Funny ditties for a feast - a selection for a fun company at the festive table

Do not know how to entertain guests at the holiday without much effort? Invite them to sing funny ditties. Look for the ideas of funny quatrains in this material.

Funny cool ditties - a selection for a fun company

Funny funny ditties - a selection for a fun company:

What are you, guests, sad,
Hanged heads?
Read these texts -
It will immediately have fun!

The country is my dear country,
There are many fields in it, seas and rivers.
I don't know another country ...
Because I have not been anywhere!

I am a laundry soap
I bought a man to wash.
The husband shouted to the whole quarter
But he did not become economic.

There is a rumor walking around the village
That my dear loves two.
Love, dear, love them,
I myself love three.

At the entrance under the balcony
It smells firmly by moonshine.
This is a husband to his hut
Returns from fishing.

Do not judge me strictly
I don't have fun anyway.
Because I am left
Two months before retirement!

On a diet for a whole year
The girl stayed ...
The doctor will not get in any way
A syringe in the buttock.

Behind the hill, by the stream,
The girl is a draw.
Well, let him lie for yourself
He does not value himself!

I am appointing a date
On a cliff near the edge ...
Will pester cute -
I will teach him to fly!

You’ll run, dear, drowning -
Look to me to say goodbye.
I spend to the river -
I'll tell you the place deeper!

In the evening to your husband
She showed a sex score.
He could not figure it out,
Good - the neighbor helped!

If you want to go to me -
Go to the station.
Give your wife into luggage
And throw out the receipt!

Once on the beach a diver
Savior drowning
And when he married her,
He went and drowned.

If she knew, if she knew,
Who am I married to,
I would tell my mother -in -law
Do not plant cabbage at all!

Sits cute on the porch
With an expression on the face.
Expresses that face
Than sit on the porch.

I bought liquid soap -
A hundred rubles were trampled.
A friend thought jam
She took everything and broke.

Everything in a ditty will affect:
New day and last century.
As if in a mirror, it looks
The Russian man in it.

Cherry blooms in the garden,
Next to her is a bird cherry.
Ah, why did I get married
For such an Olukh!

Oh, advertising - I will not save,
They twist in the morning and at lunch.
Wip out in the evening and at night,
So you can go crazy - for sure!

Hello, my dear,
Russian potatoes!
I dug you for three days -
The back is like an accordion!

I compose ditties
For fun, I sing them.
If you like them,
Then pay the ruble!

We sang ditties
Ninety -nine times!
Really today
Nobody will give us vodka?

Cool ditties modern for adults

Cool ditties modern for adults:

My Milka is somehow foolish
I bought the soap "fool".
I will go to the bathhouse with her,
I will wash the “fool” to wash.

Masha saw a bear
I was very scared.
Even cursed obscenities
This is how confused.

Do not go along the corridor
Do not knock with galoshes.
I will not love it anyway -
The face is like a horse.

I loved a riot police
Frighting for nature:
Where the hand did not reach
Helped a club.

I gave a little to the Mileno
Sitting on a bench.
Do not think bad -
I gave seeds.

In the club, the uncle was tried,
Dali uncle for ten years.
After the girl asked:
"Will there be no dancing?"

There are two flowers on the window -
Gladiolus and Rosan.
If the dear is cheating
I guess for the time!

He became some kind of excited
In the spring, Monter is with us.
Even the wire is exposed
Causes ecstasy in it.

I make up the whole evening
The solitaire is new.
I will put on myself
King Bubnovy.

I became brothers, what to hide
I admit, in a friendly way,
Civil duty to fulfill
More often than marital.

Speaking about NATO plans
I can’t, friends, without a mat.
Anyway, friends,
I can't live without a mat!

The gypsy gypsy says:
“I have for a long time
On the table a bottle,
Let's go, drink, dear! "

I watered the flowers
On the balcony by leerochka.
For some reason it suddenly became wet
Uncle on a bench ...

There is a bottle on the table,
And in a bottle of kerosene,
Grandfather at the grandmother got angry
And he did not invite in the cinema.

Oh! My darling,
Milk is affectionate,
All sweets from pocket
I pulled it out.

At the priest, the priest,
At the priest with Fedka
I wanted to hit
After the bath of radish.

I was on the hill
And Yegorka gave
Do not think bad
I gave the scales.

I have been a hangover in the morning
They beat the kangaroo's face.
Only in the evening they dismantled
That his neighbor was broken.

Torn, tore off
Torn from the priest
Do not think bad
From the vest of the sleeve.

How many times already a rocket
Sent to the moon.
Why would this missile
Do not shove my wife.

I'm with Milena Klava
I swim along the river,
But I can't moor
Husband with a stake on the shore.

We have a barn in the village,
Behind Sarai Ivan Te.
I rest there -
With Ivan, but without tea.

Hugs me dear
The gentle words whisper
He presents me
Exclusive rights!

Littleness came out with a nice thing:
He suddenly ran home,
And in bed - a drum
And, of course, with me

Invited Milok to the barn,
He began to open the door.
The old watchman was frightened -
I thought we would steal.

I am in the bazaar in July
The vibrator Julia took for caresses.
Scream at night: “Maniac! Rapist!"
It turned out to be a boiler!

Cool ditties about coronavirus to raise mood

Cool ditties about coronavirus to raise mood:

We will sing ditties
In order not to sour.
We are for a bunch, as always,
Just worth a whistle!

They put us home,
Only forgot to give money.
Well, we will not be lost
We’ll live on potatoes!

The virus was put on the crown,
People hold defense!
We are stronger - your mother,
Virus, do not scare us!

Once upon a time, they did not push
They did not know viruses
What they had - did not value
And now - hit!

We don't go to shopping
And in beauty salons,
Soon, husbands will leave us,
They will not recognize us.

We are sitting on quarantine
Until the end of April.
Our money is flowing down
Like in the spring of a drop.

We are at the table today,
We drink vodka under the salad.
Quarantine so quarantine,
We’ll sit for a month.

We were forbidden to work,
It didn't happen!
Now everyone has their career
Start over again!

Take the pandemic
We are all sitting locked up.
Only we can’t keep us,
All the same we will walk!

The virus put on the crown
And scares people,
To correct her exactly
There is not enough shovel!

Eh, Covid, Covid, Covid,
People have a dull look.
Everyone is sitting in apartments
Only the teliks look.

Our money is running out
Only jokes - to the hell,
Can pay them them
For April for housing and communal services?

Coronavirus from China
What kind of rubbish is still like that?
Get out of Russia,
We did not ask to come!

Tired of us friends,
Self-isolation,
Only this does not matter
Inflation is still waiting.

I put on a mask to my husband
So as not to breathe on me.
No is not sick, and not a virus,
It's just a fragment!

There are no masks in the pharmacy now,
But ingenuity to hell.
We are from diapers, gaskets
We can sew masks then!

They say buckwheat will disappear
I urgently need to be purchased,
Only we already purchased
There is nowhere else to lie!

Husband came home from work
Disinfection immediately.
Brought him on a dish
Drink vodka with pepper I.

I put on the crown, picked up the coronary
There is no vaccine from it, help immunity
Everyone is afraid of quarantine, people, birds and cattle
Beware of infection, make disinfection.

All concerts were canceled and broke off artists
There is no money now, really, help financially!
In Amsterdam, Underwheel to Entertainment Services
That confused instead of affection, give out masks to customers.

Pandemia occurs, all the boundaries are closed
Capital does not lose heart, flows abroad
We will help Italy, we will have a profit of depositors
You forget about gasoline, quarantine occurs.

There is no paper in the store and in the dressing room
I bought your mother, I will wipe it with a finger
Pork flu and bird flu pandemia speaks
You surpassed us, the gas mask will not save us.

The water in the river is cloudy, the fish is sick with the virus
Do not get the crayfish at the bottom of the crayfish, do not catch cancer
The coronary creatures of the Guslyar hesitated
The crowned gusser is now releasing steam today

So that everyone does not need to be protected by everyone
I'm not afraid of illness, I kiss and have fun.

We ditties sang-slats,
The neck dried up
You need to urgently uro
So as not to die!

Cool ditties about fashion for a fun feast

Cool ditties about fashion for a fun feast:

The people are surprised:
Who sings so fun?
Prophery your ears,
I am ahead of me with ditties.

Mascara, lipstick, varnish and gel,
I'm a fashion model now.
But, as before, all relatives
I am a friend-neighbor Andrey.

At the fashion school for us again
It's just that there is no time to miss.
I sew outfits myself
Everyone around will go crazy.

We sewed not at random
Our cheerful "school boom",
They put a lot of effort
Even Zaitsev appreciated

Oh, girls-girlfriends,
I am bastard from Andryushka.
But I went to the Miss contest,
To appreciate Denis.

I will inform everyone as soon as possible
I have many friends.
But I admit, gentlemen,
I am without fashion - nowhere.

I ascended the podium
And confidently went.
I know whatever you say
I will conquer the jury now.

There is nothing to wear already
Fashion has changed.
I will blush naked
In front of the people.

Embroider, Lyuba, I have a scarf,
A flower on the whole head.
Today is fashion for shawls,
Flowers in the whole head.

Then not a fashion, but a mockery,
Ugh you, Lord, forgive me.
Jeans hold on a girl
On the pubic on the bone.

Fashion dictates the path to us -
How to wrap ourselves,
We walk with a loop on the neck
And not scary to us!

The "bikini" is again fashion.
In the river, the sun shines.
I’ll run to the water soon
To hide cellulite.

Ditties about pension and pensioners cool

Cool ditties about pension and pensioners are funny:

For lunch and breakfast porridge,
This is our life.
If the pension was raised,
Cognac would be seized with caviar.

Yesterday they washed the pension,
The one that they received.
Vova Putin help out,
Add to the sorceress.

They escorted, sting their hand
Like a new life, a strip.
Received a pension and whistled,
And stood on end of the hair.

I worked tirelessly,
How could it be assumed.
That so as not to throw off the hooves,
Only bread and porridge will eat.

So the pension crept up
E-mine, what a pity.
If in sex, you can't sweat,
I will sing ditties to you.

To the Pension Fund of Russia,
Bring the loot from the youth.
And when you grow old,
Without a pension, you will shut up.

I received it in the post office
The pension is ridiculous.
I went to the shop a couple of times,
Here, I sit in a cuckoo.

To survive to retirement,
Everyone should be friends with sex.
So that the soul blooms and sang,
And the body was healthy.

My friend is eighty -five,
He wants a husband to become again.
To go to bed with a young man,
Hope to rejuvenate.

We are retired, cheers!
But again we are not up to sleep.
We are waiting for a granddaughter from a party,
Until the morning, the kids have a booze.

If the pension is small
Do not sit down at the table in the morning.
It’s better to sleep before lunch,
And in a dream you can eat.

Good for pensioners,
Like free birds.
Sorry only of them,
Pension satisfied.

Good for pensioners,
If you want to sleep, but you want to walk.
And you want grandfathers from the bench,
Seduce to tea with a cake.

We were sitting on a bench,
The young scolded.
We are at their age about sex,
Have not even heard.

When you receive a pension,
It’s good to live in the world.
I don't know until the next
Will I be able to survive.

Good in retirement
I stick out all day on the internet.
Grinkle, that or there it hurts here,
When children come.

I don't miss ninety
I'm hanging on the internet.
Young gluing girls,
Everyone wants intimacy with me.

Two old women on the edge
They made a stash.
Spend the denyushki under the stump,
On a steep wheelbarrow.

We need to buy diapers,
Go to them for a pension.
I thought an increase in pension
The pants from laughter had absorbed.

Paid the communal apartment,
The housing coat was helped.
Porridge, eggs, bread, kefir,
We have a grandfather today a feast.

I got an increase
I rushed to the store.
I wanted to buy everything from the shelves,
It was only enough for an orange.

If the pension is small
Right smaller, all things.
Drink juices, drive a cowardly,
You will be always young.

The men were sad
There is no increase in the pension
Without half a liter is boring in the house,
They sit in longing for a bench.

Well, prices in the store,
He looked- eyes in a heap.
Who is that bastard, what to bring
The people decided to the pen.

The receipt came to me
Like, I owe a lot.
Since everything is in Zhek, crooks
I will pay only zeros

Pensions counted.
As always, only a steward was given,
Who taught them so,
So that he himself lived for ten thousand.

Who lived to retirement,
I received a coffin as a gift.
On a hearse bacafalka,
Solemnly taken home.

There are no grannies at the entrances
Each house is unattended.
Al-Qaeda terrorists,
Breeded around.

At least our faces have grown up
We became sharply younger.
I'm eight years old, my husband is five,
Not a damn thing, a mother is a nuclear.

Is God really
Have you rejuvenated us?
Then the deputies tried
So that it was empty.

It’s cool to be young,
And being old is horror.
We must go to work,
And health cannot be returned.

You see badly, you hear badly
You walk badly - a disabled person.
You will often be on sick leave,
And the authorities will reduce.

After all, you have to stand at the machine
Do not sit on the ass.
How the deputies are used to
At your work.

Really, in fact,
Are people in the Duma brutalized?
They will accept such a law
They must be driven from the Duma.

I propose deputies,
It is necessary to urgently teach.
And a salary of fifteen thousand,
Urgently install everyone.

And then we will find out for sure
Why climbed into the Duma.
Whether to think about the people
Or it is to improve his life.

Who will put the mandate on the table
Like a salary is small.
Those, lines and build,
Straight, under the tribunal.

Oh, cheers, amended,
I lay down on the bench from laughter.
And women, that forty -five,
They rushed together to give birth.
Eco make briskly
And for once three give birth to easily.

Women, do not lose time,
And give birth to five children.
From school desk, straight to the hospital,
And the children are full of children.
And retirement ahead of schedule,
You will leave - that's for sure.

Half the country, my opinion is here,
It works without design.
There is no tax from them,
And a pension - please pay.

And the salary is in envelopes,
They give out without envelopes.
Now the hunt is sweeter, now
And a pension - they give everyone.

As you want, sophisticated
Do not dilute us.
Every year it is good
We, who are in profile, some in the anfas.

Lived to a new pension,
Come to the Kremlin and whistle.
Look and put you there,
Monument during life.

Cool ditties about salaries and award

Cool ditties about salaries and a bonus:

I was added to my salary
As much as five rubles.
Let him not go to the deputies,
But in love I am all the best.

I received a salary.
I’ll go to the restaurant alone
Husband, like a judge, to soap,
I will find a groom for myself.

I received a salary
I bought a barrel of "sherry".
To my dear Ivan
He remained forever drunk.

There is a salary, there is money.
It is a pity that there is no health.
I gave my honor
Cute with love.

I received a salary.
I want to tear myself away.
Hang the authorities obscenities,
Struck by society.

I bought a salary
The shoes are very fashionable,
Husband- nails, cable and awl
And I'm sitting hungry.

Where to find the money
Young girl?
Maybe get off my way
Under a thin birch?

I found a solution
Where to find money.
I gave everything to my neighbor.
Happy bearded.

Ah, what a boredom!
There is little money in the bag.
I am a rich cattle
Today kissed.

And without money there is no life.
I do not trade in my body.
How to take a ticket to Paris,
I'm not stealing?

Where can I get the money?
I rush with my grandfather.
He fell asleep, but what should I do?
I will wake up for dinner.

There is a salary, there is money.
It is a pity that there is no health.
I gave my honor
Cute with love.

And without money there is no life.
I do not trade in my body.
How to take a ticket to Paris,
I'm not stealing?

Where can I get the money?
I rush with my grandfather.
He fell asleep, but what should I do?
I will wake up for dinner.

So the holidays have passed
And empty pockets.
The third day we are without food
We are waiting for my mother’s salary ...

On your salary
I will buy a gasket for myself.
The rest is nonsense,
I always want to be dry.

Increased salary
Announced twice a year,
But the soul is in such an surcharge
Still does not sing songs.

Who is it under the bush?
How does the log lie with a layer?
A look, like de would like a matchmaker -
After all, there was a salary yesterday!

Stupid Western investor
Looking for, where to invest money.
Blow to Russia! Here is a salary
You can not pay at all!

Again salaries became higher,
We would be happy here
But prices are like icicles from the roof,
Still grow faster

I went for my salary
But I did not find it there.
They say - went on maternity leave
And from there he sends hello!

Cool ditties - a selection for a male company

Cool ditties - a selection for a male company:

The company gathered us,
Rainty fellows!
Who has no shirts
Who does not have boots!

Our street is wide
Wider than the Shaksninsky port!
We are daring guys
Right word, first variety!

We are hedgehogs guys
We have knives in our pockets.
Who will touch the hedgehogs
He will receive a knife!

We are hedgehogs guys
We have knives in our pockets.
Knives are not accurate
The guys are not chopped!

We are wearing guys
We have bricks in our pockets.
Who will touch the pier
He will receive brick!

From the prison window
I will water the rose.
Let the warders go
A walk!

They shot from the nagan,
Bullets touchy!
All the guys ran away
We were the two!

I flew out of the Nagan
Black currant.
I have a bully
The homeland in the Urals.

I was born in the Urals
My mother in the Urals.
I learned in the Urals
Firmly kiss the girls.

Ninety -nine times
Let's go through the village.
Really for the hundredth time
No one will give us in the face!

Walked the village - the girls were sleeping,
Getting into an accordion - stood up,
Got up, woke up,
The windows dissolved.

Oh, stomp, leg,
Do not regret the boot
Tyatka will sew new ones
Or this will be added.

You will play us this
To take the legs to jerk,
So that all Soplinos
They did not jump before us.

We wanted to ban us
Walk on this street.
Oh, prohibitions,
Do you want in the face?

You, you, brackets,
What are you scumbaging!
They wanted to beat me for a long time -
Yes, start afraid.

Kinzhal has a pen Ala,
The handle curls like a snake -
I'll start a big fight -
Help, dagger, me.

We wanted to beat us
On a high on the mountain!
Yes, you didn’t run into those
We sleep on an ax!

We were told robbed
New dining room,
They dragged the cook
The healthiest!

Tear your arms your legs,
Tear my tongue
I will not say which village
There is a pregnant man!

You dance, dance comrade,
Ground fractions.
On my girl
Do not turn your eyes!

I'm walking around the village
The path is the road.
I will marry then
When the bull is giving away!

Harmonist We have good
We will not betray it!
Seven in the grave is driving,
For him for one!

I go out in a pure field -
It is whole to me.
Eh, earth, mother, mother,
Let me resist!

Break, break down,
I want to break ...
And in truth, tell you
And I want to fight.

I didn't fight eight months
Fists are rusted.
Just went out of the gate -
The lanterns were instructed.

Oh, comrade my eagle,
What have you brought me to!
Brought to the forest of the dark
To the house of public ...

I was beaten, pounded
Everyone was striving in the eye.
Guessed on the shoulder
And I stand and laugh.

I put it with an unfamiliar
I swim along the river
But I can't moor
With a stick husband on the shore

And we have thieves in our village
Tailed tomatoes
Grandfather Petrus tore them
What I'm afraid to say

I don't know how to dance
I just run.
Harmonist young
I will do respect.

My Milka fell ill
She ate a barrel of cheese.
A tie -liner
Inflammation of the gut!

And we do not smoke a comrade
Bread, salt is not eating
We don't go far,
But we are not sitting at home either.

Cool ditties - a selection for a female company

Cool ditties - a selection for a women's company:

I stood on the mountain
The guys argue about me.
What are you all arguing
Yes, you are not worth me!

Fun girls,
Resurrection today.
We take a lot of fame,
For your fun.

Gthey grow out that I'm proud
Not proud, but bold.
I do not set myself high,
But not the last.

I have a white jacket on me
Embroidered, with birds.
Drill needs curly,
And I'm with pigtails.

I know ninety songs
And there are two bags at home.
Go out steamed
Curdled head!

Golved, threshed
Semeychko Gorokhovo.
All the guys are in the conversation
Where is my hollow?

I see Misha through the roof,
Why do I find out.
On a satin shirt,
On a wide belt!

Eh, stuck leg,
Smiling is right.
I went to dance
Though small.

Oh, friend, come out,
Go out on a couple.
Do not fail
Favorite merchants!

Come on, Dasha, we dance,
Let's go ask the fractions.
Really this public
Will we not give a report?!

From a pot two tops
My fly is a sparrow.
I will put him on a bench,
Play more fun.

They say that combat
Fighting well, well.
My mother is fighting
Well, then I am in whom.

Women are judged on the bridge,
That I'm a brisk growing.
Do not judge, aunts,
I am such a breed.

They say about the dear
Skinny, but small.
Dressed on Sunday,
Like a scarlet flower.

I haven't seen a drill for a long time
So I would have looked.
Wonderful songs
He would have been sang.

Oh, friend, dear,
On a ferry, a light.
If the guy does not kiss
He is not a guy, but a stump.

You play, play, accordion,
To beautifully come out.
And I will sing ditties
To be heard!

Oh, we got enough of us,
Give a new shift.
Oh, thanks to the harmonist
I have fun for the game.

I have not seen the dear
Neither today nor yesterday.
What long, sad
Without a drill of the evening.

I sat with the Milenoye,
The snow melted to the ground.
Ptashechki birds sang,
All the flowers bloomed.

The field is white birch
It sways from the rain.
Tell me, dear, quietly,
What are you sad about.

Nobody knows about love,
Only I, yes, drill, you.
And even frequent stars
We looked at us.

I buit, duck, give out,
The songs are funny.
No drill
Listen to the heather brushes.

I will go out to the mountain,
I will be even with the forest.
I'm walking without a drill,
Like a dark point.

They say that combat
I will not stay in the girls
Well, woe to it
Which I will get.

Do not go, girls, marry
Do not praise Babu life,
Will go to the party
Husband mares: "Lie down!"

And it is a pity to give.
And not to give a pity
And they take the envy,
And I'm afraid they will tear it up!

Oh, it's a pity to give
And not to give a pity
Or let break
He will cheer up for three weeks.

Was on the mowing
No one will ask
And the present will tell you:
Who will ask for him.

Eh, dear friend,
Oh, how difficult is the first time:
Hands and legs will be shook,
The whole mattress will shive.

There is a glass on the table,
And in a glass - cotton wool.
If I knew, did not give
It would not be Bryukhat!

On the window there are two rivers -
Blue and scarlet.
I will not exchange for anything
I'm big on a small one.

There are two flowers on the window:
Blue and scarlet,
Better small standing,
Than big and sluggish.

I'm soap on the river,
I cried over the ports.
Where did that toy go
That in the ports of the blink.

Ditties funny funny to tears about the harmonist

Ditties funny cool to tears about the harmonist:

Harmonist, let's wider
You stretch the furs.
We composed ditties -
They themselves are torn from the language.

About health, worrying
I will call the harmonist.
I scare all microbes,
Only ditties of binge.

You are my good harmonist,
I'm your girlfriend.
Play the accordion -
I will sing my ditties.

I didn't want to sing ditties
Sat and shy.
The harmonist only played,
I could not restrain myself!

We are fighting girls,
We vote for the decree:
Harmonists do not marry
Up to seventy years.

The harmonist fell in love
Mini's skirt,
He is a dashing musician
Sorry, a lover is no.

I fell in love with the harmonist
And then she repented -
All three years with a harmonist
She did not live, but flashed.

Harmonist I love
Petya, by the way, too.
I sing fun with Vasya,
I go to sleep to Seryozha!

Do not smoke cigarettes,
They are very bitter.
Do not like harmonists,
They are too proud.

Do not wear blue -
It will burn quickly!
Do not like the harmonist -
All the heart is busted!

Loved the harmonist
Black, it seems.
And he, a red dog,
Gutalin smears.

Not an accordion lures,
Not her cheerful tone.
Licks who plays -
How good he is!

You play, harmonist,
To be hot.
You are not from our village -
We don't feel sorry for you.

The harmonist plays okay
Only handles are hard.
If I knew how to play -
I would replace it.

Oh, and plays loudly
Our harmonist is a drenad -
The third night is not sleeping villages
For the wide behind the river.

I fell in love with the harmonist
But my mother scolds me.
Do not scold me, mother, -
The cheerful will be a son -in -law!

We have no harmonists,
But we are not lost.
If you need to sing songs,
We can cope without them!

Love the tractor driver -
She began to drive a tractor.
Is it a harmonist
I am not able to replace?!

"Lonely accordion"
Suddened suddenly behind the bath.
It can be seen Vasya, harmonist,
I went to wash with Tanya.

Well done, harmonist,
You play loudly!
It's a pity only out of place
Press the buttons ...

Cool, funny ditties about work

Cool, funny ditties about work:

Ah, work you, work,
Only do not go into the soul!
I am a hunt to send you -
Honor to knock you down and arrogance!

In the office in the morning
Sexy Tararam.
So that the people plowed alive,
Zamov wholesale Bos quietly hits

I respect the director,
With her always on "you".
And taking off her panties,
Land her about love.

At work, fever -
A bolt stole a bolt.
Promised the chef for order
Those wholesale anal to everyone.

At work about love
Just say.
At home with his woman
We weak on the intimate.

I am like a driven deer -
Forces are running out.
Babs love both night and day -
More children like.

I don't go to work -
Do not give illness.
I'm lying with a bottle -
Vodka is more useful to me.

Man created work
With a stupid monkey?
Yes, scientists all lie,
To fill your pockets.

From childhood, a terrible octopus is tormented,
I am in his cape.
This octopus is called labor,
I am not more sufficiently!

My wife left me -
Trucks, they say, a loafer!
The whole week is for me -
Hard Monday.

We see only children in a dream -
How they frolic!
Lenter to my wife and me
Give sex!

My head is gone!
Tell me how to be:
Even your table at work
I managed to drink!

Since work without excitement,
Painfully sweetly served:
Without wine and without career
The head does not spin

I'm walking the last day
I'm going to desperate:
I'll break all the shovels,
I won’t go to rob tomorrow.

Our factory is high,
On it, the roof is green.
Pray, women, God:
She would have failed.

Shakhtar has a soul in the body,
And the shirt lice is stolen.
Shakhtar chop, Shakhtar beats,
Shakhtar is sinking.

Ay, my girlfriends,
All with joy they are.
And I, girls, with sadness,
I was pumped into the factory.

Our master from the factory
He gets young ladies.
Only we from that work
Only pennies remain.

Ay, in the factory they conduct
The pipes are copper.
Look at the factory,
What are pale.

I work for five minutes
Hour at a smoke break.
I burst for two hours a cake,
Three for manicure.
Here is such a day I have
I am the head of the wife!

I'm not afraid of work
If with a sober face.
I am lucky and I am not sung -
I’ll beat the records!

I'm not afraid of work -
In sex I beat records!
But I'm not in a hurry to the machine -
The bank of the breed!

I'm not afraid of work -
In childhood, he was not a whiner.
Sorry, I'm in a hurry in the Duma -
I'm a politician now!

I'm not afraid of work
I was held in high esteem.
On the Kremlin
Frighten for the bastard!

I'm not afraid of work -
I mean a deputy!
I know the anthem by heart
With a fatty dog!

I'm not afraid of work -
There was a hero once.
I am struggling with poverty now
With a funny salary.

I'm not afraid of work -
I will take the flea.
I will get my own, I will achieve -
Money instead of x ... me!

I'm not afraid of work -
I am ashamed to live in slavery.
You are a slave of the century, Russia,
With such wealth!

I'm not afraid of work
But for now, I am homeless.
I am in no hurry to be a slave
The authorities have bourgeois!

I'm not afraid of work -
I do not want to be farm.
I will go with the opposition
Sobchak has in the country!

I'm not afraid of work
I am afraid of corns.
And I'm in a hurry from the factory
Discharge into Olya.

I worked until you drop,
The body was depleted.
Wives of the bosses of all in a row
I successfully seduced!

Ditties about moonshine, cool vodka

Ditties about moonshine, cool vodka:

We caught up the moonshine
A lot, liters two hundred.
All the neighbors ran up
Do not fit, at least crack

How were the first,
Already in a liter in a burn.
Did not calculate the strength
And they vomit all night.

And Jamshut got drunk in Zyuzu,
Hugs right now Marusya.
And told me -"You know paradise,
We have sex here, and you are walking. ”

The warriors came to us,
And they didn’t get drunk so.
Like power, but to Drybadan,
Shout -"still mold in a glass."

Sveta watered everyone
Without a snack, as a sin.
To look better
I eat grass from a compost heap.

Well, sivuha and stinks,
The beeter nostrils plugs.
I drank a liter, drank two,
And sent all the guests to ...

Moonshine is better than whiskey
And with a snack in two sausages.
This is right already a banquet,
I drank and no happier.

We drive ourselves, we drink ourselves,
Come in, we pour you.
We will drink and congratulate everyone,
And we will insert an enema to the enemies.

Pling, burst the coil,
I am not used to overloads.
Let it get used to the infection,
Well, I have never swallowed once.

The flask was brought to the helicopter,
Slostly devastated.
Well, at least we are a pilot
I did not pour a fool.

Grandfather's grandfather expected
Bake, cooked, fried,
Moonshines two buckets,
I put it under the table.

The grandfather announced the grandfather,
I went to Kuma for a conversation
Grandfather beasts from jealousy,
The moonshine warms the soul.

Brazhka rumbled violently,
I climb into the cellar - snack there.
Cute tractor parks his
Right now I pour it into a glass.

Seryoga is a guitarist,
The moonshine is three hundred liters.
And in the cellar of the barrel
Salt mushrooms.

The moonshine stocked up
And they climbed onto the hay.
Yes, with such a sugrev we, we,
We can drink here until spring.

I'm going to kuma on dumplings,
I take moonshine with me.
When sober - it is very sad,
And how to drink - groovy.

Divorced the mash to eat
So that the whole family is enough.
Guests are full, guests are drunk,
Only I did not have enough.

The neighbor has it, I know
Alcohol mashine.
He drives him at night,
And instead of oil, he pours into the salad ...

Vodka is our everything,
We can’t live without it.
After all, both in joy and in grief,
We drank, drink, and we will drink.

On birthdays and christening,
In the anniversary and in the name day.
Flowering faces, but we drink,
As we bite, we pour it again.

Serenada sang Demyan,
Until I was drunk,
And how vodka began to drink,
I could not even speak.

I have one care
Children, husband, family, work.
And my husband has a darkness of worries
Vodka whips, eats and drinks.

I met Vera at the barn
What hides behind your back?
Op, vodka! A whole liter.
I am isolated now saliva.

Wait, do not rush
Let the vodka bread.
And not without recharging
You can stretch your legs.

Andrei told me yesterday:
"Milka, pour vodka."
Wait for a discharge,
After all, it does not get up from vodka.

It doubles in my eyes
Two wives - do not fall.
Yes, perhaps it is necessary with vodka
Do not part, but skip.

Undress, go through.
Remove felt boots
If vodka was brought
Pour it rather.

I scream, but he does not hear
Vumsmerty is drunk and barely breathing.
You need to ask: "Will you be you?"
This is the only way to wake him.

How lazy the millennoks
He just sleeps and drinks vodka.
Master's debt, infection,
The fifth year does not give.

Vasya threw vodka to drink,
He began to speak in Turkish.
Sex wants or eat,
Not a damn damn understand.

There is a glass on the table
But there is no vodka in the house,
Here is the trouble, it will overdo it,
In a neighboring gastronom.

Better swill vodka!
And not observed.
To her, mushrooms and herring,
The snack relies

Milka pricked me
With caustic words,
I will drink vodka with grief,
In Tikhory, behind the stove.

Quarrels, squabbles, we forget
While we drink together,
And the vodka will end when
It’s time to start the fists.

I don't drink tea without crackers
And vodka without a snack.
Drag the cabbage and mushrooms,
Eh, Gulin in Russian.

Boots leaked,
They are already asking for porridge
Sweet vodka drinks without demand,
Without a snack, even.

Like plywood, flew by
Very in a hurry.
The store was closed,
Without vodka, B strangered.

Cool short ditties for a feast about a hangover

Cool short ditties for a feast about a hangover:

There is a bottle on the table,
And in the bottle cognac.
For a snack at an hour of a hangover,
Salt cucumbers of the tank.

We are a hangover in the morning
They did exercises.
No vodka, no snacks,
Aida dance in a squat.

I went through my Kolya yesterday,
The fool got to the will,
And now the hangover is tormenting
And the stomach from the Grasses flows.

Kum from Big Bodun,
Like a neighbor's punks,
The pancake pissed the whole entrance.
Let him drink less, and eats more.

Has the head hurt by morning?
Drink brine or strong tea,
And for the future Fedya,
Do not interfere with beer vodka.

I went through my Klim yesterday,
Although they drank with him,
I want to dance and sing
And he is sleeping, well, like a bear.

There is a bottle on the table.
Where we will take the willpower,
Pipes burn at an hour of a hangover,
Oh, how I want to give.

We are a hangover in the morning
They drank any mutant.
Under the injection now in the hospital,
We are smeared with alcohol buttocks.

Draised the whole evening of the throat,
We drank everything and gobbled up.
Damn there is no habit of your mother
Leave the reserve in the morning.

As always, the shepherd is succumbing.
Slightly alive, I stuck to the hut.
And shouts: "Wife, come on,
House of Wilmias. "

In the morning they drink all coffee, tea,
And I can only come in handy
Do not raise the head to the head
E-mine from the bed.

With a hangover, a mumbled erysipelas,
Oh, the fate is damned.
Ugly appearance,
And the head hurts.

You are great the power of a hangover
And the brine was bored.
A little kefir helped, from him
They sat in the toilet in the toilet.

We walked around the whole salary
There was a cool banquet yesterday,
Well it is necessary, so much drink,
There is no grammulk on the sorrough.

We gone to glory,
Barely pull the relics.
And the son -in -law in the brine is cucumber,
The mother -in -law sleeps in the bath ……

After the holidays with us,
Oh, the head hurts.
What can you do, since vodka,
We have a brutal appetite.

After the holidays with us,
The faces were swollen.
So the booze was a success
And the holiday was good.

After the holidays with us,
Opokhmelka is the upper class.
Cucumber brine,
To prove yourself here.

After the holidays with us,
The dishes are interrupted.
There are no grates, and there is no vodka,
And the mug is not shaved.

After the holidays with us,
The toilet broke.
Disabled gas and water
Chipat we go to nature.

We walked around the whole salary
What we have and what we drink.
Okay, at least a communal apartment
We managed to pay.

Ditties funny, funny for a birthday about guests

Dithes are funny, funny for a birthday about guests:

We sang with guests
All the neighbors cried
They say they are tired of listening
Frog croaking!

Pine grows on the mountain
With long needles
Guests come to me
Whole villages!

Oh, you are dear guests
You didn't stay closed
After all, the owners are on you
I looked in plenty!

Help yourself dear
Cute hospitals,
From my chic dishes
Your brushes will burst!

We are healthy and rich
But this is not the main thing
Give us the emirates
And the seas for swimming!

Goodbye, goodbye,
Well, goodbye,
Come to visit again
Then we will fall over!

Come to visit me,
It will be very fun
My rooster will perform for you
Dawn song!

I will open the door wide,
I sweep the path into the house,
So that the guests do not forget
Where do they go later!

My guests are expensive
Generally cheerful
That the owners are with happiness
The cellar failed!

Pir! Walking! Dance!
And some are already singing
Today we do not plow the earth,
And just a gulbish goes ...

The dishes are beating, chairs bend,
And the floor walks with a shame
Our people are visible,
They know a lot about a party.

The hostess rushes in sorrow,
Goussed everything! And everyone is sitting
And valuable spoons were stolen.
Eyes do not look at this.

“Come on, guests, let's drink tea!”
She dared to offer
And the guests answer in chorus:
"What we drank, we will drink ..."

For the fact that you came, the guest is dear,
Let's move the glasses in the first toast.
Let the day not come in life,
When guests will not knock on my house!

Come to visit me
And write me friends.
Through the virtual bridge
Everyone calls today I.

There is food on the table:
Cucumber with potatoes!
I'm not afraid of work
Especially with a spoon.

Oh! What a beauty:
Bunks, sausage.
What is delicious - yes,
And, what is useful - a fairy tale.

Oh, cucumbers from a can -
This is my dream ...
Cherries, garlic salty ...
Without pickles, life is empty!

I really like to eat
I am varied!
Duma does not torment me
About the dangerous food.

Eat, people, you are at night
Eat, people, you are on lunch!
Such a short life ...
One skeleton told us!

There is no much food,
If you know how to eat.
The Swedish table happens
You just need to sit down.

Cool ditties for an anniversary man, woman

Cool ditties for an anniversary to a man, woman:

We are ready to sing ditties
What a cheerful holiday!
You sing to us too,
Surprise with your hearing!

On the birthday to sing ditties
One pleasure,
After all, girlfriends are given
To howl at the same time!

You have time to sit on a diet
After a birthday.
And today eat everything
You are without regret!

Mark birthday,
Pour hot tea.
You can also live
So, pour vodka!

If it is taken by surprise
Birthday again,
Then take a loan soon
Walk without regret!

It became dear to us to live
The flippers will stick together soon ...
We will open it, so be it,
On this day of birth!

Crisis, crisis is sick of
Telik his ears buzzed.
It is better to sing and dance,
Celebrate birthday!

I'm going to the table
Like a restaurant,
There are only delicacies here
Admire yourself!

We give you a gift
You will open it in the evening.
And ditties will come in handy
You will still remember them!

Don't judge that we don't know how
We beautifully sing songs.
We croaked ditties
We must regret the neck!

On your birthday go to the bathhouse,
Fained with a broom, my friend!
And the girls will help
They will run to the light!

Birthday, birthday,
Sausage, herring.
Make us the culprit of us
Dear vodka!

Our handsome-an ironic,
He is a philosopher and politician.
Understands everything
Even cope with the nail!

You tidied up, combed your hair
A colorful tie put on.
Prepared treats,
To please the department!

The birthday man is young,
Young beautiful.
Can you take a selfie with you?
You are painfully cute!

Oh, jealous wife,
With a birthday person!
Be softer with him
It will kiss sweeter!

You are a sausage with a cucumber
With onions, horseradish and egg,
Crumbled, tried
I tried to treat!

We appreciated okroshka
The birthday man praised
Culinary, nuclear Mother,
There is nothing to say here!

To visit us for barbecue
Invite the birthday man.
We are for you to the dacha
At least we’ll move on foot!

The birthday man is our fisherman,
He will take a fish for fish!
He is with salty trout
Takes off just like that!

Coal is needed to
Maintain combustion.
And friends are needed for what
To drink at the birthday!

You are good for everyone for a marvel -
Tell me, the secret is?
You always look beautiful -
In the morning, in the evening and day!

The harmonicon plays well,
Good heel knocks!
Kiss the anniversary
For her gorgeous look!

Well the boy is dancing
And laughs at the whole hall.
Who is so young
Did you write it to anniversaries?

So that you do not walk on foot -
I will give a car!
You will travel to the Oka.
Guess, in which hand?

So that the heart does not hurt,
The head was not spinning
Rest today boldly
And throw your business!

Eh, what are our years -
We are alive by nature!
What to look at the passport -
Better we will sing songs!

There are many anniversaries today,
Anniversaries too
But we will congratulate him
Who is more expensive for us all.

Your anniversary - what a miracle!
He is beautiful, he is good.
That's why today
You can’t leave without gifts.

Jubilee anniversary
I will change to rubles.
If everyone does this,
Tomorrow will buy Lada!

Anniversary worries,
You tired me!
I'm leaving on maternity leave
For the next three days!

Jubilee is a big bump,
Yes, out of the blue:
It does not have a hundred rubles,
And has two hundred!

Our anniversary is dear,
We are glad for you!
Drink a glass with you
We are more important to a reward!

Cool ditties for a wedding for a feast

Funny ditties for a wedding for a feast:

Like a butterfly, I flutter,
Like a bee buzz!
Because I am today
Girls, I'm getting married!

Oh, the matchmakers turned on,
Yes to me on Sunday,
You still love me
And not this Ksenia!

Honey rolled me,
On his Land Kruzer,
The traces are still left,
He has on the back!

I'm not afraid of my mother -in -law
I am a bold girl!
And I'll walk along the street,
Like a white swan!

The groom wore flowers to me,
Roses and lilies,
Under the window I voted
Songs are unloved!

I then told him:
"If you want, get married"
And from your vocal
I am not at all in joy of life!

Oh my mother -in -law,
Look at me!
I'm such a good son -in -law
Even better - nowhere to take!

I give my daughter to marry,
And I dance and sing!
Starting from this day
Mother -in -law will call me!

Blows blood in veins,
I am happy for my son
I am now called mother -in -law,
And the son is a man!

Wedding sing and have fun,
Dance until you drop
She gave her daughter to marry
The groom as a reward!

Do not look for me, mom!
I fell in love with a gypsy
I'll sit with him on a horse
Remember, please me!

Oh, daughter -in -law, take care,
My son,
Tea for him and pies
Give me a darling!

Eh, walk, have fun,
The guests are dear!
I became a young wife, I
Going behind Cyril!

I will clap your hands
How good he is!
The year frolic with me,
Finally got married!

If I show mom,
I am my beloved
My mother will not give
Our last name!

Your beloved
I met on the Internet.
It turned out my neighbor!
How did I not notice?

I have big plans
I want to marry a lot!
I'll get up early today,
I'll go look for my husband!

How many boys around
Eyes scatter!
I won’t get married better ...
I all like them!

My dear invited me
To watch in the cinema!
Said that we will
In places for kisses!

My father -in -law is expensive!
Let's go fishing!
You will take your wife
I'll take a hut!

I'll be friends with my father -in -law
The uncle is good!
I will buy a skirt for myself
And he will be fucked up!

I dreamed about children
I did not eat, did not drink.
My dear tried
I immediately gave birth to triple!

I'm early this morning
She married Ivan!
I will be true to my wife
Only affectionate be with me!

Do not live without you
My dear!
You have a father, a magnate
And who is mine - I don't know!

I'm on a date today
I won’t go to my sweet.
She is about the universe to me
Always scratches nonsense!

My wife is a fucking.
For me, she sorry for the cutlet.
Wants to make me, brothers,
New vegetarian!

I bought it in the store
I am all kinds of spirits!
And now I am fragmented
I attract grooms!

I gave my mother -in -law a "wheelbarrow",
So that she rides!
And she is five days in a row
I was terribly indignant!

With mother -in -law we are girlfriends
Steel bosom!
Relations are such as
Very atypical!

He fascinated me
I immediately offered to marry.
I did not have time to agree
I decided to marry another!

In vain today shaved her legs,
And plucked an eyebrow,
My dear did not come to me
Apparently, love is over!

I don't want a wedding suit
I will be better in jeans
Anyway to me what to go
Marry you!

I don’t understand something, girls,
They don’t get married.
It turned out that teeth are rare
Legs form a circle!

If I become a sex bomb,
I will not restrain my feelings.
All the male population
I will lay stacks!

She has crooked legs
There is no waist at all
Nothing that the nose is big
House, but in Italy!

I invited the dear
In the river to swim.
How she undressed
I began to doubt!

I have a nimble millennok,
It climbs to kiss.
Well, I'm even faster -
I began to undress!

Cool ditties congratulations - pleasant wishes to the hero of the occasion

Cool ditties congratulations - pleasant wishes to the culprit of the celebration:

On this holiday - bright and wonderful,
Say congratulations to you from your heart!
On today's day, so lovely,
May yours bend your mood!

Let not go off your lips,
And let the rainbow shine in the eyes!
Let the good come to you,
Every day is pleasantly surprising!

You will wish you health
I want the largest.
And never to know
Not troubles, and no grief.

And how to learn
All your dreams came true.
And like bees on jam
Euros and rubles flown to you.

And it was not that days are inconspicuous,
Only a light warm breeze.
Wealth, joy and happiness!
And three -story tower.

We want to wish luck
And health is complete WHO.
At work to be appreciated,
And they loved to tears.

And friends are only true,
Even, life roads.
Let luck be a friend
And let God accompany.

And even more light,
Happiness, joy, warmth.
The most joyful moments,
And good luck forever!

We hasten from the bottom of my heart to congratulate you
And a lot of benefits to wish!
Sincere words send a hundred,
So that you continue to dream.

Health to you, in a life of success,
Smiles and sunny days
Happy childish laughter
And feelings that are not stronger!

Let the grief forget
Your address and phone,
Will be strong and healthy
After a day of work, sleep.

He meets the morning joyfully
Light, sun and warmth,
And it will always be comfortable
To return a sweet house.

Let love fill your heart
And arrange a salute in it,
May friendship always reveal
The parachute to your aid.

Let the dream not leave you,
Inspiration will not cool down
And Rington sounds joy.
Happy Birthday!

I wish you happiness,
Let it always be lucky in everything,
Funny and beautiful days,
Bright everyday life all year round!

Let the delight shine in the eyes,
Joy lasts long, long,
And he makes dreams
To prosperity is the road!

I wish you noisy delight
Friends of reliable and love,
Let there be a lot of good luck
Success is rather inspired!

Revenues are growing unrealistic
Health grows stronger every day,
Nadezhda delicate beckoning
And there will be a full house for happiness!

Let your life be free
Flies in the skies with an arrow,
And let him never fade away
Good luck golden fire.

So that in case always and everywhere
Success only expected you
And to popularity rating
Your personal took everything higher.

Let the sun always shine from heaven,
And he will warm your soul,
So that there are no dark moments
In your radiant fate.

A lot of wishes
I always want to say!
There would be a reason for dreams -
Then there is something to wish!

Let the ideas come true
And things are done!
And while all the glasses ring,
Do not leave the table!

Happiness, good health
And success in business!
Live in harmony, with love
And swim only in flowers!

We wish you from the heart
Good luck, happiness and success.
Let you not meet lies
And let the difficulty not hindle you.

Let the joy be knocking on your house,
Let the trouble with the side bypassing.
And let at the festive table
The fun always wanders around.

Let it be in life on "5":
Love, work and family,
Let them always surround you
Your reliable friends.

Video: Group "Dilijans". Ditties in Russian only for adults

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