Why do parents forbid children and teenagers any things? What do parents need and what can not be banned for the child? How to prohibit something to a child: a psychologist's advice

From this article you will learn what you can prohibit the child and what is not worth it.

Content

Each family uses its own approach to raising children. All parents set a certain framework, only someone is wider. So it’s easier to just allow what to explain why it is impossible. Someone has too hard the boundaries when it is impossible, this is impossible. How often do you prohibit something to a child? Do you know that not everything can be prohibited and even eat destructive prohibitions? Not? That's just about you will learn from our article.

Why do parents forbid children and teenagers any things?

Parents often prohibit something to do something to their children, especially adolescents. Their parental prohibitions are perceived especially acutely and they try to do in everything contrary to everything. Why do parents forbid children any things? Is it worth considering parents evil, or that they do not like their child? In fact, every parent is always trying to do as best. And there are several reasons why he is trying to ban any things or things:

First of all, parents always think about the security of the child. Too frank clothes can be liked not only by classmates, but also to maniacs. So do not walk in the dark in a too short skirt.
The actions of parents are always backed up by the arguments of the mind, as well as personal experience. Adults have already found their place in life and are now trying to help find him a child.
With prohibitions, parents always think about the benefits for the child. In this case, it means a ban on smoking, drinking, late walks.
Parents always participate in the formation of the character of children, because they consider themselves responsible for this. His future life depends on the character that will develop in a teenager. Parents always want the children to live better or at least the same as them. And if the child is in a bad company, then he can break his life. Nobody wants this.
Parents keep children within the “framework”, because you cannot live in permissiveness. Absolute freedom in society is impossible. Over time, the child will understand this.

Children always strive to violate the prohibitions of parents. And this is not stupidity at all, but simply ignorance of life. If this happens, then the child still needs custody. The more realized the actions, the less guardianship is required.

Can parents forbid to communicate with friends, is it right?

Often parental prohibitions are related to friends. If a friend does not like, then the parent prefers to simply ban. But is it worth doing? Can parents forbid to communicate with friends?

In fact, such radical measures should definitely not be taken. Moreover, this will help much. You only provoke conflicts in the family. So you just have to come to terms, and intervene only in extreme cases.

At the age of 9-12 years, all children are drawn to those peers whose communication is necessary for them. Yes, you may not like friends, but the child needs them.

You can count that friendship is not serious, only teenagers look at it differently. For them, psychological balance is very important. So, if kids are friends only for the game, then more adult children do this for communication, emotions and development. Thanks to such communication, the teenager has gender and social status.

It is important for parents to be careful, because a strong emotional connection can lead to the fact that the child will depend on friends. In such a situation, it is necessary to adjust the moral and ethical norms that more adult friends set, and this is not easy.

In any case, the teenager should not prohibit communication, because he will definitely not listen to you and will do it in his own way.

Better start communicating with your child's friends. Call a visit, find out better. This will allow you to understand what kind of children are in front of you and how to respond to the situation. In addition, maybe they are not so bad, it just seems to be.

If friends still do not suit you even after communication, then try to transfer the child to another circle of communication, for example, write him in a circle. Maybe there, his relationship will go to another environment.

Parents should interfere in communication only if they mock the child or is under the influence of a too aggressive and unbalanced teenager.

What do parents need to ban their child?

As we have already said, parental prohibitions establish a certain framework for the child, within which he can do something, but something is not. What can parents prohibit a child?

So, the prohibitions can be as follows:

Cruelty. It is unacceptable to any living creature. This applies to animals, people and even plants. Increase love for your child in everything, and you should not even pull the cat by the tail.
Be impolite. In society they do not like ignoramuses, and the elementary “hello” and “goodbye” should know each child regardless of age.
Take someone else's. In any case, without demand. The same applies to the moment when they give things, but he does not share his own. Explain that this cannot be done and everyone should share.
Violate moral standards. They are all different for everyone, but there are general rules of conduct in society that the child should know.
Expose yourself. Here you can list a lot of things, for example, do not run out onto the road, poke your fingers into the outlet. In other words, everything that can harm health.

All these prohibitions allow you to adapt in society and become part of it.

That parents should not forbid their child?

There are some things that fall under parental prohibitions, but it is better to leave them as it is and allow the child to continue to do them. That parents should not forbid their child?

Psychologists give the following recommendations about this:

Expression of emotions. It doesn’t matter, screams, a child, cries or laughs loudly. Often emotions are accompanied by running around the apartment, jumping and screech. Do not forbid this to the child, even if you are very tired. He has the right to express his emotions and be open.
Errors. We are all mistaken and children including. They still learn everything and not allowing to make a mistake, parents deprive the child of the opportunity to correct it. Some even correct everything themselves. So this is by no means impossible to do this, because then the child simply will not understand anything and will not figure it out.
Questions. Children always ask a lot of questions, and some are even too much. In any case, never brush yourself and do not plug your mouth. Try to answer any question. If you do not know the answer, then the Internet is to help you. For a minute you can find any information.

Fear. Often, parents with irony relate to the fears of their children and even shame. You can’t do this in any case. You must explain to the child why you should not be afraid and support him, and not push him away.
Secrets. The child should also have his own personal space, and therefore let him have secrets. Your control will not disappear in any way, it will simply be within the framework of a reasonable one.
Own opinion and refusal. Children have the right to abandon something. Moreover, for any reason, one must give the opportunity to express your opinion. Maybe you know how better, but give your child more freedom so that he understands that you respect him and reckon with him.

How to prohibit something to a child: a psychologist's advice

How to prohibit something to a child? So that the child does not ignore parental prohibitions, but perceive, it is important to adhere to several rules:

Argument. Be sure to explain why you are prohibited. The answer simply because you said so or because you can’t work here. You must clearly explain why you do this and what can be if the child does not obey.
Objectivity. Everything is not necessary to prohibit everything. Give the child freedom, let him be mistaken. So he himself will understand why something cannot be done, because he will already face the consequences.
Irongation. If the ban is categorical, then there should not be any messages. If you cannot run out of the road, then it should always be.
The ban should support everything. If mom prohibits, then dad should also not make concessions. The fact is that then the ban will not be perceived by the child, and the authority of the prohibition will be undermined.
Parents should always look adequate in the eyes of children. If you look like a tyranny, then the prohibitions will not be perceived. So carefully approach the issue of prohibitions and you do not have to put pressure on the child to achieve something.

You must understand that the ban does not solve all problems. This is a means for the safe adaptation of the child, and not the desire to do the way you need. Use it carefully.

What parental prohibitions are the most destructive for a child, a teenager: rating, list

There will be nothing good for the child, if we raise him in permissiveness and everyone understands this. Yes, children need to ban some things. Only sometimes parental prohibitions are destructive for the child. We present to your attention the three worst prohibitions that will affect the future of the child.

The ban on dress yourself, choose your clothes

There are several options for such a ban. The very first - parents forbid the child to wear what he wants. It is usually easier to cook clothes in advance so that in the morning not to lose time for fees in the kindergarten. It happens that it is difficult to force a teenager to wear certain things.

Or parents agree with the child in the evening, more precisely, crush the authority that he will wear it in the morning. And he suddenly changed his mind and decided to put on something else. As a result, mom begins to get nervous and swear. The conflict begins.

For children, this is also considered destructive, because when forming a wardrobe constantly for them, parents force them to depend on someone else's opinion.

Moreover, such a ban indirectly prohibits creativity. The child has unnecessary framework and he has no freedom of choice. For example, this applies to the color of the wardrobe. As children grow up, tastes change and if at three years the pink looks beautiful, then at sixteen black - this is stylish. No adult can say in advance who the child will grow up, and with such moments they forbid him to express himself.

Another moment is not even in clothes, but in the confidence of the child in himself. Even if he will wear the most fashionable things in the future, he will not feel confidence.

The ban on your own opinion - what does this mean?

This is the second destructive ban. Of course, it is convenient for us when the child thinks like us. But only this approach is wrong. The child must have an opinion so that he develops critical thinking.

It means to study the world to study and analyze it adequately. This is inconvenient when the child stands on his own. And so it will always be. It should not be convenient. A separate person should grow in the family with their thoughts and views, and not like the parents.

The ban on being yourself - what does it mean?

Children are often pulled when they run, talk a lot or slowly speak. This is not always done consciously, but this is how the personality of a small person is destroyed.

Maybe a too noisy child will become an actor and he will need a voice in the future. People are all different. Someone is fast, but someone is not. Everyone has their own speed. Well, if you scold for what is, then self -confidence is lost.

If the child’s qualities are directed in the right direction, then he will be able to realize himself and achieve large heights in life.

Never intervene in the future of the child, do not take away from him with your prohibitions. The baby must be loved as he is and do not try to do well for yourself, forbiding everything and everything. You must create conditions for harmonious development and self -expression.

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