I do not like my child - the lack of maternal instinct: signs, causes, psychologist's advice, reviews

The reasons and signs of the lack of maternal instinct.

Content

Many women in an interesting situation are looking forward to the birth of the baby. But some representativesbeautiful Paul Maternity Instinct never appears. In this article we will tell you why women do not have a maternal instinct.

Lack of maternal instinct in a woman: Reasons

It is generally accepted that the woman’s body is preparing to become a mother for all nine months. During this time, a woman gets used to the fact that soon a new man will appear in life, who needs to give all of herself, without a trace. This is a baby, who will need to be taken care of, care and provide, surround him with affection, warmth, maternal love. However, after the birth of a child, many women find that they have a void in their souls. That is, they feel almost nothing in relation to the newborn.

Lack of maternal instinct in a woman, reasons:

Hormonal disbalance. All nine months of pregnancy, a large amount of progestin, as well as prolactin and other hormones that preserve pregnancy, enters the bloodstream. Immediately after birth, the hormonal background is completely changing, because the body is no longer a new man.
Painful birth. In this case, the reason is psychological in nature, because in a woman a child is associated with the pain that she experienced in the process of childbirth. Somewhere deep down, at a subconscious level, a woman blames the baby that she had to go through the torment.
Strong fatigue, change in life foundation. Now a woman needs to be on the alert 24 hours a day, take care of the child, feed him, change clothes, and, if necessary, bathe. Not everyone, unfortunately, has calm children who sleep a lot of time from birth. There are restless kids who cry, worry, worry, do not eat well. The woman becomes exhausted.
After the birth of children, especially if there was a cesarean, a woman may open Strong bleeding. Thus, hemoglobin is significantly reduced, which worsens well -being, makes a woman weak. In this case, the head often dizzy, hands may shake, nausea is felt.

I do not like children - what to do?

A person is arranged in such a way that in the foreground he has an instinct of self -preservation. The woman’s body can inadequately respond to the condition after childbirth, and perceive the baby as a threat to life. Accordingly, your own health comes to the fore, not taking care of the child.

I do not like children what to do:

That is why it is necessary to improve health as soon as possible. Accordingly, you need to eat correctly, take vitamins, also iron -containing drugs to restore hemoglobin levels. Often, to overcome depression after childbirth, soothing herbs are prescribed.
It is also necessary to try to establish lactation as soon as possible. It is believed that breastfeeding brings the mother and baby closer, this allows the maternal instinct to develop. In this case, a woman feels her purpose faster, and feelings of love for her baby may arise.
And of course, do not forget about the rest. Immediately after discharge from the hospital, it is advisable to connect mothers, grandmothers, as well as father to care for the child. In no case should you give up help and try to give yourself to the child.
This greatly exhausts a woman, sucks out life forces from her. In addition, routine, as well as monotonous actions every day lead to depression, worsening the emotional state of a woman. In turn, hatred for all others may arise, including their own child.

Why doesn't a woman like children?

A kind of picture is imposed by a kind of picture, which she sees every day from TV screens.

Why does a woman don't like children:

In television advertising, mom is a beautiful, well -groomed woman, with a pure baby in her arms, who is always smiling. Because of this, the impression is that motherhood is continuous happiness.
What does she get in return? In fact, it will expect a routine, daily work, as well as a lack of sleep. Sometimes it happens that a woman has no time to sleep. It comes to the point that a young mother cannot go to the toilet in time.
After a woman plunges into this environment, feels inferior, and does not understand why she does not experience such tremulous feelings as a woman from advertising.

Signs of the absence of maternal instinct

The most interesting thing is that most women expect the maternal instinct will come immediately after the birth of the baby. In fact, this is not so. It has been developing in a woman since childhood, but he reaches his peak since the birth of crumbs - after 8 months. Accordingly, immediately after childbirth, you may not feel wild love and a reverent attitude to your own child.

Signs of the lack of maternal instinct:

Unwillingness to constantly be with your child. That is, the baby becomes a real burden for the mother. A woman does not want to take care of him, care, and also be saturated with the emotions that the child gives.
The lack of ability without fatigue and dissatisfaction is performing all the work to care for the child. Any chores associated with the baby do not bring joy.
He does not like his child, trying to spend less time with him.

You can educate a child without love for him, and this does not mean that the mother will be bad. The family will simply reign in the family, and a number of responsibilities that are assigned to a woman, but without much delight, will be performed.

Why is there no maternal instinct?

In fact, there are several types of maternal instinct, they depend not only on genetic characteristics,laid Nature, but also by social factors.

Why is there no maternal instinct:

The tense relationship of a woman with her mother. That is, initially, while still a girl, she learns to be responsible, often plays with dolls in her mother-mother, watching her parents. It is they who are an example and source of maternal behavior for her.
Social norms andprinciples. Each era is characterized by its attitude to children, care for them. In some states, it is accepted that nannies, not mothers, take care of children. This does not mean that they do not have a maternal instinct. It is imposed by society that a woman should work after birth after childbirth, and all worries about the child to perform a nanny.
Genetic predisposition. The maternal instinct is inherent in all women as animals. They must take care of their offspring. Accordingly, if the maternal instinct does not appear, it is notmeans, That something is wrong with the woman. Many representatives of the fair sex have grown magnificent children without maternal instinct. Recently, scientists have been inclined to hypothesis that people do not have instincts, but there are only reflexes.

How to avoid the lack of maternal instinct: a psychologist's advice

Do not expect a mother’s instinct immediately after the birth of the baby. It may not be, he will develop a little later.Do not reproach yourself and feel guilty if the maternal instinct has not developed. Many women are able to educate worthy children and without any special feelings.

Psychologist's advice:

Try to relax more. Connect your relatives and husband to the upbringing and care of the child. You are not a robot, and you cannot be around the clock near the baby. This does not mean that you do not love him, any person needs rest.
Breastfeed and sleep with your child. It is proven that breastfeeding, joint sleep allow the maternal instinct to develop.
Despite the tight schedule, find time for yourself. Be sure every few days try to break out of the family, at least for manicure, care procedures or for conversations with girlfriends.
It is impossible for all free time to take a child. A woman must have her own life, interests, as well as small joys that are in no way connected with the baby.
Walk more in the fresh air With a child, communicate with other mothers. Although sometimes many women are annoyed by talk about diapers, first teeth and steps. In fact, many women are tired of this and so much, so they do not want to hear from friends and friends.Accordingly, the companies of neighbors, young mothers who have small children can avoid.

Maternal instinct after childbirth: reviews

Try to relax more and enjoy every minute that you can spend with your child. Spend more time alone with you, find a few minutes to think, dream. Sometimes communicate with outsiders without a small child.

Maternal instinct after childbirth: reviews

Oksana, 30 years old. Since childhood, I do not really like children, they annoy me. I wanted my child, but I did not quite understand why he was needed. She explained her pregnancy that almost all my friends already have children, I do not have. To be like everyone else. Afteri learned What is pregnant, I did not experience any special feelings for the growing child. Immediately after birth I felt disgusting. I had a cesarean, for a long time departed from anesthesia, constant pain and always scolding daughter. I can’t say that I loved her madly, rather it annoyed me. But about six months later, when I entered the rhythm, I got used to such a life, I had feelings. Now my baby is 3 years old, I can’t imagine a single day without her.

Lena, 28 years old. The child is not planned, I did not meet with a young man for long, and my pregnancy was a real surprise. To be honest, I was very puzzled, and even wanted to get rid of the child. But then I thought that I was not 20 years old, there is a permanent job, good parents, so I can raise a child, even if a young man does not want him. But everything happened differently, we got married, now we have a wonderful family. A few months before giving birth, I fell in love with my baby with all my heart and soul.

Olga, 25 years old. She always loved children, treated them with special trepidation, the desire to constantly patronize. I have a long -awaited child, immediately after I became pregnant, I already loved him very much. After birth, I did not feel very well, health problems that took a lot of time came to the fore. After everything has normalized, I am happy to take care of my child, I love him very much. Now he goes to the garden, sometimes he is very missing. I can’t live a day without his kisses, and warm arms that love to touch my face.

Some women are very worried, since in all books, fairy tales and in the stories of experienced mothers, there is awe and love for their children. Why do some women do not experience maternal instinct? In fact, no one says that he should appear immediately after childbirth. Yes, indeed, this happens most often, and immediately after the birth of the baby, a woman considers him a piece of herself, feeling awe, and love. But this does not always happen.