Home tyranny, unfortunately, the phenomenon is not at all rare. Let's find out what to do if you live with your husband Tiran?
Content
Among the many prosperous families are married couples, in which a woman forcedly suffers a tyrant's husband. Psychological violence is in no way inferior to physical mockery. Home tyranny negatively affects the psyche of all family members.
Children who are brought up in such a family constantly suffer from nervous disorders. But the worst thing is that they transfer the model of relationships between parents to their future family.
Husband is a tyrant: how to recognize his personality?
A woman must find the strength to change the situation. You can not tolerate humiliation and adapt to unbearable circumstances. From the humility of his wife in front of her husband Tiran, the situation is only complicated.
If you feel the strength to influence your husband, then you will have to be patient and make a lot of effort. Otherwise, the only right decision is to leave the spouse and start living again. Because everyone is worthy of love and respect.
If it is difficult for you to characterize your husband’s behavior, and you are not fully sure that you married a tyrant, then try to identify the characteristic signs of tyranny:
- The solution of family issues always remains with her husband. The opposite opinion of the wife is never taken into account. He considers himself the head of the family and requires unquestioning subordination.
- It shifts you to blame for your own failures. Never recognizes his mistakes. In all problems you find yourself in the extreme
- The husband of the tyrant always imposes a certain line of behavior to you. He considers it appropriate to adjust your style, up to makeup and hairstyles. Crites any conscious choice. A negative assessment of all your actions leads to low self -esteem and uncertainty.
- It prevents your communication with friends, colleagues, relatives. Criticizes their lifestyle. Trying to prove that you have nothing to do with them. Gradually, your circle of communication is narrowing, and you are forced to devote yourself to your husband to Tiran.
- Does not support your growth in professional activities. Prefers to see you as a housewife.
- Criticizes your methods of raising children. He blames you with all household troubles. Openly shows rudeness and disrespect
- Controls your calls and correspondence. Limits any pastime outside the house. It shows groundless jealousy
- The resolution of conflicts is accompanied by physical violence. At the same time, the husband does not try to justify himself or ask for forgiveness.
Family psychologists recommend thinking if there is at least one sign of your husband. Do not wait for the husband to meet all of the above criteria. Perhaps your family relationships can still be saved. The tips of the psychologist will help you correct the first manifestations of tyranny.
How to influence the husband of a tyrant?
First you need to make the only right decision for yourself - either you get divorced, or try to correct the current situation.
If the husband of the tyrant shows cruelty and requires unquestioning subordination, then most likely you will not be able to influence his beliefs and lifestyle. If the spouse is changeable in his manner of behavior, is irritated by trifles and cannot clearly formulate his desires, then in your power to establish relationships and save the family.
Psychologists divide the behavior of a tyrant’s husband into two varieties:
- A man who could not be realized as a person. Not having professional and creative achievements. To feel his need and importance, he tries to take a leading and authoritative position in the family. Criticizing and managing others, he receives self -satisfaction from his actions.
- Men from dysfunctional families. An adult transfers children's complexes and resentment from others to his loved ones. In order not to once again take the position of a loser, the man chooses the role of the offender. Such husbands Tirans demonstrate their aggression in the presence of friends and relatives. In the position of the striker, a man does not feel infringed.
In order to try to re -educate the husband of a tyrant, use the advice of a psychologist:
- During a conversation in high colors, keep your self -control. Do not show your fear and do not get away from the answers. If masculine pressure breaks you, then each time the situation will be more intense.
- If the husband of the tyrant requires your participation contrary to your employment, then you should not put an ultimatum to him. Try to find words so that he learns to respect and value your time.
- Do not let your husband lead his wardrobe and limit your circle of communication. Try to find compromises. For example, get several things that he likes. Do not meet your friends at the day of the day.
- Do not take out family troubles for public display. Do not humiliate your husband in the presence of others. Any tactlessness will become a reason for clarifying relationships.
- Do not give a reason for jealousy. During a period of long absence, do not forget to call your husband and unobtrusively introduce him to the course of events.
- Always be interested in the desires and opinion of your husband. Show how important his point of view is for you. Find time for interesting conversations. Thus, you can compensate the man with the lack of attention.
If your husband corresponds to all the above signs of a tyrant, then the following tips of the psychologist should be applied:
- Become a financially independent person. Your professional growth, personal achievements and financial well -being will cause respect.
- Do not sacrifice pastime with loved ones and friends. If you respect your relatives, then Tiran’s husband will have a positive attitude towards them.
- Do not let you put you before the choice and manipulate your actions. Do not give up your intentions because of unjustified threats.
- Do not forgive physical violence and insults. The husband must be responsible for each of his misconduct. Otherwise, such a situation will be repeated repeatedly.
- Do not be afraid to lose the husband of Tiran. And you and your children will be better off living alone than in constant fear.
- Do not amuse yourself in vain illusions. Really assess the situation and behavior of your husband. All promises that he will be corrected must be confirmed by real actions.
Do not give up your hands and do not lose hope. Learn to be stronger and independent. Your life should only depend on you. Do not let yourself be mocking yourself and is useless to waste your time. You can not maintain your family at the cost of your health. Do not deprive your children's peace of mind.
How to get rid of a tyrant from the husband?
It is very difficult for many women to influence the family situation and decide to withdraw a tyrant from the husband. Tyrania, which lasts years, gradually becomes a habit and becomes the norm. With systematic humiliation, a woman’s self -esteem decreases.
In some situations, women subconsciously arrange the role of the victim. She is not ready to take responsibility for the family and solve current problems. In this case, for a woman, the most important thing is reconciliation. The fact of humiliation and insults does not care. In this case, it is necessary to work on yourself. Sign up for an appointment with a psychologist.
Sometimes it’s hard to leave due to a number of reasons-small children, the lack of earnings and another place of residence. In such cases, it is necessary to set a goal and take confident steps in this direction.
To make it easier for you to decide to leave the husband of a tyrant, use the advice of a psychologist:
- Tune in morally to the upcoming changes. You must follow a clearly built plan and not give the opportunity to influence your decision. Think about the backup plan in the event of your failures. The financial stock will give you confidence.
- Devote a loved one into your intentions. Support for relatives will not let you change your mind. Use the help of social psychological services. Find out the details of the divorce proceedings, division of property and guardianship on children. You must clearly know your rights and be able to use them.
- When applying bodily injuries, contact the police for help. Fix the fact of violence and enlist the help of the relevant organs. If the husband begins to threaten or blackmail you, then try to fix such manifestations using witnesses or audio recordings.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help. Face and a sense of shame are inappropriate here. Having your problems will hide you. At a critical moment, at least seek help from the neighbors
- Plan your departure for the period of the absence of a husband of tyrant. This will allow you to avoid his aggression and unnecessary persuasion. The lack of unnecessary emotional bursts will help you preserve a sober mind.
Do not postpone your departure from Tiran’s husband for decades. Do not come up with excuses and excuses. Make a decision once and open up new opportunities for yourself. Psychological violence has not brought happiness to anyone.