I annoy my husband - what to do: a psychologist's advice

How to behave to a woman if her husband is constantly dissatisfied and annoyed? What could be the reason for this behavior - read more in our article.

The romantic relationship between spouses is the dream of every woman, but in real life we \u200b\u200bare faced with daily family problems, starting with small household habits, ending with the difference in temperament and taste preferences. Having added financial issues to this, raising children, relations with parents, we get a rather complicated initial set from which it is proposed to create an “perfect marriage”. Therefore, it is better to immediately discard fantasies and understand that the basis of a durable union is a constant search for a compromise, patience and the ability to hear a partner.

What is irritation?

From the point of view of psychology, irritation is a person’s manifestation of an excessive reaction to objects or the phenomenon of the surrounding life. In fact, irritability is a sign of a psychological disorder. The reasons for such violations may be the following factors.

Fatigue

Here we are not talking about physical fatigue, which manifests itself in the depletion of the body, but about the psychological problem. Most often, the cause of psychological fatigue is routine - a family situation, professional environment, uniformity of life, daily responsibilities. All this leads to the loss of the joy of life and the fatigue of the psyche. A person finds an object of “irritation”, which uses as a means of “discharge”, draining all the accumulated negative on it. Unfortunately, often someone from a close environment becomes such an object.

Prohibitions and restrictions

Here, the irritation mechanism is built on certain rules that are established by the life situation. For example, the wife annoys her husband with what can afford not to work, while he should “work hard” day after day to provide her and children.

Mirrorism

A person annoys in that when communicating with him, character traits that are inherent in us are exposed, but we categorically do not like them. So in the family circle, a person allows himself unpleasant statements, aggression and intolerance, but he does not want to remain in this state and blames his own incontinence of loved ones.

Anxiety

The cause of constant irritation may be increased anxiety. In this case, people provoking this anxiety cause a persistent hostility - fussy, unreliable, picky, false, criticizing. When communicating with such people, you feel an increased threat that causes irritation.

What annoys a man in a woman?

Family relations often consist of many factors. The misunderstanding leading to a quarrel can occur at any time. This is a completely normal development of a conflict situation, if both partners understand the reason, and the couple makes every effort to resolve it, i.e. Takes steps towards each other.

But what to do if the spouse’s irritation becomes constant, love is replaced by indifference, and the essence of the claims is not clear and cannot be expressed?

Women are by nature more emotional and often splash out the slightest discontent to a man. Husbands, as a rule, are more restrained, negative emotions are accumulating for a long time, hiding behind silence and indifference, but the yield of irritation can be extremely dangerous to the limit.

If we are not talking about cooling feelings due to betrayal, and the husband continues to feel attachment to his second half, the cause of constant irritation of a man can be hidden in the behavior of his wife.

Infantility

• A woman in marriage perceives her husband as a patron, does not want to take any issues on herself, does not recognize responsibility in critical situations.
• It shows excessive attachment, more appropriate to say adherence, asks her husband to accompany her when making purchases, choosing clothes, constantly asks for advice and is waiting for a complete inclusion of a man in the process of solving problems.
• “Eternal girl” is, of course, cute, and at first a man can even like this behavior of his wife, but after time, especially after the birth of a child, a woman should learn to be a wife, i.e. Understand that the responsibility for solving household issues, home comfort and emotional background depend on it.

Constant control

• The wife shows a desire to know absolutely everything about her husband - where he is, what he does, with whom he communicates, what messages he receives on social networks.
• The end of the day calls the end of the day, offends if the husband does not answer the call or message.
• It does not allow you to have a personal circle of communication, it suits scenes if the husband wants to spend time in a male company.
• He constantly asks her husband, what he thinks about, about his feelings in relation to her.
• It shows groundless jealousy in the slightest case - a random look expressed by a remark. Such behavior of the wife is regarded by a husband as a desire to manage and dominate, distrust or simply stupidity.

Hints

• For some reason, the wife is sure that the husband should be able to understand her at a glance. She does not express her wishes or requests directly, but with hints.
• The scandal is offended or arranged if the husband does not understand her.

The statement of criticism

• Ideal people do not exist. Marrying, the woman accepted the future husband as he is. But now the existing state of things does not suit her, and she is not shy about expressing critical comments towards her husband. Husband dissatisfaction may concern his appearance, behavior, habits, education, income, decisions made.
• It will be no less annoying and anger a husband if his wife allows herself to criticize his parents, relatives or friends.
• The listing of her husband’s shortcomings, sometimes moving into ridicule, occurs publicly with friends or colleagues. Negative statements to her husband in the presence of children are especially dangerous and painful. Such behavior is nothing more than humiliation of a spouse, suppression of authority, infringement of male pride.

Changes in appearance

• Some women are so confident in themselves that, being married, they begin to devote less time to care.
• Excess weight, untidy hairstyle, sloppy clothing, an ever -displeased face - this is how the wife may look from the point of view of a man. Women in this case are inclined to reproach her husband for coldness, insensibility, loss of attraction. But you should look in the eye-he once did not fall in love with such a woman.

Manipulation

• Attempts by a woman to manage her husband with the help of emotional techniques - tears, vagaries, hysteria, refusals of sex.
• This behavior leads to a gradual construction of an impenetrable wall between spouses - tears and screams cease to be sharply perceived over time, since the rules of the game are already known to both, and refusal to intimacy may end in the search for warmth and understanding in another place.

How to establish relationships - psychologists' advice

If your spouse is dear to you and you want to save a marriage, listen to the advice of psychologists:

• Analyze your own attitude to your husband. If you recognize yourself in the above models of women behavior, think about what you need to do to change yourself. Try not to save offenses, convincing yourself that your husband’s discontent is associated only with the loss of feelings for you.
• While the man is annoyed, do not enter into a conversation, Most likely he will grow into a quarrel. It is best to leave her husband alone with him to give him the opportunity to calm down.
• Talk frankly in a calm atmosphere. In fact, there can be many causes of anger and irritation. Perhaps you can settle a misunderstanding or understand what it is in his opinion that you are doing wrong.
• Do not use the indictment in the conversation, Do not make complaints, do not try to call the man to emotions. Listen to your spouse calmly, even if you do not like his position.
• Most often, in everyday life, we forget that in addition to responsibilities, anyone has the right to personal space and doing the fact that he likes. Discuss with your husband what he lacks - it could be a trip to fishing with friends, buying a simulator or a subscription to the pool. A man should not feel guilty in front of you if he wants to devote a little time to himself.
• Look around - what does your life look like? Apartment, furniture and furniture, dishes and curtains? Maybe the time has come for change and updates? Monotony and routine erase the colors of life. In fact, you do not need too much money to throw out unnecessary trash, refresh the walls, buy new items for convenience and comfort in the house.
• Try to find common hobbies for the whole family. Do not sit at home, accumulating grievances and misunderstanding - go out for a walk together, roll on bicycles, arrange a picnic, invite friends. Any change in the situation, positive emotions from communication will benefit relations.

If you want your husband to return home with joy, follow the next simple tips:

• Try to make it always clean and tasty prepared in your house.
• Meet your husband with a smile and kiss, even if your day was far from ideal.
• Do not rush to put all your problems, experiences, cares on your husband. Most of them can be solved without his help.
• Know how to listen and take any questions seriously - a man also expects support from you.
• All important decisions in the family should make a man or at least he must be sure that he decided so.
• Never compare your husband with your former or husbands of friends - the spouse should be sure that you are loved and the only one for you.
• Do not forget that my husband needs to feel like a beloved man in an intimate sphere. Do not use the lack of sex as a punishment.
• Do not flatter a man - falsity is always easy to read and may look frankly deceitful.
• Try to express my appropriate gratitude for the gift or assistance on the household and in business - praise, hug, kiss, sincerely rejoice at his care for you.

Video: causes of irritability and anger.

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