If a man was offended: how to behave correctly, how to learn not to offend a guy, what to do so that a guy, a man stops being offended?

The misunderstandings between people, alas, often happen, sometimes it happens that you did not think to offend the interlocutor, but for some reason he took your words as a personal insult and now-offended, does not want to talk. What can we say about those cases when we are in the heat of passions and emotions intentionally wound the interlocutor with a sharp word or act.

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Probably, many came across a similar situation. In this case, it is especially difficult for girls who voluntarily or involuntarily inflicted offense to their partner. Is it possible to correct the situation how to do this, and the main thing is how to learn to curb your emotional impulses in time, which you often often begin to regret? The answers to these and many other questions are below.

Why is a man offended?

The most common causes of male grievances, of course, are those that relate to psychological aspects.

For example:

The man is not confident in himself. The girl, expressing discontent, is most often guided by emotions, and then, under their influence, speaks really offensive, and sometimes offensive, words. But a man does not always realize that these words come precisely from emotions, and not from reason, and perceives them behind a pure coin, i.e. - As a girl’s true look at his person. And then there is nothing surprising in the fact that the man is offended by words, because his self -esteem is affected. At the same time, even if the girl sincerely spoke about her feelings before the quarrel, his confidence in the web inflicted serious damage. So, even in the heat of the quarrel, you should carefully choose words, speaking about the subject of discord, and not humiliating the individual.
Excessive conceit. In this case, the man will expect that the woman herself realizes her wrong and asks for forgiveness. It is hardly possible to give clear recommendations on whether it is worth doing it - after all, women are so different, besides, she can really be wrong, creating a grandiose scandal with insults and humiliations from a trifling occasion. But it should be remembered that a man should be not only strong, but also condescending. If trifling discord becomes an occasion to become in the pose of the offended for several days - it is worth considering if he is looking for a reason for the cessation of a relationship.
The man is in doubt about whether he loves. Typically, in such cases, representatives of the stronger sex find signs of lack of feelings everywhere: did not smile in response to his joke, did not praise, did not caress ... Often this behavior also stems from self -doubt, but, as it may, noticing it (or imagining myself ) that he is not the center of the universe for the girl, a man is quite capable of expressing his insult by ignoring his girlfriend.
The difference in views on the norms of behavior. A fairly common situation: he is a homebody, and she is a lover of companies, parties, a cheerful pastime. Then the girl may seem to the man almost the standard of licentiousness, which flows into his resentment. Or vice versa: she is quiet and home, he is a lover of beer and football with friends. It is possible that the girl after a short time will begin to be perceived by him as a “klusha”, not going beyond her “nest”. Such a different perception of behavioral models can also be a reason for discontent and resentment.

A man can be offended for various occasions

Signs that the guy, the man was offended

The most characteristic behavior of the guy, if he is offended, is closure. This comes from the fact that the guy simply fears that he can say what he will regret later. The stronger the man, the more he will strive to cope with his resentment on his own, leaving for himself.
For example, if a man is offended, then he is striving minimize communication. This is expressed in the fact that he in every possible way avoids conversations, tries to minimize the time of communication, if he generally picks up the phone, preferring to communicate not with calls, but SMS. His emotions are minimal, answers are monosyllabic.
Guy avoids your company, preferring to her communication with friends or being alone. He ceases to warn you that he is delayed, violates the agreements, does not share his plans and intentions. His compliments no longer sound, tenderness leaves the relationship, not to mention caresses and sexual relationships.

How to learn not to offend a man, guy?

Many psychologists say that bring offense, offend - This is the wrong definition, since resentment is only one of the reactions that a person chooses on his own. In his will, you can’t become an offended pose, but to raise a voice in response, smiling, turning the conversation into a joking channel, hinging the conflict, silently leave ...
However, if a man is still offended, then the girl should think about being learned to avoid conflict situations, and even more so, not provoke them. After all, the guy’s choice of reaction of resentment follows from her words and actions, and the attitude and how they develop always depend on both.
And in order for problems as few in these relations, the main thing is to do the girl so as not to offend a man, this learn and study his preferences, tastes, views, concepts. It was then that she does not embroider 5 tablespoons of sugar in coffee, trying to please her man, while he prefers black strong and completely unseemly coffee. And so funny, at first glance - an absurd and frankly harmless mistake can really lead to a conflict. Especially if both sides have a quick -tempered character and do not climb into your pocket for a word.
If the guy is inclined to be offended, this may talk about his vulnerability. Such people simply need them to be regretted, stroked on the head, become a “vest”, into which you can cry out. This is exactly what the girl should do if he sees that her partner is ready to puff her lips and resentfully turn away. Wound guys love when they are pity. The girl needs to become a “vest” for her husband, in which he can always cry.
A man, prone to resentment, is not even in a joking form threaten physical reprisal. If you pick up a rolling pin to illustrate a scene from a famous joke, he is able to remain offended by almost all his life. Your weapon is calm, equanimity, balance. Refrain from assessments and transition to personality, correctly and intactly speak only about the subject of the dispute.

It is important not to go on personal and not insult your partner

Many men are so vulnerable that even the lack of a reaction to his attempt to be witty can upset the representative of the stronger sex. Therefore, if you really value relationships with this guy, you should not ignore his exercises in rhetoric. And most importantly, the universal, “golden” rule of communication in a couple: do not criticize your man! Do not do this, neither being alone with him, nor even more so - in the presence of outsiders!

What to do if the guy is offended and does not answer SMS?

Firstly, do not panic and not invent what is actually not at all. So, if your man ignores your SMS, this does not necessarily mean that you offended him with something. Perhaps it is simply loaded with work so that there is no time to raise your head, and then your messages ...
As an option-he experiences some difficulties, the decision of which completely absorbs all his attention and takes away a lot of efforts. Based on this, before driving into his head that the man was offended, the girl needs to calmly and correctly find out the reason for his silence. It is best to just wait for some time-in 90% of cases, the guy, having coped with his problems, will be in touch.
If the silence is delayed, and the girl feels what is called “sixth feeling” that the conflict and male resentment are still present - the best way out will be friendly conversation, without aggression, “raids”, attempts to clarify relations etc. The easier and more ordinary your questions will be, the more friendly your mood will be, the better. After all, it is not a fact that a man was really offended, and friendly participation is always appropriate. It is possible that such a frank conversation, the girl will further strengthen the relationship with her beloved.

What to do if a man is often offended?

Again, we listen to experienced specialists in psychologists who claim that such behavior can serve way of manipulating a woman. The tactics are simple: to convince the girl that she is constantly to blame for him, to force her to experience this feeling, turning it almost into a complex.

To overcome such a complex, if it already manifests itself, it will be difficult enough, so that the girl should think at the very beginning of such a situation “without guilt” whether she really offended a person or is it intentional actions of the manipulator. If the second, it is best not to continue relations with such a person.
The girl should not feel doubt about her own self -sufficiency And in no case should you allow self -esteem. After all, the manipulative behavior of a man is precisely for this. In relations, equal rights should be maintained, which is impossible with a constant purposeful humiliation of another.
Of course, do not change your established lifestyle, as if often the man was not offended. Continue to meet with your friends, have fun, attend movies, theaters, gym - in a word, live as usual. At the same time, do not terrorize the guy with your calls, SMSs and visits. Do not arrange “educational” conversations with a story about how hard it is for you to endure his grievances, how you suffer from this, etc. From such your behavior, a man will only close even more.
Tested and balanced Women can be advised to perceive the situation from a philosophical point of view. Just let the offended man be alone, do not insist on communication, and even more so - in no case do not impose it. Perhaps the partner simply needs time to analyze the situation, his feelings and attitudes to you. Often such a “respite” gives positive results and takes a relationship to a new, higher level.
If the guy’s frequent resentments have some reason, and you yourself feel it, then perhaps you should think about changing your own behavior with him somehow. It is possible that it is really not very correct and respectful in relation to the partner. And, of course, you need to analyze your actions, understand what exactly you are doing wrong. Realizing this, you can avoid such situations in the future. If necessary, a man should apologize.

The man was offended: how to apologize correctly?

So, the man was offended - he does not call and does not write, silent, avoids communication, or, on the contrary, emphasizes in every possible way that he was applied almost a deadly insult. If you feel sin, the best way out will be to apologize, because this is also an indicator that you respect your partner, you are reckoning with him. And in order for an apology to work, you need to bring it correctly.
The first step should be an analysis of his words or actions, after which the guy was closed and stopped communication. Realizing that it was so much hurt him, you can calmly and tactfully explain to him why such words did this or said that way. After that, promise that based on the understanding that such situations are unpleasant to him and touch his pride, you will make every effort so that they do not arise in the future.
More efforts will have to be attached if you managed to seriously offend your young man quite seriously. Difficulties can begin already at the first stage when you try to completely switch his attention to yourself. This will be especially difficult, because ignoring is included in the line of his behavior, and so simply the man will not give up.
How to melt this ice - depends on your skills and preferences of your boyfriend: whether it will be a romantic dinner (and not so much candle and peignoir will be important here as an amazing exquisite taste of the dishes you have prepared), or the presentation of his beloved, taking into account his interests and preferences , of course. Try to use as a “weapon” also seductive appearance, having worked on the corresponding makeup and outfit. The main thing is that do not overdo it and do not fall into frank vulgarity. Thus relaxing the tension that reigned between you and softening the severity of your chosen one, calmly talk to him, explaining the motives of your behavior and apologizing.
Your main task during such a conversation is calm and equanimity, endurance and rational approach. No emotions and tantrums, even if a man flares up. If you succumb to emotions, you can ruin the progress already achieved in a relationship, or, worse, worsen the situation.

What to do to make a guy, a man stops being offended?

If you have tried the above methods, but they did not work, resort to help humor. This is a universal remedy that can make a man not only smile, but also speak with you again if you like your sharpness.
Just ask your boyfriend a question on the topic that is interesting to him, which he owns well and can demonstrate his competence in all its splendor. Then a man is unlikely to resist and will not take the opportunity to show off. The more interesting the topic you have raised for a man, the greater the chance that he will speak with you.
Use epistolary genre - It can also help return the situation to a more calm direction. Write a note to your beloved - it's so romantic! In extreme cases, you can send a letter by e-mail or send an SMS message. And do not forget that personal conversation is an obligatory and integral part of your process of establishing relations.
Try it attract your common friends or relatives of a guy. Here the choice of “intermediary” should be based on the guy to feel confidence and respect for this person. Through it you can convey your explanations and words of an apology.
Even if a man is offended, your behavior should be natural. If you begin to behave unusual for you, it will be distinguished by the unnaturalness of your behavior and can be perceived as a mockery. Be calm and do not reproach your partner, and even more so - do not strive to hurt him, otherwise it can lead to a new insult. Sincerity and mutual respect “That's what will help you make a man stop offending.”

If a man is offended: how to return normal relations?

After the resentment of a man was expressed and apologies were brought, for some time in the relationship of the couple can remain tension. To remove it and in the future pair to prevent such situations, remember the need tact. For example, if something does not suit you in an intimate relationship, do not resort to sharp phrases and gross reproaches-you not only hurt your partner, but also develop complexes in it. Just tell him about your wishes, emphasize that this is important for you.
Do not insult and do not criticize his friends, and even more so - relatives. If you manage to establish friendly warm relationships with them, this will warn many grievances. Remember that your man values \u200b\u200bthese people.

Insulting loved ones is a common cause of resentment of a man

After a quarrel, you will become especially pleasant Signs of attention, who emphasize that you still love him, despite all the disagreements. Do not forget about gifts, let it be even symbolic souvenirs - they will talk about your care and attention. And, of course, do not miss the opportunity to praise a partner, tell him an affectionate word, make a compliment.
Even if you are by nature jealousHold your impulses. If you make him look for excuses that it exists only in your imagination, a new resentment is inevitable.
Let him spend his free time in accordance with his interests, and not your desires. Is he avid fishing? Let him go fishing on a weekend, and not accompany you in the next shopping. An avid fan will be much more welcoming and positively configured in a relationship after visiting the match with the participation of your favorite team. If you ultimatively force him to ensure that he devotes all your leisure to you, you will only cause his indignation, and there can be no question of returning relationships in a normal channel.
If your boyfriend wants to speak out, give him this opportunity, do not break him and do not get away from the conversation. Relations in pairs should be worn confidence and respectful, based on mutual support - then your relationship will quickly and painlessly return to the normal direction.

How not to behave if a man is offended?

You never need to express response grievances. Even if you think that there is every reason for this - hide your response resentment. If you value relationships and do not want to lose your loved one, do not be offended: such a reverse reaction can finally destroy your relationship.
If a man is offended, do not arrange tantrums and clarification of relationships - This can lead to even greater problems. Do not resort to manipulations, threats and provocations.
Do not ignore the man and his resentment completely. This can be perceived by him as indifference to his person and feelings.
Do not apologize insincerely. False is always audible. Better wait a while to better feel the need to ask for forgiveness and choose the necessary words.
And most importantly - do not panic Rushing for advice to friends or parents. Your quarrels and resentment are the internal subtleties of your relationship, which should be built based on your own sensations and feelings, and not on other people's experience.

How long can a man be offended?

Psychologists argue that the norm for the initial stage of relations, when it is not yet completely clear how serious and strong they are, are 2-3 days that a man can be offended by you. If your boyfriend does not resume communication after this period, then most likely it is hardly worth expecting that the relationship will be applied.
As for longer, family relationships, it is impossible to talk about any specific dates, since each pair has its own subtleties of communication, relationships and foundations. Someone may not communicate for weeks, and thus spouses simply “rest” from each other. Others can make peace after a day, and after two more - quarrel again, making complaints to each other and mutually offended.

The duration of resentment depends on the format of your relationship

How to send a man without offending?

You need to start by determining your attitude to the guy. If he is not like you, you should not give him hope. Resentment of a man and all subsequent problems will be due precisely with the fact that the guy perceived your coquetry and flirting for sympathy and reciprocity. If the girl’s behavior is nothing more than just polite (even some coldness is acceptable), then the guy will not have a reason for resentment.
If at first the girl showed interest in the guy, and then I realized that this is a hero not her novel, then one should refuse subsequent meetings, while it is not necessary to call the reasons for the refusal. And you do not need to smooth out your refusal by the promise of the meeting someday later-this is also a false hope, the unjustification of which will lead to resentment.
Do not maintain communication on social networks. It is enough dryly and politely to answer his questions without asking the oncoming ones. The lack of interest in himself a normal person will feel very quickly and, most likely, will understand everything correctly.
If the young man, despite the whole coldness of the girl, continues to seek her, he may really feel sincere feelings for her. In this case, it is simply necessary to act carefullybut honestly. In this case, not to avoid a frank conversation, which is best done personally, especially with a good acquaintance. If the guy is just from a number of random acquaintances, you can write to him on a social network or send an SMS.
Sometimes the reception "take guilt on myself." We can tell the guy that new relationships are still unacceptable, since you have not yet come to your senses from the last gap. In extreme cases, there is a win -win version of “I love another”, only it should be used if the guy was not given false hopes.
It will be nice to tell the guy that you appreciate his attitude and respect him - so the young man will understand that his attempts at rapprochement are appreciated. In addition, praise always gives confidence.
The refusal should be decisive so that the guy does not take the girl as simply the playing role of the inconsistent. At the same time, it must be expressed in a polite, correct form.
Not the best option for refusal would be a lie about relationships, which are actually not, ignoring his messages. And do not offer the guy to remain friends - this is like the girl leaves the way to retreat.