What is a crisis in a relationship? Why does a crisis arise in a relationship: causes, signs. How long does the crisis last in a relationship?

In this article we will find out when crises arise in relationships how to recognize them and how to overcome them.

Content

The crisis in relationships is a rather relevant topic. He makes people look at their relationship differently. At the same time, someone withstands and everything is getting better, and some couples diverge. Over the years of communication between people, they become others. They become closer to each other, learn more. This happens because people never freeze at one point, and all the time move forward. Even in the most ideal relationships are crisis periods. It will not work without them. Let's find out what these same crises are and how they can be overcome.

What is a crisis in a relationship?

In simple words, the crisis in a relationship is any discomfort that lasts long enough. Sometimes it passes unnoticed in pairs and then they say that they just began to spend a little less time on each other. Perhaps they were just covered by life. And there is another extreme of the crisis, when people are constantly unhappy, swear, break into the break and end with all reconciliation. However, most often crises take place in an average version. People may not sort things out very violently, but swear. They look differently at their partner and try either to re -educate him, or accept what is. Both are very difficult.

When are there crises in a relationship?

There are a lot of reasons why a crisis arises in a relationship. Let's talk about the main ones.

After the wedding. Some people think that having married their partner, the relationship will not change in any way. In fact, this is not so. Yes, for some time everything will be as before, but then the partners begin to change their views on the relationship and notice that everything is already not so. Romance is gradually fading into the background, and it is replaced by everyday life. Not all spouses can accept this. And even if before marriage the couple already lived together, the views are still changing. At the same time, not all partners marry, being ready for this. So, they can assume that they have lost freedom, that they will put pressure on them.
The appearance of a child. Most pairs dream that they will have a child. But not everyone understands the whole seriousness of the situation. This is especially true for those who have the first child. The fact is that usually young people do not know how to care for children and with their appearance they are lost. This makes us nervous, and even if the baby is restless, then this becomes doubly more complicated.
Betrayal. Not everyone is able to forgive treason. Even when a person does not want to lose a relationship and agrees to continue them, he can constantly think about it internally. Hence scandals, difficulties with communication. As a result, this leads to the development of a crisis, which is extremely difficult to overcome.

Why does a crisis arise in a relationship: reasons

When a crisis arises in a relationship, this applies not only to how many people lived together. There are certain reasons for that. They are as follows:

Lack of money. According to psychologists, quarrels appear in relations when one spouse has a certain calculation, that is, he lives with another not for love, but because of money. Or a person has high expectations for the second. Nevertheless, it is difficult to maintain harmonious relations when there are not enough funds to satisfy even the main needs, for example, food or payment of utilities. It is good if the problem is temporary, but completely different if the situation lasts a long time.
Lack of time for yourself. When work and family obligations occupy almost all the time and there is no time for themselves, for example, to relax with friends, to take care of themselves and so on, this ultimately leads to the development of chronic fatigue and a great conflict.
Ordinary. When people marry, they are sure that their relationship will be the same light. However, gradually the fuse becomes smaller. Of course, some partners are able to maintain romance, but there are very few of them.
Life. Often families break up just because they are not able to distribute household duties or simply ignore them. Often one spouse takes a lot and, of course, cannot “drag” everything on himself. This becomes the cause of nervous breakdowns and problems begin in the relationship. Some people simply ignore their duties, which the second half does not like.

How to understand - crisis in a relationship or end: signs

Sometimes some people perceive problems as a crisis in a relationship. However, they must be able to distinguish. Perhaps the relationship has already faded and it's time to part.

So, if a temporary crisis has come in your relationship, then it can be recognized by the following signs:

There is no passion. If there is no more passion in your relationship, then this indicates a crisis. Of course, when you used to have proximity every day, and now it is happening, for example, once a week, this is quite normal. People get tired, they have problems. And hormones also cease to be produced in the same quantity as before. That's just when a decrease in their level occurs, people cool a little. However, everything can be returned, the main thing is that both want it. So not everything is lost yet.
The desire to retire. Not every person is ready to spend time with his partner for days. In any case, some personal space and rest are required. Accordingly, if this very space is absent, then tension begins to increase in a relationship. Basically, in order to solve such a problem, it is enough to give a partner a couple of days so that he can spend time without the second. Then he will relax and calm down. In general, in order not to bring to this, it is advisable to always give time for your personal affairs, and not to force him to spend with you.
Rare quarrels. When the spouses sometimes quarrel, then there is nothing wrong with that. Even if they do this often, such a phenomenon may not be critical, perhaps for these people this format of relations is more suitable. The main thing is that the desire to make peace does not disappear. You can talk about problems when, after another quarrel, a desire appears to finish it once and for all, and there is also emptiness.
Disputes. When two strong people enter the relationship, then at first they are a little adapt to each other and are inferior in something. However, over the years, people begin to "pull the blanket" on themselves. From here there are disputes that can last a very long time. As a rule, one such dispute continues until one of the spouses surrenders.

If the relationship has come to an end, then somewhat different signs will say about this:

Lack of sex. When there is no proximity in the relationship, this indicates a imminent gap. Especially if a partner is disgusted with a person. Coexistence in a couple is not a sentence, but the lack of desire or even disgust is already saying a lot.
The same type of quarrels. If you constantly swear the same way, and the claims presented are the same, then the relationship has outlived yourself. Another sign when a person generalizes the situation with the words “always” or “never”. Since a person constantly does something wrong, then he is like that. Surely, you yourself already know how attempts to change a person end in.
Lack of plans for the future. If you no longer have any general plans, then the joint future is also in question. Think, maybe you do not want to admit what is clear.

Despite the fact that the difficulties of love can be similar, the relationship in any case is unique in every pair. So, it is uniqueness that can look like a crisis, but people can be happy.

What are the crises in relations before marriage?

You may be surprised, but psychologists believe that from the very beginning of the relationship, in addition to mutual love, people have a lot of disagreements. The difference between views, tastes and so on, all this experiences. And here it is important to recognize the crisis in the relationship, as well as soberly look at the relations that have begun.

If everything suits a person and he is close spiritually with his chosen one, then he can give in and ask for the same person. If the feelings are real, then it may be worth trying to develop them. If more than six months have passed, but the relationship is oppressed, then it is better to stop them.

How does the crisis of marital relations manifest by years manifest?

It is important to understand that a crisis in a relationship is a normal situation. At the same time, it is repeated with some frequency. In order to correctly respond to the situation, you need to know what the main milestones are important for relationships. Inside the couple, crises may differ in severity. Psychologists, as a rule, share crises by year.

So, let's analyze how the division is carried out:

Crisis of one year in a relationship

This crisis differs in that many couples are not used to conflicts until this moment and here they suddenly arise, and out of the blue. In fact, this suggests that people are getting closer to each other. They learn a lot about their partner, new views and habits open. You always have to look for compromises, if something does not suit, or to concede without any “but”. In this case, the union undergoes the first check. If it is not passed, then there is no point in developing relationships further. It is in this crisis that it is necessary to understand how important it is to work on yourself and your relationship.

Crisis of three to five years in a relationship

By this time, partners are already adapting to each other, learn to solve problems together and understand that only love experiences are not limited to love experiences. At the same time, romance and pleasant experiences from marriage are already passing. Now everyday life and everyday life are beginning, and the routine also comes. During this period, the formation of a kinship begins. Most couples are already giving birth to children by this moment. So, parents have to get used to the new lifestyle and the status of parents, which is accompanied by sleepless nights and attempts to find for themselves at least a little time.

The main feature of this crisis is that the good knowledge of his partner no longer seems interesting, because two can already read each other without words. The partner becomes predictable and that secret that was so interesting is already lost in him. And at this moment it may turn out that it is not so fun with him.

Of course, in a relationship it is not enough just to look at each other in love. If people have nothing in common, then they begin to realize themselves alone, for example, devoting the free time of a hobby, or looking for meetings with like -minded people. From this, jealousy appears in the couple. It's not even about intimacy that a person suddenly finds someone, namely in a mental plane.

Crisis 7 years in relations

If the couple is experiencing a crisis of five years, then all misunderstandings of the past are replaced by deep affection and partners already accept each other as they are. But this in the best case happens that people decide to maintain relationships, and “hide” all the problems and not discuss. That is, they prefer to stay together. The reason may be a community of views or even calculation. In addition, partners can understand that they have become too close to each other.

Most families have already possessed their own housing by this moment, they have been established everyday life and duties are divided. In addition, they already get used to being parents. That is, everything is going on a bent. Some scares such stability. For example, a woman might think that this is the end of the former love, but the man in her will no longer see the former seducer. He just becomes comfortable and familiar to him to live with her, and he no longer pulls on madness. Often, women in this case creep in thoughts that the husband could find someone on the side.

Another feature of the crisis is that a man begins to worry about the fact that his wife has become completely different, or he does not live up to her expectations. In fact, both partners think that they can lose an important role in the life of another. Moreover, if before that both were very immersed in household problems and did not think about anything, now the assessment of success begins. A man needs more freedom, he begins to miss independence. Simply, then both partners value the family, but at the same time they do not want to completely dissolve in it. They begin to think that they have already done a lot so.

Relations crisis 12-15 years old

Psychologists believe that this crisis is especially critical. It affects the whole further life. If the family has children, then the crisis is just associated with transitional age. If problems begin with the child, then one partner tries to transfer the blame for upbringing on another.

Sometimes parents are so immersed in the problems of children that they completely forget about themselves. Often a middle -aged crisis is still added here. At this age, people already understand that they have passed a lot and overcame. They have already learned to appreciate what they have. However, at the same time, they are no longer ready to put up with the shortcomings of a person, as it was before. The crisis differs in that the partners are as if on the “swing” - they either come closer or move away from each other. When the couple is already close to overcome the crisis, all this becomes less noticeable and returns to the usual direction.

Relations crisis 20 years of marriage

Psychologists call this crisis the latter. It gradually manifests everything that has become a “foundation” for the emergence of crises in the past. This is a rather dangerous time and now the results are summed up. A person analyzes the past and takes into account all the shortcomings, mistakes and discontent. Children at this time already live separately, so spouses have to live again for themselves. They are gradually returning to the relationship that they had in their youth. And this is normal when you begin to think about whether you chose the right person.

When the case is quite complicated, one of the spouses captures the desire to quit everything and start again. Moreover, as statistics show, in this case, one person tries to protect the second from errors. Perhaps he will succeed, or maybe not. It is difficult to give some forecasts here. As a rule, when the partner begins to rush about, he does not even need changes themselves, but support and confidence that he made a choice correctly and lived not in vain all these years.

How to deal with a crisis in family relationships: recommendations, tips

How to overcome a crisis in a relationship?

Everyone has a crisis in a relationship, and this is a normal phenomenon. It is important to understand what can be done to survive it with the least losses and keep feelings.

So there are several recommendations:

Come up with general rituals. This will help you become closer to each other. Be sure to follow them. This will create a feeling of stability, which is lost during conflicts. For example, sign up for a gym or go to the courses, in the end, just prepare dinner or watch a movie. Most importantly, make this ritual daily and always perform it. It is possible not every day, but regularly. You should have time for each other.
Talk about the future. It often happens when couples do not think about the future at all, because they are too busy with current problems. In any case, even if so, you still need to talk about plans that you would like to implement. This will understand that all troubles will end sooner or later.
Support each other. If conflicts occur, for example, due to the failure of the husband, then do not just regret him. The task of the wife is to support. Even if he is not confident in himself because of the problems at work or you now have financial difficulties, in any case show that he is dear to you. Always consider his opinion and do not be afraid to ask for help. This will not undermine his self -confidence even more.
Intimate relationships. When a crisis begins in the family, she, as a rule, thinks about problems and forgets about intima. Even if you think that there is no desire to have sex, you still should not abandon this side of life. First of all, this will not acquire additional problems.

Of course, not a single pair wants to go through a crisis in a relationship. I want everything to be fine. As a rule, the spouses begin to doubt their choice and everyone sees completely differently than it was before. Just remember that this is not the case when you can rush to draw conclusions. During this period, it is important to be more patient and evaluate your own actions. Perhaps it was your behavior that prompted your spouse to actions that you do not like.

So be more patient, and you will be able to maintain harmony in relationships and overcome all difficulties. If this quality is fully shown in difficult times, then overcoming the crisis will turn out to be much easier, since actions that can cause additional problems will not be performed.

If you realize that quarrels often occur in your family, then you should not immediately fall into despair and accuse the partner in everything. Remember that any difficulties can be overcome. Do not rush to make radical decisions, so try to maintain shutter speed even in the most difficult moments.

How long does the crisis last in a relationship?

Many are interested in how long the crisis lasts in relations? In this case, it’s hard to say. Remember that it simply will not work to wait. In any case, the problems must be solved. If you stay with you, then this will eventually lead to deplorable results. They will accumulate and pour into a huge scandal, which can subsequently provoke a divorce.

Crisis of family relations: forum, reviews

When a crisis arises in a relationship, many begin to look for answers on the forums and look for advice on how to solve everything. Of course, a lot is said on this subject, because everyone is experiencing crises. Keep in mind that not always tips can help, moreover, any relationship is unique. So, before listening to someone else's advice, be sure to think about whether this will be to the detriment of your relationship.

Video: Crisis of Relations. Reasons and how to survive it

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