How to make peace with his wife after a quarrel: a psychologist's advice, actions options

In our article you will find advice from psychologists on how to behave to a man after a quarrel with his wife.

Quarrels and conflicts, unfortunately, are an integral part of family life. But what to do if the tension between the spouses is constantly present, and the couple does not know how to get out of a closed circle of grievances? Since women are more sensitive in nature and bear the greater burden of responsibility for family life, accumulated negative emotions become the cause of cooling, and then can lead to a break in relations.

How to make peace after an ordinary quarrel?

Men should more carefully analyze their own behavior, especially if you really know that you undeservedly offended your wife. To reconcile, admit your guilt and ask for forgiveness is not a weakness, but the position of a mature person responsible for his own actions. Sometimes the problem of the stronger sex can be the inability to take the first step, and instead of correcting the situation, a new scandal is provoked. How to make peace after an ordinary quarrel?

Paise

• You understand that they are to blame for the conflict and want to take the first step to reconcile with your wife. To get started, take a timeout.
• Both partners need some time to calm the emotional surge. It is better to say about this openly and calmly: “Let's not continue the quarrel”, “I was wrong, it is better to calm down and discuss everything later”.

Think about the situation

• Left alone with yourself, it is necessary to analyze the quarrel - why it arose. Some men apologize to their wife “on the machine”, without experiencing special regrets.
• The main advice at this stage can be considered the rule: do not lie to yourself and answer a simple question - what is the true cause of what happened (gross words, outbreaks of anger, excess alcohol).
• Sometimes such an analysis can lead to the most unexpected conclusions, and the reason for its own behavior seems deeper than a banal trip with friends to the bar. If you came to such conclusions, do not ask for forgiveness only for misconduct, but try to discuss the main problem in your relationship.

Find the necessary words for reconciliation

• During the conversation, it is important to give her wife to speak out, listen to her position and try to find a compromise. Many women are lacking in marriage.
• If in a quarrel you offended your wife with words, ask for forgiveness for incontinence and say that offensive phrases were only an expression of anger and negative emotions. Show patience and judgment.
• Most of all, a woman appreciates peace and reliability in a man, try to show these qualities in family life.

If the wife does not want to talk after a quarrel: a psychologist's advice

Sometimes resentment is strong enough, and the accumulated misunderstanding between the spouses leads to the desire to close in themselves. This is especially true for couples in which sincere conversations are not accepted, and each partners are not used to sharing their experiences.

If you do not want a breakup and still love your soul mate, try to find a way to express your feelings, even if your wife does not want to talk:

• Write a letter - Yes, it sounds a little old -fashioned, but in most cases it will help you correctly express everything that is sometimes difficult to say in the conversation. Let this message be as sincere as possible - try to find all the best that is in your life and tell us what you would like to change so as not to lose it.
• Make a gift - This should in no case be a standard “broom” of flowers, even the most expensive. Remember what brings joy to your spouse-there may be some kind of hobby or what will remind her of a happy event in your life.
• Show care- Prepare breakfast, make lessons with children, invite the whole family for a walk or to the entertainment park, organize a picnic in nature in your favorite place.

All this helps to understand that you are not indifferent to the resentment of your spouse and you are making efforts to rectify the situation, spend more time with your family.

What to do after a serious quarrel?

If the cause of the conflict is not a banal household problem, but treason, humiliation, betrayal? In such a situation, it seems to spouses that it is much easier to break off relations than trying to restore them.

Life sometimes consists of very difficult solutions. It is impossible to advise spouses to try to save a marriage or not to do this - any union exists, first of all, on the trust of partners. Therefore, the choice in this situation will be very difficult.

What to do after a serious quarrel:

• Anyway you need to start with a calm conversation “Try to hear you.”
• Sincere recognition - Do not jail, do not try to get out and take off your guilt. Honesty and openness can help voice their position. Yes, you are to blame, regret what happened and do everything possible to preserve the marriage.
• Accept her desire to leave. Paradoxically, but a man needs to recognize the right of a woman to free herself from a relationship if there is a serious reason for this. Thus, stress is removed, each of the partners has the opportunity to think about the situation without the need to live in a constant conflict, and then make a final decision.
• Do not attract the third side. In an attempt to establish a relationship, the temptation often appears to use the “help of a friend”. This is a wrong step, regardless of whether a friend is a relative or your parents. Such a participation will not bring benefits, but will only create an additional irritating factor, taking out the “CRU from the hut”.
• The biggest mistake is an attempt to influence the spouse through children. Children of any age, observing the conflict of parents, are already in severe stress, because they feel fear and uncertainty. Therefore, in no case should you manipulate children's feelings, using them for pressure or pity.
• Return of trust - In fact, this is a very difficult stage. It should be understood that it will take a lot of time and effort so that the spouse again believes in your feelings. Drop the negative destructive emotions - resentment, disappointment, pain. Try to restore only positive moments in memory and, based on them, again begin to build a relationship.
• Prove that you are the best manwhom she once chose. The basis of trust and strong relationships is the woman’s belief that a reliable man is next to her. Persuasion, requests, manipulations will not help return this feeling. Certain actions are needed here - the adoption of responsibility, the necessary assistance and support in any matters, patience and understanding.
• The second honeymoon. Show sensitivity, charm, complaisance. Attention, compliments, gifts, household assistance, romantic dinners and dates will help restore the previous proximity. Of course, these are only the external manifestations of your remorse. The most important thing is that it is sincere.

Tips - how to avoid quarrels?

• Control of emotions - The best ally of a long happy relationship. Try to never cause pain to your loved one - if you point to your spouse at every quarrel, humiliate her, constantly remember the previous insults - do not expect warm feelings in response.
• At the moment when it seems to you that the wife is wrong, do not rush to start a dispute - stop mentally, read to 10 And ask yourself: “Do I want to be in conflict? Is there a serious reason for a quarrel? ” In anger and irritation, you can say many offensive words, it is better to try to avoid this.
• Do not try to hide all problems. If there is, indeed, something important that bothers you in a relationship, find the opportunity to calmly discuss everything, without bringing to the accumulation of negative emotions and an inevitable explosion.
• Do not devalue your wife's work.It seems to many men that if a woman does not work, she has a lot of free time and there are no worries. Learn to show elementary gratitude for raising children, order and comfort in the house, tasty food and clean clothes.
• Never compare your wife with your friends or relatives. Every woman knows her price, and sometimes even a slight comparison, it may be unpleasant. Live only with your life and try to make it better.

Video: How to make peace with his wife after a strong quarrel?

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