What you need to know before resuming relations with the ex? Is it worth resuming relationships with the former: is there a chance, how not to do it?

The resumption of relations with the former is a common topic that excites many girls. So, is it worth doing?

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It happens that some time after parting with a loved one for one reason or another, fate encounters you together, and the spark runs again. Or, perhaps, it was after parting that you understood the price of your partner and your real feelings for him, and now you certainly want to resume them. Or time passed, and you realized that you really love and the reason for parting is not so important at all.

What you need to know before resuming relations with the ex?

It is important to understand that again “into the pool with your head” should not rush. Take a timeout and weigh all the pros and cons. We will try to talk about what we need to pay attention to before resuming relations with the ex.

The strongest effect can have the strongest effect after the gap can have two factors - the style of your last conversation and the time that has passed since the part of part.

Parting style

If the reasons for separation is a myriad of, then there are only two styles of parting-in a friendly or soil.

As good (or not so) friends most often, mature people break up emotionally, people or those who mutually decided that parting is the best option for them. After such a breakup, it will not be difficult for you resume relations with the former - The burden of grievances will not put pressure on you.
When parting on the second option, we often insult each other, trying to do as painfully as possible to the partner. In addition, our friends and families, who can also hide the resentment against you for their loved ones, are drawn to this or another, to one degree or another.

Time

Time is a key factor affecting your future. No matter how strong resentments are - time has a magical property to allow us not only to forget, but also to reconsider the situation and our role in it. We are growing up, gaining experience and, as a result, what seemed to us a terrible disaster even a year or two ago, today it may seem a perfect trifle.
Psychologists recommend that immediately after the break, give themselves time to relax and think before resume relations with the former again. Thanks to this, you can understand whether you are doing the right thing and what exactly you want to see your future relationship with a partner.

What is the style of your relationship now?

The worse your relationship at the moment, the more difficult it will be for you to revive former love.

Friendship.Friendship is the best development of events after parting, which is not given to everyone. On the one hand, this is ideal if you plan to try to "glue a broken saucer." On the other hand, if you become “your kid”, then it will be very difficult to taxi the situation in the previous channel, since there is no longer to wait for the previous passion in the relationship - both on his part and yours. If you are friends, but you want resume relations with the formerTry not to be "in your insole." Leave a certain aura of secrecy.
Friendship, like friendly relations, is not the best option if you decide to move on and build a new relationship. Your new lover may not understand friendship with the "ex".

Good friends.From time to time to call up, learning how the partner’s things are doing - this is an excellent scenario. Communication from time to time and the opportunity to ask for help at the right time without any illusions and insults. It is important to understand that under a friend, a person who loves you can successfully be successfully. In communication with a former partner, remember that being friends does not mean to share all the details of the new relationships that you may have started. It is enough to let him know that everything is fine with you.
Communication on duress.If you are colleagues at work, rotate in one circle, you have a common business or even children - sooner or later you will have to establish relationships, even if they have nothing to do with the previous ones. In this case, you can unobtrusively prove yourself - to show what an understanding mother you are, a successful and smart woman and the like. You should not tell everyone and everyone about how badly you parted or tell the children that dad is bad or somehow offended you-by this you close your way back. Even if your former complains of a relationship with you to everyone, this is not a reason to humiliate himself to his level.
Just sex.It also happens that you cannot live together, but having sex - very much. Most often, one of the partners uses this situation in an attempt to return the past. Remember who was the first to start and suggested that? Perhaps your partner dreams of resuming relationships? In this case, the binding between partners does not weaken even with time.
Lack of communication in general.This is not bad and not good for renewal of relations with the former. This may also mean that the insults are strong and the fact that both of you had time to think, rethink and, finally, miss each other and understand how important you are for each other. Or vice versa - to build a new relationship without interfering with each other to live. In this case, of course, a return to former is impossible. To understand how things are on the “that side” can carefully ask common friends.

War.If you broke up with enemies and are still waging a war against the former on all fields - you have zero chances of resuming relationships again. Although the proverb says that from love to hatred, as vice versa, exhausted by the war and constant attempts to humiliate each other, partners are unlikely to find the strength to reconcile in themselves.

Is it worth resuming relationships with the former: is there a chance?

Before entering the path renewal of relations with the former You need to carefully analyze the behavior of the former lover in relation to you. If he shows signs of attention, cares about you, is sincere in his interest in your life and does not avoid communicating with you - you have a chance of success. Otherwise, you better try to forget it and build new healthy relationships with another person.

By the way, statistics suggest that only ten percent of the decayed pairs are connected again and live together happily. Before proceeding with hostilities, you should analyze the situation in order to understand exactly whether you need it.

The following points must be analyzed:

Your and his habits or character traits that were stumbling and which have not changed.
Is there love? You need to clearly understand whether you need him, and you are to him.
Do you and he can forgive? If you can’t forgive him his misconduct, and he can not be about happiness to you.
Are you ready to face your previous problems? You need to realize that it is simply impossible to change a person radically and you can only be happy if you have the strength to accept him as he is.

What to do?If you decide to start renewal of relations with the former, carefully studying the situation that we got into, we have a small plan for you.

Hold yourself in your hands.Even if you are very bad, do not let your experiences splash out on others or manifest in your environment. Leave your tears and sorrows to your mother, the most reliable girlfriend or, at worst, a pillow. Laugh in public, rejoice in life and have fun with the heart. Others and especially your ex must understand and see that everything is fine with you and you are happy. Of course, you should not replay - hysterically laughing with tearful eyes, the girl looks frightening.
Back, in the past. Remember how mischievous, successful, cheerful and beautiful you were when you met him? What devils played in your eyes? As they say, the salvation of the drowning man ... Take yourself in earnest and revive that beautiful happy girl from the ashes. Let him look at you, he wants to join and be next to this happiness. Life imposes on us a huge amount of routine, while erasing our dreams, desires and our happiness. A wonderful image that once gave rise to love fades.
Be nice and attentive.This is easier to do if after parting you managed to maintain at least a relatively good relationship. Try to develop what you have left to resume relations with the former. If you work together, treat it during a break with something tasty. You can go together to cinema, cafe, or to both events you are interested in. Surely, during the time you, spent together, you know where his "slack". Use your knowledge to resume relations with the former.
Reminder.There are very effective reminders of pleasant moments from the past - acquaintance, the first kisses, joint trips and disruptions in which you fell together and from which you got out with dignity thanks to the coherence of your team - all this must be reminded from time to time.

Interested in them.An unobtrusive interest in his life - work, possible study or other matters will be pleasant to him. Remember that you can give advice only if he asks you.
Correction.Even if the cause of the gap was not only your behavior or your mistakes, correct yourself. Starting from your mistakes and demonstrating your development to him, you can direct it to this path, as well as interest his idea of \u200b\u200bresuming relationships.

Resume relations with the former: how not to do?

There are behaviors that should be avoided if you decide to return the former happiness. We will talk about them below.

Former Psihichka.If you think that, ignoring his presence, in every possible way he is prying and rude, you can hurt him and force him to return - leave this idea. With such behavior you and delay it from yourself, and humiliate yourself. It is also necessary to control your jealousy. If your partner already has someone, you should not discuss and criticize it-this is a path to nowhere. If he is still alone, especially since he should not resemble and regret it in every way. Become the embodiment of attractiveness and courtesy to resume relations with the former.
The tearful Juliet. Often trying to return the former, the woman tries to put pressure on his feeling of pity. Constantly telling him and the environment about how badly, it hurts, lonely and sadly you will become a burden not only for him, but also for your friends. Another version of this model is constant accusations in his direction. Of course, a man who has a bit of positive qualities will always come to your aid. But he will not love again. But we don’t need pity, right?

Activist.No need to rush to the rescue constantly and constantly call it, this will not help resume relations with the former. So what, that he is alone and cannot cook, stroke or remove it? Are you his mother or housekeeper? Constant naming and attempts to control by phone are also inappropriate. Limit your presence in his life with a reasonable framework, until he himself wants more. And when he wants - do not run to his aid at the first call - you also have life and business.
God dandelion. No need to pretend to be white and fluffy if tears are in the soul. Express him everything that has been caught, write it on paper and burn it, reprimand your girlfriend - keeping everything in yourself and accumulating you will eventually explode and not the best features will appear under the fluff. It is better to say everything at once.