Egoism - what is it, good or bad: examples. When you can be an egoist: methods and 10 reasons to develop healthy egoism

In the article you will find out if selfishness is so bad as many are used to counting. When is selfishness appropriate?

Content

Selfishness: what is it, to be an egoist good or bad - examples of selfishness

In society, the opinion has long been assigned that an egoist is a very bad person. Moms and dads, grandparents have been raising children in the spirit since childhood - refuse yourself, but share with a friend. If the child shows an unwillingness to live and act in the interests of others, he is generously awarded with reproachful glances and instructive statements about how bad he is.

As a result of his growing up, a person humbles himself with his fate and with the understanding that he is no one. What to be selfish is bad.

Fortunately, not all parents do this, and not all children become anti -egoists. In modern society, you can find many those who are raising children in a tribute on the principle - you are the best, and no one. This practice is also in most cases not correct and can touch the interests of other people.

Where can I find that middle ground when you can live for your pleasure and not offend anyone. There is an opinion that you need to learn how to separate super -egoism and reasonable egoism.

Important: selfishness is a behavior in which a person puts his own interests above the interests of others. At the same time, on the way to the goal, a person hurts the interests of other people, is not considered at all with the opinion of others.

Examples of selfishness:

Egoist considers himself better than anyone else and a point.
The egoist knows only two opinions - his own and the wrong.
The egoist is indifferent to many, but he puts himself above all.
Egoist cannot enter the position of another person.
He is waiting and is sure that he should concede him, but he will not do this.
In any of its actions, it seeks profit or openly requires it.
It goes ahead, despite what causes pain to others.
It requires love and respect for his own person, at the same time he himself cannot offer anything, and does not consider it necessary.

There is still a golden mean between super -egoism and self -abasement. It is called healthy egoism.

Important: healthy egoism is the ability to live in your interests, while not contradicting the interests of others. The behavior in which a person knows how to find a balance between his desires and the opinions of other people.

Examples of healthy egoism:

A person with a healthy sense of selfishness pays primary attention to his interests, while he understands that there is the opinion of other people and is considered to be him.
He is not afraid to express his opinion, even when it does not coincide with the opinions of others.
Respects the desires of the partner, while not changing his principles.
When choosing in favor of yourself, it is not tormented by a feeling of guilt later.
He knows how to refuse if the offer does not suit him.
He also knows how to accept the refusal, making it without resentment, complaints.
Such a person is ready to compromise.
He knows how to refuse what, in his opinion, is able to harm.

Egoism is not good and not bad. A healthy egoism should be present in any of us. To condemn a person for the fact that he is an egoist is incorrect. The only thing that not everyone can come to terms with the degree of manifestation of selfishness in a certain person. If a person is super -egoistic, this can adversely affect not only people around him, but also on his own life.

Many are accustomed to mistakenly believe that being an egoist is great. Such people go ahead, and all the doors open in front of them. In fact this is not true. It’s great to be a reasonable or healthy egoist. Such a person can build his life in such a way as to maintain a good relationship with others and at the same time not to live to the detriment.

The reckoning for super -egoism is loneliness. People who are super -egoists cannot build a trusting relationship. Their acquaintances end with superficial communication, even close people can turn away sooner or later, because such behavior is socially unacceptable.

When necessary and you can be an egoist: 10 arguments for a reasonable egoism

Consider cases when reasonable egoism is not just appropriate, but necessary:

Unloved work

Many do not even imagine that work can be a joy. There are many people who do their jobs with pleasure, and all because at one time they found what they like. Do not linger in the company, company, if you don't like the work. Look for what you like and find. Here, of course, the salary plays a decisive role, but you must set the goals of your dreams. After all, a huge part of our life is spent on work, you need to live it in pleasure, and not in eternal discontent and remorse.

Wage

Many are embarrassed to ask for a salary additive. At a time when others ask and receive. Many are delayed at work and do not pay extra for this. While others clearly voiced their position that their labor hours should be paid. If you do not see the prospects for the growth of career and financial, do not cling to this work, look for something new. Healthy egoism is to pursue their goals not to the detriment of others. Don't you and your family deserve the best? Enrich yourself, not your bosses, if you do not see a valuable shot in you. It is important at the same time, it is realistic to evaluate your capabilities and contribution to the common cause.

Know how to say no "

While others are inaudibly mutter under their breath, others know how to say no if the situation is inconvenient for them. Because of their inability to refuse, people give in a loan, even if they did not want it. Due to the inability to refuse, people agree to work extracurrically. Due to the inability to refuse, people fulfill the whims of loved ones and friends who are contrary to their desires. Who is suffering in the end? Only the person who simply could not say one simple and solid word “Sorry, no!” In such situations, you need to be an egoist, otherwise you risk becoming a comfortable rush stick for those who will quickly understand that you can be manipulated, but you cannot refuse.

Excess friendship

There are people who do not bring you happiness, joy, benefits, while taking a bunch of free time, they can dump their problems on you and burden with their requests. But at the same time, if you ask for something, you may be refused. Many have such a girlfriend who constantly calls, takes a lot of free time, while you cannot rely on her. And there are a lot of such stories and examples.

An attempt to get rid of excess friendship can drag on for many years. Learn not to waste your time on dubious friendship, because instead you can start a friendly relationship with a good and close person to you in spirit. Do not abruptly interrupt communication in a rude form, just give a clearly and clear to the person that you have other concerns and you simply do not have to do it. Of course, such a person will be offended, but this should not disturb you. Do not even think, reproach yourself and feel guilty.

A family

In the minds of many women, there is an understanding that you are a woman, you are a mother, and you just have to do all the best for your family every day. Some households are not considered that mother is tired, that she also wants to relax and do her favorite business, instead of serving the family. At the weekend, a woman will clean, wash, cook, and households can at the same time watch TV and go about their business.

In this case, a woman simply must be a “selfish”, let's call it this and attract all family members to help. Children can remove in their rooms, you need to accustom help from childhood. The husband can spill or clean potatoes. And then the whole family will spend a day off. If the households do not want to help, let them take care of themselves, the mother should also have a day off.

Children

It is not uncommon when a husband and wife, not loving each other, live for many years in marriage for the sake of children. People who are unloved to each other deceive themselves, trying to portray the illusion of happiness in marriage. It is easier for them to do what to try to explain to the child that mom and dad will now live separately, but at the same time still love the child. Do not sacrifice yourself with fears, stereotypes and fear of responsibility for your life.

You need to take responsibility for your personal happiness, even if you are called an egoist, even if you are dissuaded and condemned for depriving the child of a full -fledged family. The best way to make a child happy is to show him this by his example. The same goes for a career. Often you can hear the mother reproaching the child: “I threw work because of you, and you ...”, “I quit my job in order to spend all the time with the baby ...” and in such a spirit. Do not refuse career if you want to work and achieve career heights.

Move to a dream

Many are still faced with this on the verge of release from school. When parents choose a university instead of a child, not considering that he would like to enter another. This can be presented so cunning that a person will consider that he himself made his choice. And only after a while can he understand that in his life he turned the wrong way. Over time, spouses, bosses and others can influence your choice. A reasonable egoist at the time will understand that this is not his desire and will be on the path to his dream, even if everyone will dissuade him.

Excess politeness

If you have the habit of apologizing for any reason since childhood, you need to correct it a little. If you have stepped on a foot in the subway, you need to apologize, of course. However, do not apologize for someone else if his inadequate actions can be associated with you. Everyone should report for themselves, for someone else-no. For example, you went with a girlfriend in a cafe, she went over and began to dance on the tables. You should not apologize for her behavior, she herself is responsible for her actions. Refusal of excess politeness concerns many spheres of human relations.

Sex

In pursuit of desire to give pleasure to a loved one, some forget about their pleasure. In addition, many women are worried about how they look, the extra pounds are too noticeable, whether their hair is ridiculous. A healthy egoism should also be present during sex. Firstly, it is worthwhile to stop thinking about such things as the appearance, ugly tan and similar little things that are not important to your partner. Secondly, you should think about how to get pleasure and surrender to passions without rear thoughts. Then your partner will be happy, not only you.

Love for yourself

Remember the phrase “Do you want others to love you? Love yourself at first! ” This phrase means that it is necessary to learn to understand your desires and not deny yourself. For example, do you want that handbag? Buy it for yourself. Instead of then constantly remember and regret it. This is a primitive example, but expresses the essence of the issue. A person who loves himself radiates happiness, he can give others good and good mood. It is easy with such a person.

On the way to healthy egoism, try not to become super -egoists. Your egoism should be within the rational and not run away to free swimming. The phrase from the Soviet cartoon “Love yourself, sneeze at everyone, and in life success awaits you” should not be perceived literally. It is not necessary to sneeze for everyone, but to learn how to love, respect your personal space and value your own time, is certainly worth it.