What actions of the fathers lead to the complexes of their sons and make them losers: 5 types of fathers

If your son is growing, then read the article, you should know what actions of the fathers will lead to the development of complexes from your son.

Content

Parents are real guides of their children in the world around them. The upbringing, worldview and psyche of the child depends on them. It is generally accepted that the girls are influenced by mom, and the boys are dad. The statement is controversial, because both parents influence the psyche of the child (of course, if both are), but it is simply impossible to deny the obvious interconnection of the “dad-son”.

Read on our website another article on the topic: "A child against a beloved man - conflicts" stepfather and stepson ". You will learn what to do to mom, how to avoid conflicts and establish relationships, how to live happily together.

From this article you will learn what actions of the fathers lead to complexes from their sons. We will tell you why, if the father does this, then the son grows up a loser. Read further.

The actions of fathers who lead to complexes from their sons: 5 types of fathers - 5 errors

The process of educating the son by the Father is difficult

It should be remembered that the process of education is difficult and responsible. Some fathers believe that their role in raising a child begins with a kindergarten, school or that later. In fact, the attitude of the future dad towards mom already affects an unborn child. He feels his mother’s mood, which can be both elevated and spoiled by daddy behavior. With the advent of the baby, dad should be shown as much attention as possible both as possible both as possible, and mom so that the atmosphere of love, understanding and comfort reign in the family.

With age, the influence of the father on the upbringing of his son becomes more specific. But many dads are so carried away that they do not notice when and where they crossed the line, thereby harming the child. Years of study allowed psychologists to distinguish the following types of behavior of fathers in relation to their sons.

An eternally displeased father

How to recognize?

It is common for this type to evaluate his son, his achievements and skills by some standards, which such a dad invented himself.
Such fathers do not see objective facts, because all the time they expect only the fulfillment or achievement of some actually invented tasks and peaks.
For example, for Papa-Sportsman, a pianist son or son-artist will always be “not like that”: it flies too much in the clouds, imagines too much, draws too much, etc., but it would be better not to push up 5, but 25 times.
Or, on the contrary, dad-historian will always be disappointed and discontent with a son, who instead of the library went to play football with the guys.
This behavior of the pope is fraught with the fact that the real achievements of the child remain unnoticed. In order not to do the boy, it is impossible to please dad.

How does the child react?

The sons of the "forever dissatisfied fathers" grow up with low self -esteem, uncertain in their abilities, non -self -state.
Perhaps manifestations of stubbornness and disobedience.
Some boys begin to specifically angry dad in order to seem to match the “bad”, since dad considers him like that.

What to do dad?

This type is considered the most difficult to correct.
Only a professional psychologist is able to determine the true reason for this behavior.
This can be a similar trauma from childhood, and dissatisfaction with marriage (marriage from the child), and rejection of the baby himself (doubt that his child).
It is best to help such a dad from the side. Sometimes in the literal sense of the word.
Make a video of a joint stay with your son and analyze it. This will help not only confirm the fact of the discontent of the pope, but also to pay attention to what specific situations this dissatisfaction is manifested.

The father-guide

How to recognize?

Simbiotics that do not feel the boundaries of other people at all.
They do not understand that their children are individual living people with their interests and desires.
This type of fathers lives, as it were, a single organism with its child, seeing its meaning in life in the happy future of the heir.
A distinctive feature is the use of the pronoun “I” instead of “I” and “He” (“We” played, “We” have slept, “We” can do something else).
During kindergarten and school conflicts, they consider it their duty to go and intercede for their son.

How reacts child?

Such a connection of the pope and son can lead to the fact that the child and in adulthood will look for and build such relationships, with a strong emotional connection. Well, if there is the same partner. In the opposite case, the boy will be disappointed. Psychologists also argue that guys with such education grow more prone to various addictions. Thus, they fill the spiritual void, which formed without a father.

What do dad?

It is best to share your boundaries.
Designate what you continue to do together, and what each of you is doing yourself now.
It is important that the child receives experience of communication and interconnection with others.
Dad is recommended to get carried away with something else, except for the upbringing of his son. Football, section, fishing are quite suitable.

The dictator father will bring up a loser

Dictator father

How to recognize?

Dictators, as practice shows, were also brought up by the same authoritarian fathers.
Such a dynasty of tough education.
Boys with such dads grow according to strict rules and under constant control.
It is significant that such authority is based exclusively at the older age and the impressive appearance of the father.
Dad is not trying to teach his son a true example of good behavior. He believes that he is a father, and that says it all.

How does the child react?

In adulthood, the children of such fathers, most often, do not know how to express their emotions, because since childhood they are under the despotic influence of the parent.
Psychologists say that this can lead to the development of psychosomatic problems.
Also, such children are deprived of flexible and creative thinking, which is why they will become a find for the employer who is looking for responsible, executive, pedantic workers, but not leaders and rebels.

What to do dad?

It is important to balance the relationship between the father and son. It is ideal that the parent orders to disable authoritarian behavior to himself.
Gradually, you can move on to joint games, where age, experience, conditions, conditions are not important for any (and preferably the child) can win.
It is even better to let the boy disgrace the boy in the game with dad (dad-loser).
For older children, an option is suitable where dad asks for help or explanation from his son, thereby demonstrating his importance and value.

Coater father

How to recognize?

The children of such fathers do absolutely everything they want, because everything is allowed to them.
Despite the constant remarks of outsiders (and there are usually a lot of them) that endure inconvenience due to this behavior, dad will always find an excuse for his child.
He is ready to write off everything on the features of development and personal character traits that should not be limited.
But do not forget that a full -fledged person at 3 years should know his own and other people's boundaries of behavior.

How does the child react?

The children of such fathers grow to rude and arrogant, because they never found out that there are the boundaries of other people, the norms and rules that they violate with their behavior.
They, like savages, will never become their own in a well -mannered society.
For them, the understanding and adoption of someone's resentment addressed to him is alien, because in childhood everything was wonderful.

What to do dad?

Firstly, common sense should prevail over feelings.
If it is completely difficult to become more strict and objectively, as if through the eyes of outsiders, to assess the situation, then a strict nanny will come to the rescue.
Let her do your son.
Naturally, you will forgive your child, but he must receive feedback about the deed and clearly distinguish what is good or bad.

Father is Noyanka

How to recognize?

Such a dad always perceives the child younger than he really is.
It is not surprising to see a three -year -old boy with a nipple in his mouth and with dad's hand.
Psychologists say that the reason for this behavior may be guilt for some kind of father’s act before his son.
Or in life there was an incident (protracted disease, accident), after which dad tries to excessively protect his child from any difficulties.
To start correcting such daddy behavior, you should find that very reason.

How does the child react?

The boy can grow capricious and selfish, because he was always required that which does not correspond to his real capabilities.
He will not be able to achieve his, even small goals, but will attract adults to achieve them.
This can manifest itself in the kindergarten (the inability to dress independently, wash and another), and in the subsequent adulthood (cooking, cleaning, earnings).

What to do dad?

It is best to study and understand what norms and requirements your child must meet according to his age.
If at 2 years the baby should be able to fold a pyramid from cubes, then it should be.
And no, he is not too small for this.
It is noted that with the advent of the second child, dads become simpler in terms of education, so you should think about another heir or heir.

There are no ideal fathers. But if you notice at least some of the above features (it is possible that of several types at once), then you have already taken the first step to your correction.

What actions of the fathers make sons losers: what should they do not do?

Such actions of fathers and such an attitude towards the child make sons losers

The son always takes an example from the dad - this is laid in genetics. Therefore, it is very important not to make mistakes in education, because of which your boy will not become a truly adult man. What actions of fathers make sons losers? What should dad do? Here are some tips:

Respect "by default", not merits

Dad should be an example for his son always and in everything. To do this, you should attach a lot of strength, because the boy will copy the majority of what the dad demonstrates. And if in childhood the father was an unconditional authority, then over the years, an adult son will analyze the behavior of his father meaningfully and sensibly. And it’s good if there is nothing to be disappointed. Remember that respect must be earned. No wonder they say that the father is not the one who conceived, but the one who raised.

Dad - "Big Child"

So that the boy does not grow as a henpecked, dad should not be them either. Children largely copy the model of parents' behavior. Therefore, the son runs the risk of growing as non -independent in relationships as the father. If the latter does not fulfill the duties of the head of the family and shifted them to the shoulders of a more powerful and active wife.

Dad should not be a leader in everything

In a family where dad is a leader always and in everything, the boy risks growing with a bunch of complexes and absolutely insecure. The child has to prove his significance in vain all the time, running into papino neglect and contempt. The boy simply never reaches my father's ideal. Therefore, a man should give in to the role of leadership, both his wife and son. For example, a wife should command a little, and a son can give a role to come up with a plan for leisure and rest for the whole family.

Fear is equal to respect

Unfortunately, this is exactly how many dads think when strict methods of education apply to their child: scream, punishment, physical impact. In fact, the mental of the boy at these moments is greatly crippled, and there is no question of any education of a “real man”.

Laska is not for fathers

For some reason, it is generally accepted that only girls need a manifestation of love and affection, that boys should be taken restrained and dry. Such a mistake will lead to the fact that the child will not feel loved, and having adopted the same model of behavior, will grow up with a cracker in relation to others.

Remember that the son, in the person of dad, is looking for a faithful and reliable friend for himself. Therefore, here are a few more important tips:

Let him ask questions. The sooner you understand that your son asks a lot of questions not with the aim of “getting you”, but exclusively out of interest, the faster you will begin to better understand each other.
Encourage independence. For some reason, many dads rejoice only the first independent actions of the baby, and then try to do everything for him, if only faster, cleaner, etc. So the child has no chance to make a mistake, which means to learn something. Do not be surprised later that the son has grown irresponsible and does not want to do anything.
Let me be greedy. Agree, it is almost impossible to meet an adult who can easily share his phone, car or even a dog with a stranger who needs it too. So why should the baby share his toys? For him, this is the same personal property that he has the right to not give anyone.
Respect children's secrets. It is impossible to grow up a child without secrets - part of his personal space. Dad should with understanding treats the secrets of his sons, do not shame. If the relationship between father and son is confidential, then the boy himself will devote to his older friend to his secrets.
Teach to say no "no". Many mistakes could have been avoided if people said more boldly. It is important from childhood to teach his son to defend his point of view, not to be shy to refuse. The child should always have freedom of choice.

All of the above tips will help to be closer to your son and grow a real man and man out of him. Do the work on the mistakes if you already realize that you were doing wrong with upbringing. Thanks to this, your child will grow not only a real person, but will also be a happy and positive personality. Good luck!