How to get rid of selfishness: the advice of a psychologist. Egoism in a relationship: how to identify and overcome?

It can be quite difficult to see in a person of an egoist, especially if he is dear to you. Some of us are excessively kind, so they will always justify the selfish of an egoist. But those who use people, pursuing only their own benefits, are attached to those who give the slightest slack, completely not caring that someone is doing this.

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Do you want to get rid of selfishness? It is not as simple as it seems at first glance. But you will definitely be able to overcome this negative feeling if you make efforts.

How to determine an egoist, can a person get rid of selfishness?

Egoism is one of the most acute problems of our society. He not only spoils the relations of people, but also prevents the egoist himself to adapt to the requirements of society. This problem should not be very launched, since over time it will be more difficult and more difficult to eradicate it.

Let's figure out how to define an egoist together:

The egoist tries to take care of himself only, does not notice the problems that others happen to others.
He does not like others, does not sacrifice his own time, position, freedom for the sake of loved ones, never inferior to anyone.
He believes that he is the smartest, capable, worthy of others. If other people are happy, this offends his personality.
Envals others. If a person is not able to be something better than another, begins to offend a person, underestimates his achievements and the significance of victories.
He uses people to get benefits for himself. He does not regret when he breaks the relationship with someone, as he considers these people absolutely useless for himself.

It turns out not a very good portrait. But experts say that to eliminate primitive egoism Not only possible, but necessary. Develop a reasonable egoism. Thanks to him, you will succeed in life.

There are a huge number of recommendations, methods by which you get rid of selfishness. We offer you to get acquainted with the most popular and effective further.

How to overcome selfishness, what to do with selfishness: the top 14 tips that will help get rid of selfishness

Do you close your eyes to the mountains of people, do not help if you are asking for help? Never use people to get benefits for yourself. The main goal is for you - be a person in every situation. For you, these words seem common enough, then we will move on to specific advice, as fighting selfishness.

If you notice that you constantly think only about yourself or you are often called an egoist, study the following points and try to bring them to life to get rid of selfishness:

Start with small changes. For example, take an active part in the family game, lose in it. If it is difficult for you to come to terms that there are people who can surpass you, learn to lose. Understand that this is not the worst in life. Take a loss, congratulate a person who could win. Look to the winner in the eye, tell him: “Is it true, the game turned out to be excellent?”
Change your way of thinking.For this, you do not need to use in excess of effort. Raise yourself with respect, and then little will remain of excessive love for yourself. In the same way, appreciate and think about people, and then in response they will respect you.
Sincerely say thanks even for small services. In time, the spoken words of gratitude are expensive. Having developed such a habit in yourself, you can almost half defeat selfishness in yourself. After all, gratitude is the message of positive energy from one person to another. And warm words cannot but strengthen relationships, while forming trust and openness between people. From here will arise and respect for himself. Can't you sincerely thank others? Then, for starters, do it a little pretending to be overpower. If loved ones will provide you with any services, be sure to thank you.
When you talk to people, look into their eyes. So that you do not feel during the conversation, thanks to visual contact you will show respect for a person, even if you do not agree with his opinion, you are not interested in what he says. Always show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully to him. At the same time, its selfishness should be “driven” into distant back streets, attaching diligence in building a completely new model of their behavior.
Listen to everything you tell you. If during the conversation you will show that you are bored, you will put yourself as a narcissistic egoist. Talking with people, pay attention to them, fully focus on the conversation. Learn to listen to others, discuss with them various topics that are interesting not only to you, but also to others. You can ask questions, so you will show that you are interested in what your interlocutor tells.
Read high -quality literature. Scientists were able to prove that people who often read can better empathize with loved ones. This recommendation will certainly help in overcoming selfishness and “pacify” any negative emotions. Submitted into the literary world, a person expands his consciousness, and everyday life realities will be perceived in a completely different way. An understanding of the feelings of others who find themselves in one or another life situation comes. Along with this, the need for concern for itself leaves, in return, sensitivity and susceptibility of consciousness will arise.
Read useful literature
Take care of animals.A person has a need to participate in the life of a living being, which is nearby. Communication with “our smaller brothers” powerfully affects the state inside us, helping the restoration of the emotional background. If you have a dog or a cat, then selfishness can no longer dominate. He gets more to the share of those people who did not find classes to their liking. A pet, showing you your love, usually gives you joy and inspiration, makes your life brighter and more substantial.
Show care
Take care of others.If selfishness is very strongly developed, then he forces a person to surround only himself, a loved one. Such a person will not have a desire to empathize with others, he is not worried about the opinion of other people. But if you need to take care of someone else, then the situation will fundamentally change. Own egoism will cease to be a “nutritious environment” for the development of shortcomings, because a person, in addition to himself, will have to love and take care of someone else.
Helping people, help yourself.Remember how the proverb says: "Do good, and throw it into the water." So, making “good”, do not expect in response to some benefits for yourself. Help those people who would like to help. You will immediately notice: you are not alone. You will no longer experience aggression and disrespect from other people.
Meet new people.Burning new acquaintances, a person acquires the ability of another vision of a situation that is different from his own. If life is filled with communication, it has no place to climb on itself and on its attitude. Each personality found on our life path is a carrier of some information that you may need. Therefore, do not give up new acquaintances - this is the right way fighting selfishness.
Love not only yourself.Effective method c the fight against selfishness is the education of a wonderful feeling in itself - love for your family, parents and others. Love will reveal a lot of new sensations in you, you will notice how the world has changed for the better. Probably, you will not succeed in experiencing love for someone overnight. To do this, you should make a list that will include the positive qualities of a person to whom you want to experience love. The list of good ones will not be superfluous faces of society and the world as a whole. The compiled lists must be put in a prominent place. Looking through them over and over again, you will get positive and can change your view of people.
Creativity is like healing from selfishness.If you suffer from excessive egoism, work in full force, and selfishness will evaporate over time. Ideally - creative work, But if you are indifferent to creativity, look for yourself to your liking. You will say goodbye to selfishness forever, and in your chosen field you can achieve success. BUT sensation of happiness and joy from well -completed work “It will be a pleasant bonus for you.”
Keep calm!People prone to egoism are constant anxiety. It is necessary to overcome it so that egoism has nothing to “profit from”. In order for mental harmony to reign, it is worthwhile to build your life again. Imagine that you are a recently born child, and your whole subsequent life depends on how it begins. Do what will subsequently help you achieve your goals. Remember about pleasant moments, And they will certainly come true in your life.
Throw away fear from your life.Fear for himself is one of signs of selfishness. It is in a constant search for safety, warmth and love, but, as a result, there is disappointment all over the world and a magnificent color blooms for itself love. Without a doubt, you need to love yourself, but not excessively. And at the same time, it’s worth thinking and taking care not only about yourself, but also about other people who are usually no better, but no worse than you. Realizing all this, you expaculate both fear and excessive love.

How to get rid of selfishness: a psychologist's advice

Unreasonably selfishness will never appear, certain efforts will be required to identify where it grows from. Usually, selfishness begins to grow from distant childhood, this includes improper upbringing of parents and the influence of society or school. If the child was humiliated, insults or did not understand him, then for adulthood - this is the first candidate for egoists.

How to get rid of selfishness - the advice of a psychologist:

Ask for help from people if you need it. People who are very focused on themselves cannot recognize that they are wrong, ask others to help. Do not learn from your own mistakes. Recognize that you are not in all the pros, ask for help from relatives and acquaintances who may and want to help. If you are asking for help from people, you admit that these people are better than you. But this is not bad at all, even good.
Let loved ones show the initiative. Do you think everyone should listen to your opinion? The next time you get into some company, do not take the initiative in your own hands, let others show themselves. Of course, you can defend your own opinion, but only when it really needs it. For example, if no one wants to listen to your opinion or you know exactly that your option is considered the best. Stop being a selfish person does not mean becoming a person who does not have a firm nature. This means to be a flexible person.
Do not make your conversation with the interlocutor resemble competitions. People who love only themselves often love to discuss only their person. Never talk to the interlocutor, do not try to appear higher than him. Listen carefully to the interlocutors, only after that begin to answer. Do not try to “surpass” someone during the conversation. If, for example, a friend shared the joy of the bicycle bought, do not say that you were able to purchase a new car.
Go out of the comfort zone. Do you live in a world that is closed to the rest? And it is not strange that you are constantly concentrated only on yourself. Try to experience something else, completely new for yourself, which is unusual for you. You will become more than a new one, you will be easier to show your own humility. For example, get acquainted with the culture of some country. Be sure to go on a trip, get to know the people who live next to you is a great way to get rid of selfishness.
Go out of the comfort zone
Communicate more with people with whom you have similar interests. It is difficult for many people to understand that they are not the only ones on the planet. Whatever interests, views you have, there will be those people who will like them. Perhaps you like to listen to classical music. Find like -minded people, communicate with them on an equal footing. If you have few acquaintances that you constantly communicate with, get acquainted with someone else. Do not tell them only to yourself, find out better than new friends.

How to identify an egoist in a relationship?

In the world there is no such person who would wish him to be used, but nevertheless, these very “blood -sucking” without a twinge of conscience use and manipulate those people who do not have souls in them. Egoists in relationships usually determine the sacrifices of good and devotees. And it is precisely these qualities that often prevent them from understanding who they let into their lives.

There are some signs by which an egoist can be identified in a relationship. Here is some of them:

Everything should be subordinated only to its conditions. He does not accept your rights to independence. He is not considered either your plans or your time. He does not take into account your efforts and emotional needs. Without its preliminary approval, you cannot conduct your leisure time as you see fit. It is your partner that will make a decision where you can go, with whom to meet and what you will do. He doesn’t care about your ideas - as a rule, they are constantly criticized or ignored. If you feel all this in your life - without a doubt, you are shameless use. There can be no real relationship when someone alone is not ready to sacrifice something for the sake of another or compromise.
From a man of an egoist in a relationship They are continuous negative emotions. You constantly neglect, condemn, criticize, Often sarcastically, in a word, simply “drown” in a negative. Is this not the purest water of selfishness? Warm ones cannot be built trusting relationship On such a negative basis. In addition, often such a person does not want to get rid of selfishness at all. Everything suits him in this life.
All efforts are only from you. If you do not feel any in a relationship efforts and efforts From the part of your partner, it means that he is not interested in anything. He seems to be alienated. Please note: if you are not considered to be considered to maintain relationships over time, spend your money and energy, and your beloved is passive at the same time, then you have something to think about - so Egoists behave in a relationship. If he does not want to spend for the construction of relations neither his strength, nor time, nor money, then why should you do all this?

A man egoist in a relationship seriously does not perceive your relationship. From your partner, the phrase never sounds: "This is my girlfriend/her boyfriend", Since it does not see anything serious in your connection. If you raise the question of changes in your relationship, then it immediately feels like a wave of tension or it is simply silent. From here we can conclude, either the burden of the continuation of the relationship between you, or their development is not priority for him. In this case, there are two options for events: insist on what you want either to part.
You notice flirting with others. There is a category of people who, through flirting, mix individuals of the opposite sex. You will not surprise their partners and cannot be upset, because They know such a feature behind them. Only in this case can flirting can be justified, in other situations this is usually a manifestation of infidelity and selfishness. After all, a person is still on your feelings and how you will be unpleasant from flirting with another.

Egoist does not think about your feelings

How to get rid of selfishness in a relationship?

How to get rid of selfishness in a relationship? On the way of overcoming selfishness in relations between people, Start developing sympathy. When you talk with people, do not mentally evaluate the circumstances in your own benefit, switch to feelings. Think what desires you have. Do not subjugate the situation in your favor, do not press emotionally on people. Develop attention, be polite, sympathize with others. If someone close to you to contact you, listen to a person, enter his position. Over time, you can learn to respect the opinions of others, empathize with them.
Live only the present. Egoism is often developing due to the alarm about what will happen in the future or what happened in the past. Therefore, live here and now. Understand that there is reality only today, learn to do good deeds, which is important to you right now. The rest is only an illusion. Mercury desires may develop because of it. Give up such desires, enjoy the present.
Do not make excuses. To become better than others, people are often trying to find excuses, explanations of their actions. Such “exploits” help people when someone criticizes them. Get rid of emotional needs. Admit that you are an ordinary person. Do not build protection of your own superiority using excuses. Let them only remain dataTry to convey them calmly and confidently. Learn to build a dialogue and complete it only when both you and the partner will be satisfied.
Understand that all material is considered temporary. Realize that everything in this world is given to us, is only temporary. The car can break over time, clothes are worn out. Do you really devote maximum time and effort to achieve mercenary goals? Understand that it is important that beloved, loved ones and friends are near you. You will succeed in everything else when you have support and support.
Help your loved ones. Egoism can eat our feelings of pleasure that people receive from good. Such a good replaces the desire to achieve something new. This is how the life of an egoist, which follows material goals. If you change, you will feel like a happy person. You can help your family achieve their goals.

Apil the idyll in a relationship, getting rid of selfishness

Do not forget that creating ideal relationships with people is possible only if you can develop adequate self -esteem and get rid of selfishness. Develop an understanding of your significance, but do not exaggerate it. Review the usual scenarios of superiority over family people. When you communicate with someone, do it on equal terms, respect others, their rules and opinions. So you can overcome selfishness and create pleasant for yourself and others a pleasant environment.

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