The syndrome of the deferred life is what it is: psychology, causes, signs, examples. How to get rid of a delayed life syndrome: Methods

In this article, we will discuss what is the syndrome of the deferred life and how to deal with it.

Content

In fact, the syndrome of the deferred life is not considered any specific disorder, although it can provoke neurosis, depression, and so on. Of course, such consequences do not always arise, but this can greatly ruin the life of those who are subject to it. Let's find out what is the syndrome of the deferred life and how to fight it correctly.

Delayed life syndrome: Psychology

The concept of "delayed life" appeared in 1997. It was created by Vladimir Pavlovich Serkin, a doctor of psychological sciences. He painted in detail what this syndrome is.

So, you must remember that this is not a mental deviation, but a special state when an internally person loses a specific life scenario in the subconscious, which he simply dreams of.

As a rule, three parts are expressed in it:

Expectation. This is a preparatory life, that is, the present. It seems gray and dull and makes no sense
Achievement. This is a specific moment after which everything should change. Here are just the specific terms of its occurrence cannot be called
Reward. This is already a future life, which seems ideal, rich and luxurious, as well as full of success and recognition

It is very easy to confuse this condition with dreams. In this case, there is nothing in common with them. When a person set a goal and wants to achieve it, for this he performs specific tasks, and reaches it. At the same time, there is no feeling that the present is bad, and the future will be good.

But in the case of the syndrome of the deferred life, everything is different, because there is no clear formulation of the goal and terms of its achievement. Perhaps there is such a period as “when I change work”, “when I move” and so on. However, it is most often found that everything will be soon, then and in general someday. And now the dreams of a better life that will someday after.

Usually, when a person dissolves completely in illusions, he does nothing to achieve his goals. It also happens that a person is laid out completely for the sake of some purpose, limits himself, but in the end he receives nothing. For example, he builds a career and then puts off love, purchases, meetings and so on. So a person simply puts off his life.

Syndrome of the deferred life for later: reasons

The syndrome of the delayed life can occur in everyone even the most mature person. Everyone can suffer from the fact that real life does not correspond to the one they want. But why is life being postponed in general?

Each from childhood has a perfect life. However, over time, it turns out that everything is far from the case. And this is normal, but in his dreams, a person is so bogged down that he does not understand that it is simply different reality, but not at all bad. And the more discrepancies will be in the life of, the more difficult it will be. And then one day a person wakes up and understands that his life is not at all the same, like a stranger. And the hardest thing that he himself was to blame, because he chose all this himself - a house, a car, his wife.

After awareness, events can develop in three scenarios:

A person decides to change and tries to make a maximum to get closer to the desired
A person underestimates his expectations and refuses to change something, but it is not known how long a person will withstand it
A person puts off or plans changes. He does not refuse them, he just goes to his goal gradually
Excessive desire to get a result when ignoring the process

Sometimes, when a person is chasing the result so much that he forgets to live and enjoy. As a result, when achieving the goal, it becomes difficult to feel all the weakness, because the mind looks into the future and its capabilities, depriving a person of the present.

By the way, such a situation is often found in literature and cinema, when a person tries to constantly “get out” upstairs and does not notice anything around. And then there is some kind of factor or a person who makes you sharply revise your life and change it. In ordinary life, this is almost never found and only to the person himself can begin to live here and now. It is important to learn how to appreciate what is now, so that later you do not have to regret anything.

Delayed life syndrome: Signs

People often try to avoid responsibility and therefore it is difficult to understand where the norm is and where the pathology is already beginning. The syndrome of the deferred life is in a special place, because it can provoke many undesirable consequences. Not everyone will manage to control promises and plans, especially if they are built every minute and are not implemented at all. And problems in this case cannot be avoided.

In order not to miss the moment when there is still a chance to prevent everything, you need to understand how this pathology is manifested:

Life obstacles are constant. Often, employers listen to employees who talk about some reasons that prevented them to complete the task. They almost always say that they cannot do something because of mood, weather. At the same time, people try to convince the employer that everything will be different tomorrow, and then they find new arguments again and do the same.
Inability to rejoice. When a person cannot enjoy what he has, he is unhappy. So it occurs in people with a deferred life syndrome. They will not say that they are pleased with the salary, construction or purchase. Even with an increase at work, there are reasons to be immersed. Even in the happiest moments, a person is dissatisfied and puzzled by something.
Hope for a better life. If you ask a person if he likes his salary, he will tell you that next month she will be more, even if it is not. People with the syndrome in question do this almost always. They say that there is success today, but it will be even more later. They like praise, but they are not encouraged, because it is only a small part of their great talent.
Irrational use of funds. This usually annoys others, not the person himself. All money is postponed for big goals or purchases. And after some time, restrictions reach such scale that even the usual needs are not satisfied. For example, a person copies on a chandelier, but does not want to change the light bulb in the old. For him, this is a trifle unworthy of attention.
Departure from responsibility. Such a sign is not inherent in everyone, but a person can try to avoid punishment for his actions and words. He postpones the submission of reports, but if someone else does it, he can intercede, even if he is then punished. This is because a person considers himself innocent in this situation, but simply allegedly reports information.
Emotional restraint. A person rarely shows external emotions. Everything that surrounds him rarely causes joy. It is almost always just a slight satisfaction. No matter what news will be reported, a person will still be calm. But he is not very upset. This is due to the fact that for him the moments are simply flying.
Independent consolation. Not everyone can restrain themselves when something bad happens. A person finds an excuse in any case. He believes in the future and constantly assures himself and the environment that the problems are taking place, you just need to wait.
Closed theme of loneliness. He never talks about this. It is difficult to bring him to a similar conversation, because I do not want to think about the bad. In any situation, he behaves infantilely and closes his eyes to the upset reality. If you do not think about it, then nothing will happen - this is the main motto.
Awkwardness in the manifestation of their talents. It is not clear to many where the line is between shyness and this phenomenon. In fact, it is noticeable. A person is not embarrassed if he does not know how to do something. He just thinks that now time is not very suitable for demonstrating his skills. He thinks that he has not yet matured and should come a certain moment.

The syndrome of the deferred life is very convenient: examples from literature and life

The syndrome of the deferred life, as we have already said, is very well traced in literature, as well as in life. Let's look at a few examples.

From scientific literature

V.P. Serkin, who is the author of the definition, talked about people living in the north. Many hate their lives because of hard work, hard climate, health problems. Most dreams of moving and thinks that then everything will change. That's just only a few are capable of this. The rest remains to live in the cold.

From fiction

In fiction, a striking example is Scarlett O’Hara - the main character of the novel by Margaret Mitchell, “ruled by the wind”. She always said - "I'll think about it tomorrow."

Another good example is given in Narine Abgaryan’s novel “Three Apples fell from the sky”. It speaks of spouses. The husband bought himself beautiful shoes and wanted to wear it right there, but his wife hid them, saying that he would only go to the temple on Sundays in them. That same evening the husband died.

From life

Many who lived in the USSR remember how parents often hid the most beautiful and new in chests. If they were asked about why they are doing this, then they answered that everything would come in handy later.

At the moment, the syndrome of the deferred life is associated mainly with two phenomena. The first is the "Vakhtovik phenomenon." It looks like the residents of the north, and the second is the “director of the director” or the workaholic. When a person only works and does not pay attention to anything else. And so he thinks that a little more and he will leave everything. That's just this moment does not come.

How to get rid of a delayed life syndrome - how to fight?

What to do if the syndrome of the deferred life is still present? In this case, there are several methods that will be effective:

Recognition and forgiveness. It may seem strange, but to solve the problem, first of all, her person must recognize. Realize the presence of a problem, but do not blame yourself. After all, everyone makes mistakes, the main thing is that you have realized them and are ready to change.
Expectation. Here you will have to drop your pink glasses and learn to look soberly at things. Do not think that some opportunities are not available to you. You have every chance to succeed in any business you wish. You just need to learn how to act right now and not put off for later.
Self -education. Learn to solve problems here and now - calmly and without fuss. Start with the simplest and gradually move on to the complex.
From simple to complex. Such a process is not fast and you need to adhere to small doses. There is one excellent trick, although a little cruel. For example, you want to "pump up" by summer. Now set yourself an exact term, for example, May 1. Mark the date on the calendar and set yourself a countdown on the smartphone. Your motivation is that time goes forward. Fear of disappointment in oneself is an excellent driving force. When a couple of days will be missed, the moment of panic will come, which will make you start training.

How to get rid of a deferred life syndrome: a psychologist's advice

It is not enough just to use the above methods to eradicate the syndrome of the deferred life. It is also important to adhere to several tips from experienced psychologists. They will help not return the syndrome again:

Do not blame anyone. Everything that happens in your life is the result of the lack of your actions. However, there is always a chance to direct life in the right direction. Start acting and everything will work out.
Lists. It is difficult to keep everything in your memory, and therefore always make the lists of everything that you have to do. Just don't write many tasks. Only 4-5 pieces are enough
Victory today. Do not let in sentimentality, as well as thoughts about the future. Dale Carnegie advised to live one day and not allow the centers to worsen progress. Of course, you can sometimes remember the former, and think about the future, but you need to do it here and now. Do not let go of big reasoning. Think about what you can do and go forward without doubt and fears.

Keep in mind that it will be difficult to overcome yourself, but this is your life and no one will bear responsibility for it besides you.

Syndrome of the deferred life - what is its danger?

Each of us thinks about a happy and ideal life. At the same time, those who suffer from a deferred life syndrome will begin to later begin when a specific moment comes. Hence the main danger, because a person does not live the present, respectively, does not receive pleasure. So, he simply in vain is losing time and opportunities, and he also forms false priorities and psychological problems.

Often, behind the syndrome of the deferred life, strong self -doubt and fear of changes are hidden. Perhaps a person simply does not want to leave the comfort zone. Moreover, not everyone can recognize the problem. Most often, people are looking for excuses for themselves.

Often a person himself does not even suspect that he has problems, because formally he does not refuse anything, but thinks to do it later. Accordingly, in his opinion, there is no problem, therefore it is not necessary to solve it.

As we said at the very beginning, the syndrome can provoke depression, neurosis, and so on. This may be due to the realization of how much time was spent in vain.

Delayed life syndrome: reviews

Many people on the Internet share their problems, they also talk about the syndrome of the deferred life. This is what people say about it:

Video: Syndrome of the deferred life. How to set and realize a goal or task in order to live to keep up?

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