Feeling guilt - what it is: reasons. How to get rid of guilt

In this article, we will talk, which is a feeling of guilt, why it appears and how to fight it correctly depending on the situation.

Content

Feeling guilt is one of the most powerful feelings. At the same time, it is not entirely favorable, because it prevents a person from being himself and living for himself. When a person has a strong feeling of guilt, he, as a rule, lives in the past and therefore, instead of spending energy on development, it goes on experiences. You can and even get rid of such a feeling. In our article you will learn how to do it.

Feeling guilt - what is it?

First of all, you need to deal with general concepts. From the point of view of psychology, guilt is deep regrets about what is deed due to the negative consequences, not only for oneself, but also others. Everyone has it. At the same time, people with mental deviations never want to get rid of guilt, because they do not have it.

In general, to feel guilty for your actions is normal, but if not for long. Then the feeling begins to go out and the person understands that it is necessary to fix it. Then all feelings switch to error correction. However, if the wine gnaws constantly, then psychology considers such guilt a pathology.

Feeling guilt - Psychology: Reasons

Before deciding how to get rid of guilt, you must understand that the same situation can cause several feelings in people. And this is not only wine, but also shame. More precisely, they can arise both separately and both at once.

According to Freud, the main reason for the feeling of guilt is the conflict of reason and instincts. The same applies to selfishness and altruism, when the personal contradicts the public.

Shame appears when a person internally seeks to correspond to the ideals of parents, but he wants to be an independent person. In this case, personal beliefs do not correspond to strangers.

If we talk about the reasons more specifically, then they include:

A specific act, as a result of which there were dangerous or harmful consequences for other people
Thoughts about a perfect act
Committing an act that contradicts social norms or violates their
Infringement of their interest for someone else. This leads to the feeling that a person lives incorrectly and clamps his potential
Destructive style of family education
Unjustified expectation, as well as non -compliance with other people's requirements
Inaction that caused the occurrence of a negative situation
Other people's manipulations in order to cause guilt
Features of character. For example, if a person is suspicious or his empathy is developed, then a feeling of guilt may well appear

How to get rid of guilt: Ways

When a person constantly feels guilty, it becomes difficult for him to live. Sometimes this can even cause a neurotic disorder. A few very simple ways helps get rid of guilt. Your task is to try everyone and find the most suitable for themselves.

So, the ways to get rid of guilt are as follows:

Take the analysis. This must be done. Think when you feel guilty in what situations? If you cause damage with your actions, be sure to ask for forgiveness. The main thing is that you will begin to move in the right direction and draw conclusions.
If the feeling of guilt is associated with a person, then focus on him. Think why he manipulates you. When you understand this, it will be easier for you to resist his actions, and, accordingly, guilt will cease to pursue you.
If a feeling of guilt is not connected with either action or a person, then the matter is in you. Write a letter to yourself and tell you why you feel guilty.
If you know how to relax and meditate, then be sure to ask yourself in the process - “Why am I accusing myself and tormenting?” Stop controlling yourself and let your thoughts flow. Then you will understand why you feel guilty.
It happens that people consciously retain guilt and do not let it go. For example, women after abortion. In such a situation, one must learn to forgive yourself. However, do not abuse this, because the actions are often repeated again. For example, she changed her husband, forgave herself and changed again. After that, the conscience will already be silent.

If none of the above methods helps, then the reason is more complicated and it must be solved along with the psychologist. When a person learns to take responsibility and not be afraid of the consequences, then the feeling of guilt will disappear independently.

How to get rid of guilt - Psychology: Techniques

There are many techniques that will allow you to get rid of guilt. Let's look at the most effective of them:

Forgiveness. This is the best way to cope with an unpleasant sensation. If a person did badly to someone, he must sincerely ask for forgiveness. Conversation by heart is the best way to purify the soul. It happens that even a simple dialog allows you to figure out how to compensate for the damage.
Public repentance. It is always difficult for a person to talk about events when he felt guilty. It seems to him that he is not worthy to treat him well. In order for him to accept himself, he should be told publicly, for example, in the support group, about the situation. This will look at itself from the positive side.
The moral court. Imagine yourself in the courtroom and start judging. There should be no lawyers. When you finish, try to justify yourself, as well as they accused. Often people forget that you can’t predict everything in advance and cannot yet assess the damage.
Provocations of the manipulator. The manipulator consciously causes guilt. For example, one partner, when parting, always accuses the second and does not allow him to leave calmly. It is important to learn how to distinguish manipulations and not succumb to them. You are not required to perform the whims of other people.
Be positive. Even if you really did something bad, then a feeling of guilt is not a very correct reaction to the act. Each person should show the correct reaction. If nothing cannot be fixed, then this will be a great lesson for the future. Perhaps you feel guilty not because of the act itself, but simply consider yourself unworthy. In this case, write your act on one side of the sheet, and on the right all the good deeds. Be sure you will be worthy.

Feeling guilt is an unproductive emotion, and therefore, instead of taking responsibility for his actions, a person condemns and punishes himself. If you have been in this state for too long, then severe depression may develop and it can ultimately lead to a deterioration in physical health.

A teenager's guilt is how to get rid of?

Parents should get rid of guilt in a teenager if it appears. The most important thing is not to initially inspire this feeling for him. In no case should you talk about mistakes publicly. Everything should be done at home and only in private.

In fact, you can get rid of the child very easily if you stop doing what can cause this feeling. In no case do not resort to manipulations. You can shake the still fragile psyche. Talk to him calmly and do not reproach, do not humiliate, and so on. Even if the act was really very bad.

Feeling guilt after alcohol - how to get rid of?

To get rid of guilt after alcohol, you need to understand what the reason is at all. Was there something that went beyond and was there any bad act?

If you really have something to be ashamed, then use one scheme that is tested by time and always works:

Permit guilt. Perhaps it will be unpleasant for you to find out what you did in a drunken frenzy, but it is better to do it.
Forgive yourself. Realize that life cannot be lived without mistakes. Surely, not only you did something wrong.
Ask for forgiveness from others. If you did someone bad, even if you do not remember this, then be sure to apologize, but only sincerely, from the heart.
Continue to live as before. When you achieve forgiveness and establish relationships, continue to live as before.
Draw conclusions. Remember what happened and do not forget about it. The next time, before you do something, you will already stop yourself.

Of course, this scheme is not the only correct one, but it gives its fruits.

How to get rid of guilt after betrayal before her husband?

Of course, if there is treason and I want to get rid of guilt, then this will not work quickly. If, for example, the husband is a good person, it will be even more difficult. This is also affected by the presence of her husband’s betrayal, satisfaction from treason. There are several recommendations that allow you to get rid of guilt:

Support. Do not soak what happened in yourself. Share your feelings with someone you can trust. Get advice from him. If such a person is not, then try to find groups where such problems are discussed. A good option is to visit a psychotherapist.
Forgiveness. If you need forgiveness, and therefore you feel guilty, then try to admit that everyone makes mistakes. Of course, this is not an excuse, but it becomes easier. You can also write everything on paper. Express everything. If you are afraid to leave the sheet, then burn it. And with him, drop the past.
Changes. The fault passes over time and therefore, instead of thinking about how to get relief, just survive it. Over time, the feeling will subside. The only way to live without guilt is not to deceive. If you love another, then better leave. If you decide to stay, then do not change anymore.

Feeling guilt in front of the mother - how to get rid of?

It happens that I want to get rid of guilt before my mother. Perhaps in situations where you have to feel guilty, a conflict of beliefs arises. That is, you understand that you should protect yourself, but your mother cannot be offended.

Yes, you are an adult and must protect your point of view and you have arguments. Well, for the second they are not even needed. It often happens that a person discards an opinion that has no arguments.

That is why, if you have a feeling of guilt, you must understand why this is happening. When you think, for example, that you can’t offend mom. Or maybe she is now offended by you?

If you offend your mother, then you do something bad and the perception will be negative. If you just ask not to intervene in something, then you do nothing wrong. After all, it happened because you do not do as mom wants. That is, resentment is a certain manipulation.

So, in order to get rid of guilt before mom, share your actions and her feelings. You cannot influence the latter. If she understands that you have the right to say no, then there will be no offense. So, if you come to the conclusion that your actions are not related to a bad act, then there will be no guilt.

How to get rid of guilt before a child?

Of course, raising a child is good. But it happens that everything is nervous both children and adults. In this case, you need to find a certain balance and understand how to get rid of guilt and when it will be correct.

Sometimes to blame yourself normal. This is unpleasant, but it happens often. Parents today are not very confident and have to develop their education strategies. Having recognized the normality of neurosis, its influence can be reduced.
Do not trust the psychologists completely. Psychology is a science. And in the case of children, she is unscrupulous. Understand the child - these are your genes and his behavior is lined up in the family. So trust yourself.
You do not fully control the development of the child. You never can know in advance how exactly events will affect him. Even those children who have paid little attention to grow strong and vice versa. Again, trust yourself and be attentive to the child.
Respect the personality of the child. You must allow him to make decisions and create an interesting environment and be sure to show an example. If you arouse interest and support it, the child will become a strong personality.
Do not save the child from everyday life. Every child must learn to overcome difficulties. When his parents protect him from them, he loses the opportunity to independently make decisions and gain experience.
Always praise the child and yourself. Never concentrate on mistakes. On the contrary, praise for success. Everyone has difficulties, but your support will help to cope with them.
Find an interesting activity for yourself. This is very important because parents often, without realizing their ambitions and desires, switch to children. This is very bad, because children have to obey and they lose the right to choose, as well as their individuality.

Parental neuroses take place over time, but it is important to learn to cope with him so that the constant feeling of guilt before the child does not persecute.

How to get rid of guilt before the deceased?

When someone dies, it is always difficult. Society does not welcome long suffering and in every possible way tries to pull a person from there. And usually this does not happen, but only irritation opens. And it seems that having released everything, betrayal is committed. Yes, the stronger the love for a person was, the more difficult it will be. Usually, to survive grief, it takes at least a year.

Remember that the grief will pass. This does not mean that you will forget a person. No, you will be sad, but it will no longer be deep grief.

Do not drive the memories. If, as they say, then live these moments. In no case do not try to drive them away.
Cry. This is fine. This becomes easier, and this also indicates that the experiences move in the right direction.
Talk about the deceased and your experiences. Find the one you can talk to. I always want to share. This will become easier.
Do not close in yourself. Woe must be worried with someone. Even if you do not want to speak, someone should be near. It becomes especially easier after communicating with those who survived this.
After the first year, collect and give out the things of the deceased. You can not leave everything as during his lifetime. You must let him go.

How to get rid of guilt after a divorce?

As a rule, many fathers or mothers who remain alone want to get rid of guilt after a divorce. The fact is that some adhere to the opinion that if there is no love, then you need to live at least for the sake of children. And from here a feeling of guilt forms. It presses and does not allow living normally.

It is important to facilitate your soul and try to cope with this destructive feeling:

Think why specifically you feel guilty. Often the emotion is blurry and when the situation clarifies, it becomes easier. It happens that such feelings arise when promises are not fulfilled or some responsibilities are not fulfilled well enough. When you understand what the reason, it will be easier for you.
Are they fair to themselves? You need to be more honest with you. Are you really to blame? And only you are alone? No need to hang the guilt for the fact that it is impossible to control or for the actions of others.
Ask for forgiveness. If you are really to blame, then apologize. Keep in mind that getting rid of guilt and again to gain trust will not work out immediately.
If you are not to blame, change the attitude to the situation. If you can’t do it on your own, then contact a therapist. It happens that the habit of considering himself guilty of the collapse of the family is so strong that only a specialist helps to cope with this.
Wine and sadness - not the same. You need to learn to distinguish these feelings. If you definitely understand what you feel, then reduce the destructive effect of these emotions.
Change the tone. Talk to yourself. For example, write a letter on behalf of a friend. What would he tell you in such a situation?
Think that your self -flagellation is not easier for children. As long as you live the past, you are losing time. Instead, it is better to have fun with your children.
Everyone is mistaken. Everyone is not perfect and everyone has mistakes. So it doesn’t matter what decision you made, for sure, this was made of the best motives.
What is your fault? Maybe you are afraid or are you depressed? Here you should contact a specialist as soon as possible.
Focus on children. Think about what they need from you. Right here and now. Having devoted yourself to them, your feeling of guilt will disappear very quickly.

Be sure to give yourself time to survive a divorce. Even if there will be guilt, but it will pass after a while.

Feeling guilt - how to get rid of: forum, reviews

Video: Deep feelings of guilt: how to get rid of forever?

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