Why is a man emotionally cold? Aleksitimiy - characteristic of the state

In the relationship between a man and a woman, various problematic situations can be observed. In particular, sometimes couples are found in which women cannot understand why a man is emotionally cold to all its manifestations of care and affection. Next, we will delve into the very origins of this problem in details.

Most often, men to women show emotional indifference. Because ladies can show their feelings brighter and they are less rational in relationships. Although the male part of the population is prone to emotional breakdowns in some situations as well as women. The only thing is exceptions when it is simply impossible to reach a person, he reacts quite calmly to any manifestations, and, it seems, not to embarrass him. Why a man is emotionally cold in a relationship further.

Why is a man emotionally cold?

If your chosen one is not ready to let you go, but does not try to get closer to you too much, then the causes of this condition may be different. Often a woman wants to finish such a relationship as soon as possible, not to have anything in common with such a man. But invisible threads hold you, despite the fact that doubts gnaw inside. Why is a man emotionally cold, why holds, avoids all kinds of discussions about the future, about love?

Sources of emotional coldness can be the following reasons:

1. To him i like to play, you are an interesting person for him, but seriously with you he does not want to build anything. In this case, he invents many reasons only to disappear from your life for a while, and then from boredom will appear again.
2. He has hard experience with a girl. Therefore, he does not want to emotionally become attached to you. Not ready to experience a new disappointment again and does not want to lose a new partner.
3. He has perfectional inclinations. The constant desire to search for an ideal woman will reduce all the relationship. The man will always indicate the shortcomings of the lady. Therefore, he will definitely not emotionally become attached to a woman.
4. U workaholics Always in the first place career and material values. They even, being next to their beloved, think about finance and work. Therefore, the girl does not have to count on some emotions. We'll have to be content with small.
5. For many men is important financial stability. Therefore, when a woman cannot distribute funds, complains about the lack of money, he begins to close, emotional closeness is manifested.
6. The male thinks not to match you. The reason for this attitude may be your external beauty or a higher financial situation. Therefore, he does not risk emotionally with you. He is afraid that you are ready to break off relationships at any moment.
7. Psychological problems. A young man simply cannot express his emotions. This is such a condition as Alexitimia. A man is not able to determine his emotional states, and therefore cannot express them.
8. Problems on the Personal Front. Men have parents or friends who are sick or they have material difficulties. Therefore, there is simply no strength left for emotions, until a personal character resolve.
9. If you have absolutely various goals in life. When your desires go against him, he will ignore you and continue such a relationship while they are beneficial to him.

So, the causes of emotional cold are different. And now, according to the characteristic given above, you can determine why the man is emotionally cold. And then we will dwell on psychological problems in more detail. After all, people suffering from Alexitimia simply live without emotions, they do not manipulate other personalities, can love, but do not express their feelings because of inability.

Signs of Alexitimia, state characteristics

The bulk can perfectly express their emotional state, give a report that moves them when committing an act. But some do not understand well what emotion is. Why the man is emotionally cold, back in 1973, explained the famous psychoanalyst Peter Sifneos. He noticed that patients with Alexitimia are not able to express feelings not with words, nor emotions.

Alexitimia is manifested by the following signs:

• The difficulty of determining any emotional states of their own feelings or feelings of other persons.
• There is no sensitivity in bodily sensations, men do not experience any special emotions when touching, etc.
• It is difficult for Alexitimetics to fantasize.
• It is easier for patients to focus on some external problems than to experience experiences.
• Men are prone to logical thinking, love specific actions, are ready to immediately make decisions, do not try to plunge into secret desires.

Important: the researchers noticed that men are stingy with emotions, do not see bright dreams, and if they see, they are too rational and not full of actions.

There is a type of men who do not admit love, do not give girls beautiful gifts, and even more so - flowers, not because they do not like their chosen ones. And because they are not able to express their emotions. Why is a man emotionally cold? And the most test compliment that sounds from his mouth: “Oh! You look normally today. ”

Girls are worth it before starting a new relationship, to understand a man well. After all, there are simply restrained people, but there are banal egoists who simply do not need your feelings. The guys stingy on emotions still show their feelings not by emotions, but deeds. These are reliable men, they say little, but do a lot for family well -being. And the egoists are not in a word, nothing to reinforce love.

Aleksitimia is a tendency to not manifest their feelings, the ability to logical thinking. From 5 to 24 percent of the total population of the globe suffer from this disorder. The ailment can have a person from birth, as well as acquired. Congenital Alexitimiy is poorly treated, most often the reason for its violation in the structure of the relationship between the hemispheres of the brain. Treating such conditions is not easy, and sometimes impossible.

And the acquired syndrome can manifest in older people, even in physically healthy ones. Aleksitimium appears after psycho -trauma, stressful states, as a result of shocks. The upbringing of an individual is also of great importance. When the parents are low -emotional or, on the contrary, hyperemotional, then their children become unable to distinguish feelings.

In the male part of the population, Alexitimic features appear much more often than in female. About four times more. As psychologists say, this is due to the fact that in society it is customary to raise boys more courageous, they say that a man should not cry.

An emotionally cold man, how to live with him?

Women are more often more emotional than men. It is unlikely to argue with such an assumption. Without an emotional component, it is impossible to convey real feelings. Why is a man emotionally cold, does not give a woman any emotions? It is because of this that she thinks that he is completely indifferent to her. The reasons have already been established above. What can be done by the girl if she had to love just such a guy.

The wisdom of previous generations showed that it is possible to find a common language in this case to partners. Happiness should be achieved. Without patience, the ability to understand his beloved, to accept him as he is here cannot be done. The main thing is to understand that it will be impossible to change it to some extent.

And if you decide to continue such a relationship and have children, then be prepared that you will have to give your emotions, love to your children literally for two. Otherwise, this emotional restraint can also transmit to your child.

You should also give yourself to all 90 percent and paired. Because there will be no manifestations from her husband emotionally. This is serious, not every woman will be able to withstand this, be prepared for a serious problem. After all, emotional burnout can threaten you. The only hope for the return of children when they grow up and confidence in the love of her husband, who will show her with care of the family and not feelings in any way.

Emotionally cold man, how to find an approach?

To any person should find his approach - whether it be a woman, whether it be a man. But there are difficult cases, and despite this there is a second half for any individual. A truly loving person is always ready to go to the end to find the points of contact with his soul mate, to make their relationships happy. When a man is emotionally cold because of the psychological component, you can find an approach to such a person.

This will need patience and make efforts:

• You should love a man as he is. The advice sounds too simple, but for emotionally cold men it is important to know that a girl understanding next to him. He needs trusting relationships, constant quarrels and scandals will not lead to anything good. The partner thanks to them will only become a victim of emotional burnout and nothing more. Men with such a syndrome as Alexitimiy is not able to understand emotions, it will be, as always calm. And relationships may not be destroyed through his fault, but through the fault of a partner. Therefore, it is better for the girl to immediately prepare herself for the fact that quarrels in their relationship are completely useless efforts. Relations can only be established with understanding.
• Follow his positive manifestations in relation to yourself and in his behavior. Over time, you will understand how he shows his concern for you, what actions do for this. Perhaps he will hug you more often, gently react to your caresses. Repeat that you really like it. Thanks to this, it will become more sensitive.
• Realize that you are still a man with you. And even ordinary men are not able to be on bright emotions, and here a person also has a psychological disorder in addition. It is more valuable to have a promise that he will give you a star from the sky, but confidence in a strong family. This is what your man will strive for. In order to have where to waste your emotions, it may be better to start a pet, or start to engage in yoga, grow indoor plants.

And finally, if the problem is in your family too acute, then try to go to a good psychologist. Thanks to his experience, your relationship is changed for the better. And you will look at each other differently. Gain understanding and peace in the family.

Also on our portal you can read articles on the topic of relations between men and women here:

1. Why is a greedy man?
2. Resentment of women at their father and, in general, for men;
3. Who is more painfully tolerates?
4. Stages of relations between a guy and a girl, how to strengthen the relationship?
5. How to be offended by a man to benefit from the conflict?

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