With what words you can reassure, console a person: the advice of a psychologist. How to answer the words of comfort and reassurance?

What words can be reassured, console a loved one? What is better to say at such a moment, read in the article.

There is not a single person in the world whose life would only be bright and carefree. Problems at work and in love, unrealized ambitions, misunderstanding of society, uncertainty - all this leaves its mark. As a result, a person closes in himself and falls into despondency.

Read in another article on our website on the topic: "What to answer the words" Take care of yourself ": options". You will find out why you should not pronounce the phrase "take care of yourself."

Without a doubt, sometimes each of us wants to be alone with us. But for a long time, being in negative thoughts is not recommended. Long -term, systematic experiences can cause real depression, the consequences of which are quite sad. This article describes how to support, console a person in difficult times. Read further.

How to support a person, to calm in difficult times: a psychologist's advice

How to survive a difficult life stage? The support of relatives, friends and friends often helps. Of course, we are talking about moral aspects. It is very important for a frustrated and bewildered person to know that he is not alone, that there are always those who do not abandon and substitute their reliable shoulder. But not all people are able to honestly and openly talk to each other about problems. Inside some of us there are peculiar “blocks”. They do not allow to fully express what is in the soul.

In addition, a large number of people do not delve into the personal problems of their offspring - as a result of which, such personalities, growing up, do not understand what “support” is and how important it is to sometimes conduct a dialogue about hidden things. How to provide support correctly? How to support a person, calm down in difficult times? Below you will find the tips of a psychologist.

In fact, several important factors can be distinguished, from which help is made up in this case:

Empathy:

• The “victim” must understand that a loved one feels how hard he is and understands the whole essence of the problem.
• It is necessary to learn to perceive someone else's grief as own: “I understand that it’s not easy for you now”, “I am also very sorry that it happened”, “Don’t worry, I understand perfectly what you are now” etc.

The ability to listen:

• Often a frustrated person is enough just to tell about his spiritual pain, and it will immediately become easier for him.
• Of course, you should give the interlocutor the opportunity to tell what worries him.
• Information should be perceived adequately, without phlegmatism or unnecessary fun.
• You should be interested in interest and really try to delve into the essence of events.
• Sometimes you can give effective advice.
• And sometimes a person will calm down himself as soon as he expresses everything that has accumulated. It will not be superfluous to say a kind word. It must be sincere.

Physical plan concern:

• In addition to verbal comfort: “Don’t worry, you’ll all succeed still”, “Do not reproach yourself, everyone is mistaken”, “Don’t be upset, everything will be fine in your life”Actions are also important.
• A person can be hugged, drink tea, covered with a blanket, stroke on the head, etc. He will be very grateful to you.
• Often the victims of depression are also losing physical strength. They cannot take care of themselves in the household sense (let's say, prepare to eat or get out in the apartment). Helping them in this, you also contribute to their speedy recovery and correction of the situation.

Take the understanding:

• Phrases like: "What did you want? You yourself are to blame! ”,“ Of course, why guys are not paying attention to you! You are ugly " etc.
• In other words, when comforting, it is not necessary to give gross evaluation judgments and do not need to rebuke a person.
• After all, he is already worried about the best of times.
• It will be much better to set up his thoughts on a positive wave and inspire the confidence that everything will fall into place and a lot will improve in his life.

Be always nearby:

• This will make it possible to help a depressed person in difficult times.
• You should also ask if he needs anything. Of course, many suffering show “willpower” and say that they do not need anything. But this is not so.
• In fact, it is at such moments that we all feel vulnerability and defenselessness.

It is wonderful if there is someone who can take care of us and sincerely support.

Video: How to support a person best?

How to calm, console a person: what should not be done?

Let's talk about false support. Often (consciously or unconsciously) people try to support, but do it only worse. So, how to calm, console a person? What should not be done?

• As already mentioned earlier, one should not rush to the suffering with reproaches.
• So you only worsen his emotional state.
• Even if a person made a mistake, perhaps he already realizes and reproaches himself. No need to aggravate his experiences.

What should not be done yet?

• "Plug" the interlocutor - Emotions should find a way out. It will become easier for the suffering if he expresses all his insults and fears. Instead, many simply interrupt the emotions of the one who complains, with words like: “Get together, rag!”, “What did you dissolve Nyuni, like a girl?”, “Well, well stop crying!”, “How much can you whine?” etc. This should not be done. Since there will be no real help workers from such phrases.
• Devaluate suffering -Some people who listen to someone's experiences involuntarily squeeze something like: “Oh, think, a problem! Found because of what to worry! ". On the one hand, these things may really seem to the adviser an “empty sound”. But it is worth remembering - for someone who is worried, this is very important. That is why it is worth trying to enter his position and live events on his face. Only then will you feel this pain, resentment and annoyance.
• Confuse - Constantly licking with the suffering, you can aggravate the situation (as well as in the case when instead of support you scold it). You should not call the interlocutor “unhappy”, “poor” and communicate with him as with a child. Of course, he needs a good word. But it should be motivation, not pity.
• Search the guilty - Even if the suffering himself gained these problems, he will not be better from reproaches. It is much better to reflect on the situation and give him some effective tips on how to fix everything.
• Reduce the self -esteem of the suffering - “You are weak”, “you are useless”, “you are ugly”, “you are a loser” - such words can even “bury” a frustrated person into a hole from complexes. Even if a person is “not enough stars from the sky”, one should not again remind him of this.
• Pull the blanket - This category includes phrases like: “Do you have problems? Here I have. " Of course, no one says that the adviser has no difficulties in life. But at the moment, the problem of who has come to “cry” is dealing with. Therefore, comparisons are unacceptable.

The purity of thoughts and a good heart will help to support a person. You should be understanding and caring, for a while to abstract from selfishness and self -interest. Then everything will work out.

What words can be reassured, console a person?

It is important to find the right words at the time of support. What words can be reassured, console a person? Here are a few options:

• Do not worry everything will be fine.
• Do not worry so, you can still fix it. Do you want me to help you?
• Do not be upset, everyone is mistaken. Try the next time. You will definitely succeed.
• You are a very good person. I believe that all troubles are temporary. Your life will definitely get better, you will see.
• Never mind.
• Take a look at the problem from the other side. Perhaps even for the better, that everything happened that way. At least now you have experience. And better, together we will survive this unpleasant situation now, than you would have received a blow later.
• Don't be upset. As they say, if a woman leaves for another, it is still unknown which of you are lucky.
• Do not Kori yourself, in this situation you really did everything you could.
• Believe me, everything will be fine. I know it. Do not give up, but try again. I believe in you! You will achieve everything you want!

But some phrases should not be said. They are described below. Read further.

Video: How to support a loved one right when he has grief, stress, failure, difficulties in life?

Prohibiting words for comfort

During the comfort of a person, it is important to say the right words. Otherwise, you can only harm and make it worse. If you want to say something like those phrases that are described below, then it is better to keep silent. To teach at the moment it is wrong. Remember this so that some phrase inadvertently burst out. Here are prohibiting words for comfort:

• What was different, like a woman? Just think, the problem! I have happened to me a million times, and nothing is alive and healthy!
• What did you want? You yourself are to blame for what happened!
• It was predictable! You look at yourself! Are you really so naive that you thought that you will succeed?
• So I thought. Such a person like you, everything turns out "through one place."
• You are just a non -insignificance! How could even fail such an elementary task?
• That's right that it happened to you! You really are not good for anything!
• Just forget. Nothing really shines for you!
• Don't even try to try next time. You are a loser and that says it all!
• And I would have succeeded! You see, I'm cooler than you!

It is a shame to hear even a positive person, and the one who is depressed will be doubly unpleasant.

How to calm a person in hysteria?

The hysteria is an insidious phenomenon that can overtake a person everywhere: at home, at work, in transport, on the street. And even if the person considers himself emotionally persistent, there is no guarantee that there will not be the turning point that will break it and leads it out of balance. Of course, the result of the termination of hysteria is reassurance. But unlike a banal depressed state, a person in hysteria does not always react to beliefs and words. Emotions do not allow him to soberly look at life and the problem.

In fact, there is a difference in emotions. A person loses control of himself. The experiences overwhelm it so much that they require a momentary splash. Perhaps the victim of hysteria understands all the absurdity and absurdity of his position. But she cannot cope with her on her own.

By the way, this “surge” can be expressed not only in sobs, but also in unbridled laughter, strange gestures and even outbursts of aggression. Accordingly, sometimes hysteria can even be dangerous to others. In moments of nervous breakdowns, even in puny people, an unprecedented physical strength arises from nowhere. They can cripple others or even kill.

How to help a person? How to calm a person in hysteria? Here are some tips:

• It should be remembered that any hysteria has a reason. The support of loved ones is also important.
• If the hysterical does not respond to your words of support and comfort, you can call his relatives. One way or another, one cannot leave such a person alone.
• Start communication with him. Translate the dialogue to a positive wave.
• Try to inspire him “right”, optimistic thoughts.
• Show that you really understand and empathize.
• Evaluate the actions of the tantrum. What are they directed to? The first task in this case: prevent sad, tragic consequences. If the tantrum is aggressive, you should gain his trust and gently, tactfully dissuade from rash actions (for example, suicide or harm to someone).
• In the process of communication, you can try to call an ambulance (103). The main thing is to keep a person before the brigade arrives. If the reason for the hysteria is clear, you can try to calm a person with a kind word, the belief that his problems will be solved.
• However, tantrums brought to the extreme often do not listen to arguments. It is important to communicate in such a vein that the victim of hysteria understands that in front of her is not an enemy, but a friend and an adviser who does not want harm. It is difficult, but feasible.
• You should not express a response aggression in relation to hysteria, insult and humiliate it, make fun of, threaten, etc.
• Communicate good -naturedly, sincerely, trusting. Sooner or later, when the veil from the eyes begins to subside, the tantrum will begin to trust you. And he will slowly calm down.

Even such a little will help a person calm down.

The best methods of communication to reassure a person

Be sure to listen to a person’s complaints (if he begins to express them). Try to understand him and show with your appearance that you are really on his side. When tantrums see that they do not just “speak their teeth”, but share their problem - they subside a little.

Similar and support in the case of a friend, colleague, friend. First you should ask if help is needed. Perhaps a person just wants to run away to a remote place and cry there. Do not pursue him. He will return himself. If a person only cries and is silent, you can try to calm him verbally, give water or sedative, ask to tell what worries him.

By the way, many upset people do not so much need sedatives as friends and listeners. After all, often depression arises precisely from the fact that a person simply has no one to share experiences with. Negative emotions accumulate and as a result, break out in the form of uncontrolled hysteria. These are the best communication methods.

Advice: Do not teach! Better use phrases, like: "I understand you", "Do not worry, I want to help you" etc. If a person wants to cry and speak out to you - excellent. This is a sign that the tension will fall soon. After all, many hysteria do not last more than 5-7 minutes. You can hug and say that a person is dear to you, that you are not indifferent to his problems and that you are nearby - which means he can feel safe.

When a person calms down, you can analyze his problem and give real advice or even offer practical help in solving his issues.

How to answer the words of comfort and reassurance?

Of course, when someone supported and comforted you, it is always nice. You will want to adequately answer such kind words. You also need to do this right.  How to answer the words of comfort and reassurance? Here are the options:

• Thank you for your support and kind words! After communicating with you, it really became easier for me.
• Sorry, something I got pasted. But I am very glad that you reacted to my problems with understanding and listened to me.
• Thanks you're a real friend! I really appreciate your support! If there are so kind, responsive and understanding people around me, like you - I really have nothing to worry about.
• Thanks for the kind words. Do not worry, I'm much better.

You may want to say other words. Everyone who wants to help or respond to help will find the right words, especially if someone closely supports. If you are at a loss and do not know what to say, use tips from this article, and you will succeed. Good luck!

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