What is the danger of envy that is hiding behind this feeling? How does envy affect the person who envy?

Why do we envy how bad it is and how to deal with this feeling? Read more in our article.

Content

With a feeling of envy, for sure, every person is familiar. You lie down to yourself and others, if you say that you have never experienced envy towards any person. But if some people experience only easy annoyance and regret, comparing their successes with other people's achievements, then for others this state can become a predominant feeling, poisoning every day and preventing him from enjoying life.

What is envy?

Envy is a whole gamma of emotions associated with the perception and assessment of himself, and a comparison of his own value characteristics with what surrounds him.
You can feel envy of the material aspects of life, external data and even the spiritual qualities of people familiar to you.
At the same time, there is no division into “white” and “black” envy, as is commonly believed in society in order to somehow veil their own irritation from someone else's success and well-being.

Envy is always a negative emotional state when a person understands that he would like to have something belonging to another.

At the same time, first of all, personal self -esteem suffers, their own achievements are depreciated, a feeling of dissatisfaction with life comes.

Envy is a social phenomenon. As soon as the child begins to receive an assessment of his behavior and begins to compare the material world accessible to his understanding with his desires, he begins to experience a feeling of envy.
In fact, this is absolutely normal and natural - the formation of personality and spiritual qualities of a person cannot occur without awareness of various aspects of social relationships, including social inequality.
In early childhood, the child, forming the concepts of “good-bad”, can only focus on the model of behavior of adult family members. It is on the parents that the child’s perception will depend on the development of personal self -esteem and the reaction to comparing their own successes with the achievements of peers.

What is the danger of envy?

Constant envy has a deep destructive effect on the human psyche, its appearance and health. A feeling of envy can be expressed by a whole complex of internal experiences:

anxiety;
feeling of dissatisfaction;
irritation;
anger;
arrogance;
closure;
aggression.

A person prone to envy can manifest himself in different ways in relations with others:

Devalvis, i.e. belittles other people's achievements, allowing himself humiliating characteristics or ridicule: « Of course, he bought a big jeep. With his weight, he needed trucksto".« Again she dressed up in a new dress. The model builds himself out of himself, but just a saleswoman». At the same time, a person painfully envies an expensive car or a beautiful figure, but in this way he tries to devalue the benefits that are not available to him.
Provokes others to experience such negative feelings - defiantly boasts of his own successes or purchases, flaunts himself, begs for praise or compliments, forcing others to feel awkward.
Considers himself in everything better than others - “An underestimated genius,” looks at others on, allows comments like “fools are always lucky”, is not able to objectively evaluate the own capabilities and qualities of other people.
Rejoices in the failures of others. Such feelings are considered ashamed, but many people, indeed, are satisfied with other people's failures. Thus, an envious person compensates for his own inertia, passivity, elevates himself over the "losers."

Such behavior does not carry positive energy in communication. Therefore, envious people are gradually losing friends, relatives begin to avoid them, colleagues to shy down. This, in turn, leads to new psychological crises, neurosis and depression.

Envy has negative and destructive energy

How does envy appear?

What is born from envy - here several main aspects can be distinguished.

Comparison

A feeling of envy arises when comparing itself with others. As already noted, the very first comparison child experiences in early childhood through perception of himself and an assessment of adults.
Many parents allow a constant comparison between brothers and sisters, put the child as an example of other children from a close environment. At the same time, the child is not yet able to determine what kind of criteria the comparison takes place, but experiences emotional stress, feeling the discontent of the parents, recognizes himself not “good”.
If the child does not receive the unconditional love of parents, but only the reaction to the fulfillment of certain requirements, he experiences a distrust of the world, does not expect joy from him, and he gets used to paying a certain “price”.
Adults, sometimes not noticing it themselves, underestimate the self -esteem of children with constant criticism, without sharing the concepts of “bad child” and “poor behavior of the child”. So gradually, along with the stages of growing up, the belief is formed that someone else is certainly better-smarter, more beautiful, happier or simply successful.

Incorrect self -esteem

Even comparing himself with others, a person can simply state the fact of the difference or experience strong negative emotions. For example, « my friend has a loving husband, and I still have no strong relationship». You can take this reality calmly, realizing that your happiness is still ahead, or experience irritation and annoyance regarding your girlfriend.
On the one hand, you begin to delve into yourself, experiencing a sense of inferiority, and on the other hand, you can assume that a friend has not deserved to be more successful, because she does not possess any special virtues, and life is simply unfair to you.

Denial of own significance

A self -sufficient integral personality is able to objectively perceive his own advantages and disadvantages, respecting the achievements and weakness of people around them.

A feeling of envy exposes the paradox of the human psyche. Penetrable to envy people often consider themselves much better and worthy of others, but at the same time they do not like and do not accept themselves. In fact, such a person experiences constant torment, believing that he is not underestimated, while he himself does not value and does not respect himself.

How does envy affect the one who is envious?

Can envy negatively affect the person who causes it? This question is quite complicated, since it affects not only the sphere of relations between people and mental reactions, but also concerns bioenergy issues.

It should be immediately noted that the person who is experienced by envy is not always “white and fluffy”. Sometimes the behavior of people is causing, a person himself is inclined to provoke others into envious glances. Someone compensates for their own complexes, someone loves a sense of superiority and is proud of them.

From the point of view of bioenergy, a sense of envy aimed at a person is primarily a stream of negative energy, which is able to harm health and well -being.
The best way to protect is to strengthen your own awareness in behavior with others and the definition of personal boundaries.
Try to adhere to only a close circle of communication, do not expose your life, show participation and help if you need you.

How to cope with a feeling of envy?

If you notice that you yourself are inclined to feel envy, do not leave this condition without attention - it will not lead to anything good. Try to figure it out.

Imagine what your behavior looks from the side when you feel envy. Such emotions are very strong and easily read by others. The envious person looks at the same time embittered and miserable.
Analyze what exactly you envy. The desire to get something valuable, like a friend or colleague, initially does not carry negative coloring. You can admit that a person worked hard and diligently in order to achieve certain successes or a high standard of living. Think about how you yourself need to change in order to achieve what you want.
If we are not talking about material values, but, for example, about external attractiveness?
In fact, there are no concepts of “beauty”. A person looks attractive, is in the spotlight thanks to the internal energy that he radiates. Of course, there are certain stereotypes - a slender figure, well -groomed appearance, beautiful clothes. But this is only a matter of certain efforts and formed habits in nutrition, daily routine and self -care.

Envying, a person focuses on the outside of the question, feeling the devastation and apathy inside.

Mental energy must be directed inside yourself to take care of your own well -being. You can find a “healthy grain” in a sense of envy - this is an awareness of their own needs and factors that impede their achievement.
Stop in self -digging, discard thoughts about the injustice of circumstances or senselessness of efforts. Any action aimed at personal development - spiritual or material will go for your good, even if you start with very small steps. Awareness of the problem is always an incentive to action. " If he succeeds, I will succeed».
Sometimes a person is inclined to confuse self -esteem with an assessment of others. It seems to him that if he is not rich and not successful, it is simply insignificant in the eyes of people. In fact, people see us as we manifest themselves. The advantage cannot be lost, because it consists in the strength of the spirit and the beauty of the soul, this is what each person develops independently and does not depend on the amount of money in the pocket.

In conclusion, I would like to say the following: modern life has lost, at first glance, spirituality, has become more material with exposing the slightest success and failures. But at the same time, the world around is opening a huge number of opportunities for personal development - training, spiritual growth, a business that you like is an independent choice of everyone. No one says that the path to success will be simple, but only you decide whether you will take the first step.