In what cases there is no need to apologize: 17 cases and things for which there is no need to ask for forgiveness

Undoubtedly, it is very pleasant to communicate with intelligent people, unlike the ignoramus. Well, from whom you want to stay away - it is from the boor and rude, in whom the word “sorry” is completely absent in their vocabulary, but more than enough.

But it happens that a well-mannered person tires with his endless “sorry-sorry”, often pronounced completely out of place. Most likely, he does not even notice this annoying habit of his annoying habit, but often repeated words turn into parasitic words, which simply cut the ear to an unprepared person.

In what cases do not need to apologize?

“Do not bring anything to the extreme. Delicacy too "- wrote Erich Maria Remarck, and was absolutely right. By the way, he put his thought into Gottfried Lenz’s mouth - one of the main characters of the novel “Three Comrades”, who never apologized to anyone, but this did not prevent him from always remaining the soul of any company.
Do such an experiment on yourself: during the day, listen to your words. Do you often apologize, and for what reason? If you have guilty in front of someone in something, then ask this person forgiveness, God himself told.
But if you notice that you say phrases like: “I apologize, could you transfer money to a ticket?”; “Sorry to distract, how much does a kilogram of your apples cost?”; "Sorry, dear, can you invite you to the dance?" etc., then in this case, urgently engage in your re -education. Constantly apologize for what I did not do is not tactfulness at all, but rather Moveton.

So, you do not need to apologize in such cases:

Because of their marital status.

Each person has his own moral restrictions. One acquaintance will not poke his nose into your personal affairs, considering it unacceptable for himself. And the other is sincerely sure that he has the right to climb into your soul with his questions.
You do not have enough spirit to abruptly interrupt the conversation, considering it to be tactless on your part. Do not tell curious why you acted in one way or another, because your personal life does not concern them at all.
The number or absence of children, former and current husbands or wives are only your problems or, conversely, - happiness if everything in your life suits you. Therefore, do not apologize for the fact that someone does not like your marital status, and therefore a feeling of guilt is gnawing at you.
Yes, you are not to blame for anyone! Briefly answer your annoying interviewer something like: “I am not married and happy”; “I divorced, and at the moment my bachelor life suits me”; "I have no children, but I do not suffer about this", and quickly leave him. It is worth doing this several times, and it will immediately become easier for you, and you no longer want to apologize to the strangers for you.

Because of the desire to fulfill your dream.

The people who are enthusiastic about some dream often at first at first earn money and act incorrectly-at least others think so. They begin to condemn such a person who was unlike them by the eyes, and sometimes in the eyes.
Hearing reproaches addressed to him, he can begin to be ashamed of his behavior, but he does not want to betray his dream. So that they do not pester him too intrusively with their conversations, moralizing and uncomfortable questions, it is easier for him to say: “Sorry,” than to defend your position.
An extraordinary person will rather say the words of the apology as a concern for the feelings of his visuals, but not at all because of his moral weakness. And the latter will assume that he apologizes because of unbelief in his strength and plans, and therefore he does not defend his point of view.
In no case do not ask for forgiveness for the fact that go to your dream, try to convince your loved ones that otherwise you are simply not able to live. And outsiders do not have to know all this at all! And then: many great people were not understood and not appreciated by their contemporaries. Suddenly you are also one of them?

Due to the fact that they did not live up to someone else's expectations.

Often we apologize for not justifying someone's hopes, not because we are really ashamed, but because I do not want to get involved in another conflict. They expected you that you would become a big scientist or a successful businessman/business woman, and you are standing at the machine/selling flowers. We must apologize for this.
They expected you to go to the university, and you went to college. An apology again. The words of love were expected from you, and you started talking about some of your affairs. Sorry again! They expected you that you would marry/marry a rich man, and you chose a couple of a poor family. Excuse me, please!
Are you tired of constantly apologizing for your actions and decisions? Why should you always do something for the sake of someone else, and not for yourself?

Remember: no one owes anything to anyone, and everyone has the right to build his life as he wants. In such cases, neither to apologize for this, nor you need to make excuses at all, otherwise you will constantly feel discomfort.

Due to the lack of knowledge in some area.

Not one, even the smartest person can have knowledge of everything in the world. If you don’t know something, then this is not surprising or shameful.
And if you honestly admit this, then you do not need to ask for this “shortcoming”.
It is better to admit in your ignorance than to appear before other bastards - such a person will really be ridiculous.

Because of the truth.

Not everyone will be able to tell a person the truth in the eyes. Even in cases where it is necessary to do this, many have a sense of tact - “I really don’t want to tell a person unpleasant things for him”, or a sense of fear - “it is not known how he will react to the truth that I will say, suddenly rolls a scandal” .
If it is impossible to keep silent, but at the same time I want to say to a person: "Sorry that I had to open your eyes to the truth", then explain to him another truth - relative to yourself. Be sure to tell him that you discovered the truth to him not because they are to blame for something in front of him, and not because it gave you pleasure, but the only one out of a sense of compassion.
If truthful information is very painful, first prepare for it a person who is in ignorance. This can be done by a couple of such phrases: "I need to talk to you. I didn’t want to hurt you, but no one else will tell you the truth. ”
If in response a verbal approval or an encouraging gesture follows, boldly tell the truth. But do it with clarity and calm - an apologetic tone will only harm you. You will be helped to convey an unpleasant information for the addressee good, soft words, as well as your sincerity and kindness. In this case, the truth will not be so painful for a person, and you will not have to apologize for it at all.

Because of their emotions.

A person’s mood can change 100 times a day. But for some reason, it is customary to hide their emotions in society, especially if they are negative.
Since women are more emotional, they sometimes cannot restrain their tears or a bold laughter. Many of them, having realized, ask for forgiveness for their behavior. Should not be doing that! Everyone can express their emotions, not at least embarrassed by this. And who does not like it - let him go aside.

Because of the request for help.

For some reason, many of us think that if we turn to someone with a request for the service, we need to apologize to him in advance.
If a person wants or can fulfill your request, then he will do this without your apology. But he doesn’t want to - why did you apologize to him in advance?
It is worth your request to start not with "Sorry", and s "Will you be so kind". If you are not denied your request, you just need to thank a person for spending his time on you.

Because of other people's mistakes.

Probably, in a well -mannered person, this is laid down in the blood: to apologize for his acquaintance or loved one who, with his behavior, gives others inconvenience.
You strive to smooth out awkwardness that arose because of someone else. And at the same time, you thinkly think that you can make you apologize to the person in this way, because of which, in fact, there was awkwardness.
But this is unlikely to happen - if a person wanted this, then he would have done so right away. But you should think about your behavior: since it is you who are not to blame for the current situation, you should declare your point of view on this problem, and not ask for forgiveness.

Because of their previous mistakes.

Everyone in their life makes mistakes, After all, ideal people do not exist. You should not constantly remember the misses that you have once made-so you do not go crazy for long. You just need to extract life lessons from them, and move on your own way.
But there is such a category of people who remember all your sins and even minor misses. And they do not let you live calmly, periodically reminding them. With these memories unpleasant for you, you again become embarrassed, and you again and again ask for forgiveness for your behavior in the distant past.
It turns out that you have not survived that old situation, and you can’t forgive yourself for this time. Executions are meaningless if nothing can be changed - no matter how you blame yourself. You need to try to forgive yourself as soon as possible, and only in this case you will get rid of the reflex to apologize for your past misconduct.
And people, annoyingly reminding you of your past sins, should once say: "We will not turn the past", and quickly leave the unpleasant interlocutor. Perhaps he will change his mind and will no longer pester you with the memories of long -forgotten days.

Due to the unwillingness to maintain a relationship.

If you do not want to maintain a relationship with someone, then you don’t like this person. So why should you apologize only because you just want a calm and comfortable life for yourself?
After all, you will not bring any harm to anyone that you are trying to protect yourself from an unpleasant person from you. You can stop communicating with a friend, girlfriend or even a family member, forever disperse with a once loved one and not experience discomfort.
And to ask for forgiveness for the fact that you yourself decide who to allow communication in your circle, and with whom to part, you are not obliged to anyone at all.

Due to upholding your own interests.

In Soviet times, the ruling elite inspired ordinary citizens that they should not work for their own good, but “for the good of our great homeland,” and meanwhile they themselves lived funnidly. After such a “flushing of the brain”, many of us were really ashamed to demand some benefits for ourselves, since this was considered uncomfortable and unacceptable.
Now everything is different, and the desire to change your life for the better has become not at all shameful. Therefore, you do not need to ask for forgiveness for the fact that you want to climb up the career staircase or receive a higher salary.
If you feel that thanks to your experience, erudition or necessary knowledge You are worthy to find such benefits, feel free to contact the authorities with your requirements - and without any apology.

Because of your own beliefs.

If a person has his own beliefs and principles that differ from the opinion of the majority, then in this case he deserves respect. And if he talks about this openly and is not afraid to defend them, then it is necessary to praise such a persistent person in his beliefs, and not expect any apologies from him.
If the circumstances require it, it is better to argue why you have remained an adherent of certain ideals for quite some time. But ask for this forgiveness? Never do this if you want society to respond to you.

Because of their dissimilarity to others.

If you do not look like the rest in something, then this is not a reason to ask for forgiveness for this. That's who is really strange - it is a large group of citizens who look, think and feel like a carbon copy, like one -eated twins.
Are you like everyone else? That's glorious: do not be ashamed of this, and do not ask for forgiveness for this, because your dissimilarity is more a dignity than a drawback.

Because of your own failures.

Bold people are not afraid of experiments: they can try their strength in a variety of life spheres. Sometimes luck smiles at them, and sometimes they are awaiting ahead and fiasco. But they do not give up, but, having fallen, rise and again try to change their life for the better.
And many people are afraid even to try their strength in some business-suddenly none of this will come out to the fun of everyone around them? Such a person, once experiencing a shame from failure, will always remember this.
Moreover: it will seem to him that everyone else remembers this. You might think that other people have nothing to do!
Believe me, in fact, no one cares about your failures, forget about them and you. You don’t have to apologize for them, but try your hand at some new sphere for you-suddenly you will succeed there.

Because of their own appearance.

Unfortunately, not everyone managed to be born in a rich family, and even with an innate sense of taste. If you have to live, constantly cutting yourself in expenses, then here it is not far from the complexes. Do you have the opportunity to get dressed, make a model haircut and go to the gyms and beauty salons?
Try not to ask for forgiveness for your fashion, far from fashionable trends, but “take” those around others with their erudition, a sharp sense of humor, and excellent manners. And you will see how people will immediately reach for you who will stop paying attention to your non -standard appearance.

Because of their sexual orientation.

Among scientists, a polemic has long been conducted, why a person can change sexual orientation - no one still managed to solve this for certain.
The same-sex love and in our enlightened time is still considered something shameful and unreasonable.
But if you do not impose your beliefs to anyone and do not cause any inconvenience to anyone, then you are not at all obligated to bring your apologies for your choice - after all, this is your life, and you are not obliged to report for it.

Because of their failures.

Refusing a friend of a person is not easy. But what to do if you do not have time, means, and sometimes a desire to provide services?
We need to learn to say no in such a form that a person is not offended by you because of your refusal. But you should not apologize for your refusal in any case, since there is no guilt in this.

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