The advantages and disadvantages of the eternal bachelor, the reasons why men remain bachelors, stories from the life of bachelors

A bachelor is such a tempting word for women who dream of finding their soul mate. He is free - it means that he will not have to lead him out of his family, he will be able to devote all his time only to her, but is everything so cloudless?

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How many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity thought so, but over time they all understood, here the case is hopeless. It is this freedom and the lack of obligations that become an extra strain on the bowls of weights, outweighing all the advantages of marriage. So who is he, this eternal bachelor?

What are the advantages of an eternal bachelor?

Lack of children. It is unlikely that a man who does not want to bind himself by obligations will agree that any of his temporary passions is happy to make him heir. So if you you claim the heart of an eternal bachelor, the fact that the alleged family budget will decrease by the amount of alimony, you can not worry.
The absence of "former". He was not married, therefore, no woman can blame you for "taking away from the family of your husband and father." Of course, a complete guarantee lack of calls of offended competitors No one will give, but other women can also claim a legal husband.
Adaptation in everyday life. Living alone (in this case, we are not talking about those who continue to be under my mother’s wing), such a man probably mastered actions such as washing, cleaning, cooking. He knows how (and in what size) utility bills are made, Where is the store, the hospital. Such independence is a very valuable quality.

The inability to compare with the former. It happens that in a second marriage, a man begins, in one case or another, to put his first wife as an example. Like, and the hostess was not an example of the best, and cooked tastier and more diverse. If there was no first marriage, all these comparisons are not automatically impossible in your favor. True, there is a risk that he will begin to set an example for his mother, but not only bachelors, but sometimes legal spouses sin with this.
Possible fatigue from loneliness. And this happens, especially if a man does not deliberately let women into their lives due to various phobias, And looking for his ideal. And if you are lucky to meet the criteria of this ideal, then you can only envy such a relationship and future life together.

What are the disadvantages of an eternal bachelor?

Possible egoism. It is this quality that often becomes the reason that a man does not want to share his anxiety and problems with someone, Caring only about their own. And even if at first he is courteous and gallant, it is possible that with the further development of the relationship of his “ego” it will still come to the fore.
Casanova syndrome. It is possible that a man is simply used to being in the center of female attention. It is flattered and provides him practically Unlimited possibilities for choosing. And it is unlikely that he will be able to dwell on any of the women, because there are so many other, no less beautiful around!

Dislike of women or fear of them. In the first case, the eternal bachelor will simply use you, asserting that in your own eyes and the eyes of others. In the second - to close from you with all available methods, to avoid any contacts.
Unwillingness to change the established order. The bachelor, accustomed to a lonely existence, in which he is the owner, will be annoyed if the dishes are not where he is used to, but in the cabinet, and in the bathroom there will be many cosmetics of an incomprehensible purpose, instead of the usual razor and shaving cream. And it is difficult for him to come to terms with the fact that now he is not the master of his free time And I have to reckon with how a woman wants to spend him.
Inability to build relationships with a woman. The lack of such a bachelor of a permanent girlfriend in the life leads to the fact that a man simply does not know how to behave with a woman, how to “adapt” to her, be able to understand the female point of view and intelligibly and convincingly present his male.

A man does not know how to build a relationship

Possible constant presence of mom. This is a very difficult situation for permission, because a mother, who completely subjugated his adult son, is possible to “outplay” only in exceptional cases. Therefore, as the majority of experts in family relationships warns, special illusions to “taming the obstinate” in this case should not be nourished.

Eternal Bachelor: 7 reasons for such a man's life

There are many similar reasons. But we can distinguish the most characteristic reasons for a man to remain an eternal bachelor, which include:

Infantility. This is a condition in which an adult man continues to feel like a small child, in everything dependent on his mother and unquestioningly obedients to her. And if the mother is against the daughter -in -law (moreover, in such cases, as a rule, the mother does not accept any woman “encroaching” on her son in advance), then such a man will never go contrary to her will.
Infantility
Sociophobia Or, more simply, the fear of society, people, including women. Men who are subject to such misfortunes are simply unsociable and avoid any close and trusting relationships.
Heightened self-esteem, which turns a man into narcissus, a priori considering any woman unworthy of herself. Such types are sure that they should be achieved, and they, in turn, can descend to someone, but only for a while.
Narcissus
Against, low self-esteem, Which creates a lot of complexes in a man, because of which he is not able to adequately evaluate himself. Neither a woman nor their possible relationship.
Inability to build relationships, Which gives rise to real stress, if necessary, take a further step. And the older the man becomes, the harder he even try to learn to do this.
Fear of change in life. Since childhood, everything is smooth somehow on its own: school, university, work. All such familiar and established, and suddenly-his habits, hobbies, and even his favorite television programs or places of rest will have to be coordinated with someone and even inevitably sacrifice something.
The sad experience of previous relationships. If the first feelings or the first love novel of a man crashed, he can simply “rush” from any new relationship from the reluctance of repetition of disappointment, resentment and mental pain.

If you understand why the man you are interested in prefers not to connect himself with a relationship, you may be able to find a means by which you can “eliminate” this reason.

Can I cope with the eternal bachelor?

As psychologists say in one voice - you should not take on such a hopeless business as to cope with the eternal bachelor. And bring the following arguments in confirmation:

If a up to 40-45 years The man has never been connected by marriage, then he is considered an eternal (or old) bachelor. Therefore, you need to be a very self -confident woman in order to expect to do something that many of her predecessors did not work.
Usually for men, work is extremely important. Ambition, the need to feel successful is what takes all the time and mental forces of such a man. And if he enters into a relationship, then only in the light and minor ones, which will not require all of the above costs from him. Serious relationships, and even more so - family ones, do not belong to those.

Even if you expect to conquer your idle chosen one with the help of care, creating atmosphere of comfort for him, delicious domestic pies and other “family values”, then your efforts are unlikely to be successful if your chosen one puts a career and financial well -being in the first place. Modern household appliances will create coziness and prepare dinner, so by and large he does not need your care.

Permocialist boods Strive for the ideal. They need the best woman, the best children, high material prosperity. Needless to say, there is no limit for perfection, as well as the concept of "the size of material well -being." Today he has a goal-a car, and tomorrow he will decide that without his own yacht, on which he will be able to roll the most charming woman in the world and a couple of chubby kids, the family is irrationally. Of course, behind all these reasons is also worthwhile not to guess with the choice, as well as fear of violating the established rhythm of life.
Conquer the type of pronouncing-pronoun Perhaps only when he reaches old age and understands that there should be someone who will care for him, i.e. In fact, he will need not so much a wife as a nanny-ging.

Psychologists are sure that, despite the differences in the characters and types, as in the reasons that led to such a position, the longer the man remains in bachelors, those it is more difficult for him to decide to change his status. And if he still did not see the point of creating a family, he is unlikely to see him in the future. In addition, over the years, he has learned to avoid situations in which a woman can "catch him on a hook." Therefore, spending many years to “squeeze” such a man is simply pointless.
In theory a man who has survived the pain of treason, you can tame Surrounding with care and affection, but there is no guarantee that, having cured, he will stay with you, and will not go into new searches.
Kazanov (again theoretically) can be tried tie a child, After all, oddly enough Men of this type are very fond of children. But this love for the offspring will not be able to change his behavior towards his spouse, and his love adventures will still not be the end and edge.

How they become eternal bachelors: stories from life

34-year-old Maxim He experienced his life drama when his beloved girl, whom he was ready to offer his hand and heart, suddenly appeared another. But even with Maxim, she did not part, apparently trying to determine which of the two is more promising. Feeling like a “spare airfield”, the guy could not put up with humiliation and wounded pride - he left. Since then, he tried to meet with other girls, but already in the behavior of each of them involuntarily tried to notice something confirming her infidelity. But if you really want to see, you will definitely see. Therefore, despite many love ties, Maxim is still alone.
Nikolai 40, And he uses the benefits that the woman’s presence in the house gives. But these women are constantly changing. The man sincerely loves each of his partners, but as soon as a new woman appears on the horizon, he also sincerely fond of her. A couple of times he was even ready to make an offer, but at that moment another beauty appeared in his field of vision and ... ...
But Andrei, who is already 46 years old, According to him, a woman has not yet met in life who would give him like a real head of the family - a breadwinner, a defender, a leader. Modern women, Andrei is sure, are too independent and do not need the support of a man, namely, this support for a fragile woman, he sees himself in marriage.

All these and similar stories explain to us how they become eternal bachelors. Is it possible to convince such men in their beliefs? Alas, as experience shows, this happens extremely rarely. But there are exceptions to the rules, therefore, deciding to get the eternal bachelor in husbands, do not lose hope. The main thing is to understand which factor is the main thing in its unwillingness to change the status, and then acting in a way wise, tactfully and affectionately.

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