If you are a very jealous person, let's figure out how to deal with it.
Jealousy within reasonable limits is quite normal and “healthy”, because we all want our loved one to be only ours and, of course, afraid to lose him. But what to do when jealousy is present in all areas of life, when it spoils the relationship between partners and destroys their lives?
How to get rid of a sense of jealousy?
In fact, everything is quite simple, you only need a little time to understand yourself and, of course, a desire to do it.
- Stop playing spy games. Often, jealousy is manifested by various espionage games, such as reading SMS on the phone, tracking calls, correspondence on social networks, real surveillance, familiar calls, in order to make sure that the lover is with them, and does not walk somewhere with his mistress. Sooner or later, such behavior will make your brain believe in treason even if it does not, since you will be tuned for this every day. Forbid yourself even to think about checks, do not look for a catch. Remember that such things will not positively affect your relationship, moreover, sooner or later they will lead to their completion. Therefore, when once again your hand reaches out to the phone in order to see the incoming or outgoing SMS, you carefully hit it with your other hand and switch your attention to something else, for example, go prepare a delicious dinner to your husband.
- Allow yourself to allow the reality of your fears. As a rule, even when a woman is jealous of her man, in fact, she is even afraid to allow the thought that he really cheats on her. This is because the woman is scared by the unknown what will happen to her and her life further. Try to allow the possibility of developing the worst script, while thinking about exactly how everything will happen. Let your brain understand that life will not end even if your beloved leaves you. Yes, it will be difficult for you, especially the first time, but gradually you will come to your senses, you will have new acquaintances, most likely a new man, life will continue further. Or maybe you will stay with your man. This technique seems strange, but in fact it is effective.
- Engage in yourself, stop "looking" for your man of women better than you. Yes Yes exactly. Many women constantly evaluate their potential rivals-that hair is longer and painted in his favorite red color, the figure of an 18-year-old girl, etc. You do not need to compare yourself with other women and seek out dignity in their behavior, appearance, appearance, appearance Thus, hesitantly underestimating his self -esteem. Your man loves you as you are, because you must probably know what they love for your appearance. Well, if you want to reinforce such arguments with business, take up the improvement of yourself - body, mind, spiritual state.
- Instead of scandals, reproaches and distrust, show love, care and affection for the partner. Even when you are unbearably jealous and in your head you already have a whole list of questions for your lover, stop and instead hug, kiss, please him with something. Constant swearing and leading questions about possible treason will only worsen your relationship, you will thereby push a man to make a bad deed with your own hands.
- Apply imagination correctly. The man lingers at work for half an hour - as if with his mistress, he said that he would go with an overnight stay with his parents/fishing - he would definitely spend time with his mistress, etc. You cannot unequivocally exclude this option for the development of the situation, but you cannot say it to it, you cannot say it, Therefore, do not give your imagination to work against you. Calm down, exhale, take care that you love and only after that proceed to some kind of action. For example, make your beloved a surprise and meet him at work, so you find out if he is there and only if your fears are justified, begin to sort things out. So you will save your nerves and prevent the next scandal.
- Pay less time to the person of the lover. Very often, those women who completely give themselves to their partner are jealous. Remember that you are a person, you have interests, hobbies, acquaintances and relatives. Work on self -development, in general, make you have less time and effort on all nonsense in your head like jealousy. Thus, you and the man’s interest in your person call, and stop poking him with your jealousy.
- Do not chop off your shoulder. You decided to meet a guy/husband from work, but saw how he talks cutely there with some beauty, and you are immediately running to them to find out what the right to stand next to your beloved has this dubious lady. The mood is spoiled by everyone, a man is ashamed of you and a bunch of other no less unpleasant consequences, and the dubious lady turned out to be a colleague of your partner or a longtime acquaintance that he accidentally met. Often it happens that way. Therefore, instead of inadequate behavior, immediately take yourself together, exhale and calmly find out the situation. Do the opposite: want to run to them - go calmly, want to start tantrum - politely say hello to people and imagine. It may not have to find out everything, perhaps the woman herself will introduce you and will convince you that she is not “dangerous” for you and your family.
- Remember that your man/guy is not your thing. He has the right to personal space, his friends, his hobby, work, etc. You have no moral right to deprive him of all this only because you are a jealous person. Your jealousy is not the problem of your companion. Let him live a calm life, gladly returning to your home and not think that now you are about to arrange another scandal because of a female hair accidentally adhering to his costume. As mentioned earlier, remember that you are a person, take care of something pleasant for you in your free time. The husband is fishing, and you and friends in the cinema/club/theater. You don't go there to change there? Then why do you think that your man is going there for such a purpose?
- Do not forget about honesty, openness and trust. Why play some games, if you can simply talk to a partner. If you do this in a calm atmosphere, adequately, that is, all the chances of finding out the truth, whatever it is. For the sake of this, you arrange tantrums and ask a bunch of provocative questions to your man? But do not forget that since you ask such questions, you are jealous of a man, be ready to hear an unpleasant answer, because everything can be.
- Often women are jealous of their halves To their former, if you are one of them, then this advice is for you. Remember who your man lives with with now? That's right, with you, and this only indicates that he needs you, important, like it, etc. More than his previous woman. Again, work on your self -esteem, because, most likely, there is a reason in your low self -esteem, and not in his attitude to the former. Another point is when your companion has children with the former. Yes, in this case he will always be connected with her, and you better not try to interfere with their communication, since his children will be most important to him, and you will make him make a choice not in their favor, but not a single normal man for such Will not go. Another option is to put yourself in its place. You would most likely also communicate with the children who were in the interests of the children.
- Sometimes women are jealous of their former men. Here I must say that this is a completely stupid activity, since the object of jealousy, in principle, is no longer your love. What can be done? Switch your attention to another man, if so far you do not want a new relationship, plunge into work. Cabinettherapy, as a rule, is an effective medicine. Stop following his life. Do not go near his house in the hope of “accidentally” to meet, do not track his news feed and do not wait for new photos. In no case do not start correspondence with him with a fake account, so you can never let him go.
- No matter how strange it sounds, but Sometimes girls are jealous of their lovers to work. Yes, yes, to work. In this case, you just need to calm down and explain to yourself that your man works so much, for a long time, for wear, not only because he really wants, like it, you will spite, etc., but because he wants to provide you with a comfortable And a happy life. If your man really devotes a lot of time to work, try to correctly explain to him that you lack his attention, love, etc. Look for a compromise, for example, agree that every Sunday regardless of circumstances, you spend all day together, but at the same time On the rest of the days you do not saw him about the insufficiency of attention to your person.
- All of the above tips relate to those cases when it is actually about causeless jealousy, that is, one that is not justified and the whole thing is only a jealous of fantasy. If the grounds are really jealous of, it is worthwhile to openly talk to the chosen one, perhaps cheat a little and say that you know everything and ask to explain the current situation. However, you need to understand that this can and should be done only if you have really undeniable evidence of betrayal and you want and are ready to hear the truth. What to do after a frank conversation in case you find yourself right, yours, but in any case, you should not chop in a burn, you can make a lot of irreparable mistakes.
- If you know for sure that your chosen one is cheating on you, and even more so you know what he does regularly, then jealousy here is completely useless. Continuing to live with such a person, you automatically agree to be in this position and, in principle, show him that it suits you, so there is already all the responsibility only on you. A way out of the situation may be: either you part, or you stay with a changer and agree to constantly be devoted to him, since a person who has changed many times is unlikely to stop.
- If we are talking about pathological jealousy, Then you can’t do without the help of a professional psychologist, and possibly a psychotherapist, because in this case simple conversations will not help. A pathological jealous man constantly suspects a partner of treason, and it can cause a sense of jealousy-can be brightly painted, often my head, began to dress differently, went to the gym, bought a new perfume, etc. Such jealousy can be compared with the disease that needs to be necessary To treat, since “complications” may appear in the form of the appearance of mental disorders, etc.
It must be understood that jealousy within reasonable limits carries nothing terrible for a relationship, on the contrary, sometimes it only “fuels” them, makes it clear to one of the partners that the second loves him and is not indifferent to him. However, as you know, it is good that in moderation, therefore, when the manifestation of jealousy crosses all the boundaries, and the topic of treason is always on the agenda, you need to resolve the current situation as quickly as possible. Using our advice, you can overcome this destructive feeling in yourself and thereby maintain your relationship, your family and love.
Video: How to deal with jealousy?
