Often there is a situation that relations do not develop and we become a victim of circumstances. In this article we will figure out how to deal with this condition and successfully get out of it.
Content
Any relationship sooner or later can exhaust themselves. In one case, the couple can live for many years of a happy life, and in the other - to disperse in a year or even six months. But neither a man nor a woman can immediately realize this and tell each other this bitter truth. Each of them is afraid of what this can lead to how their future will change, and whether they can live without each other.
The way out of the victim’s position: how to understand that you will be rejected soon?
There are several reasons that indicate that one of you wants to break the relationship.
Joint rest is not the main thing
When the relationship is just beginning to develop, you wait for the weekend and want to spend every free minute together. Over time, the desire to see a constantly weakening, and you gradually begin to fill your free time with old hobbies, friends.
As a result, the whole weekend you spend separately. If, between people, falling out into love, they will continue to spend the weekend together, and each time the desire to be together will be stronger. If one of you finds any excuses, so as not to spend your free time and vacation together, but spends it with family or friends, this is the first reason to think that something is wrong. At this stage, you can disperse friends, or maybe even save the former passion, if one of you really wants it, the main thing is not to be in the position of the victim.
Your conversations are no longer so frank
To understand that now the abyss between you is not so difficult. This may indicate your current conversation in which you no longer speak frank, complex, as well as unpleasant topics.
The partner begins to close a little and does not tell what he feels, which is why he is worried that he is upset. If you were the first to feel it, and found yourself in the position of the victim - Do not hesitate, bring your partner to a frank conversation yourself. Do it as soon as possible, so that then what you will hear, you will not hurt even more. Then returning to normal life will be much harder.
Near your man you feel lonely
A partner is a person who can be relying on, he is ready to listen and give advice and come to the rescue at any moment. If the relationship is strong, then you will not think to share your joy, victories, disappointments or doubts with your close person.
You are 100% confident in it and in return for your love will receive support. The absence of all this says that you will part soon, therefore it is important not to move into the position of the victim.
Any little things are annoying a partner
There are no ideal people, and everyone has both their advantages that the partner will admire and the shortcomings. It is in those who loving steam that they do not notice shortcomings. At the stage of parting, any little things can annoy the partner, and he will no longer be silent, and talk about it boldly, in this case, the girls often go into the position of the victim. Any sincere conversation will be in handy so that none of you spendol in time to clarify the relationship.
Good mood - now it is nonsense
Without any doubt, we can say that a person is arranged so that any change of mood surrounded by a person is able to change your own. When you notice that the partner is constantly not in your mood, draw conclusions and act, and do not silently go into the position of the victim.
But do not make yourself a sacrifice, and do not look for the cause of the problem yourself. Try to find out that each of you does not suit you. Maybe the reason is obvious, but you are not able to see it, and your silence exacerbates the situation even more.
What should be done to get out of the victim's position?
Parting is always difficult, but from any situation you can find a way out. Everyone can become a victim. It depends on your character, and how you react to one or other situations. We are all different people and we have different character and we are different about difficult situations.
- For example, when a person loses his job, one wakes up a desire to show himself in the other area and open up completely, the other is connected with panic, the feeling that nobody needs him and nothing will achieve in this life anymore.
- Another situation. When people part, one partner will think that this is experience, although not the most successful, and the other will blame himself that he did something wrong that there was no love, and he was abandoned.
This type of behavior shows that a person is not able to live in a different situation, he is afraid to leave his comfort zone and what is happening around him does not matter. In order not to be in the position of the victim And to get out of this difficult situation, the winner must learn to notice what is going on around you, what opportunities are opening before you, trying to find a solution from not advise a pleasant situation.
Nobody forces you to be a victim, you yourself inspired it. Each of us can be happy, but before that we must come and understand that you are not a victim, but a completely happy personality.
These solution methods will help everyone stop complaining and getting out of the comfort zone without much loss for you.
- Stop blaming everyone and yourself, including.
You do not make everyone guilty in the current situation. It's nobody's fault. Feeling guilt sucks life energy out of you. Everyone has the right to make mistakes. There are no perfect people.
Your environment is not to blame that one of you was mistaken, you should not waste time on resentment, experiences, anger. You spend energy on this, which is so necessary as to cope with the current problem and find a way out of it.
It is worth understanding for yourself that no one offended you, you yourself opened the door and let in offense, you yourself moved to the position of the victim. When people yourself tell you that you did something wrong, you should listen and move on and not repeat the past mistakes.
- Do not shift your problems to others, you yourself are the master of your fate.
Try to understand what depends on you how to continue to unfold, what your future will be. Bring to be responsible for all the actions that you do, because it is you who did this so that this happens, stop putting yourself in the position of the victim.
Do not look for help from the outside, no one wants to delve into other people's problems, because everyone has enough of them. People think differently and they have different problems, do not live someone else's life, it can not always like it.
When you find yourself in a difficult situation, try to ask yourself a question: “Did I do something to solve this problem?”
- Never whine, pity has never acted on anyone yet.
This is not the best way to draw attention to yourself. It is better if you are proud of you and admire your actions, and not regret it.
Do not make yourself a sacrifice during a conversation, do not put yourself in the position of the victimJust tell us how it was. Do not blame anyone, both sides are to blame for any situation.
With any achievements, you need to share so that others admire you and take an example. Make happiness to the world to charge you.
- Try to find wisdom in any situation.
Everything has already happened. In any situation, you need to look for positive, and not fall into extremes and put yourself in the position of the victim.
Even in the worst that you could find pluses. Complex situations have been invented to find positive moments and solutions to them.
Each situation has a deep meaning. It is only necessary to make efforts to understand which one.
For this, questions that should be asked to yourself will help:
- Why do I need this problem?
- Which way to choose?
- What decision to make to find a way out?
- There are no past and future, there is: "Here and now."
The future is your fantasies that do not allow to live at the moment. And thinking about the past, you cannot start living in a new way. You constantly think about what happened and do not let new people into your new life.
It’s hard to part with the past, but it is necessary to start thinking differently and switch to a new stage in life. Think about the present.
- Believe me, who you are.
Any situation and thoughts depend only on you. Love for yourself will help increase your self -esteem, give you self -confidence. In addition to you, no one is able to solve the problems.
- Do not invent new problems and situations.
Find yourself a new hobby. To switch thoughts. Distract, travel, communicate with friends, go to the cinema, to the theater. Just live. Drive away the negative thoughts and stop setting yourself in the position of the victim.
Control the situations when you are trying to press on someone. It will be difficult, but each time such moments will be less and less.
Video: victim’s position, role, behavior and exit from the victim’s position
