may not blame you, but only hint. Be careful because female guilt can lead to many rash acts.

• He decides for you

Yes, you can make decisions yourself, but the manipulator thinks in a completely different way. When he begins to manipulate and suddenly becomes a psychic. This is expressed in such phrases as:

• I know that you love me
• You know that this is a lie!
• You read me sexy, I know that!

In fact, men do not know how to read thoughts. By the way, over time, a man begins to show such expense in everything. In this way, he makes you think how he should, and not you.

• Frequent recognition of love

If a man is too romantic, then he either wants something, or a fool. Each manipulator knows that women like to listen to how dear they are, even if they pretend that they do not need it. And so he says the cherished “I love you” and you are ready to go for him to the ends of the world, just to do it well.

Of course, it makes no sense to count how many times they told you about love. But ideally, the words of love are not constantly pronounced and usually the man should usually do something, not you.

• Compares with the former

Comparison can be both good or bad. In any case, you must think about the behavior of your man. If you are constantly compared, then they want to fit into some ideal. You will be either better or worse, and the result is one - you want to be loved and ready for anything.

• Collects things

And this is the last sign. Yes, today there are many men who collect things. Moreover, he does this even with small quarrels, accompanying the process with offensive phrases. His main task is to make you cry, and he, as a true man, will reassure you. Moreover, everything develops in the end as he needs. Such attacks become constant over time and it is worth thinking many times if it is worth stopping it at all?

My husband manipulates me - how to resist: a psychologist's advice

When the husband constantly manipulates, then over time it bothers and the question arises of how to resist him? In fact, this is quite real.

Here's what psychologists advise about this:

• Listen to your inner voice

In other words, include common sense. To understand that you are manipulated, it is enough to evaluate your condition after the conversation. If you are tired and bad for you, then you will definitely be manipulated. Find out what vulnerable places you have and become stronger.

Each person has his own weaknesses, for example, a conscience. Men quickly find this place and beat there. For example, you have excess weight, and your husband always focuses on it. So he manipulates. How to deal with this? There are two options - either lose weight, or accept yourself as it is or find another man who will love you like that. If you try to lose weight, and then your husband then finds again to catch on, then it is better to go according to the second scenario.

• Learn to refuse

Manipulators quickly get used to what they always agree with them. Without a twinge of conscience, they use this and live as they want. They believe that everything is allowed to them. Want to stop it? Then refuse him when you like something.

• The effect of the mirror

Experienced psychotherapists often use this way when they work with complex patients who refuse to change. Its meaning is to give a person to feel your sensations during his manipulations.

For example, your husband tells you that you do not love him, otherwise you would have done as he wants. In this case, guilt should play and you must do as he needs. Go the other way and tell me the answer that he really considers Tau? And then continue and ask one more question - maybe he does not love you! And look at the reaction. Usually manipulators are surprised at such a reaction and find nothing better than getting away from the topic.

• Make any decision thoughtfully

If you are controlled by emotions, then the best way to solve the problem is to take a break. So always ask for time to think about everything. In a couple of hours, you will definitely analyze the situation, and he will understand that he was at a time.

When the husband constantly manipulates, then life with him becomes not at all pleasant. You will have to constantly fight him to protect your values. In practice, it is very difficult to change the manipulator, it is easier for him to find another person so that he succumbs to him than to waste time to clarify the relationship. So decide for yourself whether it is worth living with such a person.

The husband manipulates in silence - what to do?

When the husband constantly manipulates in silence, it becomes more complicated, because no conversations help and he will be silent until he should be as it should.

By the way, most often, because of this, reconciliation is delayed. What to do if your husband and your husband are not talking for a long time, we talked in the article - "What to do if we had a fight with my husband and do not talk for a long time?".

This usually happens when a man has nothing to say and he tries to bring you to emotions. Well, then he will already achieve his. Moreover, he can take this method for the words or actions said. What to do in this case? How to protect yourself from manipulation?

In this case, it is very difficult to somehow protect yourself, because there is no communication. Nevertheless, there are some tips that can help:

• Calmly tell the manipulator that nothing can be achieved in silence. After all, you can’t buy good relations for such gold. Even if he does not speak, he will understand the attitude more often and the manipulation will weaken.
• Answer the same. Also silent, but tell him that since he wants to be silent, then why not, suddenly what happens.
• If you need to talk urgently, then write a letter, SMS. Even the most stubborn silent will speak.
• Communicate as before. You have forgiven everything and went to meet. Pretend that your relationship is peaceful and calm.

Usually manipulators in such cases lose their balance. Of course, he will not speak immediately, but much faster.

The husband manipulates money - what to do?

It happens that the husband constantly manipulates with money. The reproaches are heard from him that a lot is spent, the purchases are unnecessary. The accusations can be called a huge number. And now the woman gradually begins to hardly save, but quarrels do not stop, but only intensify.

Or here's another situation. Wife needs a jacket by winter, and her husband suddenly wanted a new spinning. And here it is manipulation in the entire region - the husband claims that he needs and applies all sorts of techniques. What is the reason here?

Leadership

Especially often manipulations are manifested when a woman is the main minister. The man tries to intercept leadership and splashes discontent. Manipulations are also manifested, because he wants something right now, but cannot afford. But you have money and it does not matter what you have postponed for.

• Manipulation

Reproaches are the best incentive to start doing something. If the husband manipulates, then he wants to have full power over you, and money is the best reason.

• Jealousy

Oddly enough, but manipulations can be associated with this. For example, you recently had a baby, and dad still cannot come to terms that all the attention from him switched to the baby. This is true egoism, but it manifests itself.

When the husband begins to actively manipulate money, do not rush to get divorced. You will always have time to do this, it is better to first try to save the situation:

• Learn to hold back and not give an answer. You must calmly and frankly talk to your husband about the distribution of fields. If you start making excuses, he will understand that he has achieved his own.
• Make a notebook to record all the expenses there. This is the best way to remove unnecessary quarrels from your life. You will all learn to lead your budget.
• Think about your own behavior since the reproaches began. You certainly did not bring it to yourself? Maybe you shifted all the problems to him? Talk seriously with your husband and remind him that both should solve the problems.
• Do not take care of yourself. Maybe you have so much mired in your homework and financial problems that you forgot about yourself. Take care of yourself, find a way to earn extra money.

In the end, if you yourself do not know how to solve the problem, then contact a psychologist.

Video: Manipulation in the family. Where do they come from and what to do? Psychology

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