My husband has a mistress: what to do, is it worth fighting for her husband with his mistress?

My husband has a mistress: what to do, is it worth fighting for her husband with his mistress?

You built a family, with the love of Vili a family nest, put the whole soul in order to surround the precious husband with care, attention and warmth, and he ... a lover appeared. The world staggered, everything suddenly turned upside down, and the question seems to have settled forever in your head, how to live on - after all, everything that you still lived, suddenly collapsed overnight.

So what to do if your husband started a mistress on the side, how to return the wrong one to the family and make the feelings revive? First of all, try to remain calm, collect all your strength and follow our recommendations.

My husband has a lover: What to do?

  • The appearance of a lover in her husband is a powerful effect on pride, worldview, trust, which can further affect how you will perceive the relationship between people. Cheating entails the most negative emotions. Together with pain, resentment, anger and disappointment, fear and all -consuming sadness come.
  • It is incredibly difficult to keep all these feelings in themselves, preventing them from splashing out. And only very restrained women in such situations will be able to keep them under control, objectively evaluating the created position.
  • Usually, as soon as the wife finds out about her husband's betrayal, she begins tormented by thoughts, looking for reasons in yourself. She wonders what is wrong with herself if he began to meet with another woman.
  • In no case should you do self -digging - it will not bring to good. It is better to call on a psychologist to help yourself than endlessly looking for non -existent shortcomings in yourself.
  • The reasons why the husband visits his mistress, or in general he decided to go to her, may not have anything to do with you, or they concern both of you. Let's see for a start with these reasons, and later - we will begin to look for a solution.
My husband has a lover, what to do - the advice of psychologists for wives
My husband has a lover, what to do - the advice of psychologists for wives

Why did her husband have a lover: reasons

The main reasons why husbands have mistresses:

  • Congenital polygamy. The lion's share of the male community is able to be interested in several women at the same time - this is how nature is laid down in them. Perhaps your husband is from their cohort. Often they perceive random ties as a fleeting hobby, and the family remains a constant constant for them.
  • Sacrifice and hunter. For some men, stimulation of feelings is like a drug. It is important for him to always be in the state of the conqueror. If he achieves reciprocity from a woman, he immediately loses all interest in her. If you managed to somehow miraculously entrust such a man with a marriage bonds, then you have chosen the right tactics of behavior with him. Holding it in constant tension, you were an unread book for him, and for him the main thing is to conquer and solve a woman at any cost. As soon as he will decide that he had already successfully unraveled this complex “crossword”, as he would immediately take the new one.
  • A weak woman who wants to protect. Some women are characterized by fear of looking in the eyes of men limp and weak. Therefore, they try to be on equal terms with their partner. Get a salary the same as he, or even more, pick up a hammer and nails in his hands to nail a shelf in the kitchen, re -paste the wallpaper alone, etc. Moreover, to all this, they begin to make decisions on any issues without discussing them first with the head of the family. And it is precisely at such a moment that a weak, fragile, needy for patronage a woman who wants to take under her wing your husband may appear. An ideal classic understanding of the family - the husband should work and solve all global issues, and the wife is a housewife who is engaged in children and creates the conditions comfortable for living. Perhaps your husband has such a stereotype, and a woman who came across his life path is fully consistent with his mentally cherished image.
  • With a sweetheart is not a paradise in a hut! If time passes, and the family cannot get rid of material and housing difficulties - on the contrary, like a snowball, they are added and added, then this will invariably lead to a complication of relations. As a result, quarrels, scandals will follow, irritation and dissatisfaction with each other will accumulate. To relieve stress, the husband will look for an outlet on the side, where he is understood and accepted as he is. In the arms of his mistress, who will be sore and regret him, he will be able to relax and at least temporarily forget about all the problems.
  • The need for fresh sensations. Passion cannot last forever - over the years, the severity of feelings is dull, and spouses establish even relations, as if between a brother and sister. Relations, of course, are warm and close, but passion and violent emotions irrevocably disappear, namely, this is so lacking in the first youth that has already lost the first youth!
The desire for new sensations
The desire for new sensations
  • The indifference of the wife and her unwillingness to take care of herself. The picture that has become a familiar and uninteresting is a wife in a home dressing gown and with curlers on her head, often grumbling and dissatisfied with something. She has neither the time nor the desire to listen to the problems of her spouse and empathy. After all, they both had a heavy working day, and endless homework is still waiting for her ahead. Another thing is a mistress! She never loses its shape, is always ready for a passionate date, which made manicure, pedicure and depilation in time. And she, like no one else, understands someone else's husband, knows how to listen to him, sympathize and caress. Families whose experience is from five years and above can fall into such a situation.

My husband has a mistress: how to behave to a wife, how to prevent mistakes?

If you understand the reasons for her husband’s betrayal, then there will be a solution. And in order to get the best effect, you need to fix the achieved results in the fight against treason. It is pointless to constantly monitor her husband, forcing him to get rid of an endless series of mistresses, constantly replacing each other. There will be no positive result until its attitude changes to you.

  • So, you learned that your husband is cheating on you, My husband has a mistress. Before making any decision, make deep inhalation and try to pull yourself togetherIn order not to break firewood from the problem that suddenly fell on you. You need to wait out the moment when you are impulsively ready to throw things into your suitcases, grab children, cat and favorite cactus, and run without looking back at the parental house. Or, crushing from barely restrained tears, shout into his telephone pipe the words of curses and accusations: "How could you do this to me?" He was able to, but how he did it-he is unlikely to tell you about this.
  • To figure out what led her husband to treason, We need sober brains, not undermined by resentment and all other negative emotions. Try to impartially analyze your relationship. But if you even give in your life to “spectral analysis”, decomposing it into the components, you will not at all be found at all a primordial, according to which treason could arise in principle.
  • But at least you have at least the desired view of the problematic question will be formed. After a few, you can decide for yourself whether you want the wrong one to stay near you, whether you want to re -educate him so that he no longer stares at other people's skirts. Or no longer want to stay with him at all, since you can never forgive him for betrayal.
  • But no matter what conclusion you come to, you should not make decisions without talking about this with your spouse. Try to do this without accusations, it is better to carefully listen to his arguments or excuses. He has already done this, and it is impossible to rewind everything back. And he did it for some reason, even if it is difficult for you to understand and accept them. Screams, tears and resentment will not help you, so you do not need to torment your nerves in vain. Take care of yourself.
It is forbidden if a man has a lover
It is forbidden if a man has a lover
Errors of wives
Errors of wives

My husband has a mistress: how to understand and forgive treason?

If your plans are the safety of the family, then you cannot do without a sober mind and a conscious approach to resolving this task. Everything must be done without excessive nervousness - it can only harm your plans. Observation of how events develop is what you should start, because open actions can not always lead to the result you need.

  • You yourself need realize your uniqueness and value - This will help at first, while the pain is still very acute, to cope with the problem.
  • If a my husband has a lover - This is a bell that the time has come to think about yourself as an individual and to determine your own goals. You should start with the fulfillment of your desires, which were constantly delayed due to a lack of time.
  • Apply all your strength to start making a career, think about new areas in work and slowly master them, take up the realization of your talents and abilities, find for yourself an interesting hobby, change your wardrobe, change your hairstyle and makeup.
  • Believe me, a better and more effective way out of a crisis situation simply does not exist in nature. But there is a problem, usually after receiving the news of the treason of her husband, a woman plunges into apathy and cannot even move a finger in order to somehow change the situation. However, if you set yourself the goal of fighting your husband, then you will not help with tears, reproaches and accusations. After all, no one will want, including your husband, to remain in a psychologically difficult environment.
  • And remember you will be able to pick up your spouse from the separation only if you change as a person - Separately from his life. Give as much time as possible for yourself, and soon the situation will cease to seem tragic to you, and violent experiences will leave you.
Separate yourself from your husband’s life, start developing
Separate yourself from your husband’s life, start developing
  • And with this, the chance will increase that your spouse will appreciate your efforts. Otherwise, he will have to choose between the Sryzksyva, depressed, ever -frustrated wife and cheerful, well -groomed, understanding everything and requiring nothing. What do you think in this case will your husband choose?

My husband has a lover: How to understand that my husband fell in love with another?

In fact, the truth is almost always lies on the surface, no one wants to notice it - because it’s easier to live in ignorance. If at least something changes in your joint life or in the man itself, then this is already a reason to take a closer look at him and give the analysis for the last few weeks of marital life. And it is not the fact that he no longer succeeds you with flowers and gifts - in family life it usually does not continue for so long, but the manifestations of infidelity will certainly show themselves.

How to understand that my husband fell in love with another:

  • Husband behavior. Men are all different, and in various situations they behave each in their own way. If a mistress appears in their life, some of them begin to behave rudely in relation to their spouse, they are constantly unhappy with something. They are all annoying, they can afford offensive ridicule over their second half, reproach and moral bullying. It happens that even the presence of children and strangers does not stop such tyrants. In the second category, husbands, on the contrary, become amiable to cloying, they ask their wives with flowers and unexpected gifts. Both aggression and mock care can be regarded by a feeling of fault if the husband was carried away by another woman.
You will see changes in his behavior
You will see changes in his behavior
  • Attitude to the wife. If stagnation has been outlined in intimate life, or it has completely stopped, and the husband does not complain about health, then you should think about the reasons for the extinction of sexual desire. It will be useful to pay attention to if the intimate preferences of the loved one suddenly change, which can talk about a subconscious attempt in a spouse to see another woman.
  • Schedule. If my husband has a mistress, then he will have to somehow cut off time. Therefore, protracted meetings, endless business trips, delays at work, etc. appear. If lovers are at the peak of their relationship, they need constant communication.
  • Attitude to the means of communication. The husband fell in love with another and is experiencing a constant desire to be closer to her. Because of this, there is a strong dependence on the means of communication. He simply “fuses” with the phone, sleeps with him and retires in public places. God forbid, his wife will suddenly look into his phone - he can happen from this hysteria. He constantly changes passwords in social networks, He hungs there for a long time, because without virtual communication his life has a misfortune.
  • Appearance. Together with the advent of the mistress, the appearance of the husband also changes. Not one women tend to be good if she has a lover. The same thing happens with incorrect husbands. During the period of new love, he will no longer wear crumpled shirts, get rid of bristles, and a strong male spirit transforms into neatness and the popular aroma of branded perfume.

My husband has a mistress and new love: Options for the development of events

If you recently found out that your husband’s lover had a little time after an explosion of emotions, the question arises of further life. There are not so many options-there are only three of them, of which it is worth choosing the one that will be most convenient for you.

  • Radical option. Fold things in the suitcases, putting the wrong husband for the threshold, or leave herself. Apply for divorce. Share your misfortune with friends who are always ready to support you. Divorce, and then notify about this event in social networks. To get acquainted with messages, tips and words of support that virtual friends will turn to you. Having shoved and adhere to the pillow, go to look for a new love.
  • The best option. He repents in his mistake, throws the seducer and, like a prodigal son, will return to the family. Without any impulsion from the side, he will remove all the pages on social networks, it will defiantly not notice the passionate calls of the former mistress. He realizes that with his own hands he almost destroyed relations with the most beautiful woman in the world - that is, with you, and will beg for forgiveness. Nothing prevents him from falling in love with his wife, and she - forgive him. It is possible that after years, when all passions will already completely and completely settle down, they will only laugh at this life episode through which they had to go through.
If the wife forgives, then you can re -build an excellent relationship
If the wife forgives, then you can re -build an excellent relationship
  • A psychologically conscious option. Not everyone can follow this scenario. He is only possible for truly close, strong and honest people. A man is well aware that he met a true love of his whole life, but at the same time he loves his wife, only with another love, in which more gratitude, tenderness, respect, than passions. The wife guesses that he sincerely fell in love with another woman and experiences mental suffering from understanding that even if he remains in the family, they will be unhappy both. Her feelings are so strong that she lets him go to new love and the status of her wife changes him to her friend's status. In no case will not forget about common children, In which he will certainly participate. He will help the family in solving household issues, help with money and good tips. This option is for psychologically mature and very reasonable people.

My husband has a mistress and he wants to leave: what to do?

  • The husband has a mistress and does he want to leave? Let it leave - let him go in peace, without tears and hysterical. Remember, a man connected by the bonds of marriage, forbidden love seems to be an beckoning, intriguing, shrouded in a mysterious fleur - she promises him a truly paradise pleasure.
  • Having parted with the spouse, you will have to tolerate a couple of weeks, during which demons of jealousy, resentment and disappointment will torment your soul. But do not worry, it will not be forever, already over the following 1.5 months your internal state will slowly return to normal.
  • Of course, it will not be possible to completely throw off the load of negativity from your shoulders so quickly, but you will get rid of acute pain. If you yourself do not want to part with the painful memories, then eternal stress and depression will wait ahead of you.
  • Right now, when you broke up, your priority should become restoring personal values. It's time to start living your life, your interests. And try not to mentally interfere in his life, just forbid yourself to think and remember about him - it will be easier for you first of all.
  • You should not draw pictures in the imagination of how he relates to you, but how - to the woman who took it away from you. Constantly getting tacing on this, you you can psychologically more and more destroy yourself, With his own hands, provoking the occurrence of diseases. Try to meet with him as little as possible, instead of continuously waiting for his arrival, do nothing to him spite or, conversely, for his sake.
  • No matter how you dream of the return of your spouse, he needs Give a choice. And if you do not annoy him annoyingly, it is quite possible that he will soon return to you. And how will it go further - the decision is behind you. If you have learned to live without him, then you still think firmly, but do you need it at all?
If the husband goes to his mistress - what to do?
If the husband goes to his mistress - what to do?

Remember, if two want this, then everything can be returned back - to resume relationships and even revive to life, it would seem, faded feelings. Primarily, understand your own feelings - Instead of enduring the indictment, or, conversely, an acquittal verdict to a guilty husband.

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Comments K. article

  1. i turned to a person I had such a situation in my life and I needed to control my husband, my friend
    I advised the guy, he connected the wiretap on my husband’s phone and I was able to read and read the SMS calls on whatsappe Viber.

  2. thank you Igor Mail here

  3. this is yes I'm in shock. Thanks to the girl.

  4. Hello my name is Name, I read your interesting article. The article was very useful for me and my friends.

  5. Let him live

  6. Girls, I had a situation when one day, after 15 years of my husband’s happy marriage, as they replaced. He stopped spending the night at home, constantly insulted me, even in the presence of our son. I found another woman, older than me, 7 years old. The most interesting thing is that in fact neither skin nor face, and even older. Okay, if it were rich, so not, the most common. She worked as a cashier in a supermarket. It turned out that the husband was bewitched (although I guessed).

  7. When I found out that my husband lives on two -seven and always deceives me (he still racks his head and thinks where I know him every step), it was so he began to linger from work, became colder in relation to me, began to hide the phone. In general, his behavior changed a lot that my husband has another family in which two minor children grow up ...

  8. cool article

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