Why is the child growing an egoist: what to do with this, how to fix the gaps in education?

Why is the child growing an egoist: what to do with this, how to fix the gaps in education?

Most often, children from birth are accustomed to constantly being in the center of parental attention - they help the baby in everything and many things do instead of him. As soon as the child begins to cry, adults are gathering next to him, who begin to console him and try to calm him down.

When the child is growing up, he must learn independence, his parents take away such an opportunity from him. They continue to run to save their child at the first cliche, even if the request for help is caused only by his whim. Thus, not wanting it, parents begin to beat off the baby's need to do something himself. Over time, this method of education can lead to the fact that the child will grow up a very spoiled and selfish person.

Signs that the child is growing an egoist

In scientific psychology, selfishness deciphens as an overstated pride.

  • A selfish person in any situation gives preference to personal interests without thinking about others. Sometimes an egoist receives his benefits, to the detriment of the interests of other people.
  • Psychologists say that children's egoism, manifested up to three years of age, is natural. It is called innate needs. During this period, the baby only learns the world and learn to distinguish good habits from bad ones.
  • However, despite the fact that the child is not able to give an objective assessment of his actions, his parents should help him in this. From birth, behavior models are laid in the child. Do not scream at him if he does something wrong, but be sure to point out mistakes to him.
  • If you miss the moment of proper upbringing of the child, this can lead to irreversible consequences - the child will grow up with an egoist.
Do not look out of sight obvious notes of selfishness
Do not look out of sight obvious notes of selfishness

Manifestations of children's egoism:

  • In the life of younger schoolchildren, I am situations when they are constantly fixated on their person. Most often, they use the word “I” in speech only from a positive point of view.
  • On the one hand, this is a good sign. At this age, children want to show others their abilities and talents. In addition, parents begin to nourish the positive self -esteem of the child, agreeing with them and telling what a wonderful baby to others they have.
  • On the other hand, constant praise of the child, not for his real achievements, but only because it is small, is a pernicious solution.
  • This approach instills in children a sense of superiority in any situation. They will know that in any case, praise awaits them, so you can do anything. First, this can result in children's pranks, but as they grow older, they will grow.
  • If a 7 -year -old child grows an egoist, This manifestation happens in situations where parents try to fulfill all the desires of the child to the detriment of themselves. In the event that they do not have enough finances for constant whims of their child, they borrow them.
  • Seeing that all his desires are fulfilled, you just want to, the child grows up consumer and manipulator. He will absolutely not care how parents will have to get the money next time. The most important thing is to satisfy your desire.
  • If it is wrong to behave with a child to an egoist, sooner or later, parents will see that their children have grown up cruel, greedy, selfish people.
It is important to work out negative manifestations in the behavior of the child
It is important to work out negative manifestations in the behavior of the child
  • Another manifestation of selfishness is infantility - immaturity in making independent decisions and preserving the behavior model, as in infancy.
  • Such children will remain helpless, even when they grow up, because they perceive custody for granted. In their souls, they will always remain small moody children. It never occurred to them that care should not only be taken at their own expense, but also give it to others.

Why is a child growing an egoist?

Why is the child growing an egoist:

  1. The immense love of parents. This is the most common mistake by parents today. Because of their immense love for children, they once again do not want to upset them and point out mistakes. If you do not accustom a person to be responsible in time for his actions, then over time he will have a feeling of permissiveness.

    Immordical love can play a cruel joke with a younger child
    Immordical love can play a cruel joke with a younger child
  2. Lack of independence. If parents do not allow their children to perform, even wrong, any actions without the help of others, it will also form a child of selfishness in the child.
  3. Fee for good deeds. It happens that parents fall from extreme to extremes and offer a child’s material fee for any of its actions. Until you bring good grades from school - you will not be able to get sweets or phone. You won’t finish a quarter or year well - we will not go on vacation. That's when you win the Olympics, then we will buy a scooter. Such a strict method of education is also not acceptable. In this way a sense of altruism is destroyed in a child -The willingness is disinterested to perform some actions without taking benefits from them.
  4. Demonstration of a bad example. Since childhood, the usual model of behavior for humans is the behavior of his parents. In the case when mom and dad do bad deeds, justifying them only with her age, the child will be able to hide the resentment and perform wrong actions for evil. It is always worth remembering that age is not an argument that allows parents to demand from children the model of behavior that they do not adhere to themselves.

Child - Egoist: what to do, 7 tips on raising children

If you have a small child, these tips will help you check or adjust your behavior model so that it does not grow an egoist.

  1. Stop monitoring every step of the child and pointing to him errors. Each child who has reached school age should have a certain set of responsibilities. He must perform them without outside help. Even if at some stage the child makes mistakes and incorporated unpleasant consequences for them, this is the only correct model of education. Only in this way can he learn independence.
  2. Be careful. Despite your fatigue, you are interested in the child’s affairs daily. Ask how the day went to him and whether he needs your help. If the child understands that they are interested in, over time he will also be attentive to others. And to you, including.
  3. Praise when he share the stories of friendship.If in a conversation with you the child begins to tell you about the positive qualities of his friends, praise him for being able to rejoice at the successes of other people.
  4. Get your pet. If possible, get a pet. The animal in the house will allow a child to raise a sense of responsibility, faith in friendship and independence.
  5. Do not force the child. Do not force your son or daughter to do some actions just because you said so. Even if the child has to do what he does not like, it is necessary to indicate what positive results he himself will lead.
  6. Do not argue in front of the child. In each family, conflict situations inevitably arise that can lead to a scandal. But you need to understand that the children's psyche and the perception of information are much different from the adult. Therefore, try to never argue and not find out the relationship with the child, as this can destroy his formed certain picture of the world. Also, do not pretend that everything is in order. Try to immediately put up with your family and show the child the real sincere emotions of harmony in the family.
  7. Ask for help. If you do not have time to do any business in the house, then ask the child to help you. No need to build a situation in such a way that helping you is the obligation of the child. Let him come to this. Also, after the services provided to you, do not forget to thank your son or daughter. Such a model of behavior will allow you to relax a little from home worries, and at the same time instill in the child the quality of generosity and kindness.
Ask the child to help
Ask the child to help

The feeling of stability is very important in the formation of personality. It will allow the child not to grow an egoist. Always try to raise a child in an environment goodness, generosity and altruism. Remember that you, as a parent, are always the main example for him to follow.

Let us consider in more detail the topic of selfishness:

Video: Tips from a psychologist, how not to educate an egoist in a child



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