Maternal burnout: symptoms, stages. What to do to get rid of maternal burnout and save your psychological state?

A woman who has experienced the joy of motherhood, usually for the first time after childbirth feels all -consuming happiness. At this time, her fatigue is completely unknown, despite the constant lack of sleep.

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But a couple of months pass, and life in the whirlpool of inexhaustible troubles, diseases and piercing screams of the baby can drive a newly-made mommy into the real depression. Her condition becomes alarming, fatigue, apathetic, and the body often even begins to “fail” at once.

What is the syndrome of emotional maternal burnout?

All these disorders have a common principle, called the "syndrome of emotional burnout." At this time, the young mother is just exhausts both mentally and psychophysically, she dulls the ability to objective perception of her actions.
Sometimes she can drive herself into such psychological impassethat completely and completely becomes dependent on others. And such a moment may come when all emotions come to zero almost to zero - so its indifference, depleted morally and physically, protects the unstable psyche.

Why does maternal burning come?

In the event that all energy is directed to one side-building a career, family chores or, as in our case, care for the baby, then psychophysical and mental balance will certainly be broken. If you have to perform the same functions every day, without being distracted by anything else, then you can expect maternal burnout.
In the modern world, a young couple, having created a family, strives for independence in the housing plan, to be together so that no one from the older generation intervenes in their personal life. But this is good only until the time, until the firstborn appears in the young family, and then the woman becomes hostage to endless household problems.

If earlier the older and younger generation lived with one family, and the children were raised to their feet together, now there is no one to rely on a young mother, except on himself. It is not particularly necessary to expect emotional support and communication from her husband, since he is mostly either at work or resting before work. And he absolutely does not understand why she complains and what she wants from him. Meanwhile, she has to sit with a baby in four walls almost all the time.
Inability at least somehow diversify your life Or at least get emotional support from a loved one can bring a young woman to burnout. Even more difficult in this regard single motherswhich no one helps. Often such a woman has no time to take place, not to mention visiting a beauty salon or shopping.
So gradually a woman can completely forget about your interests, giving all its time and care baby, spouse, home affairs. But if she constantly gives something, getting anything in return, then her energy will not be replenished. And then the time will come when she completely burns out, and there will be nothing to give to her relatives.
There is another reason that brings a woman to burnout. This is when, near the young mother, there are constantly advisers, dissatisfied with how she raises a child, or leads a household. It can be her own mother, mother -in -law or even her husband, who should support her in every way, and not criticize.

If you experience maternal burnout syndrome, you do not need to consider yourself worse than others or a bad mother. According to statistics, about 90% of mothers who are on maternity leave are subjected to emotional burnout. It’s just that many of them do not pronounce this out loud so that they are not considered for a negligent mother who is unable to pure the child.

But all family members need to know that the mother, who is constantly bored with the child, needs help. Moreover, it should be not only that, the husband or other member of the family will take on part of the worries about the child or at home. Help should also be a psychological plan. If the mother, who has driven herself into a depressive state, does not help in time, then this will be bad not only for her alone, but also to the whole family.

Stages of maternal burnout

Nothing happens overnight, so complete burnout occurs in stages. At the first stage It happens truly active explosion of emotionswhich can be called self -mobility of the body. At this time, young mothers with all their might try to do everything as best as possible, having concentrated on their child and household chores.

But for some time passes, the forces are exhausted, and there is nowhere to replenish energy, and the usual worries cease to delight the tired woman. To prevent full loss of strength, it is necessary from time to time arrange your restTo be restored for energy. To do this, mom needs to try to organize her mode in such a way that there is time left for herself.
At the second stage The staging stage begins, it is also called stenic. At this stage, a person comes to understand that he lives in constant stress, accompanied by hopelessness, irritation, dissatisfaction with himself and others. The exhausted, exhausted mother in this case, in any way, can not wait until the child comes to sleep, as she becomes too lazy to bother with him. The woman understands that she needs to shut up, because the child requires constant care, but she no longer has the strength to force herself to do the usual business, and there is also desire.
Here mom should help herself, and autotraining with motivation She may be the best assistants in this. She can motivate herself that the child grows up very soon, and she will be much easier. At the same time, say words to yourself like these: “I have to do everything for my child as best as possible. He is small and needs my care ”; "I so dreamed of a child, and I am happy to take care of him."
Additional stress in the form illness, betrayal or leaving her husband to another woman They can plunge the young mother in the next stage - non -confusion, which is also called asthenic. She is accompanied complete emptiness, sometimes - unmotivated aggression and complete indifference to everything. Mom absolutely does not want to hold the baby in her arms, soothing him, or to sing to him a lullaby, since all her forces exhausted even for the shortest contact with him. Moreover, she may even have a feeling of rejection.
During this period, a woman self -esteem decreases, all actions are depreciated in her eyes, and bitterness to the whole world and rolled itself on itself. It is difficult for her to cope with any task, it seems that at any second she can happen emotional explosion. The asthenic stage is usually quickly diagnosed by a doctor. This allows her complaints about the baby, which is usually an adequate person does not allow in principle.

The fourth, most dangerous stage of maternal burnout, occurs when her mother in large quantities concentrates only negative emotions, and sometimes she even wants to commit suicide - despite the fact that she has a small child in her arms. At this stage, mom will definitely need to be treated, since she herself will not get out of this condition.
A woman needs to try to turn herself, switch to some business interesting things for her. Otherwise, not having the opportunity to safely throw out her negative emotions, her life and people close to her can be filled with a real nightmare in the form of quarrels with ugly scenes, aggressive outbreaks aimed at an innocent baby full of apathy, depressive state, suicidal thoughts . Psychological factors can provoke somatic diseases; Constantly “jamming” her stress, a young mother can gain a lot in weight. In order to somehow calm their inner contradictions, she can even begin to change her husband.

Maternal burnout: what to do, 10 ways that help

Maternal burnout: what to do:

First of all, do not keep all this negative in yourself. Surely every woman has such a close friend who will not condemn her, but, on the contrary, will always support her morally. That's exactly her should tell about all her problems.
It is necessary to expand the circle of your friends: communication with new people who have the same circle of interests or even problematic issues will necessarily give its positive result.
It is impossible to limit yourself only to family concerns and spend all your time at home. There are always the same young mothers somewhere in the neighborhood-so why not take walks somewhere in a quiet park with them, unite with them, for example, for some long fascinating trip, etc.
To load yourself with physical exercises - for this it is not necessary to visit the gym, you can do this at home. Long walks also help to tune in to positive.
Switching, finally, to your health-after all, it is important not only for you, but also for your child. A healthy, positively -minded mommy, and the child is cheerful and healthy. Therefore, pick up a useful diet for yourself, let yourself sleep, go through the examination.
Remember everything that brought you joy to childbirth or come up with a new hobby for yourself - take care, reading, needlework, visit a beauty salon, go to the pool or shopping.
If you have a child, this does not mean at all that you have fallen out of life. You can always find something new and useful for yourself, which you should learn while you are sitting on maternity leave. The new knowledge gained will then be useful to you when the child grows up, and you will go to work. There are paid and free training programs that can always be found on the Internet. The employment service can also become an assistant to you in this matter: they enable women on maternity leave to study in all kinds of free courses.
Feel free to resort to the help of relatives or use the services of a nanny when you want to take time for yourself.
Psychological marathons are now being held, in which you can take part, thereby being distracted from pressing problems.
But if you felt that you have already reached almost the last stage of emotional maternal burnout, talk about this with a psychologist, and with it you will find a way out of the situation.