She fell out of love with her husband - what to do, why did it happen, how to determine her feelings for her husband, leave or stay? How to return love for her husband?

There are situations in family life, when the husband no longer causes those emotions. Let's figure out what to do in this case.

Feelings are not subject to us. They have the property of unexpectedly collapsed or fading for no reason.

Why did I stop loving my husband?

And once a woman can suddenly realize that she no longer loves her husband. She does not want to do something pleasant for him and delight him as before. Sex is becoming a tedious duty.

In her husband, he begins to annoy everything:

• Story and behave
• Laziness
• Inaccurate
• Transfiguration

The reasons for cooling feelings can be different:

• Unfortunate way of life and household habits.
• Alcoholic or drug addiction of the husband.
• Disagreements in raising children.
• Complex relationships with the relatives of the spouse.
• The husband’s difficult character (unreasonable jealousy, constant nit -picking).
• Unacceptable spouse's behavior.
• Emotional immaturity of a woman when marry.

However, such a situation is also likely when the husband is not a tyrant at all, has excellent qualities, and in the family they will not scandal and not quarrel. It is quite possible to stop loving even the perfect man. It’s just that a woman was lost by the severity of sensations, and the heart has gone warm with respect to a person who was once dear and loved.

Psychologists note that the lady usually the first begins to get bored in marriage. In addition, it is no secret that a married man often relaxes and stops taking care of his wife. From the lack of attention, she begins to suffer, which can fall into dislike for her husband.

The basis of marriage is four aspects:

• What every spouse brings from his family family.
• The experience of past connections with other partners.
• Relationship between husband and wife.
• The possibility of further development.

The fourth aspect is extremely important for preserving love between spouses. In their life together there should be something that fascinates both and moves forward together. If this is absent in the family, then the extinction of feelings is inevitable.

Caring from the family is not acceptable for all women. Many do not dare to take such a step. In addition, psychologists often consider such a decision not only as an attempt to get rid of complex relationships, but also as a desire to get away from itself. That is, a woman solves her internal conflict by changing external factors.

How to determine your feelings for your husband: have you really loving loving?

To the fact that love for your husband has gone, you should be treated calmly and rationally. First of all, you need to understand yourself and analyze your own feelings and emotions. It is important to understand whether love is really gone or it only seems to you.

Different causes of cooling to the spouse are possible:

• Perhaps a crisis has come in your family. Psychologists say that it happens after three years of life together. During the first year, the young couple is rubbing to each other, recognizes the habits of their half and faces the shortcomings of a loved one.
• The next year, irritation may appear from the fact that the spouse was not as perfect as it seemed before the wedding. And after three years of marriage, scandals often break out, the spouses begin to clarify the relationship. In these conditions, many have a feeling that love for their half has gone. However, a crisis is an absolutely natural stage in a relationship. The same situation will happen to a new man.

• You have recently become a mother. Often, after the birth of a child, a woman begins to seem that she no longer loves her husband. The former tenderness leaves the relationship of the spouses, intimacy becomes more rare. In fact, just for a young mother the baby's needs become priority. In addition, its feminine principle is replaced by the beginning of the maternal.
• You compare yourself with friends and acquaintances who, in your opinion, are happier in your relationship with husbands. But each family is unique and, as you know, is happy in its own way. Perhaps your relationship with your husband, although not so passionate and sensual, is much stronger and warmest than others. There can be no examples in love. And a guideline for other people's relations never leads to success.
• Sometimes the cause of cooling is just boredom. When your family is outwardly prosperous, but nothing new and interesting happens in life. Life goes through the ordinary circle, where there is no place for bright emotions and sensations. In such circumstances, it may seem to you that the marriage is unsuccessful and you no longer like your husband.
• Distinguish the bouquet-context period from ordinary family life. It is clear that at the beginning of the relationship everything is always romantic and bright. And then everyday life begins, which are not so colorful: flowers are given only on holiday, going to theater and cinema are replaced by gatherings at the TV, household problems begin. The load of mutual disagreements and difficulties presses a couple. During this period, a woman often thinks that love has left the relationship. In fact, feelings have not disappeared, just a standard family life has begun. The more lived together, the more difficult it is to maintain the ease of feelings in relation to each other.
• The reason for the cooling of your love for your husband may be your own laziness. Considering that your husband will not go anywhere, you stopped trying for him, somehow surprise and try to like it. And the less we invest in another person, the less we value them.
• Depressive state and indifferent attitude To everything can also cause thoughts that there is no love. Take the tests to determine the depression, consult a psychologist. Timely detection of the problem is the key to successful getting rid of it.

How not to get confused in such complex feelings? Ask yourself a few questions that will help you understand whether you love your husband or really not:

• Do you imagine yourself happy with him in other circumstances: in a new apartment, with a big income, if there is a housekeeper?
• Are there any qualities in your spouse that you do not accept in men: rudeness, ignorance, sloppiness, rudeness?
• If the initiative to part came from your husband, what feelings would this cause you: joy, pain, anger, sadness?
• What will you do if you had a chance to arrange your life in the most favorable way for you, but your half will feel unlucky?
• Imagine your life without a husband. Will your life really get better?

Honest answers to these questions will help you understand yourself and in your attitude to your spouse. Only thorough introspection will determine how to continue.

To leave or stay: what to do if you realized that you were loving loving your husband?

Do not make hasty decisions. Try to wait out this period of internal contradictions. Perhaps your "dislike" to the spouse will grow into a gentle and warm friendship. An equally strong union is built on the relationship between friendship and support than on emotions and passions.

Before you decide on a divorce, you need to consider all the consequences of such a decision:

• Unknown future. Is there a guarantee that you will find a man better than your spouse, and you will be happy with him. Each person has its own shortcomings. A new husband will not be an exception. And you will have to get used to other people's habits again.
• The likelihood that new feelings will also pass over time. What then? Will you plunge again in the search for new passion? Love often develops into tender affection and friendship. If you and your husband have a warm relationship, maybe you should not destroy such proximity?
• Raising a child in an incomplete family. Think about how your decision will affect the psychological state of the baby. Whether you can create comfortable conditions for its development and provide everything necessary.
• Refusal of comfort, material and psychological. Think about what you lose after the divorce. Are you ready to live without it.

Make sure for sure that love for her husband really passed. That your feelings are now not caused by your fatigue, temporal difficulties or inattention.

Destroying relationships is much easier than building. Are you ready to refuse what you built for years? Will your strength and excerpts be enough for this? Will you regret your destroyed family in a few years?

How to return love for her husband?

When there are doubts about her own feelings in the woman’s heart, and the thought of divorce does not cause joyful emotions, this means that love for her husband did not completely fade away and you just need to overcome the crisis.

If you feel that you were loving loving your husband, but decided to save your family, work on your feelings for your husband. Try to wake up in yourself the former love for him:

• Be sincere with your half. Do not be afraid to discuss the problem. Admit to your husband that your feelings have cooled a little, but he is still dear to you. Perhaps after that he will be afraid to lose you and will show more attention. Talk heart to heart more often, share everything that happens in your life. Soul conversations will help to find new qualities in her husband.
• Remember, what feelings did your spouse cause at the beginning of the relationship. Why did you love him? Most likely, these qualities remained in it now. Try to pay your attention more often on its virtues.
• Think about the fact that at one time you got married by love, and then something began to not arrange you in a relationship and annoy. Determine what exactly. And think about how to change the situation in order to maximize the factors annoying you.

• Make a list What you have achieved with your spouse during your marriage. Drop in the direction of resentment and small disagreements. Write on paper all the good things that happened in your life thanks to your husband: children, home, travel. Remember all the pleasant events that have happened to you over the years.
• Think about how marriage influenced your formation as a person. Maybe your husband helped you find a job, influenced the choice of a profession, introduced you to new hobbies, revealed your feminine, invested money in your education or appearance. Remember only the positive things that the spouse did for you. Why can you say thank you? Learn to show gratitude.
• Discuss with your partner what prevents your relationship from developing. Try to listen to each other without mutual reproaches and grievances. What prevents overcoming the crisis in your family? Together, what new can be brought into marriage?
• Stop comparing your partner with other men. There will always be those who are richer, more beautiful, more successful. Better try to inspire your husband for new achievements: open a business, get a second education, start traveling. And in every possible way help him in this field.
• Remember when your spouse began to annoy you? Maybe the qualities that irritate you so much in it appeared due to a lack of your attention and affection? Men always suffer from a lack of love, because of this their character spoils. Find the strength in yourself and try to become more tender to your husband, take him as he is. The spouse will answer you the same and make you happier.
• Do not try to remake your husband. Changes must be started. Understand in your soul, find yourself a lesson, hobby. Something that can distract you from painful thoughts and break the routine’s life. It is possible that when you see your successes, the husband will also begin to change for the better.
• If passion has disappeared from sexual life, try to revive it yourself: Use lace underwear, aromatic candles. Realize that you are not doing this for your spouse, but for yourself. Think, first of all, about your own pleasure. And invite your husband to share a pleasant sensation with you.

• Look for the point of contact with your half: Listen to music together, read the books aloud, walk in the park. Joint classes bring her husband and wife closer closer, allow them to better understand each other. Find joint hobbies and common goals. This will unite you with your husband. Your life will be enriched with new events, knowledge, victories.

What to do if you dislike your husband, and the decision to leave the final one?

In cases where it is not possible to restore relations, and the very thought of further life together with your husband is unbearable for you - go away. Do not torment either yourself or a man. You have the right to change your life for the better. And give your spouse the opportunity to find a woman with whom he will be happy.

Do nothing under the pressure of relatives or out of fear that friends and relatives will condemn you. Only you are responsible for your life. And they must create their own fate themselves.

• Do not blame and do not reproach yourself for loving your spouse. You are a living person who can not always control his emotions. Psychologists of the extinction of feelings are considered as a natural process. Therefore, do not consider yourself an ungrateful or bad person.
• In this situation, it is extremely important not to lose human qualities and own dignity.

In the case when you decided to divorce husband, make parting less painful for both:

• Do not give a spouse of false hopes if they are firm in his decision.
• Take care in advance about the new place of residence. You may have to move to relatives or rent housing.
• Discuss with your spouse the section of joint property. It is better to draw up an agreement notarized in order to avoid misunderstandings.
• Say the conditions for meetings with the child with whom he will live, whether the husband will help financially.
• Tell your husband that you respect him and are grateful for everything that he did for you. Offer to remain friends. However, do not count on his understanding much. As a rule, a man feels anger and resentment when he finds out about his wife’s care because her dislike.

We wish you harmonious relations, as well as success in overcoming crises and making the right decisions!

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