How to ask a man for help and why is it so difficult to do? When is not the time to ask a man for help?

It so happened that in any society, people are used to helping each other, because such qualities as a cheerful and easy disposition, the ability to find a common language with people, constant readiness to provide a service to their neighbor in our society by almost the most important advantages. And this is quite normal if people provide a service or expect help from someone.

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Unfortunately, not all women learned to ask for something of their close men about something. A modern woman is usually not proud of it, and therefore considers the voice of a request to manifest the manifestation of a weakness of character. To learn how to ask a man is a whole art, and it is very important to do this with a truly female charm, seasoned with a drop of cunning and flattery. So, we learn all this together!

How to ask a man for help without errors?

Women are true dreamers. They are usually sure that their second half is well aware of their thoughts and feelings. What woman sometimes did not be upset, thinking that her partner does everything contrary to her, completely regardless of her desires and needs? “After all, he knows well what needs to be done for me now! But he does not want to do, then he fell out of love with me, ”the woman is sometimes angry. But it is likely that a man does not suspect that some actions are expected from him, and that is why a conflict of interest is formed from misunderstanding.
Men by nature are not very guessedso they need to speak directly about what you expect from them. Hints or semi -Germanes usually do not pass here.
A woman often waits for a man to guess about her needs and desires. And he cannot ask a man for help, languishes in expectations. And, without waiting, she grabs herself for all the matters, and gradually irritation begins to grow in it.

A man does not know about your desires, so you need to ask directly

And then, from the accumulated fatigue and misunderstanding, the whole eager for reproaches and malice pouring on the head of an unsuspecting man. Remember! Representatives of the stronger sex do not tolerate when they are crushed or reported, as if a boy guilty of something. Such points should not be allowed, because you may well lose control of the circumstances - such outbreaks can eventually lead to a break in relations.
In relations with a man, the position of a “little girl” is also not suitable when a woman says: “You are obliged!”; "I demand that you do it!" etc. It also gives pressure and manipulation, and believe me, such tactics will not lead to anything good.

How to ask a man for help?

The most important thing in the question how right ask a man for help - to realize your femininity, and then learn to apply for a partner will be much easier .
After all, what is the most important for a man? Be necessary for your weak second half. He is sure that he is the first in everything, and he is a hero, and he is always ready to help someone who is weaker. And then he feels his extraordinary forces, he is affirmed in them. And he is not interested in a strong or equal person, because in order to help him, there is no motivation. What is he defender and assistant, if he has to help himself?
You need to become weak and defenseless in the eyes of his man, so that he fully feels his significance and importance. And when you ask for help from a man, it is precisely these emotions that he experiences. Ask him as often as possible give him the opportunity to feel like a courageous and unusually strong person!

How to ask a man for help: the rule "three p"

It is with the help of the components of this rule that you can achieve the creation of ideal relationships. But you need to not forget about them and use within twenty -one days. Try it, because it does not threaten you!

First rule: ask

In case you are inconvenient ask a man for help, It is worth starting to ask for what he does. For example, in the morning to cook a portion of coffee for you, take a child to a kindergarten, etc. And immediately it will become noticeable because he had changed his posture, in the shade of pride in his voice, when you ask him that he was ready to do so. By the way, such “intelligence by battle” will be useful for everyone, for you, because you will see how many things he already performs for you. It was just before that it was somehow not particularly noticeable.
In case of refusal to your request, Take it easy, do not offend and do not humiliate your man. Mentally thank him for the fact that he already performs a lot of useful things for you. If you learn to endure refusals in this way - not annoyed and without rolling tantrums, you yourself will notice that he will be much more likely to respond to your requests.
And also a very useful advice, if you were refused, do not try to quickly do this work yourself. Otherwise, in his subconscious, the thought will firmly take root that you are excellently coping with everything and without his participation. What he will certainly tell you when you again contact him with your request. Think about how you can reformulate and stimulate a man to help you. For example, tell me “Dear, please take out the garbage, because along the way there is a store for fishermen. And you have long been going to buy a new fishing rod. ” So your partner will not only fulfill your request, but also do what has long been going. And he will feel doubly a hero.
Your request is needed formulate not in the form of a question: “Will you take your daughter to the kindergarten?”, And in the affirmative: “Please, take our daughter to the kindergarten today.” The husband will be proud of what his wife asks, which means that he trusts him. And he does not ask, as if he doubts him.

Use 3 rules and your requests will be fulfilled

Second rule: thank

Gratitude, sincere and sincere, has the most powerful energy impulse, Able to positively charge your man. There are women who believe that their second half by default is obliged to do everything for her. And at the same time they do not encourage them.
But in vain, because for men it is very important to hear gratitude from a woman as often as possible for all the things and actions that he does for her.

Third rule: praise

If a man decided to do something to please you, then all this is not just like that. He is waiting for you to admire them.

When you pronounce the words of praise addressed to him, you can not only count in the future to receive new gifts and perform actions in your honor. Remember that along with this you push him to male nobility.

For some reason, it so happened that men appreciate those women in which they invest more strength, energy, money. And those who invest all this in men do not appreciate. These are the realities of our life.

Ask a man for help: why is it so difficult to “reach out” to men?

The psychology of men and women is completely different. And precisely why their reaction to requests for help is also diametrically different from each other. According to psychologists, evolution is to blame for all these gender differences.
Nature endowed women with inner instinctsso they feel that someone needs their help. In prehistoric times, women, in order to survive, developed skills for successful existence in society. The female brain had to overpower the emotional intelligence - the ability to understand the emotions of their fellow tribesmen, show sympathy, and recognize non -verbal signals. And now, in the modern world, women feel great that they need their help, even before they are asked about it. And they help and wait for help in response.
Men are arranged in a completely different way, not in vain they are “the opposite sex”. The male brain happened to develop in a competition in order to survive, To become a leader in the tribe, he sent signals to his owner: "Do not trust anyone, rely only on yourself, be independent, or you will disappear." True, men also cannot refuse the desire for cooperation, but their constant competition speaks to itself among themselves. Each of them wants to be a leader in his “pack”.
Given such a huge difference between the psyche of men and women, it is incredibly difficult to achieve mutual understanding.
If nature itself gave an inner flair to a woman, then telepathy is not subject to an ordinary man. And therefore, to see in the eyes of her partner what she at the moment needs and is important, he simply cannot do it.
In order to wait for help from a partner, you will have to ask a man for help. And, most likely, repeatedly. A reminder for a man is quite within normal limits. It is possible that in order to achieve the goal, it will bring different methods.

Here is some of them:

Do you want a man to hear you? Suddenly change the signal!Your strategy should change: quietly loudly; A little rudely - affectionately, etc. It will be necessary to change tonality, choose other words, time and place, so that your request is heard. If you usually put your requirements for him when you give breakfast, and also in a rough form, then next time make an attempt to ask him when he relaxes. And, besides, contact him gently, “roam” him in his ear. The surprise factor will play into your hands! Whether he wants it or not, but you will be heard. His reaction can be different, but the main thing is that your request will be deposited in his memory. And this will give an impulse to reflection, and over time - to action.
If you want you to hear you, try to hear.Before you put your requirements to a man, try to ask them yourself. And you need to do this with genuine interest. Ask him about his tastes and addictions, be interested in his needs. Nobody canceled the principle of reciprocity, in response he will want to find out about your desires and will listen carefully to you. It was then that tell him all your wishes and requests.

In order for the interlocutor to hear and understand you, speak in the language that he understands.What to say about the male language? The main thing is that it is completely simple. Do not supplement your speech with emotions. Requests must be expressed briefly. Do not pronounce a few requests at the same time - let it cope with at least one. In addition, you should do without unnecessary details and descriptions. It is worth asking this: "Be kind, now take out the garbage." And the request expressed approximately in this form is not at all: “I come from work completely tired and therefore expect from you that you will help me with the household. I hope for your help to maintain our house clean and order. ” Such an appeal does not take the proper effect that a woman awaits the man.
Look in his eyes. It turns out that in order to “reach out” to a man and be heard to them, it is necessary to ensure that he looks into your eyes at least three seconds. Where his gaze is at the moment - all his attention is focused on that.
A man should know about your plans in advance.A man needs time to make corrections into his plans and switch the brain from solving one problem to another. He needs to calculate everything, find motivation or reasons for refusal, minimize failures, etc. Women are annoyed from the fact that representatives of the stronger sex "pull the cat by the tail." And for men is unbearable when women demand "quickly, here and now." And you know why? Yes, simply because their subconscious mind opposes that the algorithm embedded in the brain changes.

When is not the time to ask a man for help?

Not worth it ask a man for helpWhen he was hungry, he experiences fatigue, or he is completely concentrated on a different issue. In such cases, he is not up to your problems, he may simply not hear them.
It can be incredibly difficult for him to switch from any one question to another, it can even cause attack of aggression. The best moment to state his request to a man is when he is already he was saturated and rested.

A well -fed and rested man can be asked about a lot

Worldview of men and women So different that sometimes it seems that they are creatures who have arrived from another planet. And therefore it is incredibly difficult for them to hear each other and achieve harmony in relationships. It is difficult, but possible, if you work well on it.

Request for help: reviews

The request of men for help - reviews:

Antonina: I have been living with my husband for more than 20 years, and purely intuitively developed my techniques, how to achieve what I need. But from your material I learned something new for myself. Thanks for your advice, I will definitely try them in practice.
Vladimir: Ah, women, the name is treachery to you! Until I read your recommendations, I even had no idea how many things are in your arsenal to manage us, men. It is necessary to take a closer look at my wife - suddenly she puts experiments on me!
Yaroslav: I meet a guy, and it seems to me that we have a complete mutual understanding with him. He fulfills all my requests and so, without any tricks on my part. We think soon to get married, and I hope that he will be as sweet and obedient in family life. But I remembered your advice just in case.

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