In this article, we will talk about how to properly be offended by a man so that he understands everything, and the relationship is getting better.
Content
Resentment is a kind of manipulation to obtain what is desired and with this emotion it is extremely difficult to fight. How to properly be offended by a man so that he understands you and at the same time not to quarrel?
How to be offended by a man so that he understands you?
So, there are several good tips that help to conduct a constructive conversation.
- Let me subside of emotions
Immediately, as soon as you felt an insult, emotions that decide everything for us enter the battle. That's just worth holding yourself in your hands. First you need to calm down to behave calmly. So it is better to move away from everything and wait, otherwise you will break firewood. If you are calm, then there will be more arguments on your side.
- What do you want to get
Before starting a conversation, decide what you want to get to get. Just for the man to understand you - it is not considered. Here, for example, so that he no longer late, is quite suitable.
- Speak directly
Some prefer to be silent and hope that the man himself will guess about everything. This is a great misconception. Moreover, you should not do this with your favorite people, because you are not specially offended by them.
Tell your husband what exactly offended you. This should be short in the case, without describing your emotions and details. Only after that can we begin the discussion.
- Start with good
If you start a conversation from the prosecution, then it is doomed to failure in advance, because you will fight and nothing more. It is better to praise him, say something pleasant that was in the situation that you did not like so much.
- Use the "I" messages
Do not blame and say "you." Explain what you feel what you are worried about using, "I". And it is difficult to argue with your feelings, because this is yours. And when there is no reason for the dispute, it is much easier to negotiate.
- Do not set conditions
If you set the conditions to the man, and he violates them, then be sure to do what you promised. Otherwise, all your ultimatums will be perceived as some kind of joke or just empty words. Accordingly, the man will stop paying attention to them.
- Positive conclusion
When the man listened to you, did how you asked and the dialogue was completed according to plan, do not forget to make reinforcements on a good note. Tell me, he is something pleasant or make it pleasant for him. Believe me, he will also want to do pleasant for you more often.
How to be offended in a relationship: what is forbidden to do?
Many may consider that constructive conversations are boring and not effective. Of course, there is a more exciting option. But he does not always work, as he wants. So, we offer you a selection of harmful tips that is better not to use.
- Do not confess the reasons for resentment for anything
This is the most important component. After all, a man must understand everything himself and crawl with an apology. And you will sit all so proud and still pretend that you will think about his behavior, although they have been forgiven him for a long time. Cross your arms over your chest, turn your back and consult. This will be the first hint that you are offended. After all, he should pay attention to you, otherwise why be offended at all?
- Offended for a long time and tight
After all, everyone knows that the offended is always right. Imagine, the offender comes and asks to forgive him, they directly beg. But you must be impregnable! After all, it is so useful. If you are offended, then you rise above others. The most important thing is that you are right.
And what could be better than awareness of the correctness of your position? After all, let the man puzzle his head! And you just wait. Previously, the cities were taken only by a long siege. So be sure to be patient. But what will be the denouement!
- Do not remember your desires and intentions
All psychologists speak on this subject. Resentment is an unrealized expectation. Do not succumb to him, because you can change your mind that you really should expect. Your needs should be satisfied in the first place, but no action is required from you. Let others think, they must think over everything themselves.
So don't even think about how to achieve your own. Everything should go to the offended independently. And even more so, if you are sincerely loved, they will definitely guess what you think and do as you should. After all, loving people feel each other - this is a prerequisite for relations.
- Do not talk to your husband, even if he asks
When you are offended, everyone should run around. Well, how else, because you are on the pedestal. If you show the reaction, you will have to get down. Why do this if the situation itself is resolved anyway? It's boring! We must be offended so that it is easier to live at the expense of others. No responsibility!
- For a maximum effect, do not show your feelings
You need to sulk so as not to break up ahead of time. Wait a good time, but do not do so often. A couple of times a month is enough. Choose the perfect time so that everything is fine with you, you return home after a joint walk. After all, everything cannot be perfect. It is necessary to somehow complete this happy period.
That's just here and start to splash offense - get angry, orie, accuse and so on. Tell him how inattentive and not very caring he is. In the end, remember that you have accumulated all the time. After that, you will definitely become a winner and he will be your slave.
As you can see, offended in a relationship is very easy. But only such tips are very harmful and to do so very risky. As a rule, after a few months of such a relationship, a man will get tired and can leave you.
How to be offended by a man with the benefit of relationships?
Above, we talked about how to do it undesirable, but this is what some women do. If desired, resentment can be directed in the right direction and make it even useful for relationships. To do this, you need to take five steps.
Step 1. Understand what your resentment is
Of course, this is not easy to do. It is especially difficult when emotions boil, I want to burst out, bite and generally roll up a tantrum. You can cry a little to make it easier and calm down. Take your emotions in order and answer yourself what exactly you are offended and why. For example, he did not come to dinner without warning and you felt abandoned.
Step 2. Separation of responsibility
When you understand what led to resentment, you can proceed in the second step. Think about what to put on him in this situation, and what is on yourself.
That is, what your man did not do, then this is his responsibility, but your reaction is entirely on you. For example, he might not know that it is so important to you that he would call and warn you, that he would not come. Maybe you decided to make romance unexpectedly, but he was not in the know. Maybe he was just tired and decided to stay at home? And he is not aware that you were already offended there.
And you should figure out why this call is so important. Maybe you want to ask if he will come at all. Or maybe they just decided to find out that he is at home, and not at the mistress.
Step 3. Tell a man the causes of resentment
As soon as you realized what responsibility, you can start a conversation with your loved one and express your insult to him, but only within the framework of his responsibility. That is, he must understand the real reason that his actions caused, and not your speculations. This is very important, because women are not always able to explain what the man is to blame for.
Be sure to explain why this offended you. For example, you were waiting for a meeting, but he did not come, you brought Maraifet, and at the last moment he refused to go somewhere. In general, the explanation should be sane.
Step 4. Look at the reaction of a man
Does he agree with your position? Does he support you? Is he ready to correct yourself?
Step 5. Draw conclusions
Only after that can we draw conclusions. And if a man does not mock you, he understands that he is wrong, then you can forgive him and agree on the future so that this is not. Otherwise, if he humiliates, laughs or even believes that everything is fine, think about whether to continue relations with this person.
Try to take these five steps at least once and you will see the results. Relations with a man will pack and will be better. You will understand each other and swear less.
Video: Psychology of relations. How to take offense correctly?
My husband became cold to me. For a long time I did not understand what. I found out soon that he started his mistress. I did not know how to return the former interest in myself. I turned to the WhatsApp 89031708267 magician for help on the advice of a friend. She helped her in the same situation. I ordered a love spell. The result did not force himself to wait for a long time. My husband pays attention to me again. The relationship has become stronger and even stronger. I'm happy! Contact, it will help you return your beloved.
it’s a rarity nonsense did not help