A man is an egoist - is it worth it to get married? How to deal with the egoism of the husband, beloved: a psychologist's advice

It is very difficult to live with a man with a man, but possible. The situation is not always deplorable and it can be fixed. In our article you will learn how to recognize an egoist and re -educate it.

Content

We all know that egoists love only themselves and very sad if the husband lives according to this principle. It seems that you fell in love with a normal man who is an enviable party, but it turned out.

Undoubtedly, while we are in love, we do not notice anything around, but after a while the bad side of this lack is revealed. And in the end, it turns out that the husband is the Narcissus, and not at all a lover of healthy lifestyle, and he is no orator - he simply does not know how to listen to others, and his economy is ordinary greed. And now what to do with it all?

Who are egoists and where do they come from?

As a rule, selfishness begins to form from childhood. To figure out where your husband came from, you need to find out what people he lived with, whether they loved him, whether he had complexes and so on.

Mom's favorite with dad

This situation is often found in families when children are brought up one at a time. Everyone spoils him, give gifts, do not scold and fulfill any requests. In other words, as our beloved son said - it should be done. Accordingly, he gets used to this, and now, becoming an adult, he does not understand that in life not everything revolves only near him. He believes that everyone owes him, his desires should be fulfilled in an instant, and disobedience threatens with a great scandal and hysteria. It is almost impossible to re -educate such a person.

Sissy

This option is something like the first, but only a man grows not selfish, but also demanding. Moreover, his mother will climb everywhere and give advice, which he will definitely obey. If you got such a husband, then get ready for his whims. He will also tell his mother everything, and she will support him. In addition, you will always be bad for her.

With complexes

If a man was brought up in a dysfunctional family and he had to endure dumps and mockery of peers, then in adulthood he can achieve good success. Over time, he will understand that he can be loved and even learn to demand this from others. Of course, having met a woman, he will demand love from her. In this case, not everything is lost and you can fix such a person.

How to determine that your man is an egoist: signs

It is very bad when you have to be disappointed in a loved one, because you have offered him and considered it ideal. To prevent this from happening, try to recognize the egoist in a man in advance, and the following signs will help you with this:

He always transfers a conversation to himself. Even if another person speaks of his problems, he will still translate the conversation to himself. After all, his problems are more important. Or even his joy will happen. Then he will tell everyone about her, without exception, so that everyone will be glad with him. That is, your conversations are not interesting to him and he considers them empty chatter. But what he says is always important.
His other people's problems are absolutely not interested inAnd therefore, support is definitely not worth waiting. Although, if it is beneficial to him, then at least empathy can be achieved.
He cares about his appearance. Every woman likes it when a man cares for him and looks good. But over time, it will become noticeable what he does, he is too carefully, even better than you.
Any egoist - womanizer. He is not very important to love, how much the possibility of self -affirmation. He behaves so that women pay attention to him. I must say that he succeeds. That's just not the fact that they will have a relationship. And besides, even if the relationship is tied, then most likely not with one woman.
He wants to be a leader so that others perform his whims. Someone is not going to obey the rules and simply interrupts communication with such a person, and who is softer, begins to obey. He always tries to look for people in his surroundings who have too kind character and they do not know how to refuse. If a woman is just that, then he will be happy to climb on her neck.
He is not generous. If there is no benefit for him, he certainly will not pay. Although, if his childhood was very difficult, he can still buy an ice cream box in an orphanage, but he wants everyone to be aware of his generosity and admire.
Even sexually, selfishness is manifested. He always decides which pose to choose, and also how much everything should last. It doesn’t matter to him whether the woman will experience an orgasm. And God forbid you not to tell him after sex that it was enchanting. He may be offended.

What to do if you fall in love with a man of an egoist - is it worth it to marry him?

Often, girls are aware of the seriousness of the situation when it's too late. Yes, she loves this man, he has already made an offer and is going to the wedding. But is it worth it to marry him?

To answer this question, you just need to think about what life awaits with such a person. After all, it is impossible to re-educate him, because the egoist man will definitely not become a henpecked.

So, if we consent to marriage with an egoist, you will have to endure everything and admire it. If a woman has a flexible character, and she is also afraid to lose it, then she will have to put a crown on him, and the form of a servant. This is a real moral masochism, but under his fame it is so warm.
Undoubtedly, you can endure, but you need to take into account at the same time:
You should not wait for special tenderness. But you yourself must give it back, and also constantly praise it.
He will decide who you are allowed to communicate with, but with whom - no. His parents will always be in the first place, and yours - if he likes it.
He may be an abyss and not explain anything. Even if he has a mistress, he will never admit his guilt. He will convince you that he does everything right.
All finances in the family are under his control. At the same time, his generosity will only apply to himself. He can buy a fashionable down jacket and he will not feel sorry for 15 thousand rubles, and you, in his opinion, can do with a simple jacket for 3 thousand.
Learn to be silent and do everything implicitly. So you will avoid the wrath of His Majesty. Yes, you must do the farm perfectly.
Yes, of course, it is difficult to live with such a man, especially if he does not give in to re -education.
Although, there are advantages in male egoists:
It’s never ashamed to appear in public with him. He will never allow himself to look bad and it will always smell pleasant from him.
By nature, he is a leader and will not stop at anything to achieve his goals. His career goes uphill, and this is good for the family.
Once on a high post, he will convince people of his innocence. Often, egoists are choleraiks and excellent speakers, so it is hard to argue with them.
Even if the egoist goes off scale, then he will bring money for his comfort. And the children will be in abundance, because they are his, and what is connected with him should be the best.

As you can see, life with an egoist can be good, but provided that you will please him in everything. So, is it worth you to marry him - decide for yourself.

How to live with a man egoist after the wedding?

So, you still decided to marry him. It seems ideal to you in all respects, if not for his egoism. Now we have to do something with him. We will immediately make a reservation that this is an extremely difficult task. After all, it is almost impossible to re -educate an adult, especially if he himself does not want to.

However, it is worth working on a person who, a month after the wedding, forgot that one must be gallant, empathize, help and support. Do not be surprised if now he stopped washing the dishes, it does not matter to him how you are doing and he does not even call for gatherings with friends. So, there are all signs of selfishness.

And here no excuses that you have chosen a man incorrectly work. Little by little passion passes and the veil subsides. Here you fully see who you had to contact. Be sure, we are all to some extent selfish.

Of course, if you are faced with a true tyrant, then there’s nothing to think about here - you must run without looking back. But if this is a banal egoist, then try to understand the reasons for this behavior. Maybe you yourself contributed to this.

Why a man behaves selfishly: reasons

We have already said that selfishness begins from childhood. But that's not all. A person can grow quite adequate, capable of suppressing his impulses, and here he has a loving woman who compensates for the lack of attention. She begins to actively perform every whim.

He will not have time to ask to cook something tasty, and then the table has already been set in front of him. And it seems to be an ordinary day, and the wife tries with might and main.

Is it bad? No, not bad. But you don’t have to pamper the spouse constantly. It is better to do this periodically, otherwise you yourself will make it an egoist who will choose what he is, will scatter things and dirty everything around. And you will silently run and clean everything after him.

Every woman understands that sometimes a man wants to spend time with friends. But only this should be in moderation. And some allow their beloved to go to bars and clubs at any time, and when it becomes a constant pastime, they try to appeal to common sense and prohibit it. And what is their surprise when a man actively begins to resist, and does not see anything bad at all. He just does not understand why suddenly it stopped arranging you, because before everything was fine.

By the way, it is important to say about work. It happens when the husband after the wedding begins to actively look for work, while leaving the old one. And here's the bad luck, the payment is not the same, then the schedule is inconvenient, then the work is not for it in general. And such excuses can be poured for months. As a result, the husband will not even try to find something, although he will not cease to dream of highly paid work.

It would seem to his wife that he was simply lost, that he needed support and even tries to find a place for him. As a result, he will not even go for an interview, and even begin to scold that she is looking for a job for him. But in fact, such a person does not need any support. He is satisfied with how he lives - you will make money and do everything around the house, and he can lie and do anything, and at any time leave to relax with friends, because he is tired.

Do not endure such behavior, because you just drive yourself into a hole, where it is difficult to get out. Before you are an ordinary lazy person and an egoist who comfortably settled on your neck and he does not want to send from her so much. It is better to part with such a man as soon as possible.

How to deal with her husband’s egoism: tips, recommendations

To change their spouse’s behavior, some women start with themselves, and try to just adapt. Yes, if your case is not neglected and selfishness is not so clearly manifested, then it is quite possible to put up with it. But a woman should be wise, patient and even cunning. Not all women have such qualities. Although, you can always try.

If we talk about unbearable egoism, then you must definitely deal with it. By the way, in most cases, indifference may be a consequence of poor awareness and ignorance.

If you are faced with just such a situation, then talk seriously and say calmly that you are not satisfied and offended. You should not wear all the insults in yourself, because sooner or later you will explode and then there will be a big scandal. Maybe you during the conversation yourself will understand why for him some points are considered the norm.

By the way, some believe that the difficulties in life are intended in order to cope with them. If you adhere to such a theory, then accept an egoist as a test that will allow you to grow spiritually. No, it is impossible to keep silent and endure all his antics. On the contrary, you must show him that you can love yourself for him.

Remember yourself

Look how beautiful you are. Well, are you really unworthy of the best? Go at the beauty salon, update the wardrobe, and also the hairstyle. You should not drive yourself in a corner simply because your husband will be dissatisfied or considered it a useless waste of money. After all, he can buy something for yourself, but why can you not?

Stop doing everything for it

Do not forget that a man should also help around the house. If he believes that this is the prerogative of women, then he is deeply mistaken. These times have been passed for a long time, and women did not work then and could engage in the house at least all day.

If he collects socks behind him, put his shirts in the underwear basket, wash the plate and so on, then nothing will happen to it. You can do a very interesting way. For example, you are tired of collecting socks. So just do not do this. When the husband’s socks end, and after the next washing he will not find a single pair, then tell me where to look.

Perhaps you will face the fact that you will be accused of everything. But do not forget that you are not a cleaning lady and are not obliged to select absolutely everything for him. Doesn't want to collect? Let him walk in the dirty. Believe me, if it does not work out the first time to convey the necessary information to it, then it will turn out from the second or third. In any case, do not give up. The man will learn to do everything himself over time.

If he refuses to help in housework, even take out the garbage, then just stop getting to fit. Yes, the mess is not fatal, but when a man gets used to order, he will begin to act. Yes, he will first push you, but do not give up. If he does not start to do anything, it is better to just disperse with such a person.

Encourage it

It often happens that a person does not like to make unnecessary movements by nature. And therefore, a man can scatter underwear, refuse to run away after bread, take a walk with the child and so on. To encourage him to action, start the morning with a delicious breakfast and praise for any, even the most insignificant things. Believe me, he will be pleased. In addition, do not punish him for what he did not do, but only for real acts.

If a friend came to you-a successful person, then praise him for something, but so that there are no insults to the spouse. As a rule, smart people immediately understand that they did something wrong or did not do and think.

Do not drag everything on yourself

If your husband just sits at home all day and does not mind going somewhere with friends, but does not want to work, then you should not be silent in any case. If you miss your chance, then you will have to listen to excuses all your life why it does not work and does nothing.

Stop “dragging” absolutely everything, even financially. Tell your husband about your friend or relative, who began with small and achieved great success.

Sexual egoist - who is it and how to fight?

Egoists, as a rule, show love for themselves in everything. There are no exceptions for them. They behave equally regardless of circumstances. Even in the bedroom. They are used to getting pleasure from intimacy, but whether it will be good for a partner - this is the tenth thing, here it will come out. Although, do not be too soft. When he experiences pleasure, he will immediately turn away and fall asleep, or go into the shower. What to do in this case?

Try to bring it to a frank conversation. Tell me what suits you and what - no. It happens that he simply does not know that his behavior does not suit you and sincerely believes that everything is fine.
Do not be afraid to show the initiative, lure it, interest it. Make your sex life more diverse, he will definitely like it.
Do not think about sex just as a physical need. Be tender, sincere, show how you like everything.
In bed, think only about the process. No need to look at the stains on the ceiling, remember what you still need to do and so on. Plunger into the process and relax. So you both enjoy.
Often men become egoists from the supply of women themselves. If for her sex is something routine, then over time he simply will not take care of the pleasure of a partner. Then show that you are also interested.
Never dismiss intimacy for invented reasons. It just so happened that men need more sex more than women. And your life will become brighter, and relationships will also be given if everything is fine in bed.

Is it worth living with my husband Egoist?

Often, when a woman understands what a man she came across, she immediately begins to think about a divorce. But do not solve the problem immediately in cardinal ways. After all, men are mostly egoists. Immediately run only from a tyrant and despot, and you can still cope with a simple egoist. To do this, use tips above.

It can be very difficult to work on a family relationship and every day you need to solve some problems, overcome obstacles, and so on. And everything will really be easy if two people really love each other. It is enough to be more patient and smarter. Learn to act correctly and make concessions. Forget about scandals and tantrums - this will not help.

If you resolve the issue with a change in the behavior of her husband competently, then everything will fail. In addition, it can be made by a real altruist, as well as a responsible and decent person.