Husband on a dating site: virtual betrayal and ways to deal with it

In the World Wide Web, there are so many temptations and opportunities and no wonder that some married men actively communicate on dating sites, considering this lesson a harmless hobby, a kind of innocent pampering.

I must say that in most cases virtual communication of husbands with other women does not lead to divorce. According to statistics, only 10 % of men are recorded on a dating site in order to change their spouse. For the rest, such sites are only a platform for virtual communication. And over time, a man loses interest in them.

Why is the husband sitting on dating sites?

• When a woman discovers that her the husband is registered on the dating site, It feels deceived. As a rule, such a discovery leads it to a state of shock. After all, to find out what your half is looking for someone on the side is emotionally difficult for any person. And even if physical treason as such did not happen, the woman is still worried that this can soon happen.
• What to do if you learned that your has husband registered on a dating site? How to behave in such an unpleasant situation?
• First of all, shift the focus from the fact that the husband flirts online with other ladies. Give an honest assessment to your union. After all, new relationships, albeit virtual, are looking for those people who do not satisfy the existing ones. Try to understand what's wrong with your family and what needs to be changed. Do not become in the position of an offended princess. Take the position of an adult who strives for a healthy relationship without deception and betrayal.
• Why married men register their profiles on dating sites? Of course, there is no unequivocal answer to this question. After all, you can correspond on the network both for pleasant and frivolous communication with the opposite sex, and for the purpose of real meetings. There are many reasons that encourage family men to sit on dating sites. However, all of them can be combined into one generalizing factor - the spouse is deprived of something or does not receive in existing relationships and tries to compensate for this on the side. No one goes to the Internet, if the real suits him.

Most often, the following circumstances push the virtual treason:

• Curiosity. Many men are simply interested in considering photos of different women and reading their profiles. They are curious than the representatives of the weaker sex live now. Often this happens if a man also met his soul mate on social networks. And at the beginning of family relations, it can be difficult for a person to abandon the usual pastime. Psychologists believe that this case is quite innocent and does not pose any threat to marriage. Over time, the interests of the spouse are changing, and his curiosity for such sites is gradually lost.
• The desire to bring some diversity into your life. It is no secret that over the years, the relationship between husband and wife is becoming more and more ordinary and boring. And the man lacks romance, vivid emotions and impressions. Dating sites are an affordable way to get acquainted and give your life a certain acuity. With the help of an Internetroman, the spouse is simply trying to get rid of the routine of marriage. He likes to feel excitement from the novelty of sensations. As a rule, in such cases, the case does not go beyond correspondence.
• Dissatisfaction in the intimate sphere. Probably, the partner does not receive what he wants in a married bed. He lacks sex, passion, sexual diversity. Gradually, physical attraction to his wife weakens. A man uses a dating site to satisfy his emotional and sexual needs. Correspondence with other ladies gives him the opportunity to speak freely on intimate topics and share his sexual fantasies. In this case, communication on the Internet occurs exclusively for sex.
• Insufficient amount of attention, tenderness and warmth from the spouse. This can be caused by different reasons: the birth of a child, problems at work or household difficulties. Individual men very painfully perceive the lack of attention to their person. Without getting enough attention, the partner can experience a wave of disappointment in marriage. And in a girl from a dating site, he finds an interesting interlocutor who is interested in his deeds and provides emotional support. Sometimes a man does not even hide what is married. And, despite this, many ladies still willingly take upon themselves the role of a comforter.

• Restriction of freedom. Some wives seek to keep their halves on too “short leash”, forbidding them to see friends, go fishing or visit sports clubs. And to make friendship with other ladies in such families is generally considered a crime. It is not surprising that a man is forced to communicate with people with the help of a worldwide network. And, in contact with women online, he creates for himself at least some visibility of freedom.
• Low self-esteem. It may seem strange, but many wives specially or unconsciously constant criticism and discontent underestimate the self -esteem of their faithful. But any male craves compliments and admiration. When a man does not see that his wife admires him and considers the best, he will look for such an attitude to his person on the side.
• Psychological immaturity and unwillingness to take responsibility. There is a category of husbands who simply are not ripe for family relationships. Or are in their nature womanizers. Similar men are vital for always and everywhere to impress girls. Therefore, they flirt with them both in public places and in social networks.
• The desire to get away from family problems. It can be cooling feelings, frequent quarrels, jealousy, old resentment. Outwardly, a man may not show his negative attitude to what is happening in the family. But resistance grows inside it. Not wanting to find out the relationship and directly say about his feelings, the spouse posts the questionnaire on the dating site, thereby protesting against the situation. Psychologists call this behavior passive aggressive. Registration on the site in this case may indicate that internally a man is ready to break the relationship.

• Excess free time and lack of a goal in life. When a person is focused on his goal, he has no time to sit on the Internet. But men who have not found their own vocation and use to their abilities experience constant boredom. Therefore, they kill time on the network, including on dating sites. Often married men make acquaintances on the Internet just nothing to do. For them, this is a kind of game. They like to lead to nothing binding conversations and flirt with the girls. Such a correspondence raises their mood and allows you to kill time.
• Lack of mutual understanding in the family. When a man does not find sensitivity and understanding in his half, he will look for these qualities in another woman. In addition, it is sometimes easier to open to a stranger than a legal wife. Especially if there is no certainty that it will interpret everything correctly, but will not scandal or mock. During correspondence with an unfamiliar person, psychological barriers are removed, and it is much easier to talk about secret things.

The husband corresponds to the dating site: virtual treason - treason?

• Turns out, virtual treason - A fairly common phenomenon, which, according to psychologists, is found in every third marriage union. This type of adultery becomes very popular due to its easy and accessibility.
• Some people do not count virtual treason, betrayal, Explaining that there is no fact of intimacy in such cases. Those women who consider treason exclusively physical contact calmly react to the virtual novels of their husbands. However, most of the fairer sex do not share such views. They are sure that virtual treason is no less betrayal than real.
• Who is right? There is no universal definition, what is considered a betrayal and what is not. Each person decides this for himself, by virtue of his morality, life experience and ideas about marriage. However, even virtual treason - This is, first of all, a lie.
• Any intrigue on the side, real or on the Internet, is a violation of a vow of fidelity given to a loved one, his devoted trust. The consequences of the virtual infidelity of one of the spouses are always the same - pain and disappointment, no less than from real. Virtual romance It gives rise to a completely real scandal and can lead to divorce.

What could be dangerous virtual flirting of men:

• On the dating site, the husband in an accidental interlocutor can find an outlet. Long correspondence with another woman is able to cause an emotional addiction and even the idealization of online buildings in a man. He may have an illusion that the young lady on the dating site is much more attentive and understanding than a legal spouse. Against this background, sincere and trusting relations between the spouses disappear, and the abyss is growing between them.
• Virtual flirting is dependent. And real life begins to seem much more boring and poorer. He is not interested in doing family affairs, and he begins to experience cooling for his partner.
• From virtual acquaintances not far to real dates. The ladies are now very active and often appoint meetings first. According to statistics, every third virtual novel develops into a real connection. This is because it is difficult for participants in the intrigue to stop, and their words turn into actions. It becomes interesting for both parties to look at the person with whom the correspondence has been conducted for so long, and whose seductive photos have excited the imagination.

According to psychologists, virtual flirting It is appropriate in those relations where the second partner allows this, and there is no double standard, when one is possible, but another cannot. However, if you are injured by your husband’s correspondence on dating sites, and he, knowing about this, continues to communicate, this indicates his disrespect for you. Think about whether it is worth to endure such an attitude. Maybe you need to think about another partner and not waste your time and effort on someone who is not worthy?

That a woman should not do if the husband sits on the dating site: a psychologist's advice

The offended woman is capable of rash acts that will only aggravate the situation and make the gap between the spouses even more.

According to psychologists, a woman who has learned that her husband communicates on a dating site should not make the following mistakes:

• Do not arrange scandals. A scandal is the most ineffective way to influence the "guilty" husband. He is unlikely to cease his communication in networks. Just next time it will be hide thoroughly The correspondence and more attentively to clean the history of visits on the computer.
• You should not pretend that nothing happened. And even more so to register a fake questionnaire on the site, so that dilute the husband on the dating site. Believe me, a further investigation will not bring you any relief, but only gives rise to new grievances and accusations. When a woman arranges surveillance for her husband, this indicates that she has no confidence in their relationship.
• No need to start flirting on the Internet in revenge. Do not think that an attempt to cause jealousy in your husband, will make him think and leave the site. Some men are not inclined to fight for their lady and can even more actively plunge into online communication. And this will not lead to anything good, but only worsen your relationship.

• The optimal solution will be a confidential conversation in order to identify the reasons for the virtual betrayal of her husband and try to resume lost mutual trust. It is likely that he simply does not consider correspondence in networks something serious. And having learned that it hurts you, he will go to the meeting and stop talking on the site. A mature man is able to explain his passion for online dating, and if he loves his wife, limit him.

The husband sits on dating sites: what to do?

• What to do to a woman whose does the husband actively flirt on dating sites? How to maintain a relationship in a marriage that began to crack at the seams?
• Before making a decision, remember that destroying relationships is much easier than maintaining. Psychologists are sure that the detection of the correspondence of the spouse with other women is not a serious basis for divorce. If your partner communicates with girls only virtually and does not appoint them dates in real life, it is very possible to regain love and trust in relationships.
• However, it is not enough just to shower the “traitor” with accusations and prohibit him to communicate in networks. Work on the relationship should be mutual. You also need to make efforts to maintain marriage.
• Primarily, calmly talk to a partner about the reasons, prompted him to register on the dating site. Try to the two to identify the problems of your relationship and realize what is happening between you in this period.

It is possible that the cause of the virtual flirting of the spouse lies in his internal contradictions. However, it is likely that your behavior contributed to such a development of events.

Pay attention to what exactly is your husband’s communication on the dating site:

• If he just flirts with girls - So, he lacks communication and the severity of sensations.
• If the topic of correspondence is sex, That man is not satisfied in this area.

Psychologists explain that every three years, most couples have a crisis in relationships, this is due to the cyclical development of relationships. Marriage unions periodically experience ups and falls, passion and cooling of feelings. Communication of the spouse on the dating site is a kind of marker of the crisis and indicates that something needs to be changed in your marriage. Often, virtual intrigues of one of the spouses are the starting point of updating existing relationships.

• Explain to your husband That passion cannot be eternal, but this does not mean the loss of love. Tell me that crises happen in any family, and you can only overcome them together. Learn to talk without reproaches, talking about your own experiences and feelings.

• Try not to put your partner in the position of the accused or criminal. Explain that it bothers you, but you are not going to “spy” after him and limit his freedom. Say that you value your relationship and want them to satisfy his needs too.
• According to experts, most family crises ampinent. If spouses can discuss their own emotional and physical needs without offense, you can always correct the situation.
• And even if you personally do not consider virtual flirting treason, your relationship with your husband still require rebooting. Believe me, in a strong family where partners trust each other, the situation when the husband is registered on the dating site would hardly have happened.

I found a husband’s questionnaire on a dating site: how to return an old relationship?

In order to return the former proximity between spouses, psychologists give the following recommendations:

• Give a man the opportunity to feel the main thing in your union. Let him make decisions important for the family, more often emphasize his supremacy and significance. Finally stop “sawing” your faithful. Vice versa, do not skimp on praise And mark each of its achievements, even if, from your point of view, it is very insignificant.
• Try to spend as much time as possible together. Share it in household chores, often ask for help. Better come up with a joint lesson that both of you like. It can be dancing, walking around the city, mastering new culinary recipes, visiting theaters and art exhibitions, reading aloud.
• Diversify your sex life. Intimacy is a very important area of \u200b\u200brelationship. Arrange romantic evenings with candles, champagne and joint baths with aromatic oils.
• More often talk to your spouse "heart to heart." Share your dreams and secret thoughts with each other. The beloved should be sure that he will always find support in you. If you conduct trusting conversations, he is unlikely to have the need to look for other women on the sites in order to share things with them that excite him.
• Ask if your man has favorite business, goal in life. Help him implement it and send a partner in the right direction. If it turns out that he does not have a specific goal, determine it together. Fantasize together about your joint future. Or tell your husband what you dream about yourself. Ask him to help in realizing your dreams.
• All in all, try to become a best friend for your partnerSo that it does not occur to him to look for support from virtual girlfriends on the network.

But trying to save your marriage, remember that there is a limit to everything. Of course, you must introduce diversity in your relationship, but you are not at all obligated to entertain the man all the time throughout life.

• Often after reconciliation and mutual forgiveness the woman is still tormented by suspicions, and suddenly her husband again sits on the dating site. And no his oaths and assurances can save her from painful thoughts. What to do in this case?
• The advice of psychologists boil down to one: learn to trust your partner. If you forgave your husband’s virtual novels to your husband and decided to keep the marriage, then stop doubting his fidelity.

Lack of trust in relationships will turn your life into Hell. But if you understand that you cannot completely forgive your spouse, and in the future you will still suspect, then it is more correct to break such a relationship. It is better to make a difficult decision once than to suffer from suspicion all your life.

Husband on a dating site: forum, reviews

Reviews from forums on the Internet:

• Olga, 29 years old: I recently found that my beloved is sitting on a dating site. It was an accident. He just forgot to close the browser tab when I sat for a laptop. I am just horrified and expressed everything to him. He did not deny. He said that he was just talking and did not meet anyone in real life. But I do not know whether to believe him now or not. I can’t imagine what to do next.
• Veronica, 25 years: I found out that the husband is registered on the dating site. I wrote to him under a stranger with a fake photo and offered to meet. And he agreed! So all these conversations about “innocent communication” are nonsense. Any man, if he is appointed, will agree.
• Oleg, 44 years: I personally do not consider communication on the dating site by betrayal. I have a wife, two adult children. I love and appreciate my family. But sometimes I correspond with other women on the Internet. I'm not going to change with them, it's just pleasant communication.
• Veronica, 37 years old: I myself have been registered on the dating site, although I have been married for 14 years. I love my husband, but I am pleased to flirt with other men and communicate with them on different topics. Further correspondence does not go. But to be honest, I don’t know how I would react to if my husband was sitting on the site. I probably would not like it.

We advise you to read useful articles about love and relationships:

• How not to remember, let go and forget the ex -husband
• How to attract love, loved one and happiness in love in your life
• The husband does not want intimacy: the reasons - why doesn't my husband want me
• I fell out of love with my husband - what to do, why it happened
• How to keep love and relationship at a distance

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