When the beloved is cheating, it always hurts. And it often happens that he does not leave a woman. But why? Let's figure out the possible causes of men's cheating and what to do in such a situation.
Content
- Why a man changes, but does not leave: the reasons
- What to do if a man changes, but does not leave?
- Is it possible to maintain relationships after a man’s betrayal and is it worth doing?
- How can you behave if a man changes, but does not leave?
- How to make a man not change?
- Video: What is a married man looking for on the side? Real causes of male betrayal
Studies have shown that men change much more often than women. Moreover, men do not always get divorced with their wives. They manage to combine all this and do not even cause suspicion. For women, this behavior remains a mystery, because they do not understand how to betray a loved one and at the same time calmly look into his eyes. But psychologists have a different opinion on this score and they believe that this is not that a normal situation, but understandable.
Why a man changes, but does not leave: the reasons
Men and women think differently. If a woman is not m sTAR Understand why the husband does not abandon her, then the man does not even have this question. It's all about convenience. So he suits everything and he does not want to change anything.
Men often share the relationship between their mistress and wife. If the first is needed only for entertainment and satisfaction, then the second is a reliable rear and support. At home, a man always meets a delicious dinner, loving people who always support difficult moments. That is, if you reason even easier, then a lover is needed only for physical intimacy, and the wife is also for emotional.
Although, only this is explained that the husband remains in the family. There are many other reasons and let's discuss them.
- Convenience
Often men just suit everything and they do not want to change their lives. Why does he need this if the wife feeds, and the mistress will always give affection. It is comfortable with the wife, and the lover is a source of new sensations. And this can last years until everything becomes known. It also happens that the wife is aware of the adventures of the spouse. Then the situation will be resolved when one of the participants will not get tired.
- He is terrible for the changes
The man seems to be glad to change everything, but afraid. Yes, he fell in love with another woman, but he was scared to leave his family. And if the feelings for the mistress P they will be hammered? Then you have to look for another woman or return to his wife with an apology.
- Conviction is the main fear
A man often thinks about how he will look in the eyes of others. It is unlikely that this will be a positive opinion, because the departure from the spouse today is able to cause not only condemnation, but even a break in all ties with such a bad person.
- Responsibility for the family
The man is the defender of the family and his duty is to take care of her. And it doesn’t matter that the passion has already passed, no one has canceled the responsibility and it will not go anywhere. It is easier for such a conservative man to live with deception than to get away from a woman. For him, this is a shame, but he is not ready to survive him.
- He is confused in his feelings
An experienced person knows that passion cannot continue forever and there is a difference between love and love. Of course, the man is scared that his feelings will cool down and he wants to leave, but then he will also lose his wife. Then you have to live in a new way, look for another, get used to living with her.
- He is not sure about his mistress's feelings
The situation may be the opposite when a man is not particularly sure that his mistress loves him. After all, she is not necessarily with him, because she loves. Where is the guarantee that in a few months feelings will not pass? So, until the man certainly makes sure that his mistress loves him, he is unlikely to leave his family.
- He has money with money
A strange reason, but it can also become the main one. A man simply does not have money to provide his new family. And if you start all from the very beginning, then you need a lot of money. So why leave the house, where everything is already?
- He loves his wife
Men are cheating not only when they licked their wife. Feelings can be for both women. Only a mistress in this case does not get anything, because really a man loves his wife. Yes, a man can spend a lot of time with his mistress, but he will definitely not leave his wife.
- Cheating occurred by chance
This is most common. For example, on a business trip, the husband can dispel the longing random sex, well, or in the resort, start a novel. In such situations, the parties have no obligations to each other. They just met and enjoyed. That's all.
It is foolish to assume that the man will leave the family in this case. He will be extremely ashamed of his act, but he will not tell his wife about him. Otherwise, she can drive out or leave herself.
Although, wise women try to forgive this behavior, because everyone has the right to mistake and a second chance. Only if it was once.
- He does not consider treason to something bad
It is also found. You just came across such a person. For him, treason is natural and he sincerely does not understand why this is bad. He can even be proud that he is so in front of his friends. So he lived before, is not going to change it now.
Or a slightly different situation - a man remains faithful, and his friends believe that such a model of relations has long been outdated. He sees that friends go to the left and in the end also goes to it, at least to try.
If a person does not have the strongest character and public opinion is very much affected by him, then he will definitely do so someday. In the best case, no one will know about this, and at the worst - he will lose his family.
Although, often such men remain in the family. They do not experience any strong attraction to lovers, but simply want to prove to friends that they can also. And the family is usually the most important thing for them.
- He does it for a selfish purpose
In this case, we are not talking about those men who sleep with a woman for a fee. Barbeling lies in other material benefits. For example, such a connection will help to get an increase. This is often found if a man is not very burdened with some principles, and to achieve the goal all methods are good.
Cheating can last for years, but without leaving the family. It is unlikely that he nourishes tenderness for the boss. In addition, the disclosure of the service novel will harm both.
Often husbands are ashamed of such behavior and in order to at least somehow atone for the guilt, they give expensive gifts and try to pay more attention. In addition, he is not too happy about what depends on the mistress.
If you discuss this issue with a man, you can try to convince him to find another place of work, even if it will bring less money.
- He needs new sensations
It doesn’t matter how passionately the relationship began, after a one and a half to two years they are already becoming more calm and measured. Spouses get used to each other's pheromones and they already want something new. This becomes the reason for the search for new sensations.
- He is used to changing
Everything is simple here. If he lived so before marriage with you, then it will continue to continue it. He simply does not understand why you need to stop and give up your desires. For him, getting new women like hunting and he cannot suppress his instinct.
By the way, the opinions of others for such a man are not in last place and therefore he tries to change in secretly. Trying to change something makes no sense, because if you try to ban it all this, then he will most likely leave you.
- You have a child
Often women after the birth of a child are not as attractive as before. But even if this does not happen, they still begin to shun intimacy. Yes, they now do not need this also often. And there are fewer time and opportunities, because everything is taken away by the baby.
It happens that couples diverge into different rooms for a while and such a situation is definitely not for the benefit. While the whole spouse is given to the child, the husband is looking for satisfaction on the side.
- He doesn't like sex
Sometimes a woman in itself is not sexy for a man. She is so educated or she has not yet grown to the desired level. Still others may look beautiful, but in bed they are pinched until they have no experience. These situations can push a man to treason. Nobody likes when he alone shows activity, and the woman is afraid of everything and in general she is conservative and even afraid to imagine that other poses can be used. By the way, as practice shows, men often make lovers in such wives, but do not leave the family.
- He has an incorrect vision of your relationship
Some men are of the opinion that they are by nature polygamous. So treason for them is granted, but it is only desirable that no one knows about it. And all sorts of media only say that male treason is almost the norm and you can’t deal with it in any way. By the way, this affects women. Some even allow you to change, only on condition that they themselves will not know anything, and men use it.
- Jealousy
A man can be crazy about his wife and jealous of her to everyone, without exception. Next to such a beautiful woman, he feels inferior and even wakes up envy that she is so beautiful. It is much worse if she also flirts with others.
From this there is a strong resentment and no less strong desire to take revenge. How to fix it? Of course, find a mistress. Some men can confuse the past of a woman when she allowed herself to lead a random sex life. If a man knows about this, then he can even leave the family or just go to the left. So he increases his self -esteem.
- Egoism
This can also cause betrayal. For example, he wants to boast of his friends or satisfy his “ego”. If men have an inferiority complex, then they often assert themselves through lovers. In addition, perhaps he simply does not have enough attention. In particular, this is often found in adolescents or boys who did not have enough attention.
- Patriarchal views
If your man is a holder of Patriarchate, then he may well change. So, during the time of the "Domostroy", men could do whatever they wanted, and the women were sitting at home under the castle. Despite the fact that those days have long passed, some still adhere to this particular point of view. In such men, the wife does not have a vote right at home, and since she is completely subordinate to him, then the divorce should not be afraid.
Another much has a lot of education. If a man grew up in a family where treason was the norm, then he will hardly be treated differently with his wife.
But there are situations when the woman herself is also to blame for treason. When, after marriage, she ceases to take care of herself and loses its former attractiveness, the man will definitely not like it and he can find a woman on the side.
A similar situation can also be familiar from childhood, when my mother behaved either and did not follow herself, the house and so on. Basically, when the daughter becomes older, she behaves as well.
What to do if a man changes, but does not leave?
If you learned that your husband changed you and decided to stay in the family, then you need to understand how to behave correctly? You can forgive or disperse with the traitor. There is no third. If you are sure that he does not stop and will continue to change, then it is better, of course, to choose the second option.
Often women are not ready for a break and cannot imagine how to live after her husband leaves. In this case, it is better to use the recommendations of psychologists. For example, put an ultimatum to a man - a family or a lover.
The most important thing is to be calm with him - not to scandal and not threaten. Do not press on him, because you can push him to parting. You can ask your spouse “briefly” to leave for him to figure out his feelings and realize that he was losing. And if he does not understand, then everything will be resolved by itself.
It is also important not to be silent in such situations. If you learned that your spouse is incorrect, be sure to talk to him. Otherwise, he can consider it as a “green light” and continue to change. And this is regardless of whether he guesses about your thoughts or not. As a result, you may have a nervous breakdown, because you are constantly worried, and he will definitely have to leave you.
Sometimes men love another woman, but do not leave, they themselves do not even know why. In this case, it is also worth inviting him to leave for a while. It is unlikely that he, of course, go immediately to his mistress, but loneliness will benefit him. After all, often betrayals occur because a man just wants to find out what it is. And then they lose all interest.
Some men get confused in their feelings and do not know who to stay with. In such a situation, you need to help. If you want to save your family, then support it and do not arrange any scandals and interrogations. This can harm the relationship, because you do not want him to leave?
Often women want to deal with their mistress and show who is the main one. But it’s better not to do this. Why humiliate yourself? It is better to just survive the resentment and live on. Find yourself an interesting lesson to your liking, which will help to be distracted. It is important to always maintain the adequacy of thoughts.
Is it possible to maintain relationships after a man’s betrayal and is it worth doing?
The man changed, but is not going to leave. Yes, and it suits you. But relations can only be established if two conditions are met:
- You really forgive him and will not remind him anymore
- He will be able to prove to you that he will never do it again
It is also important to understand that you should behave correctly:
The first thing your spouse should understand that you obviously will not tolerate another such similarity.
- It is strictly forbidden to make excuses to him. Maybe you really have guilt, but this does not mean that you are to blame for everything. Remember that he betrayed you, not you. It doesn’t even matter what the reason was.
- Sometimes women have a desire to take revenge and they also start a relationship with a lover. But this is a big mistake that will create even more problems. The family is clearly not saved, it will simply finally collapse. Moreover, the third person who was simply used will be involved in the relationship.
- Do not console yourself, doing a hobby, or drinking. Undoubtedly, it is difficult to forget the betrayal. But you must find strength for this and try to return everything.
- Try to sincerely forgive your husband. Otherwise, you will not be able to avoid scandals and quarrels even for a minor occasion.
How can you behave if a man changes, but does not leave?
To take small steps to reconciliation is not all. You must abandon some things in order to maintain your dignity and save your nerves.
- Do not build a sacrifice out of yourself. Know how to overpower the resentment. If you begin to suffer and regret yourself, then nothing good will work.
- Do not complain to anyone. Pity always humiliates a person. Moreover, after some time you will cool down and forgive him, and also let go of the past. That's just others will remember this. Do you need it? If you really want to share the problems, then let it be better than someone who you trust the most and he will be able to understand you.
- Do not take revenge on your mistress. She has nothing to do with it. Better think why this could have happened at all. Give your spouse what he lacks in your relationship. This will maintain your relationship and strengthen them.
- Do not arrange tantrums. No one should see you weak. And a strong woman causes admiration and respect for everyone.
How to make a man not change?
It is much easier to prevent the formation of the disease than treat it. The same situation with treason. Choose one of the right ways to keep a man so that he does not even think about looking at other women. A man can go to treason or part if a woman becomes not interested in him. There are several ways to achieve the desired effect:
- Always be beautiful and attractive
Almost every man always looks at his appearance. Therefore, more importantly, it is important to follow your appearance. To do this, it is not necessary to go to beauty salons. You can put yourself in order on your own. Although, visiting the salon will not be superfluous either - this will make beauty, as well as cheer up.
- Maintain order in the house
When your house is not tidy, and you feed your husband alone dumplings, then this is clearly not a plus. It’s not scary if this is a one -time situation, but if it happens constantly, then you should already think. If a man comes across a mistress who loves to cook, and even in bed is good, then there is a greater chance that he will stay with her.
- Learn to start it
Playing and moderately a luxurious girl always likes men. If you behave like this, then your beloved will never cool for you. Do not look like a gray mouse, and even more so to be it. Men like it when a woman can be proud of.
- Do not argue with your husband
Always support it. It is important for a man that his wife is also a friend for him.
- Do not try to re -educate him
It is unlikely that you will succeed. Moreover, you will face a strong protest on his part. Maybe he obviously will not show you it, but he will internally resist. As a result, nothing good will work. He will simply find the one that will accept it as it is, and he will leave you.
- Do not control it
If you constantly put pressure on your husband and torment constant control, then he can go to treason or find another woman. Give him a little freedom, of course, within reasonable limits.
- Provoke him jealousy
Do not hard with this. If you openly flirt with the opposite sex, then the effect can be the opposite. It is enough just to put on a beautiful outfit to the party and behave coquettishly.
This will allow you to attract others, and the man will notice this and begin to strain. Moreover, he will look at you with different eyes, appreciate unnoticed earlier dignity, and also show interest in relationships.
They lived in marriage with her husband for 15 years, not counting that time of meetings before the wedding. I felt how our relations began to cool. Muzh began to linger from work, became colder in relation to me, began to hide the phone. In general, his behavior changed a lot ... it turned out, it turned out, it turned out that it turned out that that my husband has another family in which two minor children grow up .. now it turns out, as it happens in life. I don’t convey in words the pain that I experienced. And I, like many women, loved and trusted ...
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Everything was good with my husband as soon as the attitude changed extremely, not to spend the night at home to go on business trips, which before it was not observed by trifles. I immediately became clear as my husband had already lived for two families and powder my brains. So the girls not there is smoke without fire, vigilant everyday life and are not afraid to check your soul mate