How to teach a child a word cannot be?

The article reveals the principles of teaching a child to the word “impossible”, contains an algorithm of actions to form a correct ban, indicates an age at which it is better to accustom to this word.

Sooner or later, in the life of young parents, a period occurs when their child goes into the phase of active research and begins to know the world around him, without missing anything that comes across the way.

Parents who naturally worry about the safety of their crumbs first pronounce the word "impossible." How to do it right so that the child understands you, and what to do if the baby ignores your words?

When a child begins to understand the word?

A child can truly perceive the ban only after a year. But the need for limiting his actions often arises long before that. For example, with the advent of teeth, the child can bite his mother by the chest, or sitting on the knees of an adult, can pull the tablecloth on the table, and when he perfectly masters crawling, he will begin to check the house for strength.
You can try to tell him that this cannot be done, threaten a finger and do a harsh face, the baby will feel that you are angry, but is unlikely to fully realize what this means.

Important: at the age of up to a year, the most effective way to stop the unwanted behavior of the child is to switch his attention to a more interesting lesson.

In addition, most cases when you have a desire to say “no”, “you can’t” or “do not do this” can be prevented by securing the space in which the child is located: put the plugs on the sockets, hide the crystal vases, remove dangerous things from lower shelves, rearrange pots with flowers higher.

How to teach a child you can not understand the word?

The establishment of borders is an important component of the child’s accustoming to discipline. Most children are prone to order and love rules. This is their way of protecting against a terrible incomprehensible big world.
Very often, parents pronounce the word “impossible” by inertia, at a subconscious level, when a child:

• it is in danger
• can harm the health of another child or adult
• is doing something that is inconvenient, dislike, interferes with adults

If in the first two cases the prohibitions are justified, then in the third parents sometimes use their superiority and excessively limit the child, which can adversely affect his development.

Read more about this in the article The word cannot be children. Does the child need to say the word "impossible"?

It is necessary to say no correctly, be sure to analyze the essence of the ban. The basic principles of teaching the baby to the word "cannot":

• Act together
  The family should have a clear agreement that if one family member prohibits something to the baby, the other necessarily supports his opinion with the child. If there is disagreement, adults should express it alone with each other. The child must understand that if he was told “no”, then this is a rule that cannot be changed by other adults

• Do not prohibit often
  It is necessary to say “one” only in the case, in cases where the actions of the child pose a real danger to him or others. Otherwise, if you often prohibit what the child shows interest in, the baby will decide that everything cannot be reacted, even when it will threaten his health
• Be consistent
  If the ban has sounded, it is not subject to change, neither the reaction of the child, nor the reaction of others, nor the place, nor time should affect it. In other words, if something is impossible on a regular day, then do not make exceptions on the holiday, or if it is impossible at home, then you can’t visit, store, etc.
• Express love
  The child must understand that if something is prohibited, does not mean that they do not like
• Speak like
  Explain to the child why it is impossible to do this or that, and also speak with him if he did not react to your words the first time you need as you would like to communicate with you. Put yourself in the place of the baby and select the necessary words

• Show hardness
  Try that your voice is firm and unshakable. The baby must notice a change in the intonation of the voice and seriously perceive what you are telling him
• Explain
  It’s not enough just to say no, you must definitely explain why you prohibit anything. Otherwise, the child will think that you cannot do this in your presence, because You do not like it or you are angry, but you will try to repeat the attempt when it remains alone with yourself. It is important that the child really understand why it is impossible
• Offer an alternative
  The ban will be perceived easier if the baby is offered another lesson, another toy or a promise to give him what he wants later, etc. Just be sure to fulfill your promises. Children remember such things better than adults. Perhaps the child will quickly switch attention and will not resist the prohibition, which will help to avoid unnecessary conflict
• Cognitive requirements
  Formulate your rules understandable for the child, use simple words. For example: “Do not touch, it will be hot” or “You can’t hurt your mother.”

How to explain the word to the child?

If the child intends to do something unreasonable, do not rush to scream from afar “impossible”. The algorithm of your actions should be as follows:

1. Go to the child
2. Take it from danger or take the prohibition subject
3. Look into the baby's eyes and firmly, but do not loudly say "you can't"
4. Explain the reason for the ban
5. Offer an alternative

For example, the child reaches for a hot mug on the table. You should carefully remove the baby’s hand from a hot object, take a mug in your hand and show it to the child, explain that it contains a hot drink that can bring pain.

As an option, you can attach a child’s finger to a mug for a couple of seconds so that he checks the truth of your words on his own experience. Then invite him to play, for example, with another mug (plastic and empty).

What to do if the child does not respond to a word?

Check if you are missing any of the principles of teaching the child’s teaching the word “impossible”.
Perhaps you demand perfect obedience to the child too early. It is quite normal that the baby will not immediately begin to show the reaction that you expect.

From 9 months of age, children begin to express their opinion and are trying to find the boundaries of permissiveness.

In addition, the child has tremendous power by the will, without which he could not achieve such success in the first years. Therefore, in order to establish the rules and ensure that the child should follow them, you need to gain patience, repeat the same ban again and again until the child learn it.

In the absence of a child’s reaction to your words should not be:

• beat him
  The hands and mouth of the baby are the most important research tools, you should not beat off the baby's desire to know the world around him
• scream
  The child will better understand what you want to convey to him if your voice is calm and balanced

What to do if the child does not understand the word in a year?

Despite the fact that most children, starting from 7-8 months, intuitively understand when you are angry and forbid them something, they cannot fully adequately respond to restriction and realize what they want from them.

Therefore, if a one -year -old child is in no hurry to follow your instructions, this is a normal reaction. The period from year to three years is the ideal time to lay the foundations of the child’s discipline. Use this time to explain to your child what is possible and what is impossible.

What to do if a child does not understand the word at 2 years old?

• Most likely, the baby understands what you mean when you say “you can’t”, he just does not want to follow this prohibition, considers it unreasonable and sees that nothing happens if he violates him
• The reason for this reaction often lies in the incorrect behavior of parents, which at first prohibit, and then, if the child cries strongly, allowed, or mother forbids, and grandmother stealthily allows. Perhaps you use the word "no" too often, and the baby stopped perceiving it
• Be consistent and patient, correct the mistakes that have made, do not encourage impermissible behavior, and after a while the child will reconcile with the rules

How to teach a child a word cannot be? Komarovsky

An experienced pediatrician E. Komarovsky identifies three rules regarding the word “impossible”:

1. The cries of the child should not change the decisions of the parent who said "cannot
2. You should not allow situations when dad says no, and mom - “yes”
3. “No” - this is always “no”, i.e. It should not be today, but tomorrow you can already

• In addition, the pediatrician supports the opinion that in order for the child to learn the word “not” and perceive him adequately, there should not be many prohibitions. “No” from the mouth of the parents should rarely sound, but to be performed by the child implicitly. In other words, the baby should see in this word a real threat
• The doctor advises the child to start teaching a child as soon as possible (when the child is still crawling), while most parents begin to pay serious attention to the child’s disobedience only at 4-5 years old
• Thus, in order to teach the child the word “impossible”, to achieve a true understanding of the word from him and develop the corresponding reaction, you need to pay due attention to this, follow certain principles and be persistent

Video: Naughty child - School of Dr. Komarovsky