How to strengthen relations with a loved one and make them interesting: 25 tips from psychologists

It would seem - what is simpler: feelings flashed and continue all their lives. But, alas, it does not happen.

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If you do not maintain feelings, do not work on relationships, letting them out, as they say, on a groove, then the flashed passion fades quite quickly. And this means that the relationship that develops between a man and a woman is a difficult and requiring mental effort.

How to strengthen relations with a loved one and make them interesting: 25 tips

It is logical, demanding attention from a partner, not to forget to show this very attention. It is no less logical to build a relationship so that they arrange not only you, but also your partner. How to do this, how to strengthen relationships, not to cool down to feelings and delight each other every day? Our tips will help you with this.

You need to love yourself and show constant care of yourself

Often you can hear from a woman (and sometimes from a man) that she comes across partners who do not value and do not respect her. First of all, after the second, third such case, you need to think about your own self -esteem - is it sufficient? After all, people evaluate us in most cases exactly as we ourselves treat ourselves.
If a woman is constantly in the process self -abasement, can she wait for admiration for a man and is she representing an interest as a person for someone who, by her measure, could suit her? Hardly. A man perfectly feels such moments and gives you the level of relations that you are initially set by yourself.
What needs to be done? Find all the positivewhich is only possible. Seeing how much advantages you possess, you simply must treat yourself with sincere sympathy. It is simply necessary to perceive yourself as you are, because each person is individual and unique, and uniqueness deserves respect.
Love yourself and your uniqueness, take care of yourself, pamper - Then you will receive additional positive emotions that you can share with a partner, attracting him as a person.

You cannot sacrifice personal interests

Giving your favorite part of the time, the other part is simply necessary to carry out your own interests. If you have outlined a meeting with friends, do not sacrifice her to rush to the partner if he suddenly spontaneously wanted to meet. Planned campaign in spa salon, dancing or yoga Also, first of all, in your interests, and abandon them in order to indulge the whims of a beloved, the last thing.
If you fulfill his desires contrary to your plans, you will lose independence very quickly and yourself will not notice how you will be subordinate. You will have to coordinate your actions, report on them, ask permission. Usually, a man does not really appreciate such “voluntary slavery”, and such status, as a rule, harms relations.
But a certain “autonomy” not only contributes to maintaining their own self -esteem, but also favorably affects the relationship between partners in which everyone is considered with the interests of another.

It is necessary to devote time to the partner

This is the second side of the coin: without infringing on their own interests, spend enough time with your partner. After all, if you do not show attention and care for him, your relationship will simply not be able to develop. Therefore, walks are needed together, and joint trips to the cinema, theaters, night clubs, gifts, even for the most insignificant occasion.
Make each other surprisesAssign romantic dates somewhere in a cozy cafe or spend a quiet home evening together. If you balance your time so that it is enough for yourself and on you two (and this is not so difficult, if you really love your partner), then your feelings will have constant recharge.

You need to correctly evaluate your feelings

Choose time for a comprehensive analysis of his attitude to the partner. Consider in detail all aspects of your relationship: spiritual, emotional, physical, business. Often women are ready to compromise, even if their own interests suffer at the same time, but such a line of behavior will not lead to success if there are no harmony between partners in all sides of the relationship.
Sexual compatibility without the presence of intellectual compatibility will not mean so much for one of the parties, because sooner or later you will want communication. The complete coincidence of the levels of intellectual development of partners without high-quality intimacy is also not for long, because someone from the couple will not receive physical satisfaction.
If the partner suits both in terms of “talking”, and in the physiological aspect, but does not respond to manifestations of tenderness and does not show it, does not speak of his love, does not give flowers, then this means that very soon you are emotionally in terms of emotionally It will become uncomfortable. All these components must be analyzed, making sure that they are present. If not, perhaps it is worth retreating? This is clearly not your second half.

You can not strive to please everything

Adapting to the partner to the detriment of his own desires and trying to fulfill any of his whims, it is far from always possible to get a response desire in return. Unfortunately, most often your behavior will serve you a bad service - you will simply be used.
In relations with a partner, it is necessary healthy balance between certain egoism and complete dedication. If you see that he is as willing to please you with the same readiness, then your desire to meet him will be fully justified and natural. If you please only you, you should think and, returning to the previous point, analyze whether your relationship is equal.

No need to try to change your partner

Many relationships and marriages broke up precisely because one of the parties at the initial stage of the relationship, although he sees some moments that do not suit her, but naively thinks: "I can influence, change". This can concern anything: some flaws in appearance, habits, addictions.
And to change a person, as practice shows, if not impossible, then very, very problematic. And if something in your partner does not suit you categorically-do not even dream that the relationship will develop.
If the problem is in some little things-just do not pay attention to it, because in all other respects there are no problems! A person must be taken as he is-this dogma is known to everyone, but for some reason not everyone does in life that way.

Leave jealousy and suspicion

Another common mistake is constant suspicions of infidelity, scenes of jealousy, which are already disgusting on their own. Not a single person will perceive such behavior as love, on the contrary, an internal protest will very soon arise, and relations will only collapse. If you are jealous by nature - remember that it is impossible to maintain relationships and keep a loved one nearby.
There is only one way out - replace jealousy with self -confidence. Remind yourself that you are a treasure that your half is afraid of losing. Do not pursue a partner - so you only humiliate yourself in his eyes. Be self -sufficient and sincerely interested in your second half. Such a person is really not changed.

Efforts should be equal

And not just equal, but maximum, that is, one hundred percent. No one will argue with the fact that relations require efforts, and their maintenance at the necessary level that arranges both sides is doubled efforts.
And if you lay out to the maximum, trying to diversify and strengthen your union, and your partner does not make any efforts to do this, then you should not wait for the result - partnership will not work.
Therefore, if you feel that the return of mental strength is unequal and in your relationship there is a certain unbalance, it is necessary to discuss this problem in a calm and friendly environment.

Do not try to hide from problems

Constant stress in relationships and conflicts - this is bad. But no less bad is the intentional departure of problems in relationships. If you turn a blind eye to arising pitfalls and avoid attempts to find a solution, so as not to arrange a clarification of relationships, you will only contribute to the fact that the problems will accumulate, gathering everything in a larger and larger snowball. The more misunderstandings and unresolved issues in this ball, the more difficult it will be to unwind it.
Therefore, any problem, both in relationships and in other aspects, must be opened and sought for solutions. This must be done together so that your union is a tandem, and not with an ordinary bicycle, on which one is lucky, and the second settled on the trunk by a passenger. In addition, having expressed the problem, you thereby free yourself from its cargo in your soul, and it will become much easier to solve it.

Express your gratitude and understanding

If you have different points of view on the situation, take the understanding of the position of your partner, because people are different, like their view of the problem. Therefore, be sure to understand him that his position also has the right to exist, and together proceed to find a solution.
Carefully listen to arguments and discuss them without teachings, ridicule and indignation. And be sure to thank the partner for everything: work performed at home, brought flowers or gift, invitation to dinner, etc. Such gratitude not only stimulates the desire to continue to act in the same spirit, but also causes response.

Live in reality mode

If you think about strong serious relationships, then you need to understand that the period of romantic love is transient. Behind him comes the time when reality begins: you will face a variety of situations that will not always be pleasant. You will find conflicts and quarrels, problems that need to be overcome. All this is a strong relationship that you need to think about from the very beginning.
Such an understanding is a real attitude to your choice. And in order for the union to become truly strong and desirable for both, you need to realize such moments from the very beginning, when you are only making a choice.
And then - to remind yourself that you made this choice yourself, and now it is important to do everything so that accidental emotions or broken illusions do not allow to break off relationships.

You need to show respect

Strong relationships are built primarily on precisely on respect for each other - Not on love, oddly enough, and not for a common goal or calculation. Without respect, it is impossible to strengthen relationships, much more to diversify - because for a person whom you do not respect, you will not try. As partnerships develop, quarrels, mutual insults are possible, sometimes even hostility. And only respect for both the partner and to himself can resist this.
Self -esteem is necessary no less. Respecting yourself, you will not “put pressure” on your soul mate, you will respect her opinion, choice, actions. This is what will become the basis of a strong union.

Changes are inevitable

It is important to understand that all people change over time, just as tastes, preferences, hobbies change. And so that such changes do not become unexpected for you - just carefully observe both yourself and your second half, because both of you are changing.
Then you will constantly notice all the slightest nuances of what and how is happening in your relationship, and in time you can regulate your behavior and perception.

You need to be able to quarrel correctly

Psychologists note several signs characteristic of a possible subsequent breakdown. These are critical remarks about personal qualities (for example, instead of saying “you committed a stupid act”, the partner calls his second half), the desire to shift his guilt, the transition to direct insults and, as a result, complete ignoring.

Therefore, if the quarrel is brewing, the following rules should be recalled:

No need to recall the quarrels that have already happened in your life together - this will even more encourage the situation.
If you feel that the intensity of passions is higher, stop scandaling. Cool down, stay alone. Only after that return to the subject of the conversation.
The main thing in the conflict is not to forget about the rules of mutual respect and carefully listen to the partner.
An attempt to avoid a quarrel is not always successful. Therefore, it is better to express everything that has been caught, trying to do this as correctly as possible.

Remember the need for forgiveness

To be able to forgive another is a whole art, and one who wants to strengthen relations with a loved one and make them interesting should take control of this art to the fullest.

It is important to quarrel correctly and forgive

For this you need:

Do not remember the ended conflict. Let him remain closed once and for all.
Do not determine the winner and defeated.
Do not confuse the result of an error made by a partner with intentions. Perhaps he was really just mistaken, and did not want to hurt you at all.

Relations consist of little things

A compliment in the morning, a kiss before going to work, flowers without any reason, tickets to the cinema for two - from such and many other little things, the perception of your relationship is formed.

If after a few years of living together all this continues to be characteristic of your couple, it means that you can only congratulate you. No less important is regular physical intimacy, which affects the relationship only in the best way and often helps to smooth out quarrels.
Do not sacrifice your partnerships even for the sake of children. Then your family will be truly happy, and the children in it will be the same.

Become a pragmatist

Bring an element of pragmatism, for example, in distribution of family responsibilities. Pragmatism is to determine what is most acceptable for each of you. If a man is calm about washing dishes, but hates ironing - so let him wash the dishes. And you pick up the iron. Do the same with cooking: one is responsible for meat dishes, the other for sweet ones.
In questions finance The main rule is to agree on everything in advance. What amount to postpone for? What is the limit of possible debts and loans? Can you spend money at your discretion, without agreeing with a partner, and what amount? What purchases are possible only together? Such an approach helps to clearly understand what is necessary for each of the partners, and helps to strengthen relations.

Learn to hear no "no"

There are times when your partner clearly and definitely does not agree with anything. Do not try to do in your own way if you really think about strengthening relationships.
It is better to calmly find out what exactly does not suit your half, and try to find another option for solving the issue together.

Leave attempts to trick and not speak

Avoid in a relationship tricks and tricks. You can often hear: "Smell and do as you think it is necessary." This advice is not suitable for relations that they want to make truly strong and interesting, on the contrary, this principle only harms them. First of all, it is necessary to openly talk and understand what is the reason for the reluctance of your partner to do just that. Perhaps you will agree with him, if not, it is better to change your position.
Just openly and directly you need to talk about everything. If you are offended by something in the words or behavior of a partner, then do not expect that he himself will guess about it. It is best to explain it to him.

Attract the third side deliberately

Often, during the conflict, support is looking for support on the side, attracting friends, relatives or even splating out emotions on social networks to the aid. Yes, perhaps you will express the words of support, but the decision of the dispute is to take only to you, and it is unlikely that outsiders, not devoted to all the nuances of the conflict, and knowing it only from your words, will be able to give the right advice. In addition, after your reconciliation, those who supported one side can become unpleasant for the other. And then you will have to "maneuver" between them.
In a situation where the conflict comes into a dead end, it is better to consult psychologist. If the contradictions begin to switch to the level of violence, both psychological and physical, it is necessary to attract police, relevant services, social centers.

The psychologist will establish your relationship

Do not confuse life with love novels

No need to try to build relationships as this happens in your favorite novel or film. There, as a rule, they were invented by the author, for whom the main thing is the plot, intrigue, a happy final, in a word everything so that the work is admired and sold well.
In life, an idyll is impossible, but their own, unique, unique relations are possible. Conserving your pair to the standards, you can destroy what is acceptable only for you, and not to create anything new in this place.

Do not remember past hobbies

Jealousy In relation to his former partner, it does not add attractiveness to you. If you will arrange interrogations about who such a spectacular blonde, like his photos on social networks, will only push him away with such behavior, and certainly do not strengthen your relationship.
The same applies to its own former. Comparisons with another, especially not in favor of a real partner, have not made anyone better. And if you repeat to him that your former always helped you clean the apartment, it is likely that you will soon hear in response: “So go to your ex!”. So that leave the past in the past and live the current one.

Do not forget to say that you love

No need to think that having said once “love” once, you should not repeat it again and again. If you want to strengthen relations with your loved one and make them interesting, remind him of this at every right case.
This attitude is always valued, and, delivering pleasant minutes to your partner, you thereby make your union stronger.

Turn on the sense of humor

A person who has a sense of humor is doubly attractive.

In addition, with the help of humor, any relationship is easier, not only love. Therefore, use the maximum of opportunities to laugh your loved one: jokes, a good word, a well -aimed nickname, a joint viewing of comedies or humorous programs ...
And in solving the problems, do not forget about the sense of humor - it will help you not to convert the dispute into a scandal by extinguishing the conflict in time with the help of laughter.

Organize a joint rest

And such a vacation does not have to be a vacation at all. At any time, you can organize a lazy Sunday, when, having settled all household chores, settle down next to the sofa and watch several films interesting for both. Go for the weekend to the forest or to the river and stay there together.
Cut a couple of hours in the evening to just wander around the autumn park, collecting red-yellow maple leaves and looking in a cafe to drink a cup of coffee. This will introduce both spiritual unity and romance, and thereby further strengthen relations in the family, with her husband, guy.

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