What to do if everything is bad in the relationship? How to return past feelings and is it worth doing? Why do relations in the family spoil?

In the family, everything is not always smooth, and sometimes very bad. What to do with this? How to establish a relationship? Let's find out.

Relations are a complex process and in our modern world to live alone even easier than together, and then the three of us or even the four. Why are these difficulties needed? Why, so that everything was good at all, and then suddenly it became bad?

Simply speaking, then everyone is waiting for a good relationship. It can be financial benefits, moral or even physical. And despite the fact that there may be a person who is a whole “world” nearby - this can strain, lead to errors and even collapse. So what to do if suddenly everything became very bad?

Why are relations in the family deteriorated: reasons

In fact, there are a lot of reasons for the emergence of a crisis in the family, or just a couple. They are formal and real. Formal ones include the difference in characters, social status, and so on. But the reasons that come from personality characteristics are real.

These include:

• The egoism of the partner. He is not ready to give anything to the relationship and invest in them. He is used only to receive
• Lack of personal space in partners. Either one does not know how to give it, or does not know how to receive
• Lack of skills or desire to negotiate with each other
• The desire to do not like parents or vice versa. That is, relations are based on some stereotypes of one of the partners
• The openness of the couple, when every third can intervene in a relationship
• Features of character. Education plays a strong role or some kind of childhood injuries. They can interfere with the construction of relationships

As you can see, there are many reasons and you need to work with each. Remember that in a relationship it is not always sweet and therefore it is important to behave correctly. In addition, relations are being built for a very long time, but they can instantly collapse that you will not even notice yourself.

What leads to a deterioration in relations: how can you behave?

• Constant scandals

If the couple constantly swear, then this leads to the fact that all tender and good feelings disappear. Do not constantly argue and insist on your own. Learn to give in to each other, even if you are not quite right. Often it is useful. Perhaps you are really wrong, and if on the contrary, then the second half quickly realizes its mistakes.

• Who is the provocateur?

The initiative always implies not only pleasure, but also a certain share of responsibility. And it is very good if everything is divided in the relationship in half. But often only one acts as an initiator, and the second does not contradict him. It is difficult to come up with everything alone and a person gets tired quickly, and the second often hides his desires and opinions, because they still do not listen to him.

• In such a situation, it would be worth dividing the spheres of influence and allowing another one by what is familiar to you
• Make a list where tell us who would like to go and where
• Let me think a “slow” partner or vice versa try to quickly respond to “quick” so that he does not have time to burn out
• Any pair has certain resources, power and communications. As a result, someone needs less rights, but someone more. He wants to dispose of money, make plans and so that everything is the way he wants

For example, the husband offers to go to parents for the weekend. And here the wife understands that she will have to collect things for all children, cook, clean and work in the garden, and her husband will go fishing with friends. Agree, immediately all desire disappears.

There is no universal solution to such problems. In this case, a long work is required with a psychologist who will help to build a personal space. Everyone should have “its own territory” and for every desire should also have the opportunity to ensure mutually beneficial conditions.

• The composition of the family has changed

Often problems arise when the composition of the family changes. This may be the birth of a child, moving one of the members or death. However, in this case, a qualitative change is also assumed. For example, mom can no longer sit with her grandchildren. The husband fell ill and stopped helping around the house. The family is trying to digest these changes. Someone must take on responsibilities that are now not fulfilling to another.

You will have to rebuild in a new way, but for now you will have some problems. In this case, you just need to tolerate a little. Do everything possible so that your relationship gets better and enter the usual direction.

• Trust is lost

Confidence in the family can be violated for various reasons. It can be treason, betrayal, as well as other factors. They are an excellent reason for violation of trust in pairs. Remember that trust can be returned over time. But both should work on this. One must learn to trust again, and the second - to help him in this.

Trust is not restored immediately. First, try to entrust something small, and then you can already be more. At the very beginning of the relationship, we always want to trust a person completely, but if the second half does not justify the relationship, then it is possible that you were waiting for too much. Do not demand more than a person can give, and we are all people and prone to errors.

• Destroyed hopes

Joint plans, dreams, pink glasses - all this holds people together. Words about buying a new apartment, moving, a happy family sound very beautifully. And how bad it is when all hopes do not justify. This is usually due to several factors:

• You think that in a relationship you are for each other, but in fact everyone is responsible for themselves
• We are together forever, or maybe the relationship has outlived ourselves
• We have only values, but in fact everyone has their own priorities
• We will succeed, but why is such confidence? Just so from great love?

In other words, relationships can never be perfect and not everything happens as it should be. This is all a test for life. If you are very bad, if everything falls apart, then do not be afraid to go to therapy. It is better to let it go and not linger on the bad.

How to start to establish a relationship?

It is quite difficult to start building relationships, but first you should understand your feelings. Three simple questions will help this:

• What are you waiting for? Romance or what is more serious? If the second, then you should agree on some joint actions. You are adults and the ability to speak, and even together you have long, so act.
• If your home is very good, then gradually this will become a general salvation and solving all problems. Do so that at home it is always good. Every day and a little bit.
• You are ready to give and take? If something wants more to a greater extent, then it is not good and in the future will lead to big problems.

Regardless of the circumstances, any relationship can be restored, but only the price will be different.

For example, the alcoholic husband is not going to correct himself, and his wife, in order to maintain relations for two, is trying to do everything so as not to depend on him, and even to provide the noble, but also sacrifices himself. To get a loved one from different situations.

As a result, she will understand that the victims are too large and are not worth it. Moreover, the husband does not notice all this, and indeed does not take her as a person.

This is what all problems arise from this, because relationships die and become something like a tin can. In this case, it is better to admit your losses and try to leave, so as not to lose even more. If everything is not so bad, then you can try to save the relationship, but remember that both should do it, and not someone alone.

How to establish relationships in the family if everything is bad?

This is normal when a crisis comes in a relationship and when you overcome it, you will love each other more. Or completely move out. It all depends on you.

According to psychologists, crises should be more calm. This allows you to strengthen the relationship and make sure that the choice is made correctly. Each of you, when he wants a new one, must understand what he will lose.

To establish relationships with your beloved during the crisis, use simple rules.

• Live for yourself

Do not try to devote yourself to a man at this time. Pay attention to yourself. Think about what you want from life, take care of your career and think about your happiness.

So you can look at your relationship from the outside. And immediately it will become clear what exactly from them I want to get, and what should be fixed. Remember, the crisis is the best time to think about yourself.

• Do not find out the relationship

During the crisis, it is better not to sort things out. Of course, everything infuriates and annoys you, but he, too. If you succumb to provocations, then quarrels will arise from scratch, which will not bring anything good for a relationship.

If you want to discuss what you do not like in each other, then be sure to do it, but only without unnecessary emotions. Do not forget that he also has accumulated claims to you.

• Remember that you are different

Everyone perceives stressful situations in different ways. Men often close in themselves, and women are on the contrary. In bad times, it is better to speak out to a girlfriend or mother, and it is better for him to give time to digest everything. It is better to relax from each other in such a period and go on vacation, for example.

Agree that you will find out everything, but when you will be ready for this.