Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes - short, funny, free, to tears: text, video

A selection of funny, cool jokes from TIK current.

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Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes for adults

Jokes from Tik current for adults:

I could never understand how cats drink milk until I broke the bottle of Jack Denels in the kitchen last night.
The moonshine boasted that he passed fire, water and copper pipes.
So, son, so, step, still step ... well done! Masha! Bring the camera faster, the son returned from the graduation!
Give me whiskey, and I will show how philosophy is born.
If on Monday morning you did not wake up, but resurrected, then the weekend was a success.
They dropped whiskey on the floor - they torn off Katy's hands ...
Only our person can drink money with the one from whom he occupied them.
Terrorists who have captured the liquid-watering plant for the fifth day cannot formulate their requirements.
Why do VKontakte write on the left which of the friends will celebrate their birthday tomorrow, and where and how much they do not write?
I am not an optimist or a pessimist. I'm an alcoholic. In my case, the glass is half whiskey, half a stake.
Free advice to Jehovah's Witnesses: go to the apartments straight from the morning and with a mineral water for sale. People will give money and believe in God.
Only in Russia, in addition to acquaintances, friends and friends, there is still such a type of acquaintance as “thumped together”.
- And then with a grinder with a beer and to bed. “Are you sure that the wedding should go through this way?”
Give a person a fish - and you will feed it for the whole day. Teach a person to catch fish - alcoholism, lost weekends, divorce.
To prevent you from scribbled mosquitoes - take a half of the lemon, a bottle of tequila, salt salt and do not go outside.
How nice, when you wake up after a booze and see - everything is destroyed, sad ... a mountain of honeymoon dishes ... But the house is not yours.
It grew - this is when, at the entrance to the supermarket, you look not at ice cream, chocolates and soda, but at whiskey, cognac, beer and gin.
- What a sweet girl! How old are you? - One hundred grams of tequila, please.
I always thought that the glass on the package means that the purchase should be washed.
He told her: “That's enough! You got me! I'm leaving you!". I go out. I hear a shot.
Shooted?! I'm returning. Champagne opened ...
A person who does not know how to manage his life, after a bottle of vodka, already knows how to rule the country.
But with whom you will not lead to get!
Clofelin, alcohol and diphenhydramine are those things that make Aibolit truly kind.
It is not difficult to refuse alcohol, it is difficult to understand why it is needed.
You will ask me that I love more, you or beer. I will answer beer and you will leave ... I am for beer. You're perfect!
Once, with a dark night, a drunken bun came into the forest and raped moose, rabbit, raven, bear ... So Smeshariki appeared.
According to doctors, 100 grams of vodka kill 100,000 brain cells, and there are only 4 billion.
By simple calculations, I realized that I have minus 4 brain.
The logic teacher went crazy when he could not wipe dry wine with a damp cloth.
Alcohol does not help find the answer, it helps to forget the question.
He said no! Alcohol ... it turned out that cognac did not hear ...
Alcohol kills nerve cells. Only calm.
Alcohol for wimps. Strong enjoy depression.
The main inexhaustible resources of our country are sadness and alcohol.
The mood is zero? Hello, strong alcohol.
Three reasons for alcohol abuse: everything is fine, everything is bad, nothing to do.
For the New Year, a person is 80% alcohol, for the remaining 20% \u200b\u200bof Olivier.
- And who was the initiator of your relationship? - Alcohol …
Scottish proverb: "We went to the fool after tape, he will bring a sticky tape."
- Scalpel, clamp, alcohol, scalpel, clamp, alcohol, alcohol, all alcohol ... we will remember.
"... And now we will pass this large wall, and you will see the area where you quit drinking and smoking."
We revived. We rushed to the windows of the bus. The wall ended, and we saw a huge city cemetery.
Russian business is to steal a tank of alcohol, sell it, and money is to drink.
The joints whine - to the rain ... their teeth - to the dentist ... Friends whine - to a booze!
In Sparta, the lazy and prone to alcoholism were dropped into Russia.
If ants raise 10 times more of their weight ... then 50 grams of ants can be sent behind a bottle of vodka!
- Are you a satanist? - I'm a glassist.
It’s too late to drink Borjomi when I bought cognac.
The biggest mistake in life is to take one bottle of whiskey and consider what is enough.
After a bottle of cognac, the conversation turns into a leakage of information.
When she is drunk, it is difficult to find, it is easy to lose and it is impossible to push in a taxi.
A bottle of vodka that fell out of the tower crane did not break ... but fell into the hand of a very breathless crane operator.
- And what will we do in this situation? - We buy cognac, then improvise.
How it would be good to have a stone heart, a rubber nervous system and a whisk instead of blood.
If you go to the smell of alcohol, sooner or later you can meet me.
He woke up from the cold and smiled, thinking: "It was she who, as usual, pulled the blanket." And then I realized that I was sleeping drunk in the entrance
- Are you for a long time to friends? - Not. I will quickly get drunk and back.
Drunk Natasha almost calmed down and stopped singing the songs in the cabin of the plane, but then a stewardess named Jeanne approached her.
Well, the laws have gone - now in the store you can’t buy courage, courage and do not care after 23 hours.
According to doctors, fifty grams of cognac at dinner is not only useful, but also not enough.
Love and be loved.
Drink and be buch.
The Americans came up with Skype, but the Russians went on ... They thump along Skype.

Funny jokes from tick current

Funny jokes from Tik current:

A gentle kiss behind the neck. A very touching and intimate moment. I don’t understand why people in the subway freak out so because of this.
At school No. 38, the Trudovik was fired. He didn’t even drink ... He just wore a bathrobe on his naked body.
In my opinion, a man with a temperature of 37 is easier to quit and forget than to cure.
Eve was the first woman who said: "I have absolutely nothing to wear!" and the only one that has spoken the pure truth
Discount cards, wholesale discounts, “bring a friend”, “2+1”-all, all the shares were for some reason failure. It is difficult to be a marketer of the funeral bureau ...
If you lose in a dispute, do not despair - the opponent can still be called.
Do not put off anything tomorrow. It is better to put it off the day after tomorrow - you will have two free days.
Katya and food ate, and the wallpaper in the corridor was Draised, but her husband still called her a cow, not a pussy ...
Each parent has their pros and cons, however, like any power source.
For fifteen years, the elusive Joe was hiding in the mountains. And not that he was elusive, but just nobody was needed by anyone.
As my cat says: “What are you eating there? Give me a little! I don’t eat this, but give it. ”
In each apartment there is a place where gum for hair and one toe go to die.
Wedding traditions have long been time to change. Instead of an idiotic bouquet in a crowd of women, you need to throw an unmarried man.
Returning is a bad sign. Especially if you are married, and three days have passed.
You do not know how to lay the children to sleep - take a glass of cognac! A glass of cognac - and figs with them, let them not sleep!
Women are like letters in the alphabet. There are vowels, but there are consonants. But the latter is outrageously few!
Each pig should build a stable, grow a pig and plant an oak.
If we are kicked out of the institute, then we will hand over bottles and go to paid training.
The editors thanks the alphabet for the kindly provided letters.
Beer is the greatest invention. The wheel, of course, is also nothing, but the wheel with fish is still not that ...
The hunter needs dogs so that hares do not attack him.
Caution, doors do not close!
Nothing will decorate your festive table like a firecracker in Olivier's salad.
When leaving the restaurant, the first thing that catches your eye is asphalt.
They say that Kutuzov did not have one eye, but this is not true !!! Kutuzov had one eye!
Pets decorate our lives, and in difficult times the table.
Once Carlson put on his pants inside out. So a meat grinder appeared.
Peaceful inhabitants brutally shot the invaders.
Dubrovsky had a connection with Masha through the hollow.
Humanity is divided into two main groups: those who have those who have.
Still, there is something in shit, a million flies cannot be wrong.
A rooster is sold, hesitates chicken. To death.
I met the fox Kolobok and ... picked up a bun louse!
Kasparov Karpov answered the next move by obscenities.
The first congress of the Russian pessimists took place in Moscow.
It was decided not to hold a congress anymore.
Having bought a thing from us at a price of three, you get the second for free!
So that the knife does not rust - it needs to be stored in a large piece of fat!
- In what cases are men hug
- When they are blue or blue.
Intuition is the ability of the head to feel a booty.
Not all shawarma products can be bought in a store. Some will have to run around the city ...
Wife to husband: if I am a cow, then you are a zoophile!
The geese-swans flew, and the sparrows-pingvins and nightingales-stouts to meet them.

Short jokes from tick current

Short jokes from Tik current:

Nobody put us on your knees! We were lying, and we will lie!
I ask you to send me to salary increase courses.
To preserve the world in the family, patience, love, understanding and at least two TVs are needed. ("The rule of two TVs")
Women pay attention not to beautiful men, but to men with beautiful women.
In what other country is alcohol stored in armored safes, and the “nuclear button” in a plastic suitcase.
If relatives or friends do not call you for a long time, then everything is fine with them.
Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt.
If you argue with an idiot, probably the same thing does.
A decent person can be easily recognized by how awkwardly he makes meanness.
Whenever I recall that the Lord is fair, I tremble for my country.
Nobody still like Russians, has not jerked the fish! (in the Pacific Ocean - Yes, Space Station!)
Democracy with elements of dictatorship is like a constipation with elements of diarrhea.
If a man never lies to a woman, then he does not give a damn about her feelings.
If the wife suddenly gives you a tie, then the new mink coat has already bewilded her.
When there is little time, there is no longer up to friendship - only love.
If diapers are squeezed in front, then childhood is over.
The best remedy for cockroaches is a dense stream of fast neutrons ...
Life goes so fast, as if it is not interested in it with us ...
An experimental rabbit can afford almost everything.
The girl was eighteen years and thirty winters.
A well -mannered man will not make a comment to a woman who is poorly carrying sleeping.
"I love traveling, visiting new cities, countries, getting to know new people." Genghis Khan
A real woman should cut down a tree, destroy the house and grow a daughter.
There are people in whom God lives. There are people in whom the devil lives. And there are people that live only worms. (F. Ranevskaya)
A sponsor is a person who is easier to part with money than to explain where they came from.
If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot, or wants little.
The Russian language is rich and expressive. But already he was not enough.
The Russians call dear the place where they are going to drive.
If the third working day in a row is already sleeping, then today is the environment.
The better the chest is visible, the worse the face is remembered.
In the eyes - resentment, in the hands - iron
Western is a film in which only horses are conceived.
Lunch in Russia is not food, but the time of the day.
Loneliness is the habit of not locking up in the toilet
When you congratulate your wife on the holiday, the main thing is not to break into a scream.
The man should be slightly sloppy! Or the width is unbuttoned, or the sleeve in G ** not!
Quietly and imperceptibly blew up the warehouse with ammunition, the partisans moved on ...
Life is like a dog team: if you do not go ahead, then you see the same thing all the time.
Mother -in -law
The art of sex is the ability to kiss the lady at the right time in the right place.
Another day was a waste of makeup ...
I give driving lessons. Moses
Never raise your hand to your child. You leave unprotected groin.
Girl, what are you looking at me like that, as if your parents left for the cottage?
In the telescope in the sun, you can see only twice in your life. Right and left eye.
If you want to meet more often with your favorite girl, install her Windows’95

Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes - Text

Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes - Text:

It happens, you say to yourself: I don’t drink, I don’t drink, I don’t drink, I don’t drink! And then bam! And Friday.
An ideal woman has a hand on a elbow in borsch.
With the onset of the evening, with every hour, food in the refrigerator is becoming tastier and tastier, and before going to bed it is simply impossible to tear yourself away.
The pessimist puts it off on a rainy day, but the optimist is for a bright future.
They say that ficuses grow better if you talk to them. Yesterday I rearranged, dropped the pot on the leg. For five minutes I helped to grow ...
Odessa. Announcement on the door of a beauty salon: “Do not try to get acquainted with the beauty of us! It may happen, sho is your grandmother! "
At the interview:
- And where did your last employee go?
- He went on maternity leave.
- Yes ... it is dangerous here with you ...
They are strange, these women. Why don't they like it when we go to bed in socks? After all, we like it so much when they lie in stockings.
Sarah have you heard the news? Yesterday Sofochka was taken to the hospital with severe poisoning?
- She sho, bit her tongue?
Lucy, what about cancer we have?
— 69.
- Also true, but I asked about the horoscope ...
Go to the casino - put on the most beautiful underpants. Perhaps it is in them that you will return.
Nothing makes us think about the advisability of crossing the road in the wrong place, like a lonely boot standing on a dividing strip.
Women's skirt is a flag for which a man will go anywhere! Especially if it is raised high!
Sex is like a loan: they give someone, someone-no!
The wife said: "Let's stop at the store, buy bread." In short, barely the trunk closed ...
I went to visit my girlfriend ... I left a note to my husband: "Be prepared for the acceptance of firewood" ...
I lost my husband in a desire. Who knew that he, such a pervert, would make me go to my mother for a week?
Eh, and I will be lucky my future husband! The wife - both beauty and smart, loves to wash and cook, and ... lies well.
A loser is when yesterday is a virgin, and today is dad.
According to statistics, people who interfere with beer with vodka after the 8th grade, after the 10th, interfere with the sand with cement.
The guests did not want to disperse until I got drunk and dispersed myself!
A man, remember, the main thing in marriage is to survive the first three stress: when you see your wife for the first time without makeup, the first joint campaign and the first visit of the mother -in -law!
I feel like a kitten in a store: everyone likes me, but nobody needs a*th ...
Loneliness is when even a tan does not stick to you.
I will exchange the female ability to experience because of garbage for male ability to score on everything and not steam.
I want to be so rich that before the holiday you can not get out, but just burn the house and move to a new one!
At school, I studied 2 foreign languages: English and algebra ...
He took the old PC to the trash, bought a sophisticated “tablet” for two thousand dollars!
I connected to the Internet ... And there are the same cats.
Stupid !! Well, are you upset that your chest is the first size?! But the leg is over ... 44th!

Tick \u200b\u200bjacks without a mat.

Jokes from Tik current without a mat:

Are you interested in looking at the girl's girlfriend?
Heroes are not born. Heroes die.
I bought tea for weight loss. Nothing goes with the cake.
Yes. My jokes are completely serious.
The soul flew into the abyss ... catches up with a dream, see.
Are you not glad to me, dear? And have to!
For someone, I was born.
Good cat and in December March.
We played in a draw. You are nobody. I belong to no one.
I endure. But you will regret it
I again begin to fall in love in your voice. Shut up
Love is evil, but there is no goat and there is no.
Do you know how to interest an idiot? - How - I'll tell you tomorrow
Wash your hands before meals! There are unwashed hands harmful.
A high -quality office table is simply obliged to withstand two.
Anywhere…. Just not married
What to do without you? And what to do with you?
Dear, I'll call you back later & I can't swear now.
I am so beautiful that I would fall in love myself.
Life is too short to spend it on a short relationship.
Yesterday a drug addict climbed into the bag, I did not notice at first, then I open the bag - sits
Smart are those who make money with their minds, and the wise are those who work for these smart ones.
It's hard to get to know me. I do not smoke.
Where did you get out of yourself?
Than to argue with everyone & easier to hit one
You run into a kiss
I came, saw ... I forgot to win ...
Yes ... they didn’t teach me a bitch ...
At night, it is harmful, but very tasty!
And with you - I practically without you
When I fall in love, I become dangerous ...
Your happiness is that I am not your happiness!
Dandruff is the ashes of boiling mind.
Parents constantly knock out nonsense from me, but I know where to get more!
Woodpeckers do not live for a long time, because they knock.
Before you find your princess, you will kiss a lot of toads!
Go in English. Do not wait until you send you in Russian!
I'm really cool! I have a laptop and a socket in the toilet!
Born to crawl will crawl everywhere.
You can’t buy friends! But they can be favorably sold.
They don’t beat the lying, they walk on them and wipe their legs.
Speaking what you think is not difficult, but it hurts.
With her appearance, she has to be a faithful wife.
You can look at the telescope in the sun twice in your life. Right and left eye.
Experiment on cats! (Dogs Pavlov)
While beauty saves the world, the freaks will destroy it.
Found the exit is first trampled.
I am looking for a job that is not related to that.
Why should I look for my soul mate? So that I was one and a half?
The-living mouse, whose path is dotted with fainting with the ladies.
Calm, Gerasim! I am a baskerville dog!
In my soul I am a very sensitive person ...
But how to leave the shower, such a bastard!
Every year a woman is increasingly difficult to get used to what she is 30.
You can’t forbid living beautifully. But you can interfere ...
So that you cope with your wedding at McDonald's!
Yesterday I quit drinking. I realized today: I didn’t ...
Everything goes well, only by ...
Falled by the victim of Russian hospitality ...
Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting, and you feel a pity to die healthy!
Carefully! I carry nonsense, I can drop it.
In a word, you can offend. The dictionary is to kill.
The selected president is not subject to exchange and return.

Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes - jokes

Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes - jokes:

I always wanted to look at a person who, after the word "calm" really calmed down.
Take off from another person to spoil, so nothing will remain from him.
We have everything in good hands ... but not in ours.
The guy who does not pronounce the letter “P”, the second toast drinks for drivers.
Throw this dirty wire immediately! Well, what are you jerking like an idiot?
According to the horoscope, I am a bastard today.
I want to learn to fall asleep in the evening as quickly as in the morning after the alarm clock.
On April 1, my friend threw me, and the 3rd calls and says that she was joking ... And I already found another ... how awkwardly it happened ...
I have a strange boss. Once he made me jump on a skip ... (just like that) Katya, 4 size.
My cat meows very loudly. At night I so want to put it on vibration.
In the morning you have to be especially careful. One awkward movement - and you are sleeping again ...
Chinese sticks are actually well -gnawed wooden Russian spoons.
The girl who passed me was so beautiful that I even forgot to look at her chest.
In which hand do you need to keep a smartphone according to the rules of etiquette during the meal?
One guy in the cinema so loudly drank juice through a tube that now he already eats through a tube.
Life must be lived so that they are banned from entering Ukraine.
Material position: Coffee can also drink at home.
On Saturday, something was confused and was a little sober to sleep ...
Girls, if you have a good mood - stand on the scales ...
Take the care product and leave finally.
What you can perceive calmly does not manage you
The boy at night without knocking went into the parents' bedroom and lost his brother ...
It seems to be a native country, but we live like poor relatives ...
Lucy did not know that she was pregnant and married. But the neighbors will not lie.
Financial position: hope only on Robin Hood.
I never go to weddings, because the bride should be the most beautiful there.
People go to the gym, guided by an erroneous opinion that a fit schmuck is better than usual.
Do not demand serious acts from me. My ass still impresses in children's swings.
When choosing a whip or a gingerbread, remember: getting with a callous gingerbread in the face is also painful.
Women, remember: how much time you can’t spend on the woodpecker - you still won’t make an eagle from it.
If, instead of dinner, get home for breakfast, then you can stay without lunch.
Macarons with cutlets are just a different aggregate state of dumplings.
The girl decided to paint the kitchen. I painted the battery, standing on the ceiling.
Juice of multifructor is drunk by people who themselves do not know what they want.
The Chechen gay differs from a snowy man in that it is much more difficult to find ...
I accidentally put a lullaby on her alarm clock and slept for four years.
Wisdom comes over the years ... A wise woman, making stupidity, knows why she was doing her ...
If you take everything from life, it will not last long.
The current youth also loves classics. But only in sex.
Bathing in luxury, do not swim for the buoys.

Free tick current jokes

Free tick current jokes:

Colleagues, today I collected you all, because you are a puzzle.
Masha loved to sing ... Her record was 40 to sing a month.
When I was small, our family was so poor that if I were a girl, I would have nothing to play with.
The crumb-son came to his father, and the father of a loaf.
As a child, I was fond of photography, but then my mother hid her.
In the competition “Russia through the eyes of children”, Nikolai won from Surgut, who laid the eyes of the children the five -meter word “Russia” through the eyes of the children.
He held her by the waist, and she was for his fool. So sat and chatted: he is about love, and she with her legs.
In the Mongolian Kinder Surprise is always the same toy - yolk.
And in the city of Rybinsk, Valentine's Day is called - spawning.
Our Tanya cries loudly because she cries in a mouthpiece.
An employee of the nuclear power plant realized that something was wrong when he opened beer with a look.
Russian Post employee is going home for a week.
David Backham in the country digs a garden in a T -shirt with the name Aldonin.
The little boy found a machine gun, no one else found a machine gun in the village
Elena Malysheva's son came to the matinee in a cloth and stopped a round dance.
Once I met an anesthesiologist. She was local.
Sad birthday: Electric Dima hit 380.
IN BIG Fameli Do Not Krum-Khrum Face!
If for a long time, long-longoooo ... if for a long, long-longooo ... if for a long, long-longooo ... then the guy is well done!
Yesterday I met Beeline employee - awesomely sexy. Let's go out of town with her, but she does not take there
News of culture and sports. In Bolivia, the Minister of Culture and Sports was shot dead.
It turns out that Chukovsky also wrote about my work: “And such a rubbish all day - then the seal will call, then a deer.”
Parents called the son Izyaslav, and he used it favorably, introducing himself in some places with glory, and in some places-if.
She was a romantic, but peculiar nature, so all her life a line on a black goat was waiting.

Tick \u200b\u200bcurrent jokes read

Jokes from Tick current Read:

Poor lemons after death fall into lemonade.
Did you step on the same rake twice? Throw them away.
It looks like they disliked you. Here you have a globe! Go in the world!
- Money can not buy happiness!
Hurricane is in the stomach? This is a hooligan cook.
Replacing the usual “ge” with “hmm” will make you many times more intelligent in the eyes of the interlocutor.
Our area is quiet ... Everyone with silencers walk ... The people's sign: the wife left the house - to embezzlement ...
Lay on the couch, scratching his broken heart ...
It’s amazing: you can’t buy health, but you can pay it as much as you like.
And they lived happily and for a long time ... At first, one month happily, then for a long time.
In Africa, it is customary to save money on a white day ...
A person is happy for seven years in life: six years before school and one year after retirement.
Happiness is when you want to do what you are forced.
Why don't you want to sleep like in the morning in the evening?
She knew her price, and this price was average in the city.
If you are lucky with your husband, this does not yet say that he was also lucky.
Yesterday Lyudmila Gurchenko beat Mol.
The girl came to Moscow to enter the university, prepared poorly, did not pass the exam, the phone ...
The hammer of Abramovich was bought by the Yaroslavl Shinnik.
And they lived for a long time and often ...
Modesty is what makes others respect, carefully listen to them and not interrupt when you are praised.
Life consists of pleasant little things that allow you not to hide on major troubles.
The concept of "brothers in mind" is not applicable to blondes at once for two reasons ...
Spring is the most beautiful time of the year, if you do not see a place for walking dogs ...
He ate so often and ate a lot that every week he changed the bulbs in the refrigerator ...
It is better to enjoy a mania of greatness than to suffer from an inferiority complex ...
We must be late slowly. Why hurry to be late?
So that your thoughts about high matters are not interrupted in the most unceremonious way - do not forget to close the door of the toilet on a spinger ...
Time is equally ruthless to those who have a lot of free time and to those who never have it ...
Justice is easiest to find in the dictionary, with the letter "C".
Tickling - mining laughter. It's a shame when your grandmother Stalin remembers, but you do not.
Love is too cruel. Drugs are too expensive. Sport is too boring. Surfing the Internet…
The bald hedgehog wears apples in a backpack.
If the matter does not establish itself, you need to strain yourself and put it on it.
Women need only two things for happiness: money and everything else.
One sage said: “How many people, so many opinions” and, surprisingly-everyone agreed with him!
No one is as neat as a person tearing from a cardboard cylindrical last centimeters of toilet paper!
She lost consciousness, but did not lose anything, because she had nothing to lose!
I wanted to send you, but I see from there.
In the Russian language, the word “must” is not a verb and, therefore, does not imply action.
The unclaimed has to be proud.
Beloved, like you are not, was not and not necessary! Husband - UFO (incomprehensible, but favorite object)
Selling genetic code, inexpensive ... delivery, installation for free.
Do not forget to move from beautiful words to beautiful deeds. Summer is not when warm, summer is when there is money.
I downloaded the book from the Internet - saved the tree. Average age is when you are successful in women contrary to your own desire.
The most affordable seafood is salt.
When the young, holding the hand, go to the registry office, then, as a rule, bruises remain on a man on the brush.
I was ready to give her life for her, but she took only in cash. It is most important to have a good mood, the rest is a matter of money.
I will give a good mood, at interest. She left, inspiration returned.
Depression is a state of deep spiritual anus.
He was so gloomy that even thoughts ceased to visit him.
I have never met a smart person. I would like to say about this from my friends, but it is unlikely that anyone will be happy ...
There are no hopeless situations. There are situations that the way out of which does not suit you.

Original jackets from tick current

Dumb jokes from tick current — Original jackets from tick current

Original jokes from Tik current:

The wolf is an archetype of Ravin, the beast of the desert and devastation - Theodore Roosevelt
The tiger and the lion can be stronger, but the wolf does not appear in the circus - anonymous
The wolf you hear is worse than the orc you are afraid - Jrr Tolkien
Where there are sheep, wolves are always there - Plautus
In the calm, deep waters of the mind, the wolf is waiting - F. T. McKinste
As wolves love lambs, so lovers love each other - Plato
When someone runs with wolves, he must howl with a flock-Leo Trotsky
The wolf on the hill is not as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill - Arnold Schwarzenegger
The wolf will never lose sleep, worrying about the feelings of the sheep. But no one ever told the sheep that they surpassed the number of wolves - Bray Wyatt
The curse of the black wolf wakes up every time the full moon points to the middle of the sky - Pat Torres
The wolf can fight a bear, but the rabbit always loses - Robert Jordan
The wolf attacks the fang, bull-horn-Horace
Wolves hunt lambs in the darkness of the night, but blood stains remain on the stones of the valley until the dawn occurs, and the sun will not open the crime - Halil Jebl
Even the wolf knows how to be polite when the “animals-people” have no concepts about the politeness of munia khan
Wolves - Witches of the animal world - Katherine Rawdell
Leave the pain behind, and let your life be your own again. There is a place where all the time is now, and the choice is simple and always your own. The wolves have no kings - Robin Hobb
Wolves cannot hide their integrity in the same way as people cannot hide their own animal - munia khan
The wolf changes its skin, but not character - a proverb
The wolves knew when it was time to stop looking for what they lost to focus on what else to come - Jodi Picoult
The howl of the wolf may have killed the boy, but the real irony was that the wolves were always hiding nearby - Wes Fesler
Wolves do not hunt one by one, but always in pairs. The lone wolf was a myth - John Fauls
The wolf eats sheep, but from time to time. People eat ten thousand. An open enemy may be a curse, but a mental friend is even worse than John Gay
Wolves follow the wounded deer, such is the nature of this beast - Barbara Delinskaya
Wolves should never be anything other than protection. They should not be aggressors - Joe Karnah
The wolf always blames the lamb of being stirring up a stream - Eliu Ruth
Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, and not only on the population of the moose, being their main prey, because a smaller amount of moose is equal to a greater growth of trees - Rolf Peterson
Wolves are very resourceful. All they need for survival is so that people do not shoot at them - Bob Ferris
When the wolf does not want to do something, it looks very nice.
The wolves ate even powerful hunters, because among the predators there was neither honor nor a code of honor, and everyone has the same intestines when they are torn by a cold night - Warren Ellis

Jokes to tears from Tick current

Jokes to tears from Tik current:

What is the name of the person who sold his liver? Supported.
Why can you joke over everyone except legless? Jokes about them usually do not come in.
Why is the legless afraid of gopniks? Cannot stand up for himself.
Why is fat women not to be striptease? They are bending the stick.
Why is there so many diseases in Africa? Because the tablets must be washed down with water.
What did the blind say, entering the bar? "Hello everyone who has not seen."
Why download a porno-clip with a dwarf? It takes up less space.
What is the name of the hut of women-yaga lesbians? Lisbushka.
How to prevent incest in mushrooms? The phrase "Do not argue with your mother!"
The nervous climber from time to time breaks into his wife.
What is in common with the necrophil and the owner of the construction campaign? They both have real estate.
Why can drug addicts get the Nobel Physics Prize? They know how to measure speed in grams.
What is the name of a black woman who made 6 abortions? Crime fighter.
Why does Pinocchio want to in the Caucasus? Because there they can cut a family.
Why did the squint tear? I went where my eyes looked.
Why is the BDSM not popular among the dumb ones? They have no feet of a word.
Hello, is this a Czech Republic? Cash my back.
What are they saying about the necrophilian-warehouse? For ** the dead.
Why among the skaters, there are no gypsies? No one believes that this is their horse.
Why are the gypsies not sent to the Olympics? They will take all gold.
What is the name of the infloreton of drug addicts? The club is funny and resourceful.
What is the difference between land and our jokes? The earth is not flat.
Why do Jews do not make reposts? They have no button to share.
What is in common of our jokes and mail in Russia? It does not reach everyone.
Why didn't Hitler like to bake pies? He always lacked eggs.
Who gives birth to leather suitcases? - Diplomatka.
What did the Nutcracker do the old witch? - Nutcrackers
I gave the girl a care product, but she does not leave.
The family of cannibals died a relative - both sad and tasty.
The girl bears a child of 9 months - I carried him out of one blow.
Dagestan scientists break off atoms into sala-molecules.
Why shouldn't the dwarfs go to the casino? - Because the bets are too high.
Zoofil went treated, but all his efforts went to the cat's tail.
What did Weeper do when he fell out of the plane? - began to steam in the air.
What instructions do disabled people like? - step by step.
I made friends with the stone, and he drowned. What a pity, because I got attached to him.
What does an ass with a pen dream about? - Meet a pussy with a notebook.
A man ate sugar and yeast-now he walks and brings.
You want a daughter on the handles - I do not want on the stomach or on the face.
What is the name when the whites are raping a black man? - men in Black.
Why can't a pedophile have children? “They start it faster.”
A one -armed girl plays hide and seek: I count up to five, I can’t up to ten.
What is the name of the moment when the eye twitches? - Disco of the century.
What did the saleswoman say to the girl who started to give birth? - Do you need a bag?
What did the gopniks say chicken? - Huli hatched.
What did the Liliputs say when Gulliver died? - E ... to dig!
What does the director say when he quits from a porn studio? - E ... if you want.
What are the similar bar and a little girl like? - For that and for that you can sit down.
Why are nothingless people not invited to their birthday? - They always come empty -handed.
What are the blind in life? - They go forward no matter what.
What do prostitutes call menstruation? - weekends.
Why do not witches wear underpants? - To better stay on a broomstick.
What do drug addicts do from idleness? - Drafting.
At first, the cat was afraid of a vacuum cleaner, and then nothing - got involved.
What are the periods of the hedgehogs called? - Monthly.