How does a modern man relate to a woman who earns more: possible problems in the family, a way out of the situation

A man is a family minister. But what if a woman brings funds to the family?

Content

The situation when a woman is the main breadwinner of the family is not uncommon in our time. This happens for various reasons: the husband has lost his job, he is lazy by nature or lost faith in himself.

How does a modern man relate to a woman who earns more?

This situation has long been encountered, but mainly such situations took shape in dysfunctional or incomplete families. Today, such a change of roles is observed more and more often in fairly prosperous relationships, and psychologists often associate this with the more social activity of a woman, her desire to make a career, while a man is more conservative and simply does not have time behind the rapid pace of female growth.

Jonah?

It happens that there is an agreement in the couple: a woman striving for career growth takes on providing a family in exchange for the fact that the husband, say, a person of a creative profession, settles at home and creates for pleasure (which brings except random earnings), Along the way, engaged in everyday life and children. But over time, friends, and sometimes relatives, begin to treat him not as a creative person, but as a housewife. Of course, he himself begins to feel like that - the failed loser.

A man in such a family where A woman earns more, loses confidence in his abilities, ceases to feel like the head of the family, since this place occupies the main mininger more and is more stronger, which, of course, hurts his pride, reduces his desire for action. After all, the leader’s place for representatives of the strong half is incredibly important.

To cope with his low self -esteem, it is necessary to level the balance of relationships. For example, in such an important component of family life as sex. If a man dominates bed, this partly restores balance in a relationship.

Infringed pride

The wife is actively moving along the service ladder. Gradually, she ceases to ask her husband money, which she often turned before: to tights, perfumes, and other little things. She begins to disappear at work, and sometimes she works in the evenings at home, and then she has no time to cook. Gradually, she independently buys a car that she needs to work, and the time comes when her salary begins to exceed her husband's salary.

The stereotypes that are formed in the subconscious of men assign him the role of the head, breadwinner, and the earner. It is they who lead to the fact that the pride of the man in the family is A woman earns more men, It turns out to be hurt. The finale of this situation may turn out to be deplorable: depression, a nervous breakdown, a real probability of sleeping, “filling” the insult.

An objective and sober analysis of the situation can be a much more successful scenario. A man must realize that the desire for self -realization is common to a woman to no less. Therefore, he should support his wife in her desire to grow, and such support will even bring a couple closer. It would be nice to concentrate on his work, which will not only distract from thoughts of “resentment”, but also with a high degree of probability will provide a chance in turn to move up the career ladder.

Feeling of fear

This feeling is akin to the first two. It all starts from childhood when the boy is forced to obey the mother. He likes custody and care, but at the same time he wants his mother to fulfill his whims, and not he should follow her poems. A man in his subconscious is afraid of success women who make more T.K. In the same subconscious, it often depreciates it in comparison with itself. Her successful career seems to depreciate the man himself, which is very touching his pride and pride. And then another aspect comes to the fore.

Competition

The man adheres to patriarchal views by nature. He must get a mammoth and bring it to the cave, and a woman - to make delicious food from this mammoth and serve it in a cave filled with relative coziness. Therefore, when a woman along with a man gets behind the wheel, clogs a nail or, oh god, begins to bring a mammoth to the cave, the strong floor perceives this precisely as an element of competition with him. Man, if a woman earns more, Argues from his point of view that a woman’s desire to earn more is more caused by envy of his dominant position.

In such a situation, only a frank conversation saves with an explanation of all the causes of discontent and mutual respect for the position of each of the couple.

Everything suits him

There are situations when a man, yielding to his wife in the amount of salary, feels comfortable. Even if this difference is not very significant and the wife invites his spouse to think about another position or work himself, since the money in the family is still not enough. But the man believes that the family does not die of hunger, and therefore, why strain?

This is the flip side of that very subconscious submission to a woman stretching from childhood. Often such men, never in essence adults, and as a partner they choose a woman who is confident in herself and is ready to become a leader in the family.

How does a modern man relate to a woman who earns more: problems arising in the family

When changing roles in the process of providing a family, both spouses can transfer such a transformation into an intimate life, which often leads to discord in this area.
The neglect of a woman reduces male self -esteem.
The man’s loss of the meaning of existence, the emergence of self -doubt, which can lead to hostility and even fierce.
If a man agreed to take on the role of a “housekeeper”, and a woman intensively controls him at the same time, the family also cannot be avoided, since the man will feel like a loser.

A woman earns more than a man: what to do?

Firstly, the man should accept the fact that his wife earns more, not as an insult, but as an objective reality. You should not listen to friends and acquaintances who consider it a “weakness”, since each family has its own situation. It is better to direct strength to overcome stereotypes, which cause a feeling of resentment.
Secondly, it is necessary to find the reason if suddenly a feeling of resentment or anger is still present. And then overcoming precisely the causes, and not the investigation, will already take place.
Thirdly, it is necessary to voice all the uncomfortable moments of your position. Perhaps they are easily eliminated.

Fourthly, it should be remembered that the main thing is in marriage-the emotional component, and whose material contribution to the well-being of the family is greater-this is a second time if the spouses really love each other.
And fifthly, do not move away from your spouse because of your grievances. Joint entertainment, travel, common interests and friends - all this will help maintain a good and warm atmosphere in the family.