How to get rid of envy of loved ones: a psychologist, forum, reviews

In this article, we will talk why people envy each other, as well as how to deal with this feeling.

Content

Envy is a sufficiently strong emotion that prevents a person from living normally. Although it is not too destructive, even the most rational and adequate person can change beyond recognition. A person can be considered evil, it seems to many that he does not like people. Moreover, it is not in vain that envy is a very bad feeling. It is important to understand that you can’t avoid envy, because it is laid down in a person initially. Nevertheless, there are ways to alleviate this feeling. Let's talk about him.

Why do people envy each other: reasons

Before getting rid of envy, it is important to understand the causes of this phenomenon. In fact, there are not so many of them:

Field of departure. It is expressed in relation to each person, not even to the most successful. It’s just enough that something good happens in his life, and that’s all, a feeling of envy is like it.
There is no desire for self -realization. A person just sits and waits that tomorrow everything will change by itself and life will become better than others.
Inadequate self -esteem. People often consider themselves the best and worthy, and when everything goes to others, then black envy begins. In this case, it is necessary to work with self -esteem so that it enters the limits of normal and is not too high.

How to get rid of envy of loved ones: Psychology

In general, of course, it is quite difficult to get rid of envy, but this does not mean that there are no ways to do this. There are several ways that allow you to effectively cope with your feelings.

Do not be afraid of defeats. Each envious person is partly perfectionist. At the same time, he thinks that if something is done wrong, then this is very bad. If it seems to you that you do not meet your standards, or strangers, then just give yourself the right to make a mistake. Understand that all people are not perfect and this is normal. At the same time, when you look at yourself imperfect, you will definitely become much more confident.
Watch your life. Maybe this is sharply, but in a good way. To easily endure envy, you should have a feeling of independence. This means that you do not have to look at others - you are you. You are unique and can also achieve everything you only wish.
Learn to be grateful. The fact is that envy makes you look at what a person does not have. At the same time, he forgets what he has. So, it is time to change your eyes and look at what is available. At this time, you will definitely understand that you live quite happily and what is happening around will fade into the background. This is quite difficult to do. First of all, write 10 things for which you are grateful. In addition, remember that there are people who live worse than yours, and also try to become a volunteer to help others. In other words, try to give more and you will learn to thank.
Learn empathy. When a person knows how to sympathize and rejoice at others, he no longer envies. As a rule, envious people react with despondency or even anger. They cannot rejoice at others. And you just try to be happy for someone and you will definitely see that you have become a little happier. Moreover, no one will take this away from you. When you begin to understand that envy with your achievements has nothing to do, it will become easier for you yourself. Yes, and you will receive more positive emotions.
Stop the control of everything. Sometimes people who envy strongly want to control everything and everyone. In any case, the rejection of these desires allows you to improve the situation and receive more good emotions. If you try to control everything, then you will just get into the situation that you would not like to.
Do not compare. We are often compared with others, and this makes us feel bad. If you constantly compare yourself with someone, then the failures will be poured one after another. Around there are always those people who have something that you do not have. And this is normal. Better think about what you have. Maybe your colleague is slimmer, but whether she can run a marathon that you do regularly. Maybe girls are hung on your friend, but does he know how to negotiate? Concentrate as much as possible on your own life. People are all different, everyone turns out something better, but something worse, but this does not mean that they are the best.
Think about good. Envy is a bad feeling. She can make her move forward, but for a short while, and she will not do happy. If your colleague received a promotion, then instead of making a dirty trick, it is better to think about how to achieve the same. Even if you think that this is impossible, you should still try. The main thing, do not allow envy to own you.
Love yourself. Happy people who love themselves, as a rule, do not think about what others have. Analyze your thoughts - how do you feel about yourself, how do you think others see you? Next time, instead of criticizing yourself, think about the good. And so do it until it becomes a habit.
Contact a professional. Although envy is a natural feeling, it can be the cause of an unstable emotional situation, or a symptom of a psychological disease.

How to get rid of the jealousy and envy of the boss, colleagues for work: tips, recommendations

It also happens that you have to solve the issue of getting rid of the envy of work colleagues or even a boss. This really happens and you can understand this by some signs:

Gossip. If rumors began to walk about you, which was not there before, then someone wants to annoy you. It is impossible to fight this, the main thing is not to be conducted on provocations. Otherwise, the purpose of the offender will be achieved.
Criticism about and without. If you have something new, then no one will be happy, just grunts and pass by. Well, someone will leave a caustic comment. As a rule, people do not know how to rejoice for others.
You are ignored or avoided. Maybe you are just silent, or even boycott. After all, you are happy, and nobody likes it. Some begin to worry about this.
You are justified and imposed on your opinion. You can find out that suddenly the increase did not work yourself, but simply because the boss liked it. Rarely someone will believe that you are just lucky or you achieved all the hard work.
Nearch achievement. Some may say that you haven’t done anything special, although adequate people would sincerely be happy.
They imitate you. If someone copies your style, then it envies.
You have many competitors. Those who did not want to do anything before have now become active. This is not surprising, because everyone wants to be the best.

Fighting the envy of colleagues, in principle, is not difficult. The main thing is to know how this is done:

Do not contrast. If you also get along in your personal life, then try not to talk about it with those who are not fine. Respect their feelings.
Be open. Then you will receive a lot of trust. And if we talk about themselves something funny and harmless, then the colleagues will perceive you as equal to themselves.
Praise others. Everyone is successful in some ways and he needs praise. Pay attention even to the little things. Everyone loves praise.
Accept traditions. Even if they seem very stupid to you. Try to visit corporate parties, throw yourself on gifts, try to organize leisure.

If the problem is in specific people, then try to find out with them a relationship

How to get rid of envy Orthodoxy: Father's advice

Envy always accompanies a person throughout life. Already the fourth chapter of the book of Genesis, that is, immediately after the expulsion of Adam and Eve from Paradise, speaks of the tragedy of Cain and Abel. Cain envied Abel for the fact that God accepted His victim. Of course, Cain did not listen to God's voice and killed Abel. In punishment, the Lord expelled him. Many Church fathers spoke about this sin and even talked about how to deal with it.

John Chrysostom

He compares envious people with dung beetles, pigs and demons. He considers this feeling a hostility against God. In this sense, the envious is worse than the demon, because he wishes evil to himself like.

For example, two people apply for one position in the company and a high salary. If they both have high material needs, then competition will be strong and a conflict will clearly arise. The one who will be left without a position will aggravate the situation and will always say that he took his place.

John suggested fighting with the disease in the following way: if a person is successful, then this means God is glorified through him. If the other is successful, then it is also glorified through it. If he is your enemy, then you need to make it your friend.

John Kassian Roman

This monk claims that envy cannot be defeated by himself. In response to good, the envious will only become angrier. You should not despair in this case, because John Cassian gives advice on how to overcome it - just pray.

Vasily the Great

This saint gives two simple tips. To begin with, a person must realize that there is nothing to envy, because wealth, glory is all the earthly things that still need to learn how to use normally. The second thing to learn is to transfer envy into creativity in order to achieve virtues. True, in this case, the method is suitable for combating ambition.

If you don’t even think about high, then the advice is quite good. For example, two are fond of playing the piano and one becomes a famous musician. The second would seem to start envious, but he pretends to be risks and studying to break further. That is, if you grow further and develop, as well as rejoice at others, then it is quite possible to achieve, albeit small heights.

Theophan the Recluse

He talked about what needs to be compassion and sympathize with others. When these two qualities become a habit, then there will be no place for envy.

A great example - a lonely lady always envied successful women and suddenly found out that her prosperous friend had a drug addict, and her whole life is just an external beautiful. If envy is not very launched, then the envious will help their girlfriend and together they will cope with the problem.

Maxim Confessor

He advises not to get involved in envy, and he advises to get rid of it according to the commandment of the apostle, that is, to rejoice with those who rejoiced and cry with crying. The most difficult thing is to regret the unfortunate ones. Rejoice for the happiness of others is a conscious action dictated by love.

Gregory the Theologian

He believed that envy is not devoid of justice, because so the sinner receives punishment. It is believed that the envious has a withered face, it looks bad and he has a lot of wrinkles. This person is always dissatisfied with life. By the way, most chronic diseases are manifested precisely in envious people. After all, they believe that it is unfair when someone is more successful than they are.

Ephraim Sirin

Father spoke of agonality, that is, a struggle, when someone competes with others not for life values, but simply to seem cooler. Then he becomes similar to the devil who has one “agonal” spirit with him.

The saint believes that the envious can be considered defeated, he is tormented by someone else's joy. He is unhappy and therefore punished. Well, in order to overcome this bad feeling, you need to look not on the sides, but around you.

Elijah (Minathy)

The saint says that envious people do not see anything good. They are all good annoying. Eyes want to cry and try not to look, but you can’t get away from this, because the envious man cannot come off. It will be easier for him if he switches to another object.

Paisius Svyatorets

He believed that envy is quite funny and it can be overcome simply with the help of common sense. According to him, a person should work with his head in order to save himself from this bad feeling. There is no need to perform great feats, because envy is a passion. And it is true, every adequate person understands that it is bad to envy.

Protopresviter Alexander Shmeman

In his opinion, any comparison is a source of evil. The comparison suggests that everything should be fair, or rather - everyone should be equal.

How to get rid of the envy of others: tips, recommendations

It also happens that not a person himself envies, but wants to get rid of the envy of others. It is important to learn to fight this so as not to lose your loved ones and always stay with them in good relations.

There are some good ways of self -defense from envy:

Do not boast. When a person hears about other people's successes, he works a section of the brain responsible for pain. It turns out that when a person hears about other people's successes, he is tormented. So the first method of struggle is simply not to brag to an envious person.
Envy envious. Some are easily cope with envy, because they understand that these needs are not satisfied with them. And they calm down. This is called "white" envy. When the envy is “black”, this means that a person is not just not satisfied, but also powerless before that. This is due to the fact that he simply does not see his success. If he realizes them, it will become better. So help your envious person realize your strength.
Talk about your failures. When people hear about the misses of others, they are satisfied. Even if you have no habit of boasting, but you can’t hide success, then tell the envious that you had to endure to come to what you have.
Change your environment. If there are only envious people around you, then you should think. Maybe you yourself are to blame for this or are simply not in its place. In any case, if everything is envious of you, then this is not normal. Try to look for problems in yourself and change the environment.

How to get rid of envy in Islam: Features

In resolving the issue of getting rid of envy, it is important to understand that each religion is in this feeling in its own way. So Islam has its own characteristics.

The Prophet Muhammad said that it is impossible to be angry with each other, envy or enmity, because all the people are brothers. If something happened, then let it not last more than three days. It is assumed that during this time you need to make peace. Especially this applies to believers. But in case of failures, in no case should you gloat.
The righteous Foodil ibn ‘Ijad considered all the" black "envious people with hypocrites.
According to Muhammad, you can fight with envy, and you need to. To satisfy your own needs, you need to ask the Almighty through non -disclosure. Especially if the goal has not yet been achieved, because everyone can comprehend envy.
In any case, regardless of religion, envy has always been considered a completely bad feeling that we must fight.

How to get rid of envy: forum, reviews

It is quite difficult to get rid of envy, because a person has to work on himself. Nevertheless, many find support in various forums and leave their reviews, what helped them. This is what people say about the fight against envy:

Video: Mikhail Labkovsky - What is envy? How to get rid of envy?

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