What does perfectionism mean in simple words: pros and cons, causes. Perfectionism with neurosis - how is it manifested? How to get rid of a sense of perfectionism: tips, treatment

In this article, we will talk, which is perfectionism, how to recognize it, what features it has and how to get rid of it.

Perfectionism is a conviction that everyone should strive for perfection. Often for perfectionism, the orderliness of thinking is accepted. However, it is not. True perfectionism is destructive. Let's figure out what it is and what features have.

What is perfectionism in simple words?

Perfectionism means the desire for excellence. Accordingly, such a person strives for ideals, and he believes in their existence, which means they can be achieved. The treatment of perfectionism may not be required in this case, but not in a pathological situation. In the latter case, a person believes that only ideal people and things can live in this world.

In some ways, perfectionism is even good. It makes you strive for heights and engage in its own development, work on it and constantly hone skills. However, nothing is perfect in this life and it becomes bad from this perfectionists. They have to inactive or do their principles because of fear not to become perfect.

Perfectionism - pros and cons: advantages and disadvantages

Before you understand the question of whether it is necessary to treat perfectionism, it is important to figure out what advantages and disadvantages it has.

The positive aspects of this phenomenon are expressed in the following qualities:

• Hard work
• Self -criticism
• Exactingness to yourself
• Constant training in something new and development
• Pursuit of personal growth
• Improving skills in work. They try to bring them to perfection
• Efforts to achieve recognition, respect and glory
• Achieving significant life heights

Despite the fact that the advantages are quite significant, there are shortcomings in perfectionism:

• Such a person is too demanding on himself
• Self -criticism may not always be justified
• Often, if it is impossible to achieve the ideal, self -esteem decreases
• Perfectionists do not like when they are criticized. They have too high sensitivity to her
• It is often irritable, nervous, or obsessive states develop in it
• Can be too abstruse or boring
• Are not able to rejoice at the results if they are not perfect
• The inability to set achievable goals, as a rule, are set by those that cannot be achieved

Psychological causes of perfectionism - why is it manifested?

At the moment, psychologists have not yet fully studied how this condition is manifested and how to accurately treat perfectionism. The main idea is that all this has been going on a person from childhood, because he is in the same social environment.

Moreover, this also applies to the methods used in the education. There are a lot of them, but two most acts:

• Creating a guideline without a clear goal

Suppose mother says that she would be such a son as her friend. Of course, the child tries to strive for perfection and earn love, but does not understand at all what is wrong with him - the hairstyle is not the same, character or what? The child’s psyche breaks, because he tries to be the best in everything and every failure is perceived hard.

• Imposing its own value system

Dad tells her daughter that she got an excellent doll, and after a minute mother tells her about crooked bows, the wrong fabric on the dress. The child is upset and tries to please his mother, whose expectations are high. Such parents grow up excellent perfectionists.

You may be surprised, but among modern children and adolescents there are much more perfectionists than past generations. Here, different advertising has a great influence, for example, it is proposed to make a genius from a child or teach him to speak in two years. And so, immediately, as soon as it is recognized that the child is small, he falls in the eyes of his parents. And he needs love. This ultimately leads to the development of destructive perfectionism. And in adulthood, he goes with constant tension, fear of mistaken, an overstated bar and inability to accept criticism.

Perfectionism with neurosis: Features

There is such a term as neurotic perfectionism. When it is manifested, people focus on mistakes and failures, they are worried and ashamed. They are always scared to be a loser, and even if everything happens, they do not experience pleasure from this. Moreover, they are too self -critical. In this case, with this form, many disorders are manifested. It is clear that perfectionism in this case should be treated.

And this is not only for these reasons. The fact is that such a state has an impact on different aspects of human life. He has an unstable emotional state, it is difficult for him to build relationships, and the productivity is somewhat different. Increased anxiety can cause depression, the development of suicidal inclinations, neurosis, shame. Such people are too afraid that they will seem bad to other, fall asleep or disgraced.

By the way, this behavior can contribute to the development of cardiovascular diseases at a young age. A person does not give himself any right to mistake, relying on the fact that he can be condemned. This fear is so strong that it leads to a rejection of the goal or makes its implementation impossible. Psychologists also call this condition “paralysis of activity”. A person simply avoids a situation when the bar is high.

If you find that you have neurotic perfectionism, then try to set achievable goals. For example, do not immediately strive in the bosses, but start with a simple worker.

Perfectionism - what is manifested: signs

In colloquial speech, perfectionism is often called "excellent student syndrome." At the same time, in order to treat perfectionism, you need to understand its signs.

They are as follows:

• Too high requirements for yourself and others. At the same time, a person has significantly overstated expectations
• Constant comparison with other people
• The opinion that people are too demanding and always critical
• Too high attention to your own mistakes
• Thinking by the type of "perfect result or terrible"

To figure out whether you are a perfectionist yourself, answer several questions (do you agree with the statements):

If you agree with most statements, then you are a perfectionist.

Correction of perfectionism in adolescents at school: Features

When the child is constantly criticized, this leads to the emergence of psychological problems. The treatment of perfectionism in adolescents is a fairly important point, because this condition interferes with their studies. The fact is that children set themselves difficult goals and want to do everything perfectly. However, perfection cannot be achieved and therefore there are already thoughts about failure in advance. Accordingly, the child is constantly worried, experiences shame and stress. Often there is still burnout and disorder of food behavior.

Often perfectionism becomes a problem when a child goes, for example, from school to college. For him, the first course may become the most difficult, because learning becomes more difficult, the bar rises. Accordingly, academic performance falls.

In addition, schoolchildren have to face procrastination. That is, they try to do perfectly homework and this presses on them. They put off its implementation because they are afraid to achieve the desired result. And due to procrastination, stress becomes stronger, the child sleeps poorly and is a lot of nervous. Even if he completes the task ahead of schedule, he still spends a lot of time on it and at the same time ignores other tasks.

The consequence of this behavior is depression. The teenager understands that he is not perfect and feels unloved. He thinks that he can never match other people's expectations. At the same time, he tries to be good for everyone to join the team, and this oppresses.

Do not be afraid to talk about your own failures. Explain that it was hard for you too, but this can be with everyone. This will allow you to understand that everyone is mistaken and life cannot live without it. Moreover, parents should look at their expectations. Yes, they can be tall, but realistic. There is no need to expect a lot from the child and compliance with this.

What is manic perfectionism - how is it manifested?

To treat perfectionism when it manifests itself slightly, in principle, there is no sense. However, there is such a thing as manic perfectionism. It develops against the background of psyche disorders. Signs, in principle, do not differ, but they intensify many times. When performing any task, a person feels a threat to himself and a call for self -esteem. When the condition is too developed, it makes a person too vulnerable and depressive. As a result, it requires compliance with too high standards.

The manic perfectionist constantly doubleces all his actions, seeks the approval of people and can think for a very long time before making some decision. If the perfectionist is not sure that he can reach a high standard, then he can refuse to fulfill tasks. He often uses this method to solve complex problems.

How to get rid of a sense of perfectionism?

It is usually not required to treat perfectionism. In any case, this is not a mental disorder. Psychologists give several useful recommendations that will help to overcome the perfectionist:

• Look at the pros and cons of perfectionism. Think of what benefits you from this, but what - no. How does it all affect your life?
• It is important to abandon thinking "all or nothing". It is not always possible to perform tasks 100%. For complex, this is simply impossible. You are a person and have the right to be imperfect or to complete the matter to the end.
• Try to specially do something not perfect. It will be difficult at first, but then it will become easier. Thus, you will educate humility and modesty.
• Look at the full picture, not its individual parts. Do not focus on the little things, otherwise you can might in them.
• Mark your successes and least think about failures.
• When you think that something is worthy, then think about whether you need it. Maybe you just need something because of good advertising or because others have it.
• Learn to prioritize. You cannot complete 20 cases with an equal value. Always choose a few and focus on them.
• Overestimate your values. Think about whether something is true. How valuable it will be for you after a while.
• Consider the worst options. What will be the consequences? Will something terrible happen if you are failing?
• Always focus on the process And the least think about the results. You need to appreciate all the events, even the most unpleasant. This will be an incentive for growth and training for you.
• Recognize restrictions. Learn to appreciate yourself and accept living conditions. Understand that it will not be possible to control the situation, something will not go according to plan anyway.
• Drop all doubts and change them to respect and love for yourself. Know yourself, and do not create an ideal image for the outside world.
• Perfectionism requires a person to experience only specific emotions . You must understand that any emotion can exist And you can not choose what to feel. Perceive them openly and do not judge yourself for it.
• A healthy relationship should be a priority for you. Show everyone the present. This is the best way to bring closer.
• Think about the body, mind and soul. Learn to take care of yourself - your food should be right, you must rest, have fun, lead an active life.
• Do not think too much. Just do it all. If you do nothing, then you will not find out what will happen as a result.
• Your dictionary should not have the words “should”, “should” ... Change them to "I want", I choose. "
• Perfectionism and desire to control everything is associated with children's attempts to cope with anxiety. You are already an adult and not so helpless. You can do more effective things to control anxiety.
• Fear should not determine your behavior. You may be embarrassed, but you still need to act. Errors will be in any case, because they do not determine your value.
• Formulate the main values \u200b\u200band goals. You must properly distribute time, resources and energy. The ideals should be just as guidelines, and not as an absolute truth.

How to cure perfectionism of a psychologist: Therapy

It is quite difficult to treat perfectionism yourself, because for this you need to constantly adhere to the recommendations of a psychologist. However, you will not find any other way. If you turn to a psychologist with your problem, then he, of course, will have other methods of work. First of all, he will conduct psychoanalysis and only then prescribe therapy. As a rule, it is aimed at changing thinking and behavior. Moreover, the specialist will certainly select the methodology of relaxation, because the perfectionist constantly experiences stress.

Than perfectionism is dangerous: consequences

It is important to treat perfectionism, because it can cause not only problems in life, but also lead to some mental disorders. Why is it dangerous? The thing is that while a person is trying to achieve an ideal, he eventually does not enjoy, if it turns out not quite such a result. Ultimately, even successes are disappointed, because it was possible to make even better.

This leads to the appearance of constant emotional discomfort. Accordingly, the perfectionist becomes less productive. He has a feeling of fatigue, anxiety and hopelessness. Since a person has constant stress, for this reason he has headaches, he experiences weakness and chronic diseases can worsen. In difficult cases, a nervous disorder or depression occurs.

Each person who is a perfectionist is too sensitive to criticism. So even he treats the praise carefully. It often happens that a person remains lonely because he makes overstated requirements.

What is the difference between perfectionism and pedantry?

It happens that people think that perfectionism should be treated. However, they may turn out to be pedants. In fact, these two concepts are confused. So, if a person believes that ideal can be achieved and makes efforts for this, then he is a perfectionist. He establishes overstated requirements and constantly criticizes himself. As for pedantry, this is formalism, exactingness and accuracy. A person tries to maintain order even in the smallest details.

In some ways, these concepts are really similar, but at the same time they have many differences. Let's figure them out.

• The pedant is more important in the form, not the content. That is, he believes that you must always follow the rules and strictly observe them. It is vital for him to show accuracy and it always manifests itself, even if someone does not like it. As for the perfectionists, they are just focused on the content. That is, for them the content is much more important than compliance with the rules. That is, they can violate the deadlines. When performing important work, it will be scurpulis and focus on the little things. He tries to avoid criticism and failure that he is not entirely interested in pedant.
• The perfectionist tries to be perfect in large affairs, and the pedant is in small ones. So, the perfectionist needs the book to become a bestseller, and the pedant is enough correctly maintaining documents.
• The perfectionist evaluates the result on external factors, for example, praise. This increases his self -esteem. The pedant, when evaluating, is based on a personal position and internal state.
• The pedant is conservative. If a perfectionist strives forward for high results in order to perceive himself, then it is important for the pedant to maintain order.

Despite such differences, in both cases, people show an increased level of anxiety. Moreover, they are not too flexible, because they always develop special behavior strategies that they always try to follow. However, they are very worried about errors. For both, this is very bad. Both people try to do work flawlessly and they are similar in this. At the same time, they always doubt the correctness of their actions.

Video: How to get rid of perfectionism? What is perfectionism in simple words? What does the perfectionist mean?

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