What is a hyper -beep over a child, husband, wife: concept. Why is hyperopeca manifested: causes, signs. How to get rid of parents's hyperopecks?

In this article we will find out what is a hyper -beep of parents, in a relationship and how to deal with it.

Content

Taking care of their children is normal, but only more and more often happens that parents are overly patronized their children. They give them too little freedom and do not allow them to make decisions on their own. The opposite situation is also dangerous when there is no attention at all. So, for children a poor sign is excessive custody, as well as its absence. Let's find out with you how to find the very middle ground and do not overdo it with the care of the child.

What is a hyper -beep over a child: concept

Hyperopecake of parents, in psychology, is called hyperprothecy. Simply speaking, this is too strong care for the child.

Hyperopeca is characterized by the strong desire of parents to constantly protect the child even from the slightest risk, to protect against dangers, and most often far -fetched, and also create conditions so that he is always nearby and create attachment of feelings. In addition, parents make the children do as they think more safely.

It is important to understand that hyperopeca may appear out of a desire to take care of the child from the first days of life. At the same time, as the baby grows, the manifestations of this feeling increase. So, the child has learned helplessness when it is difficult for him to make decisions even in the simplest situations without parents.

As a rule, hyperopeca is found in families where an authoritarian type of relationship prevails. That is, one of the parents is the main one and makes such decisions that should be executed without disputes. Accordingly, the authoritarian parent subjugates the child, demanding that he do as he says. At the same time, he tries to make sure that the second parent does not affect the process of educating influence. The complexity of such relationships is that already in adulthood a child behaves exactly the same.

Another possible model is when one parent emphasizes his achievements and significance. In this case, the main tool is the child - from the very small age it is recorded in all kinds of circles, and for any success is extolled. In this form, the relationship is often associated with permissiveness.

Hyperopeca over her husband in a relationship: Features

If even in relation to the children of the Hyperopeck parents, it does not appear, it can find a way out in another place. So, one of the couple can take too much its second half. At first, this favorably affects the relationship, but over time the situation is aggravated. Often, psychologists compare this with parental hyperopeca when the child grows up with an egoist or hypocrite.

First, let's talk about women and girls. They have a maternal instinct by nature. This is not a very dangerous situation, unlike male hyper -beams, but still there are also enough shortcomings.

First of all, it is worth saying that this type of custody has no advantages, because such tactics will make any relationship simply unbearable or too routine. You can’t handle a man only by the gingerbread method, the whip should always be present. The man is easily spoiled, but to make him the best, you still need to try, which is not possible for everyone. Remember the main rule - do not blow dust off him, because it will not answer for long.

Among the shortcomings of this approach in relations stand out:

He will feel a child. This is very annoying, because every man wants to feel independent and able to solve any problems, and not feel helplessness before his woman.
Infanticity will worsen. That is, if your man is infantile, then he will become even more. When his parents took care of him, he will only be glad that he had a new mother. Of course, this will affect his skill and desire to earn more, as well as strive for success. He can become completely lazy - play a computer, do nothing at home, drink alcohol and so on.
He will take everything for granted. He does not have to do anything so that you love him, and therefore he begins to perceive love, as granted. This makes an egoist out of it, and can also provoke treason, because the image of the mother completely repel all sexual desire.
The woman is nervous. When a man behaves like a spoiled child, a woman has to endure it, and it’s almost impossible to return everything to her place, because he will either have to endure it further or part.
It is likely to encounter Alfons. He will accept love and care, and also use her money. This is such a parasite.

That is what happens in those women who are too much care of their men. Sooner or later, she will definitely meet the one who breaks her heart and leaves nothing after herself.

Hyperopeca over his wife in a relationship: Features

Another situation is when women have to deal not with a hyperopeca of parents, but a husband. Of course, every woman wants to feel weak and defenseless. When she has this, it will be much simpler with her in a relationship, but too excessive concern will not be beneficial either. Especially if jealousy is hidden behind the care.

Unlike female hyperopeca, male has certain advantages:

You can feel like a princess. The man definitely does not want to part with a woman if he takes care of her. This means that he feels responsible for her. Perhaps the feelings are too aggravated, but it may not affect the relationship too much.
A carefree life. Men who are prone to custody are able to give their chosen one a pleasant life without any problems. She blooms in front of her eyes, gets the opportunity to engage in her favorite business. It will never be difficult with him. The main thing is that he always retains generosity.
Bright emotions. When the relationship is simple and there are no domestic problems in them, you can safely switch to feelings and emotions. If a man tries to take on the maximum number of problems, then this speaks of his love.

Agree, such relationships on any side are pleasant, but do not forget that this is all a significant and very large drawback behind this. Hyperopeca may indicate that the man is very jealous. This will be visible almost immediately. If he looks sweet and caring, but constantly checks your phone and pages in social networks, then he is clearly jealous of you. Such a custody does not lead to anything good, it only destroys the relationship. It is possible that your man is a tyrant, a manipulator or just a toxic person who should not even contact.

Remember that there are no ideal people. The best partners are those who can work on themselves and adapt to some situations. Remember that love requires transformation, changes and flexibility. You can’t do without it.

Why is hyperopeca manifested: reasons

As a rule, the Hyperopecake of parents is manifested due to certain personal goals and emotional state. The following factors contribute to this style of education:

Militability. When the parent constantly feels trouble, danger and he still has a good imagination, he begins to protect children from any careless step
Perfectionism. Every woman wants to be an ideal mother so that she has an obedient and smart child. This goal is achieved through rigid control of the child’s actions, as well as restricting his actions
The need to be self -realized. It happens that education is the only area where the parent should show all their best qualities. Due to hyperpecks, career or personal failures are compensated
Guilt. The parent is hostile to the child, he is constantly unsatisfied with him and disappointed. In the end, the parent wants to compensate for such feelings because he feels guilty
Inertia. The inability to adapt, adapt to the child causes hyper -beam. Parents try to take care of the baby as a one -year -old when he needs maximum attention
Lack of love. When parents have some failures in life, they compensate for positive emotions at the expense of children. After all, only they are capable of pure love

How to recognize hyperopeck: signs

To understand whether the parents are present, it is important to know how it is manifested. So, the signs are as follows:

Parents try to intercede for the child and deprive him of the opportunity to stand up for themselves. For example, they come to school to talk with offenders. Only they do not think that they spoil the child’s reputation, and this can poorly affect his development.
For example, the child fell. And what do grandparents do instead of help? Give sweets or toys. In such a situation, the child becomes socially dependent and his self -esteem is overestimated. In addition, this gradually becomes the cause of manipulation.
Another situation - a child who has already become older, cannot even be in a separate room. Parents constantly control it and, thereby, interfere with normal development.
Another sign is the child’s restrictions. Children love freedom and any restrictions for them are not too good. Often, when almost everyone prohibits the child, they become rebels and even representatives of certain crops. Moreover, they may not comply with restrictions and social norms.
The whip and the gingerbread in raising children need to be used correctly. When the mother literally controls every step of the daughter, and the father of the son, then any way beyond the framework of the parents becomes the cause of a strict punishment.
Often parents try to focus the child's attention on one area of \u200b\u200blife, for example, study. And if the child is not in the way they imagined, then pressure begins. Over time, a child forms perfectionism, which interferes with the normal formation of personality.

Diagnostics of children with hyperopecake of parents: Ways

In general, the parents of the parents, as a rule, does not bother. At the same time, the children themselves do not even realize that they are baking too much about them. So they cannot even assume the presence of hyperopeca. As a rule, only specialists in the study of the emotional sphere are possible.

For this, methods such as:

Conversation. The psychologist conducts a conversation with his parents and asks about the features of education, is interested in complaints and anxiety, and also learns data on the characteristics of the child. When composing a complete picture, the psychologist understands whether hypercontrol is or absent.
Observation. All children who are too careful for parents have certain characteristics of behavior. Such children are most often constrained, disturbing, they have obsessive movements of different parts of the body, and they also try to avoid visual contact with adults.
Family drawing. This allows you to identify hyperopeck when the child draws the dominant from the parents primarily, in the center and large. He draws himself side by side and very small.
Tests. The psychologist offers the child different pictures and if he talks about the situations in the family, then he is under a hyperopeca.
Questionnaires. This method is used for parents. It allows you to determine the type of education of the child, the installation of parents and how distort them.

Hyperopecake of parents - how to get rid of?

Parents hyperopecake are such a behavior that it is important to fight. In this case, the work should be carried out both with parents and with children.

This is done through several methods:

Parents consultations. The specialist shows parents other ways of education and explains how they affect the child. During such discussions, adults should realize the existence of a problem, as well as understand their causes. Moreover, their task is to recognize what harm to the child causes hyperopic.
Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy. At personal sessions with parents, the psychologist considers mistakes in their behavior, as well as reasons. He proposes to consider and play different situations that allow you to maintain confident behavior, as well as calm. After several such sessions, as a rule, most of the fears and anxiety recedes.
Family sessions. Different trainings in the interaction between family members are held on them. The main goal in this case is to go beyond the usual education and getting used to the new model. At the same time, the psychologist gives parents homework, which the family performs together and then talks about the results.

Each parent should initially critically evaluate his own psychological state, monitor his fears and anxieties, as well as avoid transferring his problems from childhood to a child.

Psychologist's recommendations for hyperopeck: tips

Hyperope of parents really represents the problem. Psychologists to get rid of this state recommend that you adhere to some rules:

Let the child make mistakes. Let him try everything, touch, experiment
Teach the child to ask for help, but only slow down at the moment when you see that he can handle it on his own
Control your feelings. You should not have pity or guilt, but respect the child
Let the child feel the results of his actions. It doesn't matter if they were good or bad
Respect the suffering of the child and in no case do not kill and do not hide them. Help him cope with this emotion. Even from your silent support there will be a lot
Support attempts to solve the problems that led to hysteria. Or return the child back to this situation if he refused to solve it. See where he experiences difficulties and how you can help
Do nothing for the child to just save time. He doesn’t know how to do anything now, but he will quickly learn and be able to cope in the future himself
The privileges of the child should be well -deserved, and not just provided just like that
Control your own anxiety. It is sometimes justified, but most often indicates insufficient courage to solve the problem
Do not be afraid to tell your child about your own needs, which you do not like or offends. This will teach him to notice other people's needs
Support the child’s independence, praise him and observe how he tries and copes himself. Let it be difficult and long, but still he will do it himself

Hyperopeca of parents over children - what are the consequences?

Hyperopecake of parents gives nothing good. Depending on the child himself, his gender and age, all this can manifest itself in different ways.

So, if the mother takes care of her daughter too much, then this does not allow her to get some personal experience in life and learn to make decisions. The girl should learn to conduct households, at least a little, and it doesn’t even matter if she needs it or not. Mom can completely protect her daughter from household chores, because she will still have time to "darken with this." Such an installation of a girl gives the impression that all things are in marriage are torment.

If mom bakes too much over her son, then he does not become responsible and ready to create a family. He continues to live with his parents, and if he marries, his wife becomes the second mother for him. So it is very important that the son is growing up - he makes an independent choice, establish communication and helps around the house. This will allow him to gain life experience and learn to make decisions.

When even in adulthood parents continue to patronize children, they do not have any their own values \u200b\u200band knowledge. In many ways, this is determined by the attitudes of parents and the child himself cannot abstract them. People who are brought up under such control do not know how to observe personal boundaries. This is because their experience is limited to just such a manner of behavior.

Adult children are not able to build their lives, and any attempts to start a relationship remain without success. If relations and life are formed, then parents begin to crush that the child “should” them for the entire time of education. It is extremely difficult to get rid of this pressure without spoiling with their native relationships.

Video: Anna Kiryanova: How to get rid of parents's hyperopecks?

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