“The watch is ticking”: reproductive rights, grancies-how to protect yourself from others?

Some people are very skilled to a mesentious proclamation of all kinds of sayings and phraseological units! And they often do it tactlessly and completely out of place.

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Often, even absolutely short people, you can hear “the watch is ticking,” transparently hinting that you are already many years old, and you still have not acquired offspring. And at the same time, they are completely not worried that such a topic can hurt a woman who, perhaps, does not have a husband, and the living conditions are not so very ...

How do they encroach on our reproductive rights?

The tongue without bones, a tactless lady just likes to talk, and what is about-she doesn’t matter. She threw a portion of unpleasant things on you, and went on to catch a new victim. And at the same time, she remained very pleased, how could the seculars talked, and the information (if you had the imprudence to make contact with her) eagerly absorbed in order to quickly convey it to someone else, and recruited by other people's troubles and troubles.
And her recent interlocutor, on the contrary, will feel only from such “friendly support” devastation and bitterness. At least, by the grace of someone else’s, in principle, the mood will be spoiled for the whole day.

When people climb absolutely out of business

There are topics that are appropriate to discuss at a family council with loved ones, and they are not intended for other people's ears. Believe me, usually none of the outsiders and there is nothing to you or your problems. And they will not be able to help you, yes, most likely, they will not want to do this.
And no matter how your intelligent nature opposes this, there are such curious and unceremonious people who violate your reproductive rights, put in place. And it is not at all necessary to do it softly and tactfully. They will take this for manifestation of weakness on your part and will hurt your pride with even greater force.
It is quite allowed rudely and abruptly cut them offAnd you will see how quickly they are retreating, leaving you alone. And even the best tactics - "Beat the enemy" on its own territory.
As if they have a batch of cold water, it will act on an unpleasant person, for example, the following words: “I have heard here recently that your son at school is poorly studying, hooligan. What worked for him so much, because, it seems, was a good boy before? Yes, and mom teaches everyone how to live, but what does the Malta do not pacify? ” And all. Similar words will be enough for the “enemy” to run with shame from the “battlefield”. And then in your soul will remain a sense of victory, and not at all bitterness.

Reproductive rights and phenomenon of grancies

It is precisely such a tactless annoying issues, advice and ranting such as: “Why aren't you giving birth? For a long time, time has come to get the children. So in your years I already had two! If it doesn’t work, go to the doctor ”, etc. from relatives, acquaintances, colleagues and even unfamiliar people and gave a definition - "Grandmother".

This concept that has incorporated two words - grandmother and bullying - means with warm -shaped psychological pressure, even the real injury. This unpleasant social phenomenon seems to press with its oppression on those women who do not have a husband and children, or on married ladies who do not want to have a child yet.
And if you can still fight off from strangers, then it will not be so easy to cope with your relatives. After all, your mom, dad, grandfathers-grandmothers, aunts-people or sisters and brothers, whom you have to meet, is not so easy to answer so that they do their own business and do not go into your life.

It is important to defend your boundaries

And interrupt the avalanche of painfully wounding questions that violate your reproductive rights - “When will you get married, or did you decide to stay the old maid?”; “When do you have children, finally, will you appear? Years go, you will not have time to look back, but it will be too late to give birth. " etc., not so simple.
And when the mother begins to bake, connecting the “forbidden techniques” like her sick heart and the desire to have time to understand the grandchildren before death, then the feeling of guilt will also be added to fierce.
And a simple answer: "I want to live for myself so far" He will not satisfy and will not stop anyone. Half will continue with a vengeance. And even if a woman, having heeded universal persuasion, decides to finally give birth to a child, they will not leave her anyway. Soon, conversations will begin about the “royal couple”, they say: “I gave birth to a daughter, and when is the heir to wait?”

Soon you may be told about the second child and so on

In adults who use grandmother In relation to their daughters and granddaughters, for some reason, there is no thought that The imposed marriage and the forced birth of children can lead to negative consequences.
It is unlikely that a marriage concluded under the pressure of relatives and society will have a happy future. And unwanted motherhood can put under a psychological blow, both a newly -made mother and her baby.

Why do they encroach on our reproductive rights?

Imposed stereotypes

Our society is not yet ready to move away from unwritten laws invented by someone, following which the girl is ordered to enter the university after graduation, get married and give birth to children.
What if she wants to go against the “rules” imposed on and, having received a certificate of general education, take up the search for her calling, instead of racing, headlong, into the university chosen for her parents?
In this case, she will immediately be assigned the status of a lazy person who does not care at all. And if she does not seduce the role of a caring mother up to 30 years old, then her head is not in order with her head-the others will decide.
There is a common opinion that after a thirty -year line, a woman can only bring to a disabled person. Dear women! Do not believe in this non -urban nonsense, because all this - stereotypes who have become obsolete It seems like "he did not serve in the army - it means that he did not become a man."
Official statistics are silent about this, and it is unambiguous to say at what age should be given, and at which one - to refrain from this, at least unethical and illiterate. If professionals do not undertake to give such tips, then you might think that everyone around suddenly became so thin experts in the reproductive business!
Ask a question to the people who “crush” you: "Where do you get the information that an older woman will definitely give birth to a child with pathologies?". And for sure, you will not get any intelligibility from them. Most likely, in response, you will hear common phrases about the fact that this is the opinion of doctors, in the television program they said so, the patient was born, etc.
Another baseless “horror story” that women tell - after 30 infertility most often occurs. Indeed, this was the case for a long time-back in the XVI-XVIII centuries (research was conducted in France during this period of time on the basis of preserved medical reports). But now a completely different time has come!

Now you can give birth to a wonderful child and after 30

Statistics show that 80% of modern women who are 35-40 years old may well become pregnant, without resorting to the services of doctors. And without the consequences for your health to endure and give birth to a full -fledged healthy child.

So is it worth it to leave women alone and give them the opportunity to decide for themselves at what age they will be ready to become mothers?

Patriarchal education

In the USSR, about 25-year-old women gathered to become mothers for the first time, they said that they were old-born. But then the living conditions were worse than now, but there is no need to talk about the level of medical care.
Modern doctors now do not have such a term, now they can only voice the reproductive age - up to 46 years. But this is not the limit. Thanks to progressive medicine and technologies, a woman and older may well produce a healthy child.

You can now give birth to a child at the age when they were previously considered old -born

In Soviet times, it was believed that every girl is obliged to create a family and continue her family. Conceiving public opinion, building a career, traveling, having interesting hobbies, it was possible to engage in their own development only to a woman who fulfilled her main purpose - that is, married and having children.
And although the Soviet Union has long sunk into oblivion, the patriarchal upbringing did not disappear with him.
Grandmother - A great confirmation of the margin of the worldview of elderly people who do not want to leave the right to independently dispose of their fate. Brought up on the traditions of those years, they are sure that giving birth after 30-40 years-this means to go against human and natural laws.
What they put in the head earlier, they are projected onto their daughters and granddaughters, not even suspecting that the role of a modern woman in society can be completely different. This is a completely natural process, although women who have fallen under such sophisticated “ostracism” are no easier from this.

Reproductive rights of women: how to protect themselves from grancies?

Sadly, but the means that could be stopped by grancies and protect the reproductive rights of citizens in nature. In this matter, one thing is important - n not to notice provocations, Do not defend your rights loudly to your personal choice, convincing that you are free to build your life at your discretion.
In this case, the axiom is that “the truth is born in the dispute” does not work at all-others will still not change their opinions, on the contrary, seeing that you are trying to prove something to them, they will begin with renewed vigor for injuries.
During the dispute, you can hear from the mouth of the opponent, for example, such a phrase: “If you speak in high colors, then you are well aware of my innocence”, or something in the same spirit. Therefore, no matter what they tell you there, you should be calm.

Stay calm, but better immediately limit the conversations on unpleasant topics for you

Get this skill in yourself - not to succumb to anyone’s attacks, while maintaining complete equanimity.

Make it clear to others that your personal boundaries should not be crossed. You do not need to play silence - this is not a way out of the situation. You can answer differently, it all depends on who exactly raises the topic of marriage or childbearing.
Friends and colleagues should be satisfied, for example, such an answer: you are comfortable to be alone, because no one and nothing prevents you from doing your favorite thing, so you have a complete and rich life.
If you have to listen to attacks from close relatives, they should answer approximately like this: “Marriage and future children are my personal matter, and I will not need your help in this.” And, I hope, you have not forgotten about calmness and inner balance, because and so before the nervous breakdown - yours, of course.
It will be good if you begin to protect your boundaries with humor. For example, people can be answered curious about your marriage: “Today at midnight, when Cancer will have a desire to whistle, and the moon will enter the new phase, I will meet her narrowed and go under the crown with him.” Well, or something like that. Of course, tactless and unceremonious people will not calm down on this, but they will undoubtedly decide their zeal.

It is time to reconsider our attitude towards women and their roles in society. Each of them has the right to decide when to get married (or not to do it at all) and when and how much to give birth to children (or remain childless).

Only you have the right to decide how to live

You can often hear the phrase used as an argument in a dispute with a “naughty” girl: “I only wish you good!” Would you like her good? In this case, leave your unnecessary moralizing anyone, and let her manage your life. Forget, finally, about the "watch that tick."

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