Support is good, but it is not always advisable. In our article we will tell you when it is worth supporting a man and how to do it.
Content
It is very good if you are ready to support a man in difficult situations. The willingness to help each other is an important condition for the existence of all relations. That's just one thing when you are just ready for this, and another is an understanding of how to do it.
How to support a loved one: position, behaviors
If your beloved has problems, then it would be worth supporting him. You will also expect a reward after the man becomes calm, it will open to you. You must support him not only to calm him down, but for a better life with your beloved. Moreover, this will affect your relationship very well. We recommend that you follow the tips that we will talk about later. Use only those tips that you consider appropriate in a particular case. You might think that you are doing something useless, but it can be useful in the future.
- Follow the right position
When you solve family problems, a lot depends on your position. People are complex creatures that have a lot of emotions and views. It is very important that you understand how exactly you feel about everything.
- First of all, do not lose self -control. The process is similar to the American slides that are full of hopes, fears, struggle, falls and ups. Just becoming a fellow traveler is not a way out. Especially if your family is just as chaotic. Often there is a desire to force a partner to stop hysteria, even despite his internal needs. But this is not the best idea.
- Always speak clearly. Another frequent image is self -sacrifice. A person can endure everything that is happening for a long time and not ask anything in return. Only from this behavior both be subject to both. Attempts to behave heroically can make the spouse do the same or vice versa, he will relax and entrust everything to you. Therefore, you should make a relationship more understandable.
- You must take care of not only others, but also about yourself. You yourself must decide how to deal with this. Awareness helps well - what, when and how to do it? For example, you are tired at work and caught a cold. Of course, you need a vacation, and then a husband comes and says that he urgently needs to chat with you. And now you have to make a choice-to talk or rest.
- It is best to say in such a situation that you should have a rest, and you will definitely help him, but not right now. It is useful for both of you to set such boundaries. He must understand that support will not be very large, that you yourself will regret it. In addition, you must believe that a man himself can solve problems. If you always do everything for him, then he will disappear, and having determined the boundaries you make it clear that you believe in him.
- Be kinder. In our life, kindness is not very much, but it is very important. And the family is a good attitude towards oneself and the husband plays a very important role. In order to understand exactly what kindness means, you need to understand that it is not. This concerns to be glorious. Under this it is assumed that a person is trying to simply support the world and smooth out the corners. But kindness strives for the better.
- Yes, good deeds can help maintain a calm atmosphere in the house, and they will be made with love. Kindness affects the relationship the most, because it is able to accept a person with all his vices. No, all actions do not need to be approved, but kindness does not give a person the right to poor behavior. Despite what is happening with your husband, you must accept it anyway. You would also treat yourself.
How to properly support a man in a difficult situation?
Undoubtedly, all your efforts do not always lead to the desired result. However, if you decide to support a man, then there are several ways to do it.
Be next to him
Show care. Your interest allows a person to understand that you do not care and that you are ready to go through all the trials with him. This will allow you to understand what you can wait. As a rule, at such moments, the partner does not behave very usually and this can affect your relationship.
You can grow personally and yourself, because the spouse will use different points of view, technology and strategies. Some are suitable only for him, and some will be useful to everyone. The more you learn about your loved one, the more you learn to yourself.
Thus, you seem to invest in your future. Yes, the changes are endless, but at some time they occur especially actively. After this phase, peaceful quiet time occurs and life becomes normal and stable. If you go with your loved one on a trip, you will notice how your relationship is getting stronger.
Notice and encourage all good
Each professional athlete loves an understanding fan who understands the rules well and knows when to rejoice, and when - no. Creative people also like applause.
When we try to support a man, for us it is like a sip of cold water. The partner has a complex and painful business, about which he himself knows little, but sometimes he wants to take a little on himself, and this is impossible. However, you can stay nearby and understand what exactly he has to worry. And you must perceive his victories as a holiday.
Support him in relations with friends
Everyone needs support for people. Sometimes we enter into a relationship only to satisfy our needs, and friends are lost. Most are afraid that the partner will not be glad that he was wasting time on friends. Do not limit this communication, because it is always important.
You should not forbid how to communicate the second half with friends close in spirit! You can help him with this. Do not forget that men and women build relationships with friends in different ways and he will not behave like you.
Note that we are talking about same -sex friendship. After all, you must admit that it would be dishonest and not very good to pretend that you are glad to relationships that you consider harmful. Friends should be mature and adequate, and also evaluate what is happening well.
Do not forget about yourself
Yes, your couple consists of two people, so you should not put someone above yourself. Yes, the care and support of a man is important, but you should not forget to forget either. What is good alone, then the second to your liking, and at best both will be satisfied.
- You can take care of health. For example, eat correctly, do fitness and so on
- Do not forget about your friends, because they are not only with your husband. Communication is always important, and you yourself may need support
- Go to group therapy. May it seem ridiculous to you, but, believe me, it helps
- Go to the psychologist. This will solve problems with a professional and he will only listen to you
Say the words of support
Relations can be good, but at the same time they are confused and complex if one of the couple is experiencing big changes. There is no way to make everything perfect. You can go away if you try to do everything as it should. Perhaps good emotions will be interrupted with bad ones. Try to find good in everything and do not try to succumb to the spleen. This is the best that allows support and strengthen relationships.
How should you not support a man?
- Do not help financially
Even if your faithful speaks of problems with money, you do not have to try to solve problems for it. As a rule, such behavior destroys relationships simply because often one problem follows another and so on and a woman becomes something like a pump.
- Do not give expensive gifts
Don't even think! It is better to bestow it with warmth and tenderness.
- Stop sorry for him
It often seems to women that constantly listening to the suffering of a loved one, they become closer to him. Yes, this really works, but not with men. You will be something like a “patch”, which after use is thrown away.
This is due to the fact that pity humiliates a man and he does not want to remind himself of this. Better leave it for a short while. He will definitely solve all the problems. It is worth believing in your man, instead of pitying him.
Undoubtedly, do not refuse to listen to him. You must support calm and questions, but do not advise anything. Ask from the position of the girl. Let the question be stupid, he will answer him anyway. He will understand that you do not care, and he will also feel his strength, because asking questions from the lower position of his will, strength and intelligence wake up.
For example:
- I don’t even understand how such a problem can be solved, but how do you think?
- Do you think you can somehow solve this problem?
- And what to do in such a situation?
If you behave this way, you will show the man that you believe in him and he will certainly find a solution. Each man is important for life difficulties, lessons and problems. Without this, he will not be able to assert himself like a man.
- Do not give advice
As a rule, men do not ask for advice on what to do. So you leave your opinion to you. If you were still asked, then speak out carefully, because the responsibility should still remain with the man.
- Do not make him spiritual injections
Often women advise reading books, going to seminars. If you do this, then you can only earn trouble. The man himself will be interested if your lifestyle shows him the result of your views.